This article was co-authored by Adam Dorsay, PsyD
. Dr. Adam Dorsay is a licensed psychologist in private practice in San Jose, CA, and the co-creator of Project Reciprocity, an international program at Facebook's Headquarters, and a consultant with Digital Ocean’s Safety Team. He specializes in assisting high-achieving adults with relationship issues, stress reduction, anxiety, and attaining more happiness in their lives. In 2016 he gave a well-watched TEDx talk about men and emotions. Dr. Dorsay has a M.A. in Counseling from Santa Clara University and received his doctorate in Clinical Psychology in 2008.
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Happiness means different things to different people. Some people find joy in roller coasters and bungee jumping, while others find happiness in something as simple as a good book. What makes you happy is going to be unique to you, but there are several easy ways to improve your sense of happiness regardless of what you enjoy doing in your spare time. Whether you’re looking to improve your attitude or you’re simply seeking a quick fix when you’re feeling blue, here are some options to help you become a better, happier person.
Steps
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Set aside at least 20 minutes a day to get out of the house. Take a walk through a local park or explore a local forest preserve. [1] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source If you’re in a city, take a stroll around the neighborhood or swing by a local park and take in the fresh air. Spending time outside will reduce your stress and lower any anxiety you’re experiencing, and you’ll be much happier in the long run if you get outside every day. [2] X Trustworthy Source Greater Good Magazine Journal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living Go to source
- Walking also counts as a form of exercise, so you’re killing two birds with one stone if you’re also trying to spend more time exercising.
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Variety is the spice of life, so step outside of your comfort zone. If you’ve never gone on a hike, pack your bag and head to the nearest state park. If you’ve never tried Ethiopian food, grab a few friends and try that new restaurant out. Even if you don’t fall in love with every new thing you try, the variety will be exciting and you’ll always have something exciting to look forward to. [3] X Trustworthy Source Greater Good Magazine Journal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living Go to source
- This is especially important when it comes to traveling. Get out there and visit new places. Even if you can’t fly out for your dream vacation right now, you can probably squeeze in a road trip to a new city. [4] X Research source
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Stop unhealthy thoughts and feelings in their tracks and revise them. If you start thinking, “I never do anything right at work,” finish that sentence by tacking on “but this time I’m going to nail the presentation.” By catching bad thoughts and feelings as they crop up, your self-awareness will improve and you’ll have an easier time controlling your emotions, which can increase how much happiness you experience on a daily basis. [5] X Research source
- Another way to fix negative thoughts is to repeat a positive phrase or affirmation over and over again until your perspective has changed. You could say something like, “I am strong, I am capable,” or, “I can handle any obstacle.”
- Positive self-talk is also physically good for you. The more optimistic you are, the less stress you’ll experience. This can increase your life span, build your immune system, and lower your risk for cardiovascular disease. [6] X Research source
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Spend a few minutes literally counting your blessings. Jot down or verbally list everything you’re thankful for. Try to start showing more gratitude as well. Every act of gratitude will bring you happiness, from thanking your friends and family for always being there for you to telling strangers “thank you” when they hold the door open for you. If you can get in the habit of expressing gratitude, you’ll naturally cultivate a more positive attitude. [7] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Medical School Harvard Medical School's Educational Site for the Public Go to source
- A gratitude journal is a great way to get in the habit of being grateful. Every day, spend 5-10 minutes writing about something you’re thankful for. [8] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Medical School Harvard Medical School's Educational Site for the Public Go to source
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Fill your eyes and ears with things that put a smile on your face. You’re more likely to be down in the dumps if you’re always listening to sad songs and watching depressing movies. Try to incorporate more positivity into your life. Start the day by singing a joyous song in the shower, listening to motivational audiobooks, and throwing on the occasional feel-good romantic comedy when you don’t know what to watch on Netflix. [9] X Research source
- This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t enjoy your death metal and horror movies. There’s a time and place for everything; just try to engage with something that makes you feel good about the world every now and then.
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Set aside time every day to pursue the things that bring you joy. Keep practicing that instrument, sign up for a dance class, or set aside time for more board games with your friends. [10] X Research source Actively pursuing your hobbies will give you something to look forward to whenever you’re feeling down, and you’re going to find life more fulfilling if you dedicate yourself to something you actively care about. [11] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
- If you’re looking for a new hobby, try to choose something social. You’re more likely to make new friends if you’re engaging in a team sport, book club, or community gardening project.
- It’s impossible to waste time on something so long as you find value and meaning in it. If you’re passionate about competitive video gaming, brewing craft beer, or collecting stamps, don’t let anyone make you feel bad about pursuing what you love.
