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Plus, the best ways to reply politely
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There are many different ways to greet a friend you haven’t seen for a while. It probably feels very natural to start with, “Hey! How are you?” However, are there more creative or interesting ways to engage someone? Yes, there are! If you’re tired of the same old conversation-starters, keep reading for a comprehensive list of new, fun ways to get your friends talking.
Steps
Section 1 of 3:
Casual “How Are You?” Alternatives for Friends & Family
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“How have you been?” Although this greeting is often thrown around casually, it can also be very personal, suggesting a lengthy backstory between two people. Asking how someone has been recently suggests that you have some level of context as to how they’ve been in the past, hinting at safe and trustworthy lifelong friendships.
- “How have you been?”
“Fine, thanks!”
- “How have you been?”
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2“What's up?” This popular expression can be traced back to the early 1800s. In its earliest form, it was used in literature to convey that a problem had arisen, AKA, something was “up.” It later became widely known as Bugs Bunny’s favorite saying, and other iterations of the phrase were born, including “whassup” and “whaddup.” [1] X Research source
- “What's up?”
“Not much, how about you?”
Advertisement - “What's up?”
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3“How's it hanging?” Some speculate that the origin of this phrase may have to do with male genitalia, but in modern day, it’s synonymous with “How are you?” This is a highly informal way of speaking to someone, so make sure you’re not addressing your boss on a Monday morning using this expression! [2] X Research source
- “How's it hanging?”
“All good here, and you?”
- “How's it hanging?”
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4“What have you been up to?” This is a very specific yet low-stakes way to ask for concrete details about someone’s life. Short of explicitly asking direct questions (“How’s your relationship going? Did you get that promotion? How’s your health these days?”), you can instead ask more generally and allow them to fill in the blanks.
- “What have you been up to?”
“Just been working and traveling a lot!”
- “What have you been up to?”
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5“Are you okay?” Ask more directly if you’re concerned about someone. Inquiring specifically about someone’s well-being can come off as a bit intense, so this is not how you want to greet everyone, especially if you’re not close to them in some way. Expressing immediate concern should be reserved for people whom you genuinely care about and who you know won’t take offense or assume you’re trying to pry.
- “Are you okay?”
“I’m okay, thank you for asking.”
- “Are you okay?”
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6“What's new with you?” Asking if anything is new with someone implies that you were privy to what had been going on with them in the past, establishing some kind of history and connection. This lighthearted greeting strikes the perfect balance between politeness, informality, and genuine interest— multipurpose!
- “What's new with you?”
“Well, I’m single again, so there’s that!”
- “What's new with you?”
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7“What have you been up to since we last spoke?” This greeting is relatively more personal and specific than “What have you been up to?” This expression gives the other person a certain timeline that they’re inquiring about and allows them to engage more actively with present and pertinent events. [3] X Research source
- “What have you been up to since we last spoke?”
“I’ve mostly been spending time with family.”
- “What have you been up to since we last spoke?”
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8“What's going on?” This method of greeting someone is very hip and avoids engaging emotionally. This is the cool, detached way of connecting with someone, offering a very low-stakes gateway to conversation. People who open with this are likely asking more about someone’s general vibe instead of how they’re truly feeling.
- “What's going on?”
“Not a whole lot, just hanging out!”
- “What's going on?”
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9“Have you been alright?” Inquire directly if you suspect that they’re struggling. This question can go one of two ways: really casual or really serious. If asked in passing, it’s more than likely synonymous with, “How’s it going?” But if asked privately, with additional context, it could be used to express sincere concern about someone’s situation. [4] X Research source
- “Have you been alright?”
“Yes, I’ve been good, thank you.”
- “Have you been alright?”
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10“How’s life?” This is a straightforward, no-frills way of letting someone know you’re interested in how they’re doing overall. This two-word greeting conveys interest in a quick and easy manner, allowing the other person to answer any way they like, without putting too much pressure on them. [5] X Research source
- “How’s life?”
“Busy, but I can’t complain!”
- “How’s life?”
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11“How’s life been treating you?” Asking this is a bit more personal and specific than its simpler counterpart: “How’s life?” The word “treat” implies the belief that life is intentional in handing out consequences for all of our actions, and asking further suggests genuine interest in the other person’s journey. Hopefully, the answer is “well” more often than not.
- “How’s life been treating you?”
“Well, thanks!”
- “How’s life been treating you?”
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12“What’s been on your mind lately?” Tailor your question to any thoughts, ideas, or struggles they’ve been facing. This greeting is deeply specific, so it should only come from someone who is actually invested in their friend or loved one’s life. They should be using this expression to offer a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on, should the other person need it.
- “What’s been on your mind lately?”
“Well, I’ve been thinking about going back to school.”
- “What’s been on your mind lately?”
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13“What’s shaking?” Utilize this trendy expression to let them know you care. Although nothing may be actually shaking, this is still a fun alternative to “How are you?” Use it to check up on your friends via text, on social media, or upon meeting up with a group. It’s probably for the best that you don’t say this to your boss on a Monday morning, though.
