How to Be Romantic on the Phone with Examples

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Building a stronger bond even when you’re apart

Co-authored by John Keegan and Aimee Payne, MFA

Last Updated: February 27, 2025 Fact Checked

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Being Romantic Over the Phone

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Staying Connected

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Romantic Phone Conversation Starters

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Sending Romantic Texts

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Text Conversation Starters

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Want to have a romantic conversation on a phone call or by text but aren't quite sure what to say? Whether you're in a long-distance relationship or just want to turn up the heat with your crush, you're in the right place. We spoke with relationship experts to get all the best tips on how to talk romantically over the phone. Plus, we'll include conversation starters to inspire you and teach you how to send flirty texts that'll keep your SO coming back for more.

How to Talk Romantically on the Phone: The Basics

Pay them compliments on their personality, looks, and talents to let them know what you like about them. Plan dates, reminisce about good times, fantasize with each other, and just be together. Text to keep in touch during the day for encouragement and updates.

Section 1 of 5:

Being Romantic Over the Phone

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Tell your partner what you like about them. Want a surefire way to romance your partner on the phone? Give them a compliment ! Dating Coach John Keegan recommends really laying it on thick with compliments on everything you like about them. Tell them you can't stop thinking about their eyes, sense of humor, or anything else you love about them. Try to compliment them on something that’s specific and unique to them.
- Compliment their personality to make it even more personal and meaningful. Say something like, "I love talking to you. You always crack me up."
- Compliment their looks . Say, "I can't stop thinking about your eyes. Miss you."
- Compliment their talents. Say, "You kiss me so well, it's driving me crazy that we aren’t kissing right now."
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Plan the next big date you want to go on. If you can't be together right now, the least you can do is plan the perfect date for when you see each other next. Keegan recommends keeping the relationship fresh and alive by telling them where you want to take them out for live music and a glass of wine. Talk about dates that you'd like to go on, both exotic and local. This can help you bridge the distance and feel closer than ever. ^{[1]
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- Plan a dream vacation together on the phone and let yourselves dream a little. Where would you go if you could go anywhere? Then, plan it all out!
- Plan some everyday dates as well. Talk about how you want to hit up the restaurant around the corner and snuggle in on the couch.
- One good way of ramping up the sexual tension is to talk about what you'll do later tonight. Tell your lover exactly what you plan on doing. In detail.
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Talk about memories of great times you've had together. Another good way to spend your quality phone time together is to reminisce. Talk about fun dates you've been on before, or the great things you've done together. This is especially helpful for new relationships. Just make sure you’re making new happy memories and not spending too much time talking about the “good old days.” ^{[2]
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- Talk about the first time you met, or the first thing you noticed about your SO.
- Another great way to build the sexual tension? Reminisce about the things you did a few nights ago and compliment your partner on their mind-blowing moves.
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Share fantasies and have phone sex. Love and relationship coach Nicole Moore says phone sex is a great time to talk about your fantasies with less inhibition. If you're chatting on the phone, it might be easier to engage in a little risqué chat about your sex life. Moore suggests, “Let your partner speak out loud their fantasies and you can do the same…Take turns role playing over the phone and getting into character."
- Start by talking about things you want to explore with your partner and what turns you on and let things go from there.
- If you're not sexually active yet, and even if you are, having phone sex can be a new outlet to explore together.
- Keegan says a lack of physical contact is one of the biggest challenges of a long-distance relationship. Phone sex is one way to address it.

Section 2 of 5:

