14 Ways Cats Show Love & Affection

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Plus, learn how to get your cat to love you even more
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Cats may have a reputation for being cold and aloof, but they’re actually very affectionate with the people they love—you just have to know what to look for. For this article, we reached out to veterinarians and cat behavior experts to learn how to tell if a cat loves you and how to show a cat you love them (and get them to love you back). Plus, learn how to understand cat body language and get answers to other questions about common cat behaviors.

How do cats show love?

Cats show love through their body language and behaviors. Your cat may make a lot of eye contact and slowly blink at you. They may headbutt or rub against you a lot, or follow you around the house. Your cat may lick or bite you to show affection, or just try to be as close to you as possible.

Section 1 of 6:

Signs Your Cat Loves You

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  1. 1
    Slow blinking Like many animals, cats often use eye contact as a form of affection. Cats will stare into the eyes of those they trust and love. In many cases, they’ll lower their eyelids and slowly and steadily blink at you. Many consider this the feline form of a kiss! [1]
    • Veterinarian Brian Bourquin recommends slow blinking back at your cat: “Blinking at them can actually be a sign of ‘Hello, how are you doing?’ So just sitting there, looking sideways, and blinking at them is something most cats appreciate.”
  2. 2
    Headbutting Don’t worry—headbutting isn’t a form of aggression. Your cat may bump their head against you or rub their face against you to show affection. Headbutting is a way to mark you with their scent to claim you as one of their own. It helps them bond with you . [2]
    • Cats learn this behavior as kittens by headbutting their littermates and mother.
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  3. 3
    Grooming Cats groom each other as a form of affection, and this behavior often extends to humans. Your cat may lick you or allow you to brush them as a way to show they trust and love you. Licking also allows them to mark you and build a stronger bond. [3]
    • If you’re brushing or grooming your cat , pay attention to their body language. If they quickly and repeatedly swish their tail, hiss, or growl, they may be getting overstimulated. It’s best to back off and let them rest for a while.
  4. 4
    Kneading As kittens, cats knead their mother while they’re nursing. The behavior is believed to release endorphins to bring comfort, reduce stress, and promote relaxation. Cats often knead their humans to show contentment, especially when you’re petting them . They also knead to create a softer sleeping spot. [4]
  5. 5
    Showing their belly Exposing their belly is often considered the ultimate sign of trust in cats. The position leaves them vulnerable to attack, as their vital organs are more exposed, so they trust that you won’t harm them. Cats only lie on their backs and show their stomachs when they’re at their most relaxed. [5]
    • Keep in mind that a cat exposing its belly doesn’t mean it wants belly rubs. Some cats may like having their belly scratched, but many don’t. If you rub their belly, they may bite or scratch you.
  6. 6
    Meowing Cats meow for a variety of reasons because it’s the easiest way to communicate with humans. Sometimes, though, short, quiet meows are a form of affection, especially if you’re speaking to them. If the meows become longer or turn into hisses, however, it likely means the cat has had enough interaction. [6]
    • According to certified feline training and behavior specialist Molly DeVoss, when cats meow, “They are commonly trying to get your attention to show you what they want. Meowing often means ‘I’m hungry’ or ‘Hello, I’ve missed you.’ Meowing can also be a command, objection, or announcement.”
  7. 7
    Purring In most cases, purring is a way for cats to express their contentment, especially when you’re petting, playing, or communicating with them . It usually means your cat is feeling happy , safe, and relaxed. Cats may also purr when they’re nervous or stressed, but this is accompanied by different body language, like pinning their ears back or quickly swishing their tail. [7]
  8. 8
    Greeting you at the door This behavior is more commonly associated with dogs, but cats also sometimes greet their owners at the door. If your cat meets you at the door, it usually means they missed you. They may also walk between your legs or curl their tail around you. While this is ultimately a form of greeting, it could also mean they need something from you, like fresh water or a clean litter box. [8]
  9. 9
    Following you This behavior is similar to greeting you at the door. Your cat may follow you around your home to show that they trust and love you. They may walk between your legs or trail behind you, wanting to keep you in their sight at all times. [9]
  10. 10
    Tail language Cats use their tails to express how they’re feeling. When your cat is happy or content, they will usually hold their tail in an upright position with a hook at the top. They may slowly wag their tail back and forth and allow it to touch you when they’re lying next to you. In some cases, they may even rattle, or quiver, their tail when they’re especially happy to see you. [10]
  11. 11
    Bringing you presents Cats are hunters by nature, so don’t be surprised if your furry friend leaves you a “treat,” like the remains of a mouse or insect it caught. This may seem gross, but take it as a compliment. Your cat wants to reward you for your love. If they can’t hunt live prey, they may also bring you their toys. [11]
  12. 12
    Sleeping with or near you Cats are the most vulnerable when they’re asleep, so if your cat sleeps with or near you, it means they trust you to protect them. It may also mean that they’re willing to protect you, as well. Don’t be surprised if your kitty curls up near or on top of you to take a cat nap. [12]
  13. 13
    Trilling You probably know cats meow and purr, but have you ever heard them make a high-pitched chirping noise? This is called trilling, and while it can express a wide range of emotions, it usually means your kitty feels content, affectionate, or excited. Your cat may also trill as a greeting. [13]
  14. 14
    Love bites Sometimes, cats show love in a way that’s a bit intense for their human companions. If your cat is rubbing their face against you, they may also bite. Biting isn’t always a defense method. In this case, it’s a sign of affection. Because they have sharp teeth, though, these bites can still be painful, so it’s usually best to discourage this behavior. [14]
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Section 2 of 6:

