Siblings are the friends you will have for life. No other friends have the opportunity to have the relationship that you have with a sibling, which makes the sibling bond very strong. However, it can be easy to fight or disagree with your siblings or end up having a bad relationship. If you value your sibling and want a great relationship, take some steps to improve or maintain an awesome relationship.
Steps
Method 1
Method 1 of 3:
Being an Awesome Sibling
-
Remember important days. It’s great to remember your sibling’s birthday, but remember other days that are important, too. You may want to wish your sibling good luck on a big presentation, or make a gift for your sibling after an orchestra performance. Show that you are proud to be a sibling and that you are happy to be in his life.
- Remember your sibling’s performances and make sure you attend them.
- Wish your sibling good luck on big exams.
- If you both have the day off of school, plan to spend it together doing fun things. Make a snow fort or a snowman.
-
Share. [1] X Research source There’s a reason why there’s a saying,”Sharing is caring.” Show your sibling that you care by sharing. Let your sibling borrow your music or your shirt. If there’s one brownie left, invite your sibling to eat it. If your sibling shows an interest in something you have, use it together. [2] X Expert Source Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, & Fitness Expert Expert Interview. 6 October 2021.Advertisement -
Celebrate successes. When your sibling does really well in a play or aces a math test, let him know that you are happy for him. If your sibling faces a fear (like singing in front of the whole school), congratulate him on being brave. Share in the happy moments with your sibling and be there with a smile to congratulate him. [3] X Expert Source Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, & Fitness Expert Expert Interview. 6 October 2021. -
Surprise your sibling. Surprises can take many forms: you can take your sibling out for ice cream, show up unannounced at your sibling’s soccer game, or leave a small gift for your sibling in his room. The best thing about surprises is that they are just as much fun to give as they are to receive!
- If your sibling really likes candy, leave some candy in his room on the day before a test.
- If you get two tickets to an event, invite your sibling and tell him it’s a surprise.
-
Make something special. If you’re crafty or like to make things, make something special for your sibling. You can make a friendship bracelet, origami paper crane, or a homemade card. If you feel really adventurous, try sewing a bag for your sibling or an article of clothing. Just make sure your sibling knows it was made just for him, with lots of love. [4] X Expert Source Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, & Fitness Expert Expert Interview. 6 October 2021.- The nice thing about making something is that your sibling can hold on to it and remember it was a gift made by you.
Advertisement
Method 2
Method 2 of 3:
Improving Your Relationship
-
Work on projects together. You can create a garden, build a doghouse, or make a painting. When you work together, you have fun and solve problems as a team. [5] X Research source Choose an activity you both can enjoy, get the supplies, and go do it! [6] X Expert Source Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, & Fitness Expert Expert Interview. 6 October 2021.- If you have problems trying to find something you both agree to do, pick something neutral than neither of you have done before.
- Choose an activity that both of you can excel at. If you’re good with building and your sibling is good at designing, you can create something new together that both of you enjoy.
- When problems arise, make sure you tackle them as a team.
- When you finish your project, you’ll both have a sense of satisfaction from building something together.
-
Laugh often. Functional families smile and laugh together. [7] X Research source Find things you both enjoy and go do them. This can include watching tv shows you both enjoy, putting together a comedy routine, or having your own inside jokes that only the two of you understand.
-
Follow the golden rule. Treat your sibling the way you want to be treated. [8] X Research source Do you want to be made fun of, teased, or laughed at? Probably not. So, when you interact with your sibling, say things you would like someone to say to you. Avoid being mean or doing things that you know will upset your sibling, even if you think it’s funny. [9] X Expert Source Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, & Fitness Expert Expert Interview. 6 October 2021.- Be respectful and be thoughtful in your words and your actions.
-
Avoid competing for attention. Find your niche and allow your siblings to have theirs, too. You may excel at school while one sibling excels in gymnastics and another in dance. Be supportive of your sibling’s activities and don’t try to compete for the limelight. [10] X Research source
- If your sibling is a great dancer or excellent artist, be happy for her. Try not to be jealous if your sibling is really talented at something. Remind yourself that there are things you are really good at, too.
- Don’t become rivals. [11] X Research source It’s okay to be good at similar or different things and still get along.