Staying Connected in Long-Distance Relationships

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Plan regular phone dates to stay connected. Marriage and family therapist Moshe Ratson says, “Creating romance requires planning, investment, and effort…Develop rituals to keep romance in your life, and establish a regular date night.” That goes for long-distance relationships, too. If you have to be apart regularly, it's a good idea to have a regular phone date at a set time, so you can still feel like you’re still spending quality time together.
- Set a half hour or an hour each day to can catch up, talk about the future, and express your love across the miles . ^{[3]
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- If you have to be apart for long periods of time, talk with your partner to find out how much phone time you both need to feel connected.
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Do something fun together while you’re on the phone. One great way to spend a phone date is to make a plan to do the same activity while you're talking on the phone together. Plan something fun and easy that you can do around the house, like cook dinner or work on a craft and just chat on the speaker phone while you do it. It'll be almost like you're together, even if you're not. ^{[4]
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- Try out a recipe together and try to make it at the same time. Text each other pictures of the end results when you're done and see who made it better.
- If you can, Skype or another type video-call makes this even better.
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Use a phone call to just be together. If your significant other needs to talk, just listen and be there for them. Even if there's really nothing to talk about, just having your partner on the line can be a romantic gesture . Read a book together or sync up Netflix to watch your favorite TV show or movie. Even if there are long periods of silence, it can be comforting and romantic to know that you're both together, even though you might be miles apart. ^{[5]
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- Try keeping the phone on your pillow and talking before you fall asleep.
EXPERT TIP

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan
Dating Coach

The best thing you can do on the phone is listen. If you're talking to your girlfriend, all she really wants is to know that you're listening and actually hear her. That's why she's in a relationship with you — to be heard on every level, listened to, and understood.

Section 3 of 5:

Romantic Phone Conversation Starters

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Be flirty and fun when talking to someone new. Have you scored the phone number of a cute guy or girl and want to impress them with a romantic conversation starter? At first, it might be a good idea to focus on light, positive topics like talking about a favorite band, TV show, or movie. Or ask a few open-ended questions that require more than a yes or no answer. Here are a few conversation starters to help you get to know someone on the phone:
- “If you had to choose one song to describe your life right now, what would it be?”
- “What’s the first album you ever bought?”
- “What’s the best movie to watch on a date?”
- “What was your last Netflix binge?”
- “If we went on a date, where would you take me?”
- “Which celebrity would you want to play you in a movie?”
- “If we had a Netflix show, what would it be called?”
- “Who’s your favorite movie villain of all time?”
- “What was your first impression of me?”
- “What’s your best (and worst) pickup line?”
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Show your crush you’re interested with a funny and romantic conversation. A little humor is one of the best ways to to relieve stress for both you and your crush. ^{[6]
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Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source} Ask a funny question or drop a super-cheesy pick-up line to make them laugh…and win their heart! Try one of these funny conversation starters:
- “Are you a Disney World ride? Because I’d wait forever for you.”
- “What’s your favorite corny joke?”
- “Are you a taser? Because you are stunning.”
- “Is a hot dog a sandwich?”
- “If you had a warning label, what would yours say?”
- “Are you a broom? Because you just swept me off my feet.”
- “What’s the most annoying musical instrument?”
- “Hey, I'm Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?”
- “What’s the most annoying song ever made?”
- “Do you like pizza? Because I want a pizz-a you.”
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Start a deep, romantic conversation on the phone with your SO. A romantic conversation can help you connect with your partner on a deeper level . These conversations can help you get closer while learning what they want for life and your relationship. ^{[7]
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Research source} Ask them one of these thought-provoking questions to get a really deep conversation going:
- “Would you rather have no emotions or be able to deeply feel every little thing?”
- “Would you rather know how you're going to die or know how I'm going to die?”
- “If you could go back to one day in your childhood, which would it be?”
- “Would you sacrifice your career for love?”
- “What is your biggest emotional need?”
- “What would you do if you could go back in time and learn something sooner, and how would it change things?”
- “What fears do you have about our relationship?”
- “What aspects of our lives are most compatible?
- “Would you rather lose your most cherished memory or know that you’d already had your happiest moment in life?”
- “Have you ever experienced grief?”

