Is there someone at school or at work whom you feel a strong attraction to? Perhaps you look forward everyday to seeing this special someone, but there's just one tiny problem: you are a devout Muslim, are married, and feel that having such a strong attraction is conflicting with your Islamic faith? If so, this article is for you.
Steps
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Learn to lower your gaze. Refrain from looking at people's awrah, which is the parts of the body that must be covered. The Qur'an commands both women and men to lower their gaze: "tell the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their private parts" (24:30) and "tell the believing women that they should lower their gaze..." (24:31).
- A common misconception is that lowering one's gaze means completely avoiding someone of the opposite gender, or in some cases, indiscreetly avoiding eye contact. This can seem impolite and bizarre. Lowering your gaze means to behave humbly and modestly in front of others, and restraining yourself from any desires.
- Lowering your gaze also applies to peoples' houses. Just as you expect privacy in your home, others are entitled to privacy and theirs. You shouldn't snoop into others' affairs, or concern yourself with what is happening in someone's house.
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Make du'aa. Engage yourself in supplication and thikr (remembrance) of Allah. Ask Allah to help you overcome your feelings for this person. Shaytaan (Satan) wishes to create unwanted desires; by spending more time praying in the mosque, reciting the Qur'an, and remembering Allah, you can overcome these desires.
- A du'a for defeating bad desires is, "Oh Allah! I seek refuge in You from reprehensible manners, deeds and whims".
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3Consider fasting. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, "O young men, whoever among you can afford to, let him get married, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and in guarding one’s chastity. Whoever cannot afford it, then let him fast, for it will be a shield for him". This applies to both men and women. Fasting will help you control your desires.
- Remember that there are some days on which fasting is prohibited. These include on Friday (with an exception), on the days of Eid and the three days after Eid-ul-Adha.
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Stop thinking about him or her . This can be harder than it looks, but if you can break the habit of allowing them into your head, then your goal to stop liking them will soon be achieved.
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5Spend more time with your spouse . If you want to stop thinking about other men or women, try to spend more time with your husband or wife. Not only does this make your spouse feel less neglected, but this should stop you thinking about other people. It's also recommended by the Prophet PBUH.
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Speak to a guidance counselor about moving to a different class. If it's someone at work, perhaps you can arrange with your supervisor to place you in a different area to do your work. Take note that this step should only be taken in extreme situations . It's unnecessary unless you really are smitten, and if the person finds out that you moved because of him or her, they'll feel hurt and upset.
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You may even want to change your work or study institution to avoid the temptation caused by seeing that person. This should also only be used in extreme situations and really isn't recommended . You're going to meet people you like everywhere; you can't run from love forever. You just need to have the right mentality when dealing with this problem.Advertisement
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Tips
- Be careful with who you hang out with. If your friends like to hang out with girls and are not the best influence, avoid hanging out with such friends.Thanks
- Being attracted to another person is very natural but extra-marital relationships are against Allah's laws, so it must stop. Think about how your spouse would feel if you were having an extra-marital affair. Also, the Qur'an says, "Do not go near adultery, .surely it is an indecency, and an evil way [of fulfilling sexual urge]".Thanks
- Have willpower. This way, you'll be able to resist and control your desires.Thanks
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