- If you feel like your sibling gets more attention than you do and it bothers you, talk to your parents and let them know how you feel.
-
Be supportive. Show your sibling that you love her and are there for her. [12] X Research source If your sister has a rough day, offer to talk about it or try to make her smile. If your brother is in trouble, go help him out. If you’re there for your sibling, it’s likely he or she will be there for you, too.
- Help your sibling with homework, or be there to talk if your sibling goes through a breakup.
-
Focus on your own interests. If you feel like you live in your sibling’s shadow, take your focus off of your sibling and on to yourself. Be proud of your own accomplishments and interests. Your sister may be a great student, but you are an excellent artist. Perhaps your brother excels at singing, but you enjoy karate. When you focus on your own interests, you’ll spend less time dwelling on your sibling. [13] X Research source
- If you’re not sure what your interests are, go out and try new things that you might enjoy. Go hiking, play chess, start a dance or art class, or play music.
- Don’t worry about how “good” at things you are but that you enjoy them. It’s okay if you enjoy pottery even if you’re not “great”. And even if you are great, don’t go bragging about your skills. Focus on doing things you enjoy.
Advertisement
Method 3
Method 3 of 3:
Resolving Fights
-
Resolve conflicts on your own. it’s normal and healthy to fight with your sibling. While it may be easier to get an adult or parent to help resolve the conflict, do your best to find a solution on your own. [14] X Research source
- When you are upset at your sibling, talk it over. Tell your sibling how you feel and how you want things to be for the future. [15] X Research source
- You may have to find a middle path or find a solution that benefits each of you separately (like your sibling gets to watch tv first, then you get to watch your show afterward).
-
Avoid using physical force. While you might feel really angry and want to hit your sibling, don’t do it. Minor conflicts will blow over, but emotional pain often lasts far longer than physical pain. Instead, ask your parent to step in if you feel like you might hit your sibling. [16] X Research source
- If your sibling eggs you on, pull out from the interaction. Say, “I don’t want to fight” or “I think it’s better if we go get mum.”
- You can also walk away.
-
Don’t blame your sibling for everything. Fights happen when two people disagree on something. [17] X Research source Don’t immediately go tattle on your sibling or blame him or her for your fight. Remember that you had a part in starting the fight or reacting to it in a way that kept it going.
- You may try to save yourself from getting punished, but remember it’s not fair to blame your sibling for things. Admit that you had a part, too.
-
Apologize . When you hurt your sibling, apologize. [18] X Research source If you say mean words or accuse your sibling of something he didn’t do, make sure you make it right and say “I’m sorry.” Don’t let feuds or fights last days, weeks, months, or even years. Show that you are sorry and make sure your sibling sees that you want things to be different.
- Be specific in your apology, don’t just say “I’m sorry” and expect things to go back to normal. Say, “When I said those words, they were really mean. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings, and I’ll do better not to say mean things to you in the future.”
-
Avoid jealousy. Especially if your sibling is older than you, you may be jealous of the privileges he has that you don’t. You may feel jealous about attention, privileges, or territory (like who has the biggest room or the nicest things). [19] X Research source Find ways to feel more even in the dispersion of these things.
- If you feel like things are out of balance, talk to your sibling or your parents about your concerns and see if you can find some compromise. You may find solutions such as having different items in your rooms, having different privileges, or doing different chores.
Advertisement
Expert Q&A
Search
-
QuestionWhat makes a good big brother?Dr. Supatra Tovar is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, Fitness Expert, and the Owner of Dr. Supatra Tovar and Associates. Dr. Tovar has worked in the fields of health education, clinical dietetics, and psychology. With over 25 years of holistic wellness experience, she practices Holistic Health Psychotherapy. She combines her psychology, diet, and fitness knowledge to help those struggling with depression, weight gain, eating disorders, life transitions, and relationships. Dr. Tovar holds a BA in Environmental Biology from The University of Colorado Boulder, an MS in Nutrition Science from California State University, Los Angeles, and a PsyD in Clinical Health Psychology from Alliant International University, Los Angeles.It's all about treating your little brother or sister with kindness. I'm sure that there will be times when they get on your nerves, but if you do everything in your power to show compassion and love, you're a good big brother.
