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Be yourself and win over your peers with these expert tips
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Looking for the secret to popularity? You're in the right place. You can become popular by being true to yourself, inclusive of others, and involved in your community. We’ve compiled the best tips for becoming more popular below, including advice from school counselor Evanne Torrecillas, so you can have your best school year yet.
How to Become More Popular
- Be yourself. The more confident you are, the more people will be drawn to you.
- Stand up for your beliefs. Never compromise your values in exchange for popularity.
- Be kind to everyone, including people outside your group.
Steps
Section 1 of 3:
How to Be Yourself
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Figure out what being popular means to you. Before you dedicate your time, effort, and resources to becoming cool, take a moment to evaluate your desire to be popular.- Are you searching for acceptance? Are you looking for attention? Are you trying to rebel or reinvent yourself?
- Torrecillas advises asking yourself what being popular even looks like to you. If you define “popularity” as “everyone liking you,” “I'm sorry,” Torrecillas says, “that's just not gonna happen.” If you view popularity as people being “excited to sit next to you like they think that you're a cool person in general”? That’s more doable. [1]
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Expert Source
Evanne Torrecillas
School Counselor Expert Interview. 14 April 2022. - Even if you try really hard to be well-liked, you may never become popular in society’s eyes. What will happen if you don’t become popular? How can you cope with failing to fulfill this desire? What other outlets could you explore as you try to discover your authentic self? [2] X Research source
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Be true to yourself. In order to become popular, you don't conform to societal norms or completely reinvent yourself. Strive to develop into the best version of yourself —the most compassionate, spunky, authentic you. As you become more self-aware, your confidence will grow . You will become more adventurous, passionate, and interesting. Your social anxiety will decrease and people will be more drawn to you. [3] X Research source- Discover what you believe in and who you are independently from others.
- Don’t alter your personality to fit in or to try to get people to like you.
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Stand up for your beliefs. Never compromise your personal beliefs and opinions in exchange for popularity. Instead, openly embrace what you believe in and love. Follow the fashion trends that you like, and not because you saw a celebrity wear it. If you want to, make new trends, instead of following old ones.- You may gain acceptance by some in-crowds by defaulting to more popular kids' beliefs and opinions, but this is likely to leave you feeling unhappy and unseen.
- And in fact, you'll probably be more respected by sticking to your own values, opinions, and beliefs, and not giving in to peer pressure from others.
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Remain humble. Never underestimate the power of humility. People who take themselves too seriously are difficult to be around— lighten up and live a little! [4] X Research source Likewise, it is not attractive to brag about your accomplishments, money, or things—wait for others to congratulate or compliment you. When they do, accept the compliment.- When you make a mistake or a social faux pas, don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself.
- When you accomplish something incredible or do something wonderful for another person, don’t broadcast your achievement.
- When you get a new outfit or item, don’t rub it in others’ faces.
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Care about your appearance. Taking pride in your appearance is one of the simplest ways to improve your social prospects and alter the way people think about you. [5] X Trustworthy Source Association for Psychological Science Nonprofit organization devoted promoting trustworthy research and education in the psychological sciences Go to source You don't have to wear expensive or trendy clothes to become popular. Instead, aim to look presentable at all times—put thought into your outfits, hairstyles, and personal hygiene.- Experiment with developing your own eclectic sense of style.
- Make sure that you're following the school dress code though: you don't want to get in trouble while trying to be popular.
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Section 2 of 3:
How to Be Inclusive
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Expand your social circle. While popular people are not always liked by everyone, they are known by everyone. In order to increase your popularity, you need to broaden your social circle. Go out of your way to meet and hang out with new people and join new clubs at school. [6] X Research source- Smile and say “Hi” to everyone you meet.
- Invite someone to have lunch with you.
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Avoid judging and bullying others. As you strive to become popular, don’t tear others down in the process. Remember, a kind, compassionate person wins over more friends than a nasty, unconfident person. [7] X Research source Never judge people, but always jump to their defense. Don’t bully others, but befriend them. Plus, you don't want "friends" that are only friends with you because they're afraid you'll bully them.- Be kind to people outside your group. Being a clique that despises outsiders will not earn you many friends beyond the group. Instead, work to earn the respect and friendship of outsiders.
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Support and help others. Helping others accomplish their goals and reveling in their success is an excellent way to develop a positive reputation. “Go out of your way to be nice to people,” Torrecillas suggests, “[be] kind… [and help] people with their homework.” [8] X Expert Source Evanne Torrecillas
School Counselor Expert Interview. 14 April 2022. Set aside your desire for attention or your need to be the best. Instead, encourage and assist those around you as they strive to succeed. Your compassion will surprise and delight others.- Offer to help someone with their homework or a project.
- Stay after practice to work out with a teammate.
- Congratulate others on their accomplishments.
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Address and cope with people who dislike you. Bullies, haters, and negative or unkind people will always be present in your life whether you are popular or an outcast. You may know these individuals or they may be complete strangers to you. In order to lead a healthy life and live as the most authentic you—even if you never become popular—it is important that you address and cope with people that dislike you .- Remove toxic people from your environment. Stop spending time with that negative friend who always belittles you.
- Stand up for yourself . Let this person know that you do not appreciate and will no longer tolerate their negative treatment of you.
- Don’t take it personally. Bullying is not a reflection on you, but a self-reflection on the bully. You are not the problem; they are the problem. [9] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source
- Keep in mind that you should be friends with someone because they are kind and funny, not because they are really popular.
