How to Address Wedding Invitations to a Family

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There are a number of potential etiquette rules to follow when addressing wedding invitations to a family. If you are using double envelopes, then remember to stay more formal with the outer one. The inner one is where you can address invitees more personally. Include as much information as you can on the outer envelope, including full honorifics and even middle names. Children’s names will usually go on the inner envelope, unless they are not invited. At the end of the day, choose the etiquette rules that work the best for you. After all, it is your special day!

Writing Names on a Wedding Invitation to Family

Write the parents’ full names on the outer envelope, addressing them as “Mr.” or “Mrs.” On the inner envelope, list the first names of the children and address the girls as “Miss.

Sample Ways to Address Invitations

Method 1
Method 1 of 4:

Managing Double Envelopes

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  1. 1
    Decide whether to do double-envelopes. If you are planning a more informal affair, it’s okay to go with just one outer envelope. That way your invitees with open the envelope and see your invitation right away. If you prefer formality and tradition, opt for the double-envelope method. This means that your invitees will need to open two separate envelopes before seeing the event details.
    • You can also consider the quality of the paper that you plan to use for your invitations. If the paper is high-quality and thicker, then a second envelope may not be necessary. And, it could add to the postage cost as well.
  2. If you go with the two envelope style, then you’ll want to be consistently more formal with the outer ones and more casual with the inner ones. The outer envelope will contain titles and complete names. In contrast, the inner envelope can be addressed with simple first names and without accompanying titles. [1]
    • If you don’t know the invitee that well, it’s still okay to lean toward the more formal and include their full name on the inner envelope.
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  3. The outer envelope is generally considered more formal than the inner one. For that reason, you’ll want to use the full names of your invitees, not their simple initials. For the return and mailing addresses, spell out the full city and state names. Do the same thing with street locations. [2]
    • For example, in the addresses, you should put “Lane” instead of “Ln.”
    • Try to include your invitees’ middle names. However, if you don’t have it, go with the initial or just use the first and last name.
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Method 2
Method 2 of 4:

Deciding on Manners of Address

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  1. and Mrs. for a married couple on the outer envelope. You can refer to both members of the couple by “Mr. and Mrs.” followed by the husband’s full name. However, this strikes some people as no longer appropriate for today’s society. You could also refer to a couple as “Mr. John and Mrs. Emily Perkins.” [3]
    • For the inner envelope, go ahead and shorten your greeting to, “John and Emily” or “John and Emily Perkins.”
  2. If you are inviting a married couple who go by their own last names, then the person who you feel closest to gets the first spot. If you are equally close to both people, then arrange them according to alphabetical order. [4]
    • For example, the outer envelope might look like, “Mr. Mike Smith and Mrs. Samantha Wise.”
  3. The closeness rule also applies if you are sending an invite to an unmarried couple, except you use 2 lines. The first line is reserved for the person who you know best. The second line is for their partner. [5]
    • For example, the first line on the outer envelope might read, “Ms. Amanda Jones.” The second line might read, “Mr. Michael Adams.”
  4. Reach out to a family member of the widow and ask if she prefers to use her first name followed by her married last name or her husband’s full name for events. If you can’t get this information or are unsure, go with her full name, just to be careful. [6]
    • For example, the outer envelope might state, “Mrs. Nancy Stevens,” or, with the husband’s full name, “Mrs. Charles Stevens.” For the inner envelope, shorten it to, “Mrs. Stevens,” or “Nancy.”
  5. None of the rules really change if you are inviting a same-sex couple. If they are married, then both names should appear on the same line. If they are living together but unmarried, then go with separate lines. [7]
  6. On the outer envelope, spell out the full “Doctors” before you list both of the names together. On the inner envelope, you can go with the “Dr.” abbreviation. Or, you can simply state “Doctors” and their last name. [8]
    • For example, the outer envelope will state, “Doctor Anne and Peter Thompson.” The inner envelope can show, “Doctors Thompson.”
  7. Some titles are quite long, but formality on the outer envelope requires that you list them in full. It’s okay to continue on to the line below if you need the space to write everything out. This usually isn’t an issue in the inner envelope since abbreviations are okay. [9]
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Method 3
Method 3 of 4:

Inviting Children

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  1. Kids’ names are not required on the outer envelope. However, for the inner one, list out the invited children on the second line in order of age. If you like, you can add “Miss” before each girl’s name. The under 18 boys have no parallel title. [10]
    • For example, the second line of the inner envelope might look like, “Michael, Miss Rebecca, and Steven.”
  2. For adult children living on their own or with their parents, send them a separate invitation. [11] Use their full formal name on the outer envelope and the honorific “Mr.” or “Ms.” and their last name on the inner envelope. [12]
  3. If you don’t list the children on the inner envelope, your guests should understand that they are not invited. However, be warned that not everyone follows this idea and some people may incorrectly assume that their children are invited to the wedding. [13]
    • Mention that children are not invited on your wedding website. Include your reason if you think it will help parents' understand. You might say, "We regret that we cannot invite children to the ceremony or reception, as the venue will not accommodate them."
    • Follow up with families that may not have gotten the memo to make sure that they understand.
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Method 4
Method 4 of 4:

Following Good Invitation Practices

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  1. If you are sending out the invitations yourself, be warned that they may take a good amount of time to address, put together, and prepare for mailing. Set aside a few chunks of time where you will be able to devote your entire attention to this project. [14]
  2. It’s best to use 1 address on both the return and RSVP areas. Otherwise, your guests may get confused and could send their RSVPs to the wrong spot. This should be an address that you check regularly. [15]
  3. The inner envelope should remain unsealed and you should position it so that the flat side faces towards the flap of the outer envelope. Place the invitation so that the text faces the flap of the inner envelope. You want the invitee to open the inner envelope and instantly see the invite. [16]
  4. Before you put stamps on all of your invites, go to the post office and place a single completed invite on the postage scale. You’ll see if you need extra postage in order to ensure that your invites will get to their destinations. [17]
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How Do You Say “No Kids” At a Wedding?


Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How do I invite a whole family to my wedding?
    Ivy Summer
    Certified Wedding & Event Planner
    Ivy Summer is a Certified Wedding Planner and the Owner of Voulez Events. Ivy has over 10 years of experience consulting, planning and coordinating weddings around the globe. She has also created a DIY online wedding planning workshop for couples, called "Plan Your Wedding Like A Pro." She currently resides in Greece where she continues to work with a worldwide network of planners and wedding professionals.
    Ivy Summer
    Certified Wedding & Event Planner
    Expert Answer
    Usually you'll want to address the head of the household. You'll also address one invitation per household, but if there are any children over the age of 18 living at home who are invited to the wedding, they should get their own invitation.
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  • Question
    If I'm inviting some uncles and aunts, do I have to invite all of them?
    Community Answer
    It is your wedding, invite whomever you want. Some family members may get upset because they felt they were close enough to you to warrant an invitation, but this is your day, so invite who you want and omit the invitations for those you'd probably regret inviting.
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  • Question
    How do I address a person when they are Jr.?
    Community Answer
    Simply write Jr. after the name. That is all you have to do.
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      Tips

      • If you are addressing your own invitations, go ahead and order a few extra envelopes in case you make a few lettering mistakes.
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      Warnings

      • It’s a good idea to send out invitations at least 6-8 weeks before the wedding. This gives your guests ample time to respond and put your wedding on their calendar. [18]
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.theknot.com/content/addressing-wedding-invitations
      2. ↑ https://www.southernliving.com/weddings/how-to-address-wedding-invitations#basics-how-to-address-wedding-invitations
      3. ↑ https://www.theknot.com/content/addressing-wedding-invitations
      4. ↑ https://www.theknot.com/content/addressing-wedding-invitations
      5. ↑ https://www.southernliving.com/weddings/how-to-address-wedding-invitations#unmarried-couple-addressing-wedding-invitations
      6. ↑ https://www.brides.com/story/how-to-address-your-wedding-invitations
      7. ↑ https://www.theknot.com/content/addressing-wedding-invitations
      8. ↑ https://www.theknot.com/content/addressing-wedding-invitations
      9. ↑ https://www.theknot.com/content/addressing-wedding-invitations
      1. ↑ https://www.theknot.com/content/addressing-wedding-invitations
      2. ↑ Ivy Summer. Certified Wedding & Event Planner. Expert Interview. 9 February 2021.
      3. ↑ https://www.theknot.com/content/addressing-wedding-invitations
      4. ↑ https://www.theknot.com/content/addressing-wedding-invitations
      5. ↑ https://emilypost.com/advice/addressing-and-sending-wedding-invitations
      6. ↑ https://emilypost.com/advice/addressing-and-sending-wedding-invitations
      7. ↑ https://emilypost.com/advice/addressing-and-sending-wedding-invitations
      8. ↑ https://emilypost.com/advice/addressing-and-sending-wedding-invitations
      9. ↑ https://apracticalwedding.com/wedding-invitation-etiquette/

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      When you’re addressing a wedding invitation to a family, use the adults' titles, like “Mr and Mrs Smith” on the envelope. You can then use their first names on the invitation. If the couple aren't married, name the person you know best first. If you’re inviting children under 18, you only need to name them on the invitation. If you’re not inviting the children, just don’t name them on the envelope or the invitation. To make it clear, mention on your wedding website that children aren’t invited. For example, write, “We regret that we cannot invite children to the ceremony or reception as the venue will not accommodate them.” For a sample wedding invitation, read on!

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