This article was reviewed by John Keegan
and by wikiHow staff writer, Raven Minyard, BA
. John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources.
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Do you want to drive your man wild? While everyone is attracted to different things, there are some things that turn most men on. If you’ve been wondering what to say, do, or wear to spark desire in your boyfriend or husband, look no further. We compiled a list of turn ons for men that will leave him wanting more.
Things You Should Know
- The color red is a turn on for a lot of men. Try wearing a red dress or lingerie to grab his attention.
- Lightly brush against his hand or run your fingers through his hair to drive him wild.
- Make him feel desired by making eye contact, whispering in his ear, and initiating intimacy.
Steps
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Know yourself and what you want. Be comfortable in your own skin without worrying what other people think. When a man sees that you’re confident in yourself, your relationship, and your sexuality, he’ll be more attracted to you than he already was. [1] X Research source
- Boost your confidence by acknowledging your good qualities. Then, start looking the part by having good posture , making eye contact, and smiling .
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Show him your comedic side by sharing your best jokes. Laughing together builds an emotional connection, and your guy will appreciate someone who doesn’t take life too seriously. Seeing just how funny you are will likely spark an attraction.
- To have a good sense of humor , learn to laugh at yourself. Let go of criticism and self-doubt and focus on enjoying yourself.
- Learn what your guy finds humorous. For example, if you both have a cheesy sense of humor, tell him a punny joke !
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Let him know you’re in the mood with some dirty talk. Tell your man just what you want, and let your lips graze his ear while you’re at it. The light touch paired with your words will drive him wild.
- If you’re unsure how to talk dirty , try saying something like “I’ve been fantasizing about you all day” or “I want you so badly right now.”
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Get your man’s attention by wearing a red dress or skirt. Men’s attraction to red isn’t a coincidence; studies show that the color red is emotionally arousing. This is a subtle way to make sure he’s thinking about you. [2] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
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Don’t be afraid to tell your man how much you want him. Everyone wants to feel wanted, and he’s no exception. Be direct and compliment his appearance . Show your attraction by casually touching him throughout the day, and don’t be shy when it comes to telling him you want to be intimate. [3] X Research source
- Reader Poll: We asked 2988 wikiHow readers how they like their partner to show affection, and 52% said they enjoy cuddling, hugging, kissing, or other forms of touch. [Take Poll]
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Maintain eye contact during conversations to show interest. Intentional eye contact turns men on because it shows you’re fully engaged and interested in them. Keep looking him in the eye while taking a sip of your drink to turn him on even more! [4] X Research source
- Flirt with eye contact by giving him a coy glance and then looking away. Do this a few times to catch his attention and show him you’re interested.
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Bring some spontaneity into the bedroom to dial up the heat. Many men enjoy the element of surprise when initiating sex. If it’s been a while since you’ve been intimate or you’re just in the mood, your man will feel attractive and wanted. [5] X Research source
- Being spontaneous shows your enthusiasm for your physical relationship, and your man will likely get turned on knowing you’re as into it as he is.
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Take control in your relationship and in the bedroom. While traditional gender roles may claim it’s the man’s job to plan dates, your man will likely appreciate you taking the lead now and then. If you want something, don’t wait for him to initiate. Do it yourself! [6] X Research source
- If you’re unsure how to initiate sex , begin by complimenting your partner and giving him a sensual massage to set the mood.
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Subtly twirl your hair to get his attention. Men notice body language , and playing with your hair shows them you’re feeling flirtatious. It draws attention to your face and neck, and you might notice his demeanor change while you do it. [7] X Research source
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Flirt with your guy by playfully teasing him. Many guys enjoy a good back-and-forth battle of wits, so he’ll likely be turned on when he sees you can keep up with him. Give him a flirtatious smirk and a snarky remark and see how he reacts. [8] X Research source
- If you want to turn him on even when you’re not together, send him a witty, flirty text to ensure you’re on his mind all day.
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Ask for help with daily tasks. Sometimes, men like to feel like they’re your knight in shining armor, and there’s no shame in asking for help now and then. Let him get something off the top shelf or open a tough jar. It’ll make him feel both wanted and needed, which will likely be a big turn on. [9] X Research source
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Borrow his T-shirt or hoodie. A lot of men get turned on by their partner wearing their clothes, especially if they look oversized on you. Walk out in nothing but his shirt and your underwear and he won’t be able to take his eyes off of you. [10] X Research source
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Wear your favorite perfume or let him enjoy your natural scent. Sometimes, the way you smell is enough to turn a man on. If you know what scent your guy prefers, wear a perfume or use a body wash in that fragrance. Alternatively, forgo the products altogether and embrace your natural smell that your guy finds attractive and familiar. [11] X Research source
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If you normally wear contacts, try wearing your glasses to get his attention. A lot of men think glasses are a turn on because they’re often connected with intelligence. The next time you see him, wear your glasses and see what he thinks.
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Avoid bragging or talking about yourself too much. Confidence is key, but you don’t want to come off as cocky. Stay humble and appreciative, but don’t self-deprecate. Your guy will admire your quiet confidence. [12] X Research source
- To be modest , don’t be afraid to ask others for guidance and accept constructive criticism.
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Run your fingers through his hair and gently scratch his head. Initiating physical contact shows a man you’re attracted to him, and in turn, it will spark desire in him. A lot of men get turned on by the comforting, yet sensual feeling of a light scalp massage. Try it out the next time you’re cuddling with your man.