-
QuestionHow can I connect more with my little sister?Dr. Supatra Tovar is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, Fitness Expert, and the Owner of Dr. Supatra Tovar and Associates. Dr. Tovar has worked in the fields of health education, clinical dietetics, and psychology. With over 25 years of holistic wellness experience, she practices Holistic Health Psychotherapy. She combines her psychology, diet, and fitness knowledge to help those struggling with depression, weight gain, eating disorders, life transitions, and relationships. Dr. Tovar holds a BA in Environmental Biology from The University of Colorado Boulder, an MS in Nutrition Science from California State University, Los Angeles, and a PsyD in Clinical Health Psychology from Alliant International University, Los Angeles.Try to be relatable and approachable. Acting like you're too cool to interact with her just because you're older is always going to put some distance between you two. There's a reason she probably follows you around and asks so many questions. Always be available for her and the two of you will be connected forever.
-
QuestionHow can I keep my siblings from getting on my nerves?Dr. Supatra Tovar is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, Fitness Expert, and the Owner of Dr. Supatra Tovar and Associates. Dr. Tovar has worked in the fields of health education, clinical dietetics, and psychology. With over 25 years of holistic wellness experience, she practices Holistic Health Psychotherapy. She combines her psychology, diet, and fitness knowledge to help those struggling with depression, weight gain, eating disorders, life transitions, and relationships. Dr. Tovar holds a BA in Environmental Biology from The University of Colorado Boulder, an MS in Nutrition Science from California State University, Los Angeles, and a PsyD in Clinical Health Psychology from Alliant International University, Los Angeles.Everyone is unique, and it's normal for a sibling to have some quirks that might bother you. Do your best to take it in stride. Treat those little nuances like they're funny little sideshows instead of core components of your relationships with them. If you can take the right attitude towards silly behavior, it won't feel like such a big deal.
Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
Advertisement
Tips
- Stay friends through teen and adult years. [20] X Research source Remember that your sibling is often the person that knows you best. Staying friends as you grow up means you have a lifelong friend. Even if you move away or get married, you still have the memories of younger years and of the friend that knows you best.Thanks
- You are not pressured to spend time with your sibling, or have a close relationship with them. They are always going to be your sibling.Thanks
Advertisement
References
- ↑ http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2009/12/14/5-ways-to-show-you-care/
- ↑ Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, & Fitness Expert. Expert Interview. 6 October 2021.
- ↑ Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, & Fitness Expert. Expert Interview. 6 October 2021.
- ↑ Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, & Fitness Expert. Expert Interview. 6 October 2021.
- ↑ http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2009/12/15/what-makes-a-family-functional-vs-dysfunctional/
- ↑ Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, & Fitness Expert. Expert Interview. 6 October 2021.
- ↑ http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2009/12/15/what-makes-a-family-functional-vs-dysfunctional/
- ↑ http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2009/12/15/what-makes-a-family-functional-vs-dysfunctional/
- ↑ Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, & Fitness Expert. Expert Interview. 6 October 2021.
- ↑ http://www.businessinsider.com/how-sibling-relationships-affect-your-life-2014-12
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/teen-angst/201404/healthy-sibling-relationships
- ↑ http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2009/12/15/what-makes-a-family-functional-vs-dysfunctional/
- ↑ http://teens.webmd.com/features/resolving-teen-sibling-rivalry?page=4
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/surviving-your-childs-adolescence/201003/sibling-conflict-in-adolescence
- ↑ http://teens.webmd.com/features/resolving-teen-sibling-rivalry?page=3
- ↑ http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/sibling_fighting_teenagers.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/surviving-your-childs-adolescence/201003/sibling-conflict-in-adolescence
- ↑ http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2009/12/15/what-makes-a-family-functional-vs-dysfunctional/
- ↑ http://teens.webmd.com/features/resolving-teen-sibling-rivalry?page=2
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/teen-angst/201404/healthy-sibling-relationships
About this article
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 16,206 times.
Reader Success Stories
- "My sister and I are in the middle of a fight and this really helped me think of a way to resolve it."
Advertisement
100%
of readers found this article helpful
.
Click a star to add your vote
% of people told us that this article helped them.
"My sister and I are in the middle of a fight and this really helped me think of a way to resolve it."
"I am so happy you wrote this."
