How to Survive Overthinking

Co-authored by Chloe Carmichael, PhD and Amy Bobinger, BA

Last Updated: July 22, 2024 Approved

Do you ever find yourself weighing the pros and cons of a situation for so long that you forget to ever take action? Or maybe you play out a conversation in your head so many times that you feel like you've actually talked to the other person. If so, you might be an overthinker! While everybody gets caught up in their head once in a while, chronic overthinking can make it hard to actually deal with problems, so it's important to learn new strategies so you can get out of your head and back into the present moment.

1

Focus on the big picture.

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When you're overthinking, you tend to get caught up in details. While you might be able to learn something new by giving these things some quick consideration, it's better to step back and look at the whole picture. If you're crushing on someone, for example, you might think about their every comment or facial expression after you see them—but scrutinizing every interaction for telling details can keep you from seeing what's really going on. ^{[1]
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- Does your crush treat you, for the most part, like they're interested in you? Or are you just hoping to find a subtle sign because of how you feel about them? Being realistic about your overall relationship can help you stop overthinking every small interaction.

2

Take small, proactive steps toward a solution.

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Big problems seem less intimidating when you break them down. Sometimes you might find yourself overthinking about a problem that just seems too overwhelming, and you're not sure what to do about it. If you're unhappy with your job, you might get caught up in thinking about every aspect about it that you hate. That's not going to help you in the long run, though. ^{[2]
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- Instead, figure out the first step you can take—like taking an online class in your free time, or starting up a side hustle that you might eventually be able to expand into a full-time career.

3

Learn to be present in the moment.

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Practice mindfulness to develop this habit. When you're overthinking, you're usually either caught up in replaying something from the past or trying to figure out all the possible outcomes of something in the future. If you can learn to bring your attention back to what's actually happening around you, it can help you be more deliberate with your thoughts. ^{[3]
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- One good exercise for practicing mindfulness is to use all of your senses to experience what's happening in the moment—try to find at least one thing you can see, hear, smell, taste, and feel around you. ^{[4]
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  Mayo Clinic
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4

Distract yourself when you're overthinking.

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Do something that you find fun and engaging. When your thoughts are running away from you, sometimes you just need to go do something else for a while. Anything will work, as long as it gets your mind off whatever is bothering you—some people enjoy coloring or doing puzzles, while others enjoy going for a walk or getting some exercise. Just choose something that makes you feel good. ^{[5]
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- If you love gardening, go outside and pull up some weeds, or repot a plant that's getting a little crowded.
- If you like getting active, go for a jog, do some laps in the pool, or practice your basketball free-throws.

5

Get your thoughts down on paper.

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Try spending 10 minutes a day writing down your thoughts. Journaling can be a really powerful way to calm overthinking. When you write, it helps you organize your thoughts, so they don't feel so jumbled and overwhelming in your mind. Writing can also help you get to the root of what's going on—so you might feel like it's easier to see a solution, or even just realize it's time to let go of whatever you're feeling. ^{[6]
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University of Rochester Medical Center
Leading academic medical center in the U.S. focused on clinical care and research
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- After you've been journaling for a while, read back through your writing and look for patterns in your thinking. Ask yourself how these patterns influence how you see yourself, your relationships, and the world around you. ^{[7]
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  Expert Source
  
  Chloe Carmichael, PhD
  Licensed Clinical Psychologist
  
  Expert Interview. 14 July 2020.}
- If you're struggling with critical thoughts, try writing them as "you" statements instead of "I" statements. If you see something like "You're really bad at school," for instance, it might help you see how hurtful your critical inner voice can be. Try to think of a counter for each of those "You" statements, as well—like "You always try really hard." ^{[8]
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6

Set aside a time each day to worry.

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Tell yourself you can't worry outside of this time. Create a block on your schedule for your specified worry time—maybe 15-20 minutes where you can think through whatever's on your mind. Then, throughout the day, keep a list where you can jot down anything that you start to worry about. Tell yourself you're not allowed to think about it until that designated worry period. That way, you won't end up overthinking all day long about one issue, especially if it's something that could be solved in those few minutes. ^{[9]
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HelpGuide
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- Just make sure not to schedule your worry period too close to bedtime, or you might not have time to release those feelings before you try to go to sleep.

7

Talk out your thoughts with a friend.

