How to Date a Guy

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Sometimes it can seem like guys are from another planet. You may find yourself wondering just what in the world he’s thinking and what you can do to make your relationship a happy and healthy one. Fortunately, building a strong relationship isn’t rocket science. To help you out, we’ve answered a few common questions about what it takes to make your dating life more successful.

Question 1 of 8:

What do guys expect on the first date?

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  1. Use your first date to get to know the guy and to let him get to know a little bit about yourself. Be confident and talk about your job, your interests, hobbies, passions, or whatever else comes up. Be honest, too. Don’t try to be mysterious or keep him in the dark or he may think that you aren’t interested in him. [1]
    • You don’t have to tell him everything about your life, but if you’re interested in getting to know him, you should also let him know things about you, too.
    • It’s totally normal to feel nervous ahead of your first date with a guy. But once the conversation gets rolling, if there’s a real connection, you won’t feel so worried.
  2. Really, asking questions is a great strategy all around. It shows him that you’re interested in him and that you’re listening to what he says. It also gives you a chance to learn more about him and keep the conversation going. When in doubt, ask a question! [2]
    • Try to keep your questions related to him. Ask about his job, his friends, his family, what he likes to eat, and so on.
    • People love to talk about themselves, and there won’t be any awkward silences during your date.
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  3. Guys want to feel like you enjoy being around them. Try to be as friendly as you can when you meet him. Throughout the date, respond to what he says and act interested. Remember, first dates can sometimes be awkward and a little uncomfortable. But by being kind and friendly, you can show him that you’re interested. [3]
    • Also, if you don’t think you want a second date, being friendly can help you survive the first date more easily.
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Question 2 of 8:

What do you do when you start dating a guy?

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  1. Maintain a meaningful emotional connection by fulfilling his emotional needs. Show him that you care about his feelings. Ask him how their day went or if anything is bothering them. If you do disagree about something, it’s okay! Just make sure you do it respectfully and resolve any conflicts without insults or humiliation. [4]
    • Don’t stress about it too much. Just by being there for him, you’re showing him that you care about him.
  2. While you do want your guy to give you time and attention, it’s also important that you let him live his own life. Don’t make him choose between you and their friends. Allow him to do the things he likes to do. If he doesn’t feel like you’re taking things away from him, he’ll feel happier in your relationship. [5]
    • For instance, if your guy likes to golf or go to the gym, let him! It may mean some time away from you, but in the end, he’ll be happier and your relationship will benefit from it.
    • Giving him his space doesn’t mean you need to condone unhealthy or hurtful behavior. If he’s doing something that bothers or hurts you, tell him how you feel about it.
  3. Communication is key to a healthy and happy relationship. Vocalize things that you want so he isn’t confused. Tell him what you like and what you don’t like. He can’t give you what you want if he doesn’t know what it is! [6]
    • Your partner can’t read your mind. If you want flowers or a date night, tell him. If you want to try something new in the bedroom, tell him. If something is bothering you, tell him!
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Question 3 of 8:

What does dating mean to a guy?

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  1. When 2 people are dating, they’re basically assessing the other person to try to figure out if they’re “the one” that’s worth a long-term commitment or possibly even marriage. Dating essentially boils down to one thing—do I want to be with this person? [7]
    • How guys view dating can vary a bit depending on their personalities. Some guys may have difficulty opening up about their feelings while others may be ready to commit from the get-go.
    • If you’re worried that the guy you’re dating may have different views about your relationship, try talking to him about it. Honest communication can be a great way to make sure you’re both on the same page.
Question 4 of 8:

How many dates does it take for a guy to like you?

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  1. The first date is mostly just getting to know each other. If you’re going on a 2nd and 3rd date with a guy, it means he’s starting to get to like you more and more. If he’s asking for a 4th date, it’s a clear sign that he’s into you and may want a relationship with you. [8]
    • He wouldn’t keep seeing you if he doesn’t like you! Don’t worry so much about how many dates you’ve been on with him. If he keeps wanting to be with you, he definitely likes you.
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Question 5 of 8:

What are the stages of a new relationship?