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When you’re nice to other people, you feel better about yourself. Offer to help your friend move, give your seat up on the bus to someone who could use a break, and take your mom out for lunch. Make a promise to yourself to go out of your way and do one kind thing every day. There’s no substitute for putting a smile on someone else’s face. [12] X Research source
- There’s a kind of positive feedback loop here where the happier you are, the kinder you’ll be and vice versa.
- Kindness can be contagious. If you help other people out now, you’re more likely to find the help you might need in the future. [13] X Research source
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If you spend a ton of time on your phone, it may be time for a break. It’s hard to feel happy if you’re constantly comparing yourself to others and scrolling through the news articles on your timeline can bum you out. People that spend a ton of time on social media tend to be at higher risk for depression, so try taking a break from your social media accounts. You may get that big dose of joy you’ve been looking for. [14] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
- You can always deactivate your accounts and reactivate them when you feel like you’re ready to get back online.
- There are apps you can download to control how much time you spend on social media every day. This can be a great middle ground if you don’t want to be cut off entirely.
- Social media is great when it comes to keeping in touch with people in other parts of the world, and there’s nothing intrinsically wrong with using Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. It’s just that people need a break sometimes!
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Cash in a vacation day or call off sick to take a break. Spend a day doing whatever you’d like. You could take a day-trip to that beach you love, or just putz around the house in your robe all day. If you’ve been anxious about stuff piling up on your to-do list, spend the day completing a few tasks you’ve been putting off. Rewarding yourself with a micro-vacation is a great way to take a break and recharge. [15] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source
- This is an especially good option if you’ve been getting stressed about work. Giving yourself a break to focus on something else is a great way to recharge your batteries.
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Replay that video game you’ve mastered or show off your singing skills. If you’re a great painter, spend an hour making some art. If you can juggle, do that instead. Being challenged can be rewarding, but nothing is better for your mood than reminding yourself you’re good at something. [16] X Research source Performing a task you’re super good at can also boost your self-esteem, which is a key component of being happy. [17] X Research source
- Everyone has something they’re great at. Even something as simple as cooking a fancy meal for your family can be super rewarding.
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Burn some incense or throw some essential oils in your diffuser. Smell is one of the most powerful senses, especially when it comes to your mood. [18] X Research source Lemon, lavender, jasmine, rosemary, and cinnamon are all great options if you’re doing some candle shopping or trying to find the perfect scent to put a smile on your face. [19] X Trustworthy Source Johns Hopkins Medicine Official resource database of the world-leading Johns Hopkins Hospital Go to source
- Scent has a unique ability to trigger memory. If there’s a unique dish your grandmother used to make, recreate it! The nostalgia is sure to boost your mood.
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It’s hard to be happy if you don’t feel good physically. Getting regular exercise will do wonders for your health, but it will also increase your emotional well-being. Sign up for a recreational sports league, hit the weights at the gym 2-3 times a week, and start jogging or cycling to get your blood flowing. Not only will your body feel better, but you’ll also give your mood a big boost at the same time. [20] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
- Any physical activity counts as exercise. Cleaning your kitchen, walking your dog, and working on your car all count, so just get moving.
- You don’t need to go straight from no exercise to a massive workout routine. Even 10 minutes of exercise a day can do wonders for your happiness. Start small and then work your way up from there. [21] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
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Call a friend you haven’t seen in a while and don’t skip that family dinner. Spending time with positive people who care about you is one of the best ways to improve your overall happiness. Human beings aren’t meant to be cooped up and isolated, so stay connected with your loved ones and get out of the house to see the people who matter most. [22] X Expert Source Adam Dorsay, PsyD
Licensed Psychologist Expert Interview. 11 April 2019.- You can still be social with the COVID pandemic keeping everyone indoors. Set up a video hangout session over Zoom, play some games online with your friends, and FaceTime your family over dinner.
- Seeing your friends and family is also a great way to mitigate stress. If you’re ever going through a tough time, reach out to the people who care about you. You’re sure to feel better. [23] X Research source
- Don’t allow other people’s negative attitudes to affect your happiness. If you have a friend or family member who is constantly complaining or critiquing you, don’t go out of your way to see them.
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Giving back to your community gives you purpose and self-satisfaction. When you dedicate your time and energy to trying to make the world a better place, you feel better about yourself. [24] X Expert Source Adam Dorsay, PsyD
Licensed Psychologist Expert Interview. 11 April 2019. Show up to help at a local soup kitchen, write a check for a local nonprofit, or go canvassing for a politician you believe in. You’ll see your happiness levels increase and you’ll make the world a nicer place for others in the process. [25] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source- Some people are unhappy because they don’t feel purpose in life. Maybe they think their job doesn’t matter, or they feel like they aren’t making a difference in their off time. If this might be you, reach out to some charities near you to see how you can help.