Do cats really love their humans?

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  1. Yes, cats really do love their humans! Though they have a reputation of being cold and aloof, cats are social and affectionate animals that love their humans. They’re more independent than dogs, but they developed the ability to form social connections during the domestication process. They may be subtle with their affection, but rest assured that your cat loves you. [15]
Section 3 of 6:

How to Show Your Cat You Love It

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  1. 1
    Play with your cat every day. According to cat behaviorist Rita Reimers, “Make sure you play with [your cat] every day. Cats love to play. That’s how they learn to hunt as kittens, and that instinct stays sharp even in your indoor cats. You can do some playtime with your cat with the laser pointer. You can really wear them out with things they can chase.” Make time to play with your cat every day, and they will associate you with fun, predictable experiences, which will strengthen your bond and help get them to love you .
    • Reimers adds, “There is one type of toy on a string, like a fishing pole type toy, that can mimic the motion of birds flying in the air. They love to chase after those things.”
  2. 2
    Teach your cat tricks. Cats need mental enrichment, especially if they’re indoor-only. Try spending 15 minutes a day teaching your cat new tricks and commands with the help of a clicker. Rewarding them with treats allows them to bond with you, especially if they’re food-motivated. [16]
    • It’s not impossible to train cats, but be aware that learning tricks may not appeal to some of them.
  3. 3
    Let your cat be close to you. Cats usually enjoy being close to the people they love, but this doesn’t necessarily mean they want to be held or cuddled. Allow your cat to make the first move. They’ll let you know how much physical affection and social interaction they want from you. [17]
  4. 4
    Pet and groom them. Gently stroke your cat from nose to tail to give them a nice massage. Focus on the places they like best, such as under their cheeks or at the base of their tail. While cats are usually good about grooming themselves, brushing them also feels like a massage and helps keep them clean while allowing you two to bond. [18]
    • When massaging your cat , DeVoss says, “Cats typically prefer to be touched from the neck up. They like to have the side of their face rubbed, chin scratched, ears rubbed, and sometimes being pet on the top of their head. Some cats like you to pet them from their head, along the spine, to the base of the tail, and some will even raise their hind end in response to show you they like it.”
  5. 5
    Give them an occasional treat. “The fastest way to a cat’s heart is through its stomach,” says DeVoss. Giving your cat treats is a great way to reward good behavior and help them feel more comfortable around you. Try different brands and flavors until you find your cat’s favorite. Then, give them out as rare rewards so your cat sees them as something special.
  6. 6
    Provide them with a safe, enriching environment. Cats thrive when they feel safe in their surroundings. Give them a space that belongs just to them, complete with a cat tree, a cozy bed, and their favorite toys. If your cat is indoor-only, consider giving them access to a window. “Window perches are great,” says Reimers. “Cats love it if you put a perch on a window and then put a bird feeder on the other side of the window. They’ll be enthralled with that for hours.”
    • If possible, Reimers also recommends giving your cat access to a patio: “A patio gives the cats some outdoor experience while being safe behind a screened-in environment. They can get some fresh air and maybe watch little animals outside.”
    • In general, cats like routine and don’t do well with change. Try not to move their things around too much.
    EXPERT TIP