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  1. Maybe you met at a party, online, or through some friends. The initial attraction can be largely physical and can develop into a full-blown infatuation with each other. Usually, this stage lasts about 3-4 months before you may be asking yourself whether or not they’re right for a long-term relationship. [9]
    • In this stage, you may be more willing to overlook any differences or traits that you may not desire for a committed relationship. For instance, it may not bother you that your new guy spends so much time going out with his friends, but you may start to question it as the relationship progresses.
    EXPERT TIP

    John Keegan

    Dating Coach
    John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
    John Keegan
    Dating Coach

    Challenge yourself to build genuine connections through in-person interactions. Dating apps and social media can create a false sense of social fulfillment. Instead of spending time on superficial online interactions, try initiating meaningful conversations or meet in person with someone to build a deeper connection.

  2. After a few months, if you’re both still into each other, you may choose to be an exclusive couple. During this stage, you can start asking each other questions about the future and what you want out of the relationship. You’ll also learn to trust each other and learn more about each other’s desires and needs. You may also start to notice each other’s flaws and either complain or work together to resolve them. [10]
    • It’s important to make sure you’re both on the same page about what your relationship means. If he’s not interested in commitment but you are, you definitely want to discuss it so neither of you gets hurt.
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Question 6 of 8:

How can I date online successfully?

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  1. In the bio or profile description of your dating profile, make about ¾ of the info you provide about yourself. List facts about yourself, your interests, and your hobbies. The other ¼ can be about what you’re looking for. That way, any guy that sees your profile will have a clear idea of who you are and what you want. [11]
    • For instance, you could say something like, “I’m a nurse so I work a lot, but I enjoy watching cheesy horror movies and horseback riding in my free time. I”m looking for a guy I can have some fun with.”
  2. Take a few shots from different angles and take a look through them to find one that looks nice. Choose a good-looking photo so any guys that come across your profile see a flattering, but realistic image of what you look like. [12]
    • It’s totally normal to feel a little awkward or self-conscious taking and choosing photos of yourself. But the guys checking out your profile won’t know that you’re nervous. They’ll just see you!
  3. Don’t wait for guys to make the first move or send you a message. If you see a guy’s online profile that you like, send him a message! Start up a conversation with him and see where it goes. It could lead to a great exchange that may turn into a date. [13]
    • If you’re using a dating service like eHarmony or Tinder, when you message the guys that you like, the algorithm will suggest similar guys. So it’s important that you’re active!
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Question 7 of 8:

How should I act when dating an older man?

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  1. You don’t have to tell him that you want to get married or anything, but you should still have a clear idea of what he wants to get out of the relationship. Talk to him about what he wants so you can see if it lines up with what you want. [14]
    • If he’s not looking for commitment, but you are, you may want to either adjust your expectations or move on to a guy that shares your vision.
    • Honesty and open communication are important in any relationship. If you’re about something, talk to him about it.
  2. Because he’s older, there will likely be times where he won’t know a song or a reference that you make, and vice versa. Don’t make a big deal out of it or make fun of him for being older. He may not like it, and it could hurt your relationship. [15]
    • For instance, if he makes a reference to an older movie that you’ve never seen, don’t say something like, “Oh, that came out while I was in middle school!”
    • That doesn’t mean you should feel nervous about joking around with him about his age. Just try to keep things fun and lighthearted and he’ll appreciate your sense of humor.
  3. Just because he’s older doesn’t mean he’s not interested in the things you like to do. Don’t change your personality because you think he’ll like you more. Instead, keep doing the things that you like to do and let him be involved in them. He’ll love being included and it’ll likely make him want to get to know you even more. [16]
    • For instance, if you like to go workout on the weekends, ask him to join you sometime. He may really enjoy seeing a different side of you.
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Question 8 of 8:

What do guys really want in a relationship?