Section 4 of 5:

Sending Romantic Texts & Messages

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Send a text to let your partner know you’re thinking about them. If you have to be apart and can't have an actual phone conversation, just sending a short "Thinking of you" text can be great way to remind your partner that you care. Here are a few romantic texts you can send through the day: ^{[8]
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- "You looked beautiful this morning. Can't get you out of my head."
- "Can't wait to see you later today! Counting the minutes."
- "Guy at work keeps talking about his cats. Miss you."
- "I've been thinking about last night all day. Can't wait to do that again."
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Message them to give them a little encouragement throughout the day. If you know your partner's going to have a rough day at work or school, send them an encouraging message to help them stay positive during the day. This reminds them that you care about them and you're in their corner. Be a helpful voice with the following kinds of texts: ^{[9]
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- "You're going to kill that presentation, I just know it. Good luck!"
- "Good luck with the test! Thinking of you!"
- "Only three more hours left till you get to come home."
- "It's almost Friday! You can do it!"
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Keep each other updated with quick texts and messages. When you're apart throughout the day, it's always nice to know what your partner is up to. Ask for updates on how they're doing and let your partner know how your day is going as well. This doesn’t mean that you have to text or call them 24/7 or they may feel a bit suffocated or overwhelmed. Just keep each other up to date with a message like:
- "Just finished my essay. Yikes. At least it's done? Can't wait to see you tonight and blow off some steam..."
- "It's such a beautiful day on campus! Flowers! Birds! Wish you were here to see it."
- "I got to work and Jim had eaten the last donut and drank the last of the coffee and now I'm just looking at Buzzfeed and wasting time. What are you doing?"
- "Everyone on the train looks grim this morning. Monday. How's yours going?"
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Plan a last-minute date with your significant other. When you're out and about and a date occurs to you, send a quick text to your partner to see if they'll be up for it. This is usually good for dates with someone that you've had dates before, not a first date. It's an easy and quick way to get in touch and plan something. Try one of these to get things going:
- "When you get home from work, I'll bring you pizza?"
- "I'm downtown later. Meet me for a drink at our spot?"
- "I'm having the worst day. Here's what I'm thinking for later: You. Me. Some wine. A dark room....and Empire Strikes Back on the new Blu-Ray. Yes?"
- "It's a beautiful day. Let's meet in the park and go for a walk!"
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Send cute selfies or funny pics to make sure they’re thinking about you. If you're looking good, send your partner a picture to make them drool. If you see something funny while you're walking around, send it to your partner to let them laugh with you. Sending pictures can be a fun, easy, and quick way to keep in touch without having to do a whole lot of work. ^{[10]
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- Be careful with sending picture messages that are x-rated. Make sure you know and trust the person you send pictures to.
- Remember that it's never romantic to send unsolicited naked pictures, and it can be dangerous.

Section 5 of 5:

Romantic Conversation Starters for Texts & Dating Apps

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Charm the other person with a romantic text conversation. Ready to slide into their DMs or strike up a conversation on a dating app? Ask them about something you saw on their social media or dating profile, like their hobbies, a specific photo, a pet, or anything else they chose to share with the world. It’s especially good to mention something you have in common. Use one of these ice-breakers to help you get the conversation rolling:
- “It looks like you traveled to Japan last year. I’ve always wanted to go. What what it like?”
- “Is that a pug in your profile picture? My aunt had one when I was a kid!”
- “Correct me if I’m wrong, but that looks like Biscotti’s in the background of your birthday pic. That’s my favorite restaurant! What’s your favorite dessert?”
- “I just saw you watched all the Marvel movies in chronological order. I thought I was the only nerd who did that. Who’s your favorite superhero?”
- “You work at a toy museum? That’s so interesting! What’s it like?”
- “What? You like pineapple on pizza? I knew I couldn’t be the only one!”
- “Your profile says you hit a hole in one last summer. Does that mean you’re a golfer, too? What’s your handicap?”
- “You like Elvis, too? What’s your favorite song?”
- “You watch Severance , too? What did you think of the most recent episode?”
- “Hey! Am I seeing it right that you graduated from Oberlin? I did, too!”

Become a Better Lover with this Expert Series

Ready to become the best lover you can be? We've put together this expert series to help you spice things up in the bedroom and foster romance in your relationship.

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Become a Better Lover

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Spice Things Up in the Bedroom

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Make Love Last

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11 Ways to Make a Woman Feel Loved and Secure

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Be a Better Boyfriend

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How to Become a More Romantic Man