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Section 3 of 3:
How to Become More Involved
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Say “yes” to trying new things. Exposing yourself to new experiences and adventures is an excellent way to develop self-confidence and meet new people. When someone asks you to try something new , don’t be afraid to say “yes.” Set aside any anxiety or doubts and immerse yourself in the opportunity to expand your horizons. Although, don't say yes to things that can harm you or affect you negatively. You may discover a new hobby or develop a new friendship along the way!- Try a new restaurant: it might be your new favorite!
- Sign up for an art class or workout class.
- Learn how to play a new instrument.
- Even just trying new things may make you appear more outgoing and confident, Torrecillas says, which can make you more popular. [10]
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Expert Source
Evanne Torrecillas
School Counselor Expert Interview. 14 April 2022.
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Attend events and parties. Going to sporting events and parties are excellent ways to expand your social circle and increase your popularity. These events provide you with a chance to interact with others in a more relaxed and intimate environment.- Mix and mingle with new people at a tailgate.
- Get to know your co-workers at a holiday party.
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Join a sports team, club, or committee. Participating in extracurricular activities is a wonderful way to increase your social circle and popularity. You will form lasting relationships with your fellow members. Your accomplishments will attract the attention and praise of those around you.- Try out for the school musical.
- Join the debate team.
- Run for student council.
- Join a culture-themed club.
- Torrecillas says, “Just being part of that club isn't going to make you popular, it's that you enjoy this thing. You own it, you like it, you want to share it with other people. You can develop those leadership skills, which will definitely help make you more popular, and stand out from the crowd…. And you don't have to be popular with every single person to really stand out.” [11]
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Expert Source
Evanne Torrecillas
School Counselor Expert Interview. 14 April 2022. - Reader Poll: We asked 109 wikiHow readers if they volunteer regularly, and 54% of them said yes. [Take Poll] Volunteering can be a fun way to give back to your community and meet like-minded people!
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow do you stay true to yourself and your values?Katie Styzek is a Professional School Counselor for Chicago Public Schools. Katie earned a BS in Elementary Education with a Concentration in Mathematics from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. She served as a middle school mathematics, science, and social studies teacher for three years prior to becoming a counselor. She holds a Master of Education (M.Ed.) in School Counseling from DePaul University and an MA in Educational Leadership from Northeastern Illinois University. Katie holds an Illinois School Counselor Endorsement License (Type 73 Service Personnel), an Illinois Principal License (formerly Type 75), and an Illinois Elementary Education Teaching License (Type 03, K – 9). She is also Nationally Board Certified in School Counseling from the National Board for Professional Teaching Standards.Don't give into any peer pressure. Instead, have confidence in your own strengths, abilities, and successes. Then, exit the uncomfortable situation by saying "no thanks" and walking away.
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QuestionHow do you keep a conversation going with a new student?Katie Styzek is a Professional School Counselor for Chicago Public Schools. Katie earned a BS in Elementary Education with a Concentration in Mathematics from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. She served as a middle school mathematics, science, and social studies teacher for three years prior to becoming a counselor. She holds a Master of Education (M.Ed.) in School Counseling from DePaul University and an MA in Educational Leadership from Northeastern Illinois University. Katie holds an Illinois School Counselor Endorsement License (Type 73 Service Personnel), an Illinois Principal License (formerly Type 75), and an Illinois Elementary Education Teaching License (Type 03, K – 9). She is also Nationally Board Certified in School Counseling from the National Board for Professional Teaching Standards.Ask them about where they moved from and how things are going at their new school. If you hit things off, invite them to eat lunch with you later.
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QuestionWhy do people think they need to be popular?Community AnswerHumans always form social hierarchies. Many people feel the need to climb through the ranks to get more attention or status. There's nothing wrong with this as long as you don't do this by tearing others down. Instead, be the person that others can go to for advice, protection, and motivation.
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Tips
- Be patient. Some people are hard to win over, and some people insist on being difficult.Thanks
- Stand up for the bullied ones and pull them up with you as you climb through the rankings.Thanks
- Never forget your old friends just to be popular. Give them a friendly smile when you are busy and see them in the hallway.Thanks
Tips from our Readers
The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
- Don't overthink situations and act oversensitive. Try to be positive as much as you can and never be too self-obsessed. If you're sad, try to think glass half full instead of glass half empty.
- Be yourself! Some people may not like it but that’s how you get true friends. Don’t let being cool get in the way of what’s most important in life!
- DON'T DITCH YOUR OLD FRIENDS! You can try to hang out with everyone at the same time by getting your old friends to hang out with your new friends.
- An important thing to remember is that you don't have to be popular. You are perfect just the way you are. Be yourself, be opinionated, be kind.
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References
- ↑ Evanne Torrecillas. School Counselor. Expert Interview. 14 April 2022.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/rediscovering-love/201604/how-can-i-be-more-popular
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/rediscovering-love/201604/how-can-i-be-more-popular
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/letters-from-your-therapist/202110/the-surprising-qualities-that-make-someone-well-liked
- ↑ https://www.psychologicalscience.org/observer/studying-first-impressions-what-to-consider
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/rediscovering-love/201604/how-can-i-be-more-popular
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/202303/the-secret-behaviors-that-make-people-likable
- ↑ Evanne Torrecillas. School Counselor. Expert Interview. 14 April 2022.
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2022/04/how-to-confront-a-bully-at-work
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