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  1. Even though they can sometimes act aloof or unemotional, guys have emotional needs, too. They want to feel loved just as you do. They also want a partner who celebrates their successes and supports them when they’re struggling. Be there for him and he’ll love you for it. [17]
    • Your guy may also have specific things that he wants and needs in a relationship. Try talking to him about it. Ask him what would make him happy. You don’t have to try to guess—just ask!
  2. Contrary to what you may think, guys want more than just sex. Your guy wants to feel like his emotional needs are being met, too. Sure, a physical connection is a good (and fun) thing, but it’s also important that you talk to him about his thoughts and feelings so you can develop an emotional bond that will make your relationship even stronger. [18]
  3. Allow him to have his own things that don’t involve you, such as hobbies or spending time with his buddies. You can have your own independent interests, too. In fact, it’s great for your relationship if you’re both able to trust each other to have your own space. [19]
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Get More Dates with this Expert Series for Women

Dating is hard. We’ve put together this series of expert articles to help you get more dates, go on better dates, and ultimately find your person.
1
Be an Attractive Woman
2
Seduce a Man
3
16 First Date Tips to Help You Make a Good Impression
4
11 Clear Signs He Likes You After Your First Date
5
Tell Someone You Don't Want to Go on Another Date
6
How to Go From Casual Dating to Being In an Exclusive Relationship

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  • Question
    How do you know a guy likes you?
    Drew Hawkins1
    Community Answer
    The simplest and most effective way to find out if a guys likes you is to ask him! But, if you're nervous or shy, you there are other ways you can try to figure out if he does. Try asking his friends if he likes you. They may let you know how he feels. You can also look for clues. Does he flirt with you or like to spend a lot of time around you? If so, it could be because he likes you.
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  • Question
    Can you go on dates with other guys while dating?
    Drew Hawkins1
    Community Answer
    If you're in a committed relationship with your partner, then going on dates with other guys will hurt their feelings and may ruin your relationship. If you're interested in seeing other guys, you may want to consider breaking up with your partner or at least talking to them to try to work through any issues that you're having.
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    M boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months, and I really love him, but I don't want to have sex yet. He doesn't like that idea, and he's always complaining about it. What can I do?
    Drew Hawkins1
    Community Answer
    If you both have different views and ideas about what you want your relationship to be, you need to talk about it together to try to work through them. Tell him exactly how you feel about it and what you want. If he's unwilling to accept it, then you may want to consider moving on to someone who does.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/g2385/first-date-tips-from-guys/?slide=1
      2. ↑ https://www.thecut.com/article/the-best-dating-and-relationship-advice.html
      3. ↑ https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/g19988460/life-changing-dating-tips/?slide=7
      4. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/tips-for-finding-lasting-love.htm
      5. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/tips-for-finding-lasting-love.htm
      6. ↑ https://www.thecut.com/article/the-best-dating-and-relationship-advice.html
      7. ↑ https://www.bonobology.com/what-does-dating-mean-for-a-man/
      8. ↑ https://www.glamour.com/story/is-he-really-interested-into-you
      9. ↑ https://www.mentalhelp.net/blogs/the-4-stages-of-dating-relationships/
      1. ↑ https://www.mentalhelp.net/blogs/the-4-stages-of-dating-relationships/
      2. ↑ https://www.oprahmag.com/life/relationships-love/a25776713/guide-to-online-dating/
      3. ↑ https://www.oprahmag.com/life/relationships-love/a25776713/guide-to-online-dating/
      4. ↑ https://www.oprahmag.com/life/relationships-love/a25776713/guide-to-online-dating/
      5. ↑ https://www.oprahmag.com/life/relationships-love/a28859888/dating-an-older-man/
      6. ↑ https://www.glamour.com/story/the-dos-and-donts-of-dating-an
      7. ↑ https://medium.com/@Loulabelle_1984/top-tips-for-dating-an-older-man-807eb47f0781
      8. ↑ https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/7-things-men-want-in-a-relationship-jgc/
      9. ↑ https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/7-things-men-want-in-a-relationship-jgc/
      10. ↑ https://angrytherapist.medium.com/8-things-men-really-really-want-in-a-relationship-4b2f153d870b

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