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Saying your thoughts out loud can help you process them. If you just can't seem to move past your thoughts, try opening up to someone you really trust, like a close family member or a friend. Tell them what you're dealing with and why you think you keep coming back to these thoughts. ^{[10]
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HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
Go to source}
- When you're finished, sit back and give them some space to share their point of view, as well—they might just have some good advice that might put your mind at ease.

8

Try to see problems as challenges.

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Look for solutions instead of just replaying the obstacle. If you notice that you're just thinking about every little detail of a decision you're facing, or ruminating on all the ways a situation go wrong, try to reframe your thoughts. Focus on how you can be proactive—how can you solve the problem, or what can you learn from it that will help you in the future? ^{[11]
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- This simple shift can help you feel empowered instead of overwhelmed.
- It can also help to separate how you're feeling about a situation from the things you can do to solve that situation. ^{[12]
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  PubMed Central
  Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
  Go to source}

9

Figure out what triggers your overthinking.

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Identifying a pattern can help you interrupt it. Next time you get caught up in overthinking, stop and track your thoughts backward to figure out what started the cycle. Over time, as you practice this, you'll probably start noticing that there are some similarities to what makes you overthink. Once you can identify those triggers, you'll be able to recognize when you're more vulnerable to overthinking, and it will be easier to stop it before it starts. ^{[13]
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- You might notice that you tend to overthink when you're anxious about a difficult conversation, for instance. In that case, you might find that it helps when you write down what you want to talk about, then set a deadline for when to have that conversation.

10

Think kind thoughts about yourself.

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Stand up for yourself instead of bringing yourself down. Sometimes, overthinking happens because you're upset at yourself for making a mistake. Maybe your thoughts have even taken on the voice of someone from your past who was really critical of you. Instead of replaying your mistakes over and over, get in the habit of replacing that negative self-talk with something positive about yourself. ^{[14]
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Trustworthy Source
Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source}
- If you make a mistake at work, for instance, you might catch yourself thinking something like, "I'm always getting things wrong; I don't even deserve that job." Instead, replace that with something like, "I might not be perfect, but they hired me because they saw potential. I've earned my place and I can learn from this mistake."

11

Don't let a fear of disappointment or failure hold you back.

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Ask yourself whether overthinking is a way to procrastinate. Maybe you have to weigh every element of a decision because you're afraid you're going to fail. Or maybe you don't want to try something new because you don't want to end up being disappointed in your decision. If you're not willing to make a leap, though, you're not giving yourself a chance to succeed. ^{[15]
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- If you're trying to decide whether to go to a party, for instance, try asking yourself questions like, "What's really the worst that could happen?" or "What do I have to lose?" Then, ask yourself, "What if I have a great time?"
- Even if things don't turn out exactly how you hoped, you're more likely to regret it never taking a risk in the first place.

12

Learn to recognize cognitive distortions.

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These are thinking patterns that affect how you see a situation. Cognitive distortions are basically a negative filter for your thoughts. Fortunately, if you can learn to recognize these when they happen, it will be easier to overcome them. ^{[16]
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Research source} Some of the most common cognitive distortions include: ^{[17]
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- All or nothing thinking: Believing things are either all good or all bad.
- Overgeneralization: Seeing negative events as part of a bigger cycle instead of taking them one at a time.
- Mental filtering: Only seeing the negative parts of a situation while ignoring the positive.
- Magnification or minimization: Feeling like bad things are really important while good things aren't that important
- Catastrophizing: Automatically assuming a situation will turn out badly.

13

Reach out to a therapist for help.

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Talk to a mental health professional about your overthinking. Sometimes, it might seem like your overthinking is due to everyday problems. However, the real issues might be due to things like past trauma or a deep fear of failure. A licensed therapist can help you identify the cause of your overthinking and learn new strategies for how to cope with those thoughts—as well as any underlying feelings that are contributing to them. ^{[18]
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- Remember, there's nothing wrong with asking for help if you need it, especially if your overthinking is holding you back from doing things you'd really like to do!

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How to Survive Overthinking

Steps

Focus on the big picture.

Take small, proactive steps toward a solution.

Learn to be present in the moment.

Distract yourself when you're overthinking.

Get your thoughts down on paper.

Set aside a time each day to worry.

Talk out your thoughts with a friend.

Try to see problems as challenges.

Figure out what triggers your overthinking.

Think kind thoughts about yourself.

Don't let a fear of disappointment or failure hold you back.

Learn to recognize cognitive distortions.

Reach out to a therapist for help.

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