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It can be difficult to admit to someone that you are into them because of the risk of embarrassment or rejection. It can also make you feel a little out of control when you give someone that kind of information about your emotions and you don’t know what their reaction will be. But with a little practice and planning, you can tell someone you like them and feel confident that you’ll be okay no matter how it turns out.
Steps
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Be confident. When you tell someone how you feel, it is important to show confidence. If you are timid and unsure, how will that make your crush feel? He or she will not want to be with someone who seems unsure.
- Smiling is one of the easiest ways to broadcast confidence. A relaxed, natural smile shows others that you are sure of yourself and will impress them.
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Stay calm. Don't panic when you admit your feelings. This can be a very stressful situation and it is easy to lose your cool, but you must remain calm during the whole conversation. If you panic and seem nervous, it will not help your case at all. [1] X Research source
- If you start to feel like you are panicking, try focusing on your breathing. Take deep breaths and calm down. Or pretend like you are talking to an old friend, not someone you like. This will make it easier to talk to them.
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Keep it simple. Let them know how you feel about them, but do not go over the top and act like they are the most important thing in the world. Let them know what is going on and why is it that you feel that way about them. Avoid discussing any huge relationship commitments, as it may make your partner feel uncomfortable or uneasy.
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Ease into it. Do not just jump into that subject right away. Start off talking about something that happened that day, and work your way up to talking about your feelings. This will give your crush some time so that they won’t be surprised or caught off guard when you tell them how you feel. [2] X Research source
- Try talking about something cute or funny to make you more comfortable with the conversation initially. Tell your crush about a funny thing your brother did or talk about a new movie you really want to see.
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Say the words. Tell your crush that you like them. Just say it. It might be intimidating, but they’ll never know if you don’t tell them. Be brave and tell them how you feel.
- Try something like, “I’ve been thinking about you a lot and I want you to know that I like you.”
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Don’t pressure them. Make sure you tell the person you like that you don’t expect anything in return – you just wanted to tell them how you feel. That way they can have some time to think about what you said without feeling pressured to respond right away.
- When you're done expressing yourself don't ask, "So, how do you feel about me?" It is up to them when and if they are willing to let you know. If they say no, then accept their answer and move forward. Say how you really feel, but don't throw a tantrum.
- If they say they like you too, that’s great. But don’t make them feel like they owe you a response right away.
- If they say yes, then you could ask them out. But if you're younger, you should just be friends.
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Quiz
wikiHow Quiz: Do I Have a Crush?
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Choose an appropriate time. There are many things that can go wrong when you expose your feelings to another person. So, take some time considering how and when you’ll do it beforehand to minimize these negative possibilities. [3] X Research source
- Choose a time when the person is alone. This is a private matter between the two of you and you should be alone when it happens. You don’t want the object of your affection to have to think about how to react in front of other people in addition to handling the news you just told them.
- Consider your crush’s schedule too. Don’t tell them how you feel at a time when they are busy and stressed. This might overwhelm them even more and make them respond in a more negative way than they otherwise would.
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Pick an appropriate location. Try to choose an intimate setting, a place where both of you are comfortable. [4] X Expert Source Connell Barrett
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 24 September 2019. You want your crush to feel at ease when you admit that you like them. Choosing a place that you both enjoy and feel comfortable in can make all the difference in how someone will receive news like this.- Try telling them in the peaceful park near your house or when you are both alone in your car.
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Do it in person. If possible, don’t tell them in a text or over the phone. [5] X Expert Source Connell Barrett
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 24 September 2019. Maintain eye contact while you are talking to him/her and tell them how you feel. Doing it in person is more meaningful, but it will also let you gauge their reaction because you’ll be there to see it. [6] X Research source- However, if either of you are the nervous type that might stutter or get sweaty, sending a text or writing a note might be a better option. That way you can think about what you want to say before you actually say it. But keep in mind that texting should be used as a last resort to tell someone how you feel.
- If you must send a text, try something like, “Hey, I like you. Want to hang out some time?” [7] X Research source
- Don’t ask someone else to tell him or her for you unless you feel it is absolutely necessary because you are too embarrassed or for some other reason. Make sure if you do ask someone else to tell your crush how you feel that it is someone you trust so they won’t spread rumors about you.
