PDF download Download Article PDF download Download Article

Finding someone you like and asking them out is hard enough, but getting ready for the date can be even more nerve wracking. Worrying about what to say or how to act is totally normal, even if it feels like you’ve overthinking it. With these tips and tricks, you can focus on getting to know your date better instead of stressing about the little things (and remember: your date is probably super nervous too!).

1

Nail the first impression by looking your best.

PDF download Download Article
  1. Pick out your favorite outfit, wash your face, and brush your hair. If you like makeup, you can wear it—if not, that’s fine too! [1]
    • What you wear depends a lot on what you’re doing on your date. For example, if you’re going mini golfing, jeans and a T-shirt are probably fine. If you’re going to a fancy restaurant, you might want to wear slacks or a skirt and a button-down.
  2. Advertisement
2

Get to the date on time.

PDF download Download Article
  1. Head out early so you get to the venue 10 to 15 minutes before your date does. If you’re going to be a little late, shoot your date a text so they know to hang tight. [2]
    • If you’re going somewhere you’ve never been before, look it up on a map ahead of time so you know when you need to leave.
3

Introduce yourself with a smile.

PDF download Download Article
  1. Your greeting has the potential to make or break your date, so start yourself out on the right foot. If you don’t know each other, shake their hand and tell them your name. If you do know each other, give your date a quick hug and a warm hello. [3]
    • If you’re feeling nervous (or if your date seems nervous), try dispelling the tension with a quick joke. Something like, “Do you like my outfit? I changed 3 times!” will break the ice so you two can have fun the rest of your date.
  2. Advertisement
4

Let your true personality shine.

PDF download Download Article
  1. As you chat with your date and hang out, make sure you’re not putting on a front for them. Show off your true personality so your date gets a sense of who you are, and don’t be afraid to get a little silly or weird! [4]
    • While being yourself is great, try not to be overly negative. Complaining too much on the first date, whether it’s about the traffic, your family, or singlehood, could put your date off.
    EXPERT TIP

    John Keegan

    Dating Coach
    John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
    John Keegan
    Dating Coach

    Make building an emotional connection the main goal of your date. Fun activities and stimulating conversation are the name of the game as you get to know each other. While you're at it, practice active listening to show that you care about what your date has to say.


5

Show off your manners.

PDF download Download Article
  1. Not only should you use your manners with your date, try to be polite and courteous to anyone around you, like waiters, restaurant hosts, or valets. Show off your charming personality by saying please and thank you so your date knows that you’re a nice person. [5]
    • This tip might sound like a no brainer, but you’d be surprised—some people like to show off how macho they are on dates by acting rude or aloof (and it usually doesn’t land them a second one).
  2. Advertisement
6

Ask your date questions.

PDF download Download Article
  1. Try asking open-ended questions so they can talk about themselves for a few minutes. If they’re a good date, they’ll ask you some questions, too! Try things like: [6]
    • “What do you do for work?”
    • “What’s your favorite place to travel?”
    • “Do you like your job?”
    • “How long have you lived in the area?”
7

Get into a deep conversation.

PDF download Download Article
  1. Ask them about their family, their past, or even the meaning of life to really form a connection. You could even ask them something silly, like if they believe in aliens or Bigfoot! Try conversation topics like: [7]
    • “Have you ever seen a UFO?”
    • “Did you like growing up in a small town?”
    • “What’s a memory from your childhood that makes you smile?”
  2. Advertisement
8

Listen attentively as your date talks.

PDF download Download Article
  1. Put down your phone and look the other person in the eyes as they talk. To show you’re really listening, nod your head and ask follow-up questions. [8]
    • Being on your phone all the time is super off-putting. Try to keep it in your pocket or your purse, and only take it out to check the time or send a quick text once or twice.
9

Tell your date about yourself, too.

PDF download Download Article
  1. As you and your date talk, try switching between asking and answering questions so it feels nice and natural. Avoid pre-planned jokes or one-liners, since they can feel a little stiff. [9]
    • If you think you’re talking about yourself too much, say "Enough about me, let's talk about you!"
  2. Advertisement
10

Stay away from controversial topics.

PDF download Download Article
  1. Try not to bring up politics, religion, or anything that might spark a debate between you and your date. If you two like each other, there will be plenty of time to talk about that stuff later. [10]
    • If it comes up naturally, feel free to give your opinions—but keep them civil, and try not to argue back and forth.
11

Avoid talking about your ex.

PDF download Download Article
  1. Even if you only have nice things to say about your ex-partner, your date probably doesn’t want to hear them just yet. Save the past relationships chat for when you two know each other a little better. [11]
    • Many people see bringing up an ex too much as a red flag, and for good reason: if you constantly talk about your ex on a date, there’s a good chance you aren’t over them yet.
  2. Advertisement
12

Offer to split the bill.

PDF download Download Article
  1. If you want to, you can offer to pay it in full; if not, suggest going 50/50. It will keep things light and casual so no one feels pressured to spend a ton of money. [12]
    • There’s some controversy surrounding who should pay on the first date (some people think whoever initiated the date should pay, while others like the more traditional role of the man paying). Realistically, there’s no right or wrong way to go about this, so do whatever feels comfortable to you.
    • If you’re on a budget and don’t want things to get awkward if your date doesn’t pay for you, consider doing something casual like going to a coffee shop or smoothie bar.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 435 wikiHow readers who've had successful first dates, and 64% of them agreed that the best cheap, casual option is a coffee shop. [Take Poll]
13

Ask for another date if you like them.

PDF download Download Article
  1. Ask your date if they’re free again next week so you two can hang out. Or, shoot them a text after your date to see if they’re interested in seeing you again. [13]
    • If you are interested, asking for another date will let the other person know that you like them. That way, they can choose whether or not they want to continue the relationship.
  2. Advertisement

Have the Perfect First Date with this Expert Series

First dates can be intimidating. Skip the stress and plan the perfect first date with these expert articles.

Expert Q&A

Search
Add New Question
  • Question
    How do I get better at first dates?
    Maria Avgitidis
    Matchmaker & Dating Expert
    Maria Avgitidis is the CEO & Matchmaker of Agape Match, a matchmaking service based out of New York City. For over a decade, she has successfully combined four generations of family matchmaking tradition with modern relationship psychology and search techniques to ensure her professional clientele are introduced to their ultimate match. Maria and Agape Match have been featured in The New York Times, The Financial Times, Fast Company, CNN, Esquire, Elle, Reuters, Vice, and Thrillist.
    Matchmaker & Dating Expert
    Expert Answer
    If you're using an online dating site, use a current profile photo. Your meet-up will be off to a bad start if you don't look like your photo. Before the date, relax and get in the right mindset. If you're going on a date after work, stop by a coffee shop for tea or talk to a friend before you go. You need to get in the right head-space and out of work-mode. Also, wear date clothes and look the part. Wear nice clothes, style your hair, and make sure you're comfortable. Put effort into your first impression and show your date that you're invested enough to look your best.
Ask a Question
      Advertisement

      Tips

      Submit a Tip
      All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
      Name
      Please provide your name and last initial
      Thanks for submitting a tip for review!
      Advertisement

      About This Article

      Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 60,453 times.

      Did this article help you?

      Advertisement