Mistakes are bound to happen at work, which means there will be times you’ll want to professionally apologize to your coworkers, boss, customers, or colleagues. Whether you apologize in person or in an email, there are a few key points to hit to ensure your apology is sincere. In this article, we spoke with employee relations expert Jeffrey Fermin and etiquette coach Tami Claytor to learn the best way to make a genuine apology and how to give it in person or write it in an email. We’ll also provide sample email templates and scripts to help you apologize at work with ease.
The Right Way to Apologize at Work
Acknowledge the mistake you made and take ownership of it without making excuses or blaming others. Empathize and validate your colleague’s feelings so they understand you’re remorseful. Then, suggest ways to fix the mistake and prevent it from happening again.
Steps
How to Make a Professional Apology
-
Acknowledge and take responsibility for your mistake. Start your apology by saying what you’re sorry about—Fermin says to “address the exact issue or action you're apologizing for.” Then, own your mistake and accept full responsibility for it. While you can briefly explain how or why you made the mistake, avoid making excuses or blaming anyone else. [1] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Medical School Harvard Medical School's Educational Site for the Public Go to source
- Use “I” statements to make it clear you’re accepting responsibility for the mistake and to avoid putting blame on anyone else.
- For example , say, “I want to apologize for failing to send the shipment on time. I got the dates mixed up and take full responsibility for this error.”
- Even if your mistake was in response to someone else’s or you think you aren’t entirely to blame, it’s important to only focus on your actions. Making excuses or blaming others can make your apology sound insincere and end up doing more harm than good. If anyone else was involved, let them apologize instead of speaking for them.
-
Recognize how your actions affected the other person. The key to making a genuine apology is expressing regret for your actions and showing that you get how they affected your colleague. Tell your colleague that you understand that you inconvenienced or upset them. Then, validate their feelings and express that you would be frustrated or disappointed in the same situation. [2] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source
- For example , say, “It was unprofessional of me not to notify you that the shipment would be delayed. I realize that this is frustrating and has put you behind schedule.”
- Apologize to your colleague even if it wasn’t your intention to upset them. Claytor says it’s okay to say that your actions weren’t intentional, but to “follow [that] up by saying, ‘I'm not trying to make any excuses. I know that I hurt you. And I hope you forgive me.’”
- If you’re having trouble understanding the impact of your mistake, take a moment to reflect and put yourself in your colleague’s shoes. For instance, think about how you’d feel if your coworker missed a deadline or forgot to include your contributions to a project.
Advertisement -
Say, “I’m sorry” or “I apologize.” Make it clear that you are sorry and giving your colleague an apology. This emphasizes your colleague’s feelings and shows that you are taking responsibility for your actions. Avoid using indirect expressions like “I regret” or “I’m disappointed,” as these phrases can sound like you’re centering your feelings. [3] X Research source
- For example , say, “I am sorry I forgot to send the shipment on time.”
- Other professional ways to say, “I’m sorry” include:
- “ I apologize for the inconvenience .”
- “Please accept my sincere apology.”
- “ My apologies .”
- “I’m very/truly/really/deeply sorry.”
-
Explain how you’ll fix the issue. Fermin recommends that you “suggest ways to make [the mistake] right or ensure it won't happen again.” Tell your colleague if you’ve already corrected the issue or how you plan to resolve the problem. Then, tell them what you’ll do to prevent the mistake from happening again. [4] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source
- For example , say, “I sent your shipment today and refunded you the price due to this inconvenience. I’ve set detailed reminders for myself so I don’t forget to send your shipment again.”
-
Ask the person for their forgiveness in personal situations. In more personal situations, like accidentally offending your coworker, it’s appropriate to ask for their forgiveness after you make your apology. This is a clear way to let your colleague know that you’re sincere about your apology and committed to rebuilding your relationship. [5] X Research source
- For example , say, “I hope you can forgive me” or “Can you please forgive me?”
- Don’t pressure your colleague to forgive you. They might need more time to process, so pressuring them can make your apology seem insincere. Simply let them know that you hope they can forgive you.
- Note : It’s up to your colleague if they want to accept your apology or not—you can’t force them to accept it. While this can be tough, try not to be discouraged. Keep your promise to prevent the issue from happening again to show your commitment to your apology. Seeing that you honor your word can help mend your relationship.
-
Make your apology soon after you make a mistake. In most cases, it’s best to make your apology as soon as you make or notice the mistake. If the issue was more personal, like if you yelled at a colleague in frustration, it might be best to wait a few hours. This gives your colleague time to cool down and process and you time to reflect on your actions. [6] X Research source
-
Use polite language and keep your apology concise. Ensure your tone is respectful and calm, whether you’re apologizing in person or over email . Use formal, business-appropriate language and speak or write clearly so your apology is short and to the point. [7] X Research source
- For instance, avoid using overly casual language or slang in your apology, like “My bad.”
- Avoid excessively apologizing too, like saying “I’m so so so sorry.” Keep your apology succinct and sincere and let it speak for itself.
Expert Q&A
Tips
References
- ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/the-art-of-a-heartfelt-apology-2021041322366
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2013/03/how-to-give-a-meaningful-apolo
- ↑ https://www.npr.org/2023/01/25/1150972343/how-to-say-sorry-give-good-apology
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2023/05/how-to-apologize-to-a-customer-when-something-goes-wrong
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-we-really-want-in-a-leader/202204/how-to-apologize-at-work
- ↑ https://ca.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/how-to-apologize-for-a-mistake-professionally
- ↑ https://www.grammarly.com/blog/workplace-communication/apology-at-work/
- ↑ https://www.grammarly.com/blog/workplace-communication/apology-at-work/
- ↑ https://ca.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/how-to-apologize-for-a-mistake-professionally
- ↑ https://www.grammarly.com/blog/workplace-communication/apology-at-work/
- ↑ https://www.grammarly.com/blog/workplace-communication/apology-at-work/
- ↑ https://www.indeed.com/hire/c/info/apologizing-effectively
- ↑ https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-42716501
- ↑ https://www.forbes.com/councils/forbesbusinesscouncil/2021/12/30/the-professional-way-to-handle-apologies-and-forgiveness/
- ↑ https://www.forbes.com/councils/forbesbusinesscouncil/2021/12/30/the-professional-way-to-handle-apologies-and-forgiveness/
- ↑ https://ca.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/how-to-apologize-for-a-mistake-professionally
- ↑ https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/what-to-say-instead-of-sorry-in-email