180+ “Big Head” Jokes & Comebacks to Crack You Up

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Plus, how to crack jokes without offending anyone
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Whether you’ve got a buddy with a ginormous noggin or maybe a huge ego, you might enjoy exchanging a few witty (and groan-worthy) jokes about their big head now and again. Luckily for you, there are loads of jokes about having a big head, so you’ll never run out! Keep reading for our faves—and stick around for the wittiest comebacks to big head jokes, plus our tips on how to be sensitive when making jokes about other people.

Best Big Head Jokes

  • I’m not saying you have a big head, but you might need a widescreen mirror.
  • You don’t wear hoodies; you wear small parachutes.
  • You need a selfie stick just to take a headshot.
  • When you sneeze, it creates a solar eclipse.
  • Your head enters the room five minutes before you do.
Section 1 of 11:

Big Head Joke One-Liners

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  1. Short on time? Use one of these quick zingers to get ’em good:
    • Your brain must get lost up there.
    • They had to redesign your car’s airbags.
    • Your brain has its own neighborhood watch.
    • Your head needs its own zip code.
    • Your neck must be stronger than most bodybuilders.
    • You need Google Earth to take a proper selfie.
    • Your thoughts take longer to reach the back of your head.
    • Your hat comes with a GPS.
    • They had to sew two pillowcases together just for you.
    • You don’t dream—you create entire universes.
    • When you shake your head, it causes small earthquakes.
    • Your hats are made by construction crews.
    • Your selfies need to be taken with a panoramic lens.
    • Your hat is labeled “one size fits most… except you.”
    • You don’t turn your head—you rotate it like a globe.
    • You need extra carry-on space for your head when you fly.
    • I bet your head has its own time zone.
    • Your head is the eighth wonder of the world.
    • You probably get tired just from carrying that thing around all day.
    • You don’t have a big head—you just have a lot of imagination.
    • You probably get charged for double vision insurance.
    • When you lean forward, people think it’s an eclipse.
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Section 2 of 11:

Big Head Puns

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  1. These big head puns are a big deal! Looking for a witty and clever big head joke to laugh over? Try these silly puns on for size:
    • You can lose weight by placing sliced bread on your head—it’s a loaf-hat diet!
    • What do you call a woman with a large, flat head who loves frogs? Lily!
    • Why did the guy with a huge head become a philosopher? He had a lot of room for deep thoughts.
    • What do you call a man with a head so huge he can park his car on it? Jack!
    • My head is so big, I keep hitting it on things. I have only my shelf to blame!
    • Why did the lady with the big head become a mathematician? She had a head for numbers.
    • What do you call a superhero with a huge head? Captain Cranium.
    • What did the barber say to the guy with the huge head? “I’m going to need more scissors for this one.”
    • What do you call a dinosaur who keeps hitting its head on things? A megasaur-head!
    • What do you call a comedian with a huge head? Headie Murphy!
    • What’s it called when someone has a big forehead? A fivehead.
    • When would you put lipstick on your huge head? When you need to make up your mind!
Section 3 of 11:

Big Head Jokes for Adults

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  1. Big head jokes are fun for people of all ages! Who among us is immune to a good, stupid joke about people with big heads? These silly jokes are guaranteed to make kids and adults alike laugh.
    • I’m not saying you have a big head, but you might need a widescreen mirror.
    • Your brain has its own apartment with that much space.
    • Your head’s got its own gravitational pull.
    • You don’t wear hoodies; you wear small parachutes.
    • Your hat must be considered real estate at this point.
    • You don’t need a hat, you need a tarp.
    • When you sneeze, it creates a solar eclipse.
    • Your head enters the room five minutes before you do.
    • You don’t wear hats; you wear tents.
    • Your head’s so big, they had to expand the universe.
    • Your thoughts probably need their own apartment.
    • When you were born, the doctor yelled, “We need more helium!”
    • Your brain must be VIP with all that room.
    • I didn’t know bowling balls could walk.
    • Your hat size is probably considered a weather forecast.
    • Your head’s got more square footage than most people’s apartments.
    • Your shadow gets tired from following your head around.
    • When you think, it sounds like an echo.
    • Do you get two pillows for your head, or just one giant one?
    • Your headphones are custom-made by NASA.
    • NASA called—they want to borrow your head for their next moon landing.
    • I don’t know what’s bigger, your head or your Wi-Fi signal range.
    • You know it’s bad when your neck needs a gym membership.
    • They use your head as the model for hot air balloons.
    • You need a selfie stick just to take a headshot.
    • I bet your driver’s license photo is in landscape mode.
    • Even Google Maps has trouble fitting your head in the frame.
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Section 4 of 11:

