1. Don’t describe action in too much detail. You should provide a basic sense of what is happening on screen, but leave it to the director to fill in the more specific details. Original What’s wrong Improved Marla bursts through the door of the cafe. She immediately turns to her left and heads over to the hostess stand. A waitress arrives to greet her, but Marla ignores her and instead turns around to address the entire room. * Specific directions such as “turns to her left” are something a director would finalize on set. * Includes characters (a waitress) or objects (hostess stand) that are not essential to the scene. Marla bursts through the door. She ignores the concerned staff and instead addresses the entire room. 2. Don’t use overly fancy or convoluted writing. Show, don’t tell. Engage your audience by creating interesting and complicated characters and storylines. It might be tempting to have a character “explain” what’s going on through exposition, but in real life people don’t speak or act like this. Original What’s wrong Improved “I know that everyone in this town thinks I overreact to things and make mountains out of molehills, but this time I promise I’m telling the truth!” Avoid unnecessary exposition (“everyone thinks I overreact to things”). “You people never believe me! Well, this time you’ll be sorry.” 3. Don’t mix styles of speech and vocabulary. Maintain your style. Your script will most likely be set in a particular time period and/or setting, so make sure that your characters speak and act in a way that is appropriate to their surroundings. Original What’s wrong Improved - Say, I really must be going now. - Okay, would you like for me to escort you? For the most part, the dialogue sounds formal and as though it takes place during an earlier time period. “Okay” is more modern and seems out of place in this setting. - Say, I really must be going now. - Very well. Would you like for me to escort you? OR - I really have to go now. - Okay, want me to walk with you?