How to Apologize for Messaging at Night and Other Texting Etiquette Tips

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Learn how to start late-night messages and when to send them
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Sending a late-night text can be risky—what if you wake the other person up, or they assume there’s an emergency? That’s why we’ve compiled some helpful tips about the etiquette of late-night texting, as well as some example messages you can send if it’s after dark. And, if you receive a late-night text, we’ll help you figure out what it means and how exactly you can respond.

Best Apologies for Texting Late at Night

When you want to send a late-night text, send something like “Sorry to disturb you at this hour” or “Sorry to message you this late.” You can also text “Really sorry to text you so late,” “I hope this message doesn’t wake you up,” “Feel free to respond in the morning,” or “I know it’s late, sorry about that.”

Section 1 of 5:

Is it rude to text someone late at night?

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  1. Some people don’t turn their phone on silent before they go to sleep, so a late-night text could wake them up. If you know the person you’re texting is an early-to-bed, early-to-rise type of person, you might want to hold off on the late-night texting. [1]
    • Etiquette experts agree that sending a text between 8 AM and 10 PM is usually preferred. [2] However, if they’re a close friend or you know they go to bed late, you can extend that a little bit.
    • Try to check with the person beforehand to see if late-night texts are okay. If you’re not sure in the moment, it may be best to wait until morning to send your message.
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Section 2 of 5:

Apologies to Text Late at Night

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  1. This is a good message to send if you don’t know the person very well. If you absolutely have to text someone and you’re worried you might wake them up, you can start your message with this. Then, they’ll know that you didn’t mean to wake them up or disturb them with your text.
    • You could also say, “Sorry for the late-night message,” “Sorry to message you this late,” or “Apologies for the late hour.”
  2. Short and simple, this apology shows that you’re aware of the late hour. If your message just can’t wait, let your recipient know that you understand how late it is (and you’re not too happy about it either).
    • You might also say something like, “I know it’s late, sorry about that.”
  3. If you know they’re already asleep, try something like this. Some people keep their text tones on all night, so your message might rouse them out of a slumber. Let them know that you’re sorry and you hope they can sleep through your message with something like this.
    • You might also try, “If you’re already asleep, no need to respond.”
  4. Some people assume the worst when someone contacts them late at night. Let your recipient know that everything is okay, and that your text is nothing to worry about. That way, if they do wake up and check their phone, they’ll know that they don’t necessarily have to respond right away.
    • You could also say, “Feel free to respond in the morning,” or, “If you’re already in bed, no worries. Just wanted to tell you that…”
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Section 3 of 5:

Who can I text late at night?

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  1. If you know their nightly routines, feel free to send out a quick text to a friend or the person that you’re dating. You can tell them goodnight, ask them what they’re doing in the morning, or just tell them that you miss them. Since you two are close, they’ll know that they don’t have to respond if they’re already sleeping, and you probably won’t be offended. [3]
  2. Feel free to send them a late-night text if you two are close. [4] However, if you don’t see them often or you don’t have a great relationship, save all your texts until the morning when you know they’re awake.
    • If you live far away from your family members, a late-night text can be worrying. They might think you’re having an emergency or need help, so use caution.
  3. It’s almost never a good idea to text your office associates late at night unless it’s an emergency. When people go home, they’re off the clock, and they’re probably not expecting to answer work questions after hours. Try to save your texts for normal business hours unless it’s very urgent. [5]
    • Similarly, emailing your team members after hours can unintentionally make it feel like they can never disconnect from work. Save any non-emergency messages as drafts to be sent later. [6]
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Section 4 of 5:

What does it mean when someone texts you late at night?

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  1. Night owls tend to stay up much later than other people, so the person texting you could have just forgotten that you’re probably not awake. If your friend who often stays up until 3 AM sends you a late-night text, don’t worry—they most likely just assume that you’re awake because they’re awake, too.
  2. If someone you’re flirting with texts you late at night, it’s often a sign that they’re looking for a “booty call.” [7] This is especially true if they send you something like, “You up?” or, “Wanna come over?” It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it can definitely tell you their intentions right away.
    • If hooking up isn’t really your thing, feel free to ignore this message or answer with a simple “No, thank you.” [8]
  3. It’s not the most common reason why someone would send you a late text, but it does happen. If you get an urgent message in the middle of the night, you may want to respond to see what’s up. Hopefully, nothing bad is going on, but it still may be a good idea to double-check.
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Section 5 of 5:

Best Responses to a Late Night Text

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  1. Let your late-night texter know that you don’t really appreciate them texting you at this hour. You don’t have to be too mean about it, but just let them know that you were already sleeping and that, unless there’s an emergency, it’s best to text you in the morning so they don’t disrupt you mid-snooze. [9]
    • You could also try something like, “Hey, your text just woke me up. What’s going on?” or, “Shouldn’t you be in bed by now?”
  2. Asking right away will let you know whether or not you need to be worried. If you aren’t sure whether you need to respond or not (maybe the message was a little too vague), text back asking for clarification. If it’s not an emergency, feel free to head back to dreamland.
    • You might also say something like, “If this isn’t urgent, I’ll go ahead and respond in the morning.”
  3. Use this one if you’re going to ignore the message until the morning. Even if you open up the text while you’re in bed, the other person doesn’t have to know that. Save your response until the morning, and let the other person know that you were asleep. That way, they’ll get the message that they probably shouldn’t text you so late at night.
    • You could also say something like, “Hey, I was already asleep when you sent that.”
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      Tips

      • If you’re texting a group of people, it might be best to keep message-sending to normal daytime hours so they don’t have a ton of texts to sift through as soon as they wake up. [10]
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      • If a partner puts too much pressure on you to respond right away, reinforce your boundaries by communicating how you feel and how often you’re comfortable texting them. [11]
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      • If your partner texts you too often, you might reinforce your boundaries by giving them specific times of the day that are okay for them to text you during or saying that you prefer talking in person or over the phone. [12]
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      Tips from our Readers

      The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
      • Try not to say "sorry I just saw this" if your phone has its read receipts on and you opened the text earlier than you texted them back.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://parade.com/227718/stevenpetrow/digital-dilemmas-is-it-ok-to-send-a-text-in-the-middle-of-the-night/
      2. ↑ https://www.huffpost.com/entry/sending-late-night-texts-rude-etiquette_l_668d5efce4b0a62057b86fc1
      3. ↑ https://www.huffpost.com/entry/sending-late-night-texts-rude-etiquette_l_668d5efce4b0a62057b86fc1
      4. ↑ https://www.huffpost.com/entry/sending-late-night-texts-rude-etiquette_l_668d5efce4b0a62057b86fc1
      5. ↑ https://www.inc.com/alison-green/my-boss-emails-and-texts-me-at-all-hours.html
      6. ↑ https://hbr.org/2015/03/your-late-night-emails-are-hurting-your-team
      7. ↑ https://www.vogue.com/article/what-time-of-day-should-you-slide-into-someones-dms
      8. ↑ https://www.seeyounexttuesdaymedia.com/articles/a-guide-to-responding-to-the-dreaded-u-up-text
      9. ↑ https://www.huffpost.com/entry/sending-late-night-texts-rude-etiquette_l_668d5efce4b0a62057b86fc1
      1. ↑ https://www.southernliving.com/group-text-etiquette-8373864
      2. ↑ https://www.joinonelove.org/learn/texting-dos-and-donts-in-relationships/
      3. ↑ https://www.joinonelove.org/learn/texting-dos-and-donts-in-relationships/

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