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Don’t expect too much. Nothing is guaranteed. It is very possible that the object of your affection won’t return your feelings. But you shouldn’t tell them only to get a positive response. It is nice to know people like you and your crush should appreciate your honesty, regardless of the outcome. If they have nothing to say in response to how you feel, move on and don't be discouraged because of their response. [8] X Research source
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React well if they say they don’t return your feelings. If they do let you know how they feel about you, but it is not the same way you feel about them, don't stress it and don't make the mistake to take it back. Eventually they may feel the same way and if they don't, again just move on.
- The important thing here is to react with grace. If you get upset or say something mean in response, then it negates all of the nice things you just did and said. And it will definitely eliminate any chance of your crush deciding that they do really like you in the future.
- Don’t indulge in a pity party or get visibly upset in front of your crush.
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Give it time. [9] X Expert Source Connell Barrett
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 24 September 2019. Sometimes people need time to think about their feelings and make a decision like this. Strong emotions often take time to develop. So it’s possible that they will think about what you said and change their mind in the future. [10] X Research source- Continue being their friend and try to act as if nothing has changed. This will give them a chance to see you in a new light.
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow do I tell my crush that I like them?Connell Barrett is a Relationship Expert and the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation in New York City. Connell has over five years of experience as an international coach who helps men connect with women by unlocking their best, true, most confident selves. He is the author of the Amazon bestseller “Dating Sucks but You Don’t,” and has appeared on Good Morning America, the "Today" show, Access Hollywood, and in Best Life, Cosmopolitan, and The Oprah Magazine. In 2019 he was named Datezie.com's “New York City’s Best Male Dating Coach."Wait until there's a good time where you two can talk alone. Just be straight forward with them to show that you're confident.
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QuestionCan this help if you're 11?Community AnswerYes! Just try to be honest and respectful when you tell the person you like them. And don't be mean about it if they say they don't like you back. These rules work for any age!
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QuestionWhat if you are too nervous to ask?Community AnswerTelling someone you like them definitely requires a lot of courage. Try to be brave and just talk to them about your feelings. But if you are really too nervous to ask, think about sending them a casual text like, "Hey, I like you. Want to hang out?"
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Tips
- Making a big deal about it could annoy the person you are conveying your feelings to.Thanks
- Letting him/her know that you need to talk with them will let them know you're serious, but don't just randomly pull them aside.Thanks
- Planning it in your head is typically not a good idea because if things do not go how you expected you could be too surprised or caught off guard to do it naturally.Thanks
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Warnings
- Do not cry or get upset around them if they do not like you. This will only make them take pity on you, or possibly make him/her uncomfortable, which is not what you want.Thanks
- Don't take too long to make your move or someone else will take it.Thanks
- Don't go announcing you are about to tell him/her that you like them to the public. They may feel uncomfortable and try to back out.Thanks
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References
- ↑ https://www.wisdomtimes.com/blog/how-to-tell-someone-you-like-them/
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rosalie-puiman/9-easy-steps-to-manage-difficult-conversations-like-a-pro_b_5861116.html
- ↑ http://www.succeedsocially.com/onthespotconversations
- ↑ Connell Barrett. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.
- ↑ Connell Barrett. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.
- ↑ http://www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/sex-relationships/relationships/crush-dont-know-how-tell-6423370
- ↑ https://hellogiggles.com/6-non-creepy-ways-let-someone-know-like/
- ↑ http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/jul/10/crush-feel-relevant-information-compliment-fancying
- ↑ Connell Barrett. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.
About This Article
Article Summary
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To tell someone you like them, first make sure to choose a time when the two of you are alone together and not too busy. Then, instead of telling them your feelings right away, start with a few icebreakers, like a funny story or a movie you’d like to see. When you feel comfortable, remember to stay calm, be confident, and keep it simple. For example, try something like “I’ve been thinking about you a lot, and I want you to know that I like you.” For more helpful pointers about choosing the perfect moment and managing your expectations, read on!
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