How to Survive Middle School (for Girls)

Last Updated: December 8, 2024 Approved

Middle school (secondary school) can be tough. Friends can turn on you, people can be mean, and you'll have more schoolwork than you've ever had before. Middle school can be a big change, whether it's in terms of friends, grades, or permissions. Facing middle school with bravery and a will to thrive means that you can enjoy your time there.

Quick Steps

Make a checklist of things you need for school and get them in advance.
Eat breakfast and get a good night’s sleep, especially before your first day.
Stay on your teacher’s good side (especially if they’re strict!).
Be kind and patient to everyone to stay open to making new friends.
Focus on your classes instead of participating in drama or gossiping.
Schedule “me time” during the week and lean on your family for support.

Part 1

Part 1 of 4:

Before School Starts

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1
Go to the school's orientation day, if possible. Often, you will receive a schedule before school starts. Don’t be worried about the first day of school.
- If you can never find your way to class, take a map. Some schools provide these at the orientation. You can also ask at the front office and they will be happy to help you.
Your school may require that you have a specific kit for the activities undertaken. Check with your school if you’re not sure. A PE outfit should consist of appropriate sports shoes, a T-shirt, or other sports top, a hoodie if you have PE outside and a pair of bottoms, either leggings, tracksuit bottoms or shorts.

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3
Make a good impression when you meet your teachers for the first time.
- Know where your classes are. Try to find what floor, class, hallway, or side of the school your classes are in.
If that is what happens, then calm down. Just make sure you do not get on the teacher's bad side. If you behave and do well in their class they will most likely like you!
5
Go through a checklist the day before school starts:
- Is everything in your backpack?
- Do you have your schedule?
- Gym clothes?
- Is your back-to-school outfit on your dresser, hanging on closet/door?
6
Learn your locker combination.
- If you always forget your locker combo, try this trick. On the inside cover of a notebook, write your locker combo like a math problem. Example: 24+16=42. So then your locker combo is 24,16,42 even though the equation was wrong. Plus, nobody knows that it is your combo.
- Keep your locker organized. It will be easier to find the things that you need.
- Don't worry if you forget your locker combination. Someone in the office can help you.
If you are bringing lunch, use a lunch box instead of a brown paper bag, just so you don't waste.
8
Get a binder with a strap or a drawstring bag. Many schools don't allow kids to carry their backpacks because it takes up a lot of room. And besides, a heavy backpack can be bad for you, so it's best to avoid them.
- Take an emergency kit with you either in your locker or your bag. You might need it.
- Keep a schedule with you. It will keep you organized for the day or you could make your own. Tell yourself what you are going to do for the day.

Part 2

Part 2 of 4:

On The First Day Back

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1
Eat a healthy breakfast . Something as simple as being well-nourished in the mornings can make a big difference in your happiness and overall success in school.
- If you don't have time for breakfast before school, bring something to eat on the way.
2
Try your best to get to your classes on time. If you're late for classes on the first day, it's understandable. Don't stop and chat unless you're completely sure you can get to class on time. Get your books and head to class. Stop at your locker for a minute if you need to. Don't stay in the hall for too long or else you might get in trouble.
- Get a pass from your teacher to stop by your locker if you need to. This way, you can get your stuff and not be in trouble for being late.
- Find shortcuts to get to class. Maybe if you go through the middle staircase, you can get to the second period quicker!
- Don't stop and talk! This is no excuse to be late. Instead, tell them you can talk later, at a more appropriate time.
3
Be open to making new friends. Be kind, friendly, and patient. Many people want to be your friend based on who you are, not what you look like or who you pretend to be.
- In particular, look out for people who don't seem to have anyone to hang around with. You can invite them to join you. Even if they decline, they will at least know there are people who want to hang out with them, and you can remind them that you are open to them joining you whenever they want.