    Molly DeVoss

    Certified Feline Training and Behavior Specialist & Certified Cat Behavior Consultant
    Molly DeVoss is a Certified Feline Training and Behavior Specialist (CFTBS), a Certified Cat Behavior Consultant (CCBC), a Fear Free Certified Trainer (FFCT), and the Founder of Cat Behavior Solutions. Molly specializes in using positive reinforcement to modify and prevent unwanted behaviors in cats and reduce cat shelter surrender. Molly has sat on the Dallas Animal Advisory committee since 2013 and was voted one of the Top 12 Extraordinary Cat Behaviorists of 2020 by Catpetclub.com. She is certified by both the Animal Behavior Institute and the International Association of Animal Behavior Consultants. She is also the host of the weekly podcast Cat Talk Radio.
    Molly DeVoss
    Certified Feline Training and Behavior Specialist & Certified Cat Behavior Consultant

    Go slow to build trust with a cat. Don’t invade the cat’s space. Provide a calm and enriching environment, give them lots of treats and reassurance, and be sure to go at the cat’s pace. Sitting with them during meals is another good way to gain trust.

  7. 7
    Give them catnip. Not only is catnip a source of fun and entertainment for your cat, but it can also reduce their stress and promote physical activity. Give your cat some catnip as a treat or as a reward for good behavior. In general, it’s recommended to only give your cat catnip once every 2-3 weeks so they don’t become desensitized. [19]
  8. 8
    Learn their language. “Cats communicate from the tip of their nose to the end of their tail,” says DeVoss. “A cat’s body language tells us a lot about what they are feeling.” Cats use different sounds and behaviors to communicate with humans, and not all of them are obvious at first. Learn how to interpret meowing, purring, tail movements, and body language to give your cat what it wants or needs. This shows your cat that you respect them.
    • If you’re not sure if a cat wants to interact with you, cat training and behavior expert Joey Lusvardi recommends something called the consent test: “Offer a finger to the cat. If the cat comes up, sniffs your finger, and starts rubbing its face or its head against you, you can pet its head or its face or its cheek. If they don’t, then you don’t try and pet them, and you let them walk away because that gives them control over the situation. That can help build up a positive association with yourself.”
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Section 4 of 6:

Understanding Cat Body Language

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  1. 1
    Happy body language “Ears and whiskers forward with an upright tail and tall stance suggest a cat is curious and happy,” explains DeVoss. When cats are happy or content, they’ll likely stretch their limbs and tail away from their body when lying down, or show their belly. Their eyes may be round or partially closed, and their pupils will be narrow slits.
  2. 2
    Playful body language Because cats are natural predators, they often act like they’re hunting when they’re feeling playful. They’ll crouch down, wiggle their rear end, and pounce on their toys or playmates. Their eyes will likely be large with dilated pupils, and their ears will be up and facing forward. Playful cats often flick their tail from side to side, especially when something has their attention. [20]
  3. 3
    Stressed body language When cats are stressed, they often hold their stiff, tense body low to the ground. Their eyes may appear wide or narrowed, and their ears will be pinned to the sides or angled backward. They may hold their tail close to their body or thrash and thump it. When you’re petting or interacting with your cat, Bourquin explains that it’s important to read their signals: “If the cat at any point starts whisking their tail back and forth or the ears start to flatten, that’s a huge sign to stop.”
    • Your cat may also perform certain behaviors (such as licking their lips, scratching, grooming, or yawning) out of context to cope with their stress. These are called displacement behaviors.
  4. 4
    Fearful body language “You can tell if a cat is scared by paying close attention to their body and head postures,” explains DeVoss. “When cats are scared, they are usually motionless and alert. They will hold their body close to the ground. The legs will likely be bent in a ready-to-run posture. Their breathing may be elevated.” A scared cat may initially make themselves look smaller by scrunching up their body. Their eyes may widen and dilate, and their ears will likely be pinned back. They may wrap their tail tightly around their body and hiss or growl to warn the perceived threat to back off.
  5. 5
    Aggressive body language When cats believe they are in danger, they may become aggressive because they feel like they have to fight for their safety. They’ll likely try to make themselves appear larger by arching their back and letting their fur stand on end. Their eyes may be widened with dilated pupils, or they might be narrowed. Their ears will be pinned back, and they may flick or thrash their tail. If their warnings aren’t heeded, the cat may spit and lunge or swat at the perceived threat. [21]
  6. 6
    Sick or injured body language “A cat is going to hide signs of sickness,” explains Bourquin, “so you need to be very astute.” Changes in their body language may be the first sign something is wrong. When a cat is sick or in pain, they may hunch their body and tuck their legs beneath them. Their eyes may be squinted or held shut and may appear dazed or glassy. Their ears may be held low or rotated to the sides, and their tail may be held underneath or wrapped closely around their body. [22]
    • Some cats may also purr to soothe themselves when they’re sick or injured. Pay attention to an increase in meowing or yowling, as well.
    • If you suspect your cat is sick or injured, take them to the vet as soon as possible.
    • Bourquin warns, “If your cat is not eating, that could be a sign of something much more serious than a behavior issue. It could actually be sick. Any changes in attention, whether it be more attention-seeking or an affectionate cat who suddenly doesn’t want attention, is a sign that there could be something going on.”
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Section 5 of 6:

Are dogs more loving than cats?

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  1. Dogs and cats express affection in different ways. Dogs may be more obvious with their love, but this doesn’t mean your cat doesn’t love you. While dogs jump around and wag their tails to express affection, cats are more subtle and express their love in ways that humans may not easily notice or understand. Cats often express attachment through their desire to be near their humans, purring, and kneading. [23]
    • Some studies have shown that cats form attachment bonds with humans. However, these bonds aren’t as unconditional as the bonds between dogs and humans. Cats are more likely to display resentment or hold grudges if their trust is broken.
    • “You can’t force an interaction [with a cat],” says Reimers. “Dogs are always automatically happy to jump in your lap, but cats are not so much. You really have to spend time almost courting them, [and] letting them get to know you slowly over time so they can form that bond with you.”
Section 6 of 6:

Cat Behavior FAQs

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  1. 1
    Why does my cat meow constantly? Typically, cats only meow to communicate with humans, so your cat is likely trying to tell you something. “Cats have about 60 different meow sounds they make with nuances that indicate the meaning,” explains DeVoss. “A demanding, long, drawn-out meow can mean your cat wants something from you or is seeking attention. Chirping and trilling are a cat’s way of greeting you. With cats, you have to take into consideration every body position, sound they are making, and the environment surrounding them in order to fully understand what they are trying to say.”
    • If your cat is meowing urgently or more than usual, it may be a sign that they’re sick or injured. Look for other signs and take them to a vet if necessary.
  2. 2
    Why does my cat bite me? It depends on the type of bite. If it’s a gentle bite accompanied by headbutting and rubbing, it’s likely a love bite, and your cat is simply showing affection. Cats also tend to get carried away during playtime and may bite or kick. However, if a cat is angry or threatened, they may bite to defend themselves. [24]
    • If your cat bites hard enough to break the skin, wash it with soap and water immediately. Bandage it and keep an eye out for infection, as cat saliva can carry bacteria.
  3. 3
    Why does my cat follow me to the bathroom? Cats want to be close to the people they love, so they often follow their humans around the house, including to the bathroom. If you close the bathroom door and leave your cat on the other side, they may fish their paws underneath to see what they can grab. Cats are curious about what lies behind closed doors, especially if they know their human is on the other side. [25]
  4. 4
    Why does my cat stare at me? Humans may find staring to be rude, but cats use it as a form of communication. Your cat may stare at you to express affection, to indicate their food dish is empty, to stay on alert, or because they enjoy watching you go about your business. The staring may be accompanied by slow blinks, which signal contentment. [26]
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    Why does my cat sit on my computer? There are two main reasons cats sit on laptops: they’re warm and they hold your attention. Your cat wants to be the center of your attention, and they know that when you have your computer, you’ll be focused on it instead of them. This is why it’s often difficult to keep your cat away from your computer when you’re working. [27]
    • If you want to “cat-proof” your computer , try using a laptop stand or working in a room your cat doesn’t have access to. Close your laptop when you aren’t using it, and give your cat plenty of toys and things to do to keep them occupied.
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      • All cats are different, so they don’t all express their affection in the same way. The more you bond with your cat, the easier it will be to tell how they’re feeling.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://cats.com/how-to-show-your-cat-you-love-her
      2. ↑ https://www.catster.com/cat-behavior/how-to-tell-if-your-cat-loves-you/
      3. ↑ https://www.catster.com/cat-behavior/how-to-tell-if-your-cat-loves-you/
      4. ↑ https://www.dailypaws.com/cats-kittens/behavior/common-cat-behaviors/why-do-cats-knead
      5. ↑ https://www.catster.com/cat-behavior/how-to-tell-if-your-cat-loves-you/
      6. ↑ https://hsdayton.org/2019/02/how-your-cat-shows-you-love/
      7. ↑ https://hsdayton.org/2019/02/how-your-cat-shows-you-love/
      8. ↑ https://whiskers101.com/lifestyles/pets/four-ways-to-tell-if-your-cat-loves-you-based-on-science/article_8cb032c0-4ef6-11ed-b206-5f1aebc19388.html
      9. ↑ https://www.catster.com/cat-behavior/how-to-tell-if-your-cat-loves-you/
      1. ↑ https://www.fatkittycity.org/blog/10-signs-your-cat-loves-you
      2. ↑ https://www.catster.com/cat-behavior/how-to-tell-if-your-cat-loves-you/
      3. ↑ https://hsdayton.org/2019/02/how-your-cat-shows-you-love/
      4. ↑ https://cats.com/cat-trilling
      5. ↑ https://www.fatkittycity.org/blog/10-signs-your-cat-loves-you
      6. ↑ https://cats.com/how-to-show-your-cat-you-love-her
      7. ↑ https://www.dailypaws.com/cats-kittens/behavior/cat-psychology/do-cats-love-their-owners
      8. ↑ https://cats.com/how-to-show-your-cat-you-love-her
      9. ↑ https://cats.com/how-to-show-your-cat-you-love-her
      10. ↑ https://cats.com/how-to-show-your-cat-you-love-her
      11. ↑ https://www.cats.org.uk/help-and-advice/cat-behaviour/cat-body-language
      12. ↑ https://www.montgomerycountymd.gov/animalservices/Resources/Files/CatBodyLanguage.pdf
      13. ↑ https://vcahospitals.com/know-your-pet/recognizing-signs-of-illness-in-cats
      14. ↑ https://cats.com/how-to-show-your-cat-you-love-her
      15. ↑ https://www.cats.org.uk/cats-blog/why-does-my-cat-bite-me
      16. ↑ https://cats.com/why-does-my-cat-follow-me-to-the-bathroom
      17. ↑ https://www.cats.org.uk/cats-blog/why-does-my-cat-stare-at-me
      18. ↑ https://cats.com/why-do-cats-sit-on-laptops

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