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Do people tell you that you are loud? Does this annoy them or you? Are you insecure about the sound of your voice? Everyone wants to be heard, but raising your voice isn’t always the best approach. If you ever find yourself the object of glares in public places for being too loud, then this article is for you.
How to Talk Quietly
- Record yourself talking to see what you can change.
- Try speaking at a whisper.
- Ask someone to tell you when you’re talking too loud.
Steps
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Breathe from the diaphragm. Place one hand at the top of your stomach and the bottom of your rib cage. Inhale into this area and attempt to make your hand rise using your breath. This will put your breath in the right place rather than pushing speech from your nose, chest or mouth. Forcing breath from these places can be grating and loud. [1] X Research source- Once you have the breath in your diaphragm, try vocalizing from the place where you are resting your hand.
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Relax your throat. Having tension in your neck can lead to trying to force the sound out of your throat. Relax your throat in order to relax your voice. Place one hand on your neck and speak normally to assess the tension in your throat. [2] X Research source- Drop your jaw as low as you can and take in a large yawn. Release the air slowly with a gentle hum. Repeat this several times until you begin to feel your throat relaxing.
- Once your throat is relaxed, continue dropping your jaw, then exhaling with words like “hang, harm, lane and loam.”
- Massage your neck throughout this process if you feel it tightening.
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Vary your volume level. This will help you be heard as well as hearing yourself. Speaking at the same volume, tends to have the effect of the listener tuning the speaker out. This could lead to frustration and tempt the speaker to be even louder. Experiment with varying your volume level. [3] X Research source- Creating variety in your volume will allow you to be more conscious of your volume and see the effect on your listener.
- Try speaking at almost a whisper.
- Make your voice quieter until someone asks you to speak up.
- Try raising your volume only on the word you would like to emphasize. “That pizza was the BEST!”
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Enlist the help of someone else. It can be difficult to hear yourself. Ideally you would hire a coach to be an outside ear. They can assess your volume and your needs, then lead you through some exercises which will help you learn how to control your voice. If this is not an option for you at this time, ask a friend to give you feedback. [4] X Research source- Voice coaches can lead you through some breathing exercises, as well as running through the range of pitch and volume with your voice.
- If you are working on your own, ask a friend if they have noticed a difference. Give them permission to point out when you raise your voice. When they do point it out, don’t get angry. Remember that they are trying to help you.
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Practice listening more than you speak. Take the competition out of your conversations by being an active listener. Truly engage with what the other person is saying. Avoid interrupting. Listen to what they are saying instead of thinking about what you want to say next. This way you will not feel the need to raise your voice to be heard over theirs, but can be involved in the conversation on an even playing field. [5] X Research source- Try to approach the conversation from a non-judgmental perspective. Make sure that the other person knows that you're there to support and listen to whatever they're talking about.
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Control your environment. Do your best to change the elements in your environment which may cause you to increase the volume of your voice. The more you can adjust the environment to be ideal to hearing what you are saying, the less need you will feel to speak loudly. [6] X Research source- Get rid of exterior sounds by closing windows and doors.
- Move closer to the person or people you are talking to. The more distance between you and your audience, the more likely you will feel the need to raise your voice to fill the void.
- Speak in a small room. Large rooms eat up sound, and you may feel the need to speak up. Choose small rooms for quieter communication.
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Be assertive using communication skills instead of volume. Your opinions are valid and deserve to be heard. If you feel that the other person isn’t listening, practice communicating assertively without raising your voice. [7] X Research source- Meet the other person where they are at. Try to understand where they are coming from and let them know that you get it by saying something like, “I understand you have been under a lot of stress lately,” or, “I know that you are busy right now, so I will be quick.”
- Stay positive when you are speaking negatively. Even though you disagree with a person, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you dislike the person. There is certainly no need to disrespect them.
- Say “no.” Sometimes it’s as simple as just learning to say, “no.” If there does not seem to be a solution in sight, you can end the conversation and walk away rather than escalating the argument and raising your voice.
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Assimilate with the group. When speaking with a group of people, there is an urge to talk over others, one-up the other people, or hijack the conversation. As people continue to make these mistakes in a group, the entire group will increase in the volume of their speech. [8] X Research source- Wait for your opportunity to be heard rather than speaking over someone.
- Use body language to indicate that you would like to speak. Try raising a finger, nodding, or shaking your head.
- When you do have the floor, make your point quickly, before someone else jumps in.