Part 3

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Surviving The Year

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Don't get your teacher angry. Some teachers mean what they say, and play no games. If you feel a teacher is treating you unfairly, bring it up in a calm way and be clear in exactly why you think this.
Taking your time, talking, or being unprepared can give you supervisions. Supervisions are detentions! You don't want detention on your first day.
3
Make sure not to procrastinate. Leaving your work for afterwards leads to stress and poor grades, so it's a better idea to start your homework 30 minutes or so after you get home. Avoid being around distractions like TV, a computer, or your cell phone while you're doing homework. Feel free to take short breaks while you're working, but be diligent about getting back to work once the break is over.
- It is always a good idea to do extra credit work and even if the teacher didn’t ask for any. Just make sure not to overwhelm yourself.
- Some schools provide student planners or agendas. Make use of this and write down homework, important dates, to-do lists, and anything else you need to remember. They will help you to be prepared.
- If your school provides study spaces, such as a library or an empty classroom, take advantage of them. This can be a good place to get homework and assignments done without distractions.
4
Read before bed. While it's tempting to spend time on the computer before bed, you will sleep less if you do this. Instead, find a good book and wind down by reading.
- As a rule, it is best to stay away from all screens at least an hour before going to bed. This can help you get to sleep better.
5
Keep a good relationship with your family. Give your parents details about your day when they ask (or even if they don't!). Help out around the house—offer to do dishes, set the table, or take your dog for a walk. The good behavior will pay off when you ask to do things with friends.
- Tell your parents how your day went. Was it good? Okay? Perfect? Terrible? A Nightmare? Talk to your parents. They will listen. Get into the habit of this every day; it's a great way to stay connected and not have them pry it out of you. Your parents will also want to know. They can give advice to you if you need it, and if you have a problem, telling them about it can make you feel less anxious and get it sorted sooner rather than later.
- If you have an older sibling try to ask them about middle school (particularly if you're going to the same school as them).
6
Avoid getting caught up in drama. Remember that the number of times that you date someone or the amount of makeup you wear won't make you popular, and more importantly, it won't help you do well in school. And try not to cause drama either. It will make you look like a bad friend.
- Avoid gossip as well. Nobody likes to be friends with the girl who's in everyone's business, and in every conversation. And not in a good way.
- Don't get into other people's business. It's not your business! If you worry that someone is at risk of harm, tell a trusted member of staff, but don't tell fellow students.
- Don't get frustrated too quickly. Try to keep cool and keep your anger in check.
- Don't focus on dating . Focus on your grades and classes. This will help you in the long run, more specifically high school, college, and beyond, as you will have a clear view of your academic goals as a priority. If you do choose to date, don't worry if things don't work out. It isn't the be-all, end-all.
7
Find friends who are your equals. If you constantly feel as though you're your friend's shadow or vice versa, work to even the playing field or find a new group of friends. You don't need to have a massive group of friends, as long as you are happy with them.
- Have more friends than just your best friend, just in case something happens between you guys. Always be open to new friends. It is also important that you don't just rely on one person for all your needs and you don't have someone relying solely on you for theirs.
8
Remember to schedule "me" time. Take a little time each day to relax by yourself. Get to know yourself—middle school is a time when everyone is changing, and you're more likely to love those changes if you are working to know yourself.
- Don't change yourself for someone else or because they're not satisfied with who you are. Be yourself and not a second class version of someone else.
9
Stay true to yourself. Some people are going to try to get you to change for their needs. Don't forget, that your true friends will accept you for who you are and vice versa. So don't try to change just to get other people's approval, because if you mess up and get people mad at you, it may affect the rest of your middle school year.
- While you shouldn't change your personality for other people, you should always focus on becoming a better and kinder person . For example, if you typically ignore people who are lonely, you may wish to, instead, be the kind of person who includes others.
Most of all, learn to appreciate living in the present while being focused on your future. These are skills worth cultivating.

Part 4

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Maintaining Hygiene

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You don't have to wash your hair that often, but washing your body will help mitigate acne and body odor. You may wish for a product to wash your face.
2
Apply makeup if you're allowed. It might be best to not overdo it in a school setting and instead keep it more natural. All you need for a more natural look is some mascara, maybe some natural color eyeshadow, and blush. But don't forget to wash it all off before bedtime because makeup can create pimples and zits from getting into your pores.
- Of course, for many people, makeup is a way to express yourself so if you want to wear more obvious makeup as a way to express yourself, that's your choice. Just make sure your school and your parents will allow it.
- If you want to wear perfume, that's a good choice, but don't spray too much that it chokes people up.
- Feel free to skip makeup altogether if you like. Do it only if you feel like it.
This sounds like a no-brainer, but bad breath can be unpleasant both for you and those around you. It also helps you feel more fresh and ready for the day.

Community Q&A

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Question

What happens if you forget your locker combination?

Victoria

Top Answerer

Go to the office, and they will likely be able to either give you your combination or contact someone to open your locker for you. In the future, be sure to write your locker combination down and keep it in a safe and secret place so that you do not lose it.

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How do I survive middle school?

Drew Hawkins1

Community Answer

Middle school can seem tough and scary, especially with all of the new material and extra homeworker, not to mention all of the drama. But if you're well prepared, you can make it through, one day at a time. One trick to make your life easier is to stay on you teachers' good sides. The last thing you need is one of them breathing down your neck. Pay attention in class, do your homework, and ask for help if you need it. They shouldn't give you too much trouble. As far as drama goes, try your best to avoid getting caught up in it. The number of boys you date or the amount of makeup you wear won't make you popular, and neither will gossiping about people behind their back. Focus on your grades and classes. You'll make plenty of friends and you can choose who you want to hang out with. You don't have to feel pressured to fit in or do what other people tell you to do. It may be hard to look so far ahead, but the truth is, middle school is only temporary. Try to stay out of trouble and do your schoolwork so you can make it out alive.

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What do middle schoolers struggle with?

Drew Hawkins1

Community Answer

Apart from schoolwork and lunch, middle schoolers have to learn how to deal with a lot of new things. One of the biggest is how to learn to navigate relationships and the drama that can come with it. If you're able to steer clear of drama, your time in middle school can have a lot fewer headaches. There are a few things you can try to avoid drama. For starters, don't gossip or talk about people behind their backs. It isn't nice to them and it can make you look bad. Focus on your own stuff and stay out of other people's business. It's totally natural to feel frustrated or angry with other people, especially if they're mean to you. Try to keep a cool head and avoid letting your anger get the best of you. It may sound really boring or lame, but you really should try to just focus on your grades. It'll be better for you in the long run. High school, college, and everything after that will be much better if you stay focused in middle school. Remember, it only lasts a little while and then it's over!

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It might take a while to get used to middle school but you will have the time of your life if you just behave and you turn in your homework!

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Staying organized can help you switch classes faster.

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Planners, also known as agendas, help keep you organized. These are used to write down events and homework.

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Warnings

Do not put stickers on lockers. Buy magnetic items so they can easily stick to your locker without the damaging effects of sticker residue.

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Don't think that it is important to be popular. Being popular can be hard too because there's even more pressure to look good and act cool rather than less. Instead focus on being around people who make you happy and allow you to express yourself.

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How to Survive Middle School (for Girls)

Quick Steps

Steps

Before School Starts

On The First Day Back

Surviving The Year

Maintaining Hygiene

Community Q&A

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Warnings

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