- “What’s shaking?”
“Hey— not much, just relaxing!”
- “What’s shaking?”
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14“How have you been feeling?” Address their feelings when you ask about their well-being. If a friend has been feeling down and out, reaching out to them using this greeting makes sense. When you lead with empathy, it opens the door for them to confide in you, answering your genuine question with sincerity and vulnerability.
- “How have you been feeling?”
“I’ve been better, but hanging in there.”
- “How have you been feeling?”
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15“How are you holding up?” Inquire seriously if you know they’ve been healing from something. Asking how someone is holding up heavily implies that something has been bringing them down, adding context and history to the relationship. This question is best reserved for emotionally aware and intelligent relationships, where the other person feels safe enough around you to answer. [6] X Research source
- “How are you holding up?”
“I’m doing just fine!”
- “How are you holding up?”
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Section 2 of 3:
Professional “How Are You?” Alternatives for Colleagues
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“How are you doing?” This tried-and-true greeting is a subtle variation of the classic, “How are you?” Adding “doing” at the end adds casualness with a dash of levity, resulting in a more lighthearted approach that doesn’t immediately demand to know how the person is on a deep, emotional level. [7] X Research source
- Email example:
- “Hi John,
How are you doing? I’m writing to see if you’ve gotten to review my report yet.”
- “Hi John,
- Email example:
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2“Is everything going well with you?” Assume that they’re doing well, but remain open to their response. This greeting can be used in the office without fear of offense and it works across differing relationships and dynamics. For example, you could ask a colleague who’s working on the same project as you if “everything is going well.” Similarly, your boss could also ask you as a means of checking in.
- Email example:
- “Dear Melinda,
Is everything going well with you? I wanted to check in about next week’s presentation.”
- “Dear Melinda,
- Email example:
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3“Is there anything you’d like to discuss?” Open up the floor for questions. Let your team know that you’re there for them, professionally speaking. Maybe you realize that a co-worker isn’t as confident about a certain aspect of your project as they may have led on, or perhaps you’ve learned that they are nervous about an upcoming promotion. This variation of “how are you” establishes mutual trust, interest, and professionalism. [8] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source
- Email example:
- “Robert,
I hope you’re well. Is there anything you’d like to discuss? I have a few questions about the department memo.”
- “Robert,
- Email example:
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4“How have things been going with [project name]?” Mention specific details that you’re inquiring about. In the workplace, it’s generally a good rule of thumb to keep your conversations on task. If you’re in a supervisor role or are simply curious about a project or venture, ask the project lead how it’s going using this precise and professional expression.
- Email example:
- “Hello, Stacy!
How have things been going with the quarterly report? Just checking in to make sure we’re still on track.”
- “Hello, Stacy!
- Email example:
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5“Is everything going well?” Practice communication in the workplace. If you sense that a co-worker is encountering issues, feel free to ask while assuming a positive position. Asking if everything is “well” allows the other person to either confirm that it is or explain why it’s not. Either way, you’ll certainly have more insight into their situation!
- Email example:
- “Good morning,
Is everything going well? I wanted to make sure you’re adjusting to your first week at the office!”
- “Good morning,
- Email example:
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6“Do you need any support from me?” Use this approach to make yourself available professionally. If you lead with this question in the workplace, make sure you’re ready to provide the support you offered. This can come in the form of guidance, resources, or editing, and promotes an empathetic approach to problem-solving and collaboration. [9] X Research source
- Email example:
- “Happy Monday, Rebecca!
Do you need any support from me? I know this time of year is tough in the nonprofit world.”
- “Happy Monday, Rebecca!
- Email example:
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7“How are you managing your workload?” Let them know that you care about their work-life balance. This extended version of “how are you” is ideal for the workplace, as it offers empathy and support but limits it to their workload. Unless your co-worker misunderstands “workload” to mean “nasty divorce,” they should reply appropriately in turn.
- Email example:
- “Bill,
How are you managing your workload? Let me know if there are any adjustments I can make. Thanks!”
- “Bill,
- Email example:
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References
- ↑ https://www.dictionary.com/e/slang/whats-up/
- ↑ https://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/hows-it-hanging
- ↑ https://kacinicole.com/2018/11/10/3-creative-ways-to-stay-connected-with-long-distance-friends/
- ↑ https://weshouldgettogether.com/blog/how-are-you-alternatives
- ↑ https://www.oxbridgeediting.co.uk/blog/9-ways-to-ask-how-are-you-that-everyone-will-love/
- ↑ https://blog.authenticjourneys.info/2020/04/how-are-you-holding-up.html
- ↑ https://tandem.net/blog/20-greetings-in-english
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2019/02/the-surprising-power-of-simply-asking-coworkers-how-theyre-doing
- ↑ https://pumble.com/blog/ask-for-help-professionally/
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