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Listen to yourself speak. There are two ways that sound reaches the inner ear, through air and bone. Usually, the sound you hear when you speak is a combination of these two pathways. Some people are more sensitive to one or the other. [9] X Research source- Listening to a recording of yourself eliminates the bone-conducted sound as there is no vibration from the vocal chords to create this pathway. This is why your voice sounds different when you are listening to a recording of yourself.
- Try wearing earplugs to eliminate the sound conducted by air.
- Some abnormalities of the inner ear can lead to extra sensitivity of the bone transfer of sound to the point where you can hear the automatic systems of the body like breathing and moving your eyes.
- See if eliminating one of these pathways has a significant effect on your hearing.
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Test your hearing. Speaking too loudly can be a sign of hearing loss. Other signs of sensorineural hearing loss are difficulty hearing when there is a lot of background noise, and understanding what people are saying with clarity. If you are experiencing these symptoms, see your physician and get your hearing checked. -
Assess your competition. People in positions of power are often trained to speak loudly and with authority, but it also comes naturally to some who have been assigned or consider themselves to be in a high position of power. [10] X Research source- Where do you place yourself in rank of power?
- What effect is this having on the people around you?
- Would it benefit you to reduce your vocal intensity to better communicate on the same level?
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Question your motives. Some people speak loudly because they feel that they are not being heard. Another reaction to this feeling is constantly repeating yourself. If you find yourself doing these things, the cause of speaking loudly could be related to your need to have your thoughts heard. [11] X Research source
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Community Q&A
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QuestionCould my dad's loud voice have anything to do with why I'm so loud?Community AnswerYes. Your parents' speaking voices can definitely influence how your own speaking voice develops, so if your dad is loud, that could easily explain why your voice might be louder too.
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QuestionMost of my friends and family say I enjoy yelling, but when I try to stop, they say I'm too quiet. What should I do?Ameena AsifCommunity AnswerDont yell and speak gently. Have a conversation. Extend it. Joke around. Show you are interesting.
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QuestionI'm known as the loud, annoying person in my group. What can I do to change this stereotype?Community AnswerDon't repeat anything and speak in a gentle manner, and not too loudly, and don't interrupt.
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Tips from our Readers
The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
- Try going to speech therapy to seek further help.
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References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201406/how-strengthen-improve-the-sound-your-speaking-voice
- ↑ https://toastmasterscdn.azureedge.net/medias/files/department-documents/education-documents/199-your-speaking-voice.pdf
- ↑ https://open.lib.umn.edu/communication/chapter/10-3-vocal-delivery/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201406/how-strengthen-improve-the-sound-your-speaking-voice
- ↑ https://www.bhf.org.uk/informationsupport/heart-matters-magazine/wellbeing/how-to-talk-about-health-problems/active-listening
- ↑ https://www.gsb.stanford.edu/insights/big-data-approach-public-speaking
- ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/assertive-communication/
- ↑ https://www.asme.org/topics-resources/content/public-speaking-know-your-audience
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-listen-to-yourself-especially-if-youre-really-out-of-practice
About This Article
Article Summary
X
To stop speaking so loudly, try relaxing your throat before you speak since tension in your throat can make you talk louder. To relax your throat, drop your jaw, take a big breath, and slowly release the air with a gentle hum. Also, when you're talking, try to speak and breath from your diaphragm instead of your chest, nose, or mouth, which can help make your voice softer and quieter. You can also try recording yourself speaking and practicing at different volumes to get an idea of how loud you are. For more tips, like how to communicate effectively without raising your voice, read on!
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Reader Success Stories
- "The very last bullet point was helpful. Why are you doing it? Maybe because you're not being heard/repeating yourself. I totally resonate with that, but it'd be nice to know more about it. How can I deal with frustrations of people not listening or getting it (my boss) so I talk quieter?" ..." more
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"The very last bullet point was helpful. Why are you doing it? Maybe because you're not being heard/repeating yourself. I totally resonate with that, but it'd be nice to know more about it. How can I deal with frustrations of people not listening or getting it (my boss) so I talk quieter?"
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"I am looking forward to trying some of the techniques. I also am very impressed by how much of the stuff about how not feeling "heard" can lead to unconsciously speaking loud. That has certainly been the case for me, at least until I finally learned how to hang out with a nicer crowd!"
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"This article explains everything properly and professionally with nice graphic easy language. Now I know why I sound different on recording. It is also spot on my personality. I do talk loud, I do talk over other people. This article give simple solutions."
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"Just read the article today. I recognize myself in some of the problems presented here. I like how even the pictures reinforce how to modulate your voice, and to not interrupt."
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"People always say I speak too loudly when I talk. The problem is I don't even notice when I do it. This really helped me to fix this problem, thanks."
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