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Yoga, meditation, and deep-breathing exercises are great options. Get in the habit of doing some form of relaxation every day to keep the stress from piling up. Stress isn’t good for your health, and it can dramatically influence the way you process emotions. If you’re totally stressed out, it will be difficult to find your inner peace, which is the opposite of what you want if your goal is to be happier. Pick a relaxation technique that works for you and do it every day to lower your stress levels. [26] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
- Yoga is a fun way to exercise while lowering stress. Either sign up for a yoga class at a studio near you or pull up some beginner videos on YouTube and give it a shot.
- Download a guided meditation app and find a nice quiet place to meditate. Follow the prompts to learn how to focus your thoughts and calm your body.
- Deep-breathing exercises are a great option if you tend to overreact to stress in the moment. Put one hand on your belly, the other on your chest, and breathe in through your nose slowly. Exhale through pursed lips. Do this 3-10 times to lower your stress. [27] X Research source
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It’s a commitment, but a furry friend will bring you smiles. Not only do pets provide companionship when you’re feeling lonely, but taking care of another living thing can be deeply rewarding. Knowing you always have a friend at home waiting for you is also a great way to boost your sense of happiness. Just make sure you have the time to take care of a pet before you rush out and get one. [28] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
- Dogs are extremely loyal and loving, but they do require a lot of time and energy. Cats are a fun option that don’t require daily walks.
- Guinea pigs, rabbits, hamsters, and mice are all phenomenal options if you want a furry friend that won’t be super high maintenance.
- Lizards and fish are other fun options that don’t require a lot of socialization.
- There are even studies that show keeping crickets can boost your energy levels and mood! [29] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health Go to source Taking care of an ant farm might be a great option if you don’t have a ton of free time for a dog or cat.
Expert Q&A
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QuestionCan money bring you happiness?Dr. Adam Dorsay is a licensed psychologist in private practice in San Jose, CA, and the co-creator of Project Reciprocity, an international program at Facebook's Headquarters, and a consultant with Digital Ocean’s Safety Team. He specializes in assisting high-achieving adults with relationship issues, stress reduction, anxiety, and attaining more happiness in their lives. In 2016 he gave a well-watched TEDx talk about men and emotions. Dr. Dorsay has a M.A. in Counseling from Santa Clara University and received his doctorate in Clinical Psychology in 2008.It depends. Spend your money on experiences, not things. The memories you have of a family vacation will far outweigh the joy of a fancy new outfit. You'll feel happier engaging in the activities more than if you just bought something.Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
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References
- ↑ https://www.apa.org/monitor/2020/04/nurtured-nature
- ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_nature_makes_you_kinder_happier_more_creative
- ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_be_happy_fine_print
- ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/comfort-zone/
- ↑ https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/positive_thinking_makes_a_difference
- ↑ https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/self-talk
- ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/giving-thanks-can-make-you-happier
- ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/giving-thanks-can-make-you-happier
- ↑ https://munewsarchives.missouri.edu/news-releases/2013/0514-trying-to-be-happier-works-when-listening-to-upbeat-music-according-to-mu-research/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happy-trails/201509/six-reasons-get-hobby
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2863117/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-nourishment/201711/why-random-acts-kindness-matter-your-well-being
- ↑ https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/acts-of-kindness-and-compassion
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4853817/
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2018/05/how-to-get-the-most-out-of-a-day-off
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/imperfect/2019/05/what-is-self-love-and-why-is-it-so-important
- ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/self-worth/
- ↑ https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2020/02/how-scent-emotion-and-memory-are-intertwined-and-exploited/
- ↑ https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/aromatherapy-do-essential-oils-really-work
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/healthy-living/how-to-start-exercising-and-stick-to-it.htm
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/healthy-living/the-mental-health-benefits-of-exercise.htm
- ↑ Adam Dorsay, PsyD. Licensed Psychologist. Expert Interview. 11 April 2019.
- ↑ https://highlandspringsclinic.org/the-top-ten-benefits-of-spending-time-with-family/
- ↑ Adam Dorsay, PsyD. Licensed Psychologist. Expert Interview. 11 April 2019.
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/healthy-living/volunteering-and-its-surprising-benefits.htm
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/stress-management.htm
- ↑ https://www.uofmhealth.org/health-library/uz2255
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/mood-boosting-power-of-dogs.htm
- ↑ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26383099/
About This Article
To be a happier person, try to adjust your attitude by appreciating the big and the little things in life. For example, say “Thank you” more often or keep a gratitude journal. Alternatively, pay attention to any sights, sounds, or smells around you, since this will refocus your mind on the present moment instead of on the past or the future. To cope with stress, create time to engage with your interests to figure out what brings you joy. Alternatively, try spending your money on new experiences like festivals or travelling, since you’ll create memories that will outweigh any material purchases. For more advice from our Counselor co-author, including how to relax your mind and body, keep reading!
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