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Hold his hand or kiss him in public. Let everyone know how proud you are to be his partner. You don’t have to be over the top about it, but doing little things to show off your relationship in public can boost his confidence. When he sees that you’re confidently attracted to him, he’ll get turned on.
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Show off your best lingerie and let him admire your body. A lot of men are visually stimulated, so your guy will likely get turned on by seeing you in a lacy set. Plus, if you feel attractive and confident, he’ll see it through your body language and want you even more. [13] X Research source
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Spice things up with some sexy costumes. Just like sharing your fantasies, roleplaying can give your man a new sense of excitement. If you’ve ever wanted to dress up as a sexy nurse, for example, give it a shot. Roleplaying spices up your sex life and allows you both to escape from reality. [14] X Research source
- If you’re unsure how to roleplay with your partner , discuss different roles you can try out. Pretend you’re strangers, put a sexy spin on your favorite characters, or explore power dynamics as a police officer and a criminal.
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The next time he’s in the shower, jump in with him. With his consent, surprise him by offering to help him get clean. This can open the door for sex, or it can be another intimate way of spending time together. Either way, your man will be attracted to your confidence. [15] X Research source
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Give your man a playful, sexy show. Pretend he’s paying for your services and perform a seductive dance while you take off your clothes. The key is to be confident and make eye contact to really drive him crazy. [16] X Research source
- When performing a striptease , make sure you wear clothes that are easy to take off! Wear enough pieces of clothing to put on a show, but don’t wear so many layers that it gets annoying taking them off.
Tip: You can use the classic song “You Can Leave Your Hat On” by Joe Cocker as background music.
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Seeing that you’re in the mood will likely put him in the mood, too. Let him know how attracted you are with your words and body language. Knowing that he’s providing you pleasure will boost his confidence and turn him on.
- When you’re being intimate, be vocal about your pleasure. Let him know when he’s doing something right and how much you’re enjoying it. Touch him with enthusiasm to give him even more encouragement.
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If you’re comfortable, let him show his dominant side. While a lot of men appreciate a woman who isn’t afraid to take control in daily life, sometimes they want to be in charge sexually. Discuss your boundaries, then let him take the lead and enjoy yourself.
- Don’t be afraid to challenge him, though. Some men get turned on when you playfully argue with them, and he’ll also respect your ability to hold your ground. This can be applied outside of the bedroom, too.
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Share stories from your past and allow your man to see the real you. A lot of men need an emotional connection to feel aroused, so share your feelings, desires, and fears. Let him see the good and the bad, and he’ll do the same for you. You’ll understand each other better, and he’ll be even more attracted to you. [17] X Research source
- If you struggle with being vulnerable in relationships , be honest with yourself and list the reasons you’re afraid of opening up . Once you know what bothers you, you can begin overcoming those fears . Maybe your first step is telling your partner you struggle with vulnerability.
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Enjoy a lazy morning snuggled up together. Most men enjoy and appreciate physical touch, so show him your affection by staying wrapped in his arms . Let him know there’s nowhere else you’d rather be. [18] X Research source
- A lot of men like to feel nurtured, so try letting him be the little spoon so he can enjoy all your love and warmth.
- This is also a great time to have deep conversations and ask him questions. Your man will feel valued as a person and will likely be even more attracted to you.
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Show off your legs with a pair of stilettos. Wearing high heels elongates your legs and draws attention to their shape. Pair them with a short dress, skirt, or even lingerie to really turn your guy on. [19] X Research source
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By sitting on his lap, you give him control of the situation. This is sometimes interpreted as a subconscious sign of submission, as you’re putting yourself in a vulnerable position. Sitting on him is more intimate than sitting next to him, and he can choose whether to turn the situation sexual. [20] X Research source
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Don’t be someone you’re not just to impress him. If you don’t like lingerie or you’re not comfortable with dirty talk, don’t force yourself to do it just to turn him on. Remember, he likes you for who you are, and there are plenty of things you do naturally that make him attracted to you.
- Setting boundaries helps you be authentic in your relationships. Let your partner know what you are and aren’t comfortable with, and tell him if any of those boundaries change.
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References
- ↑ https://hernorm.com/what-turns-guys-on/
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4413730/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/all-about-sex/202104/what-really-turns-men-on
- ↑ https://hernorm.com/what-turns-guys-on/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/all-about-sex/202104/what-really-turns-men-on
- ↑ https://www.doctorforlove.com/biggest-turn-ons-for-guys/
- ↑ https://www.doctorforlove.com/biggest-turn-ons-for-guys/
- ↑ https://www.doctorforlove.com/biggest-turn-ons-for-guys/
- ↑ https://www.doctorforlove.com/biggest-turn-ons-for-guys/
- ↑ https://www.doctorforlove.com/biggest-turn-ons-for-guys/
- ↑ https://www.doctorforlove.com/biggest-turn-ons-for-guys/
- ↑ https://www.doctorforlove.com/biggest-turn-ons-for-guys/
- ↑ https://hernorm.com/what-turns-guys-on/
- ↑ https://hernorm.com/what-turns-guys-on/
- ↑ https://hernorm.com/what-turns-guys-on/
- ↑ https://hernorm.com/what-turns-guys-on/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/all-about-sex/202104/what-really-turns-men-on
- ↑ https://www.doctorforlove.com/biggest-turn-ons-for-guys/
- ↑ https://hernorm.com/what-turns-guys-on/
- ↑ https://hernorm.com/what-turns-guys-on/