Big Head Jokes for Kids

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  1. Exchange big head jokes with your kids to get some major laughs going! Sharing these jokes may also afford an opportunity to talk to your kids about how to tell when a joke goes too far: while many of these jokes are silly and meant in good fun, if someone’s sensitive about the size of their head, they may not appreciate them.
    • Is that a watermelon on your neck?
    • Do you have to buy two tickets when you go to the movies?
    • Is your head its own country?
    • My friend just found out he has a big head. He’ll be crying himself to sleep on his huge pillow tonight!
    • Your head’s size isn’t the problem; it’s the space it occupies everywhere you go!
    • Your head is so big that you need to be careful to stay away from needles and pins so it doesn't pop.
    • Your head’s in the clouds… literally.
    • Your face gets crop-dusted when you sneeze.
    • When you tilt your head, birds start migrating.
    • They had to invent a new alphabet for your head size.
    • When you wear glasses, people mistake you for a telescope.
    • It takes you an hour longer than everyone else to enjoy music because the information has to travel from your ears to your brain, which is miles away.
    • I saw a giraffe at the zoo and its neck still wasn’t as long as your head.
    • Your shampoo must come in gallon jugs.
    • Your neck has its own personal trainer.
    • They named a planet after your head.
    • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Big Head. Big Head, who? Big head, big ideas—better get out of my way!
    • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Huge Head. Huge Head, who? Huge head, small door—now I’m stuck!
    • You must have a big brain—your head is enormous!
    • Do you have a beach ball stuck in your hair?
    • Does your head have its own zip code?
Section 5 of 11:

Big Head and Ego Jokes

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  1. These jokes are perfect for someone with a big head and a big ego. Get ’em good with these jokes that kill two birds with one stone! These jokes mock both big heads and enormous egos:
    • I didn’t know they made heads in IMAX size.
    • Your head’s so big, it orbits itself.
    • Your head is so big that the rest of your body will never get a tan.
    • Your head is so big, it has its own cleaning crew!
    • Your head is so big that underneath your passport photo, it reads, "to be continued on page 2."
    • Your head is so big, it’s like a planet.
    • Your head is so big, it has its own weather system.
    • Your head is so big, they’re using it as a new parking garage.
    • Your head is so big, it could double as a planetarium.
    • Your head blocks the sun during a picnic.
    • Your head is so big that your left and right ears are in different time zones.
    • Your head is so big that the airlines have to charge you for extra baggage every time you fly.
    • Your head is so big that you have to step into your shirt when you get dressed.
    • Your motto must be, “Big head, bigger personality.”
    • Your head is so big, it’s got its own gravity.
    • Your head is so big, your hat size is labeled “oversized cargo.”
    • Your head is so big, it’s got its own ecosystem!
    • Your head is so big, it could cast a shadow on the entire city.
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Section 6 of 11:

Big Head Jokes for School

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  1. Dish out these jokes on the playground to make the other kids laugh. Be the jokester of recess with these silly big head insults! 😎 (Just make sure everyone’s in on the fun and games—these jokes are for having fun, not bullying!)
    • Sponge Bob Squarehead.
    • Your head is so expansive, it’s like a luxury penthouse!
    • How many times have you fallen over and broken your nose because of the gravity created by your head?
    • Your brain’s GPS is still recalculating.
    • They didn’t take your school photos—they used a satellite.
    • The good news is that if someone ever insults you, it will never go over your head, ever.
    • When you lean back, the Earth shifts on its axis.
    • It costs $40 to take a Lyft from your eyebrows to your hairline.
    • Your selfies need Google Maps to capture it all.
    • When you lie down, the ground moves with you.
    • You don’t wear glasses—you wear shields.
    • The only hat that fits you is a bucket.
    • When you dream, they need to launch a sequel.
    • Your thoughts need a traffic controller.
    • When you bob your head, it’s considered a seismic event.
    • I saw a bird with a head bigger than its body, and I thought, “That’s your spirit animal!”
    • Your head’s as big as an elephant’s.
    • You’ve got the biggest head in the animal kingdom.
    • Your baby photos were in widescreen before it was cool.
    • You have your own weather patterns up there.
    • When you get a haircut, it’s considered deforestation.
    • You can’t wear sunglasses—you wear solar panels.
Section 7 of 11:

Big Head Jokes for the Office

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  1. These big head jokes are perfect for the workplace. Studies show that having a sense of humor at work can help your colleagues view you as more confident and competent. [1] So next time you’re chilling at the water cooler, sling some lighthearted shots at your coworkers with bigger-than-average head sizes!
    • Your neck probably gets tired by noon.
    • Your neck deserves an award for “Most Supportive.”
    • You don’t have a bald spot—you have a landing strip.
    • I bet your thoughts need a roadmap.
    • They use your head as a landmark in Google Street View.
    • Your head doesn’t wear hats; hats wear your head.
    • Your selfies have to be taken in wide-angle mode.
    • Your brain probably gets lost in all that space.
    • Your head is so large that I ran around it to train for my half-marathon race.
    • Your brain has its own commute time.
    • You don’t need pillows; you need mattress toppers.
    • When you wear a hat, the weather changes.
    • Your head deserves its own parking space.
    • Your neck probably demands overtime pay.
    • Your selfies take longer to capture than a panoramic view.
    • When you nod, people mistake it for a bobblehead convention.
    • You don’t have a head of hair; you have a forest canopy.
    • I bet you get VIP seating at hat stores.
    • The last time you turned around, the seasons changed.
    • You don’t wear helmets—you wear domes.
    • Your brain must need a road trip to get from one side to the other.
    • You could open a bowling alley with your head.
    • Your hat size is described in megabytes.
    • You probably need two haircuts at once.
    • Your pillow must come with a heavy load warning.
    • They put your head on a map for orientation purposes.
    • They use your head to measure sea levels.
    • Your neck’s been lifting weights to handle that load.
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Section 8 of 11:

Big Forehead Jokes

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  1. Big heads are one thing, but big forehead jokes are their own brand of funny, trust us! Next time you want to make playful fun of your buddy’s fivehead (or sixhead or, God forbid, sevenhead), dish out one of these ridiculous remarks:
    • Your forehead needs its own solar panel.
    • How is your entire face on your chin?
    • Your forehead is the perfect spot for a game of tic-tac-toe.
    • You don’t have a big head, you’ve just got a lot of forehead real estate.
    • Your forehead is so big, you could rent it out as an Airbnb.
    • That’s not a forehead—-that’s a forecourt.
    • Why did the nose break up with the forehead? Because it couldn’t handle the pressure.
    • You look like Mr. Bean and the Grinch had a kid.
    • My phone crashed trying to load all of that forehead.
    • It must be so cool to be able to change the TV channels with your mind.
    • At least 5 to 6 hours your mom spent giving birth to you was for your forehead.
    • They could advertise billboards on your forehead.
    • God loved you so much that he gave you one face and started clearing off space for another.
    • Your forehead is so big, your Airpods are in different countries.
    • Your forehead is so big, your barber charges double for an edge-up.
    • Your forehead is so big, it says you have global warming when they take your temperature.
    • Your forehead is so big, Mount Everest is jealous.
    • I won’t say anything mean about your forehead, but I will say it looks like it’s hard for you to find a bike helmet that fits.
    • It would take Michelangelo four years to finish painting frescoes on your forehead.
    • You should charge rent for all that space on your forehead.
    • You’ve got such a big forehead, I bet your eyebrows appreciate all the wiggle room.
    • You could host the Olympics on your forehead.
    • Your forehead is large enough to rent out ad space.
    • You don’t have a forehead, you’ve got a fivehead… maybe even a sixhead.
Section 9 of 11:

Cinema-Sized Big Head Jokes

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  1. Save these for a friend whose head is cinematically big. Could their head even fit on the big screen? Does their head need its own private movie theater? These jokes are perfect for the cinephile big-head buddy:
    • Every time you sit in the theater, your head’s shadow takes over the entire screen!
    • Your head’s got more coverage than cable TV.
    • You could start your own cable network with that dome.
    • Your head is the reason they invented the widescreen format.
    • I have to buy two tickets for the movies: one for my head and one for the rest of me!
    • Your forehead could double as a projection screen.
    • You know you’ve got a big head when the movie screen can’t even compare to it!
    • The only hat that fits you is a satellite dish.
    • You could host a movie on that forehead.
    • Your head is so big, when you go to the movies, it needs a theater all to itself.
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Section 10 of 11:

Big Head Joke Comebacks

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  1. On the receiving end of a big head joke? Here’s what to say back! Anyone who dishes a big head joke better be prepared for a taste of their own medicine, and we can help with that too! Whether you want to turn an insult about having a big head into a compliment, prove you can take a joke yourself, or throw back an equally clever and scathing remark, respond with these witty comebacks:
    • Insult: You’ve got a huge head!
      • Comeback: Thanks! There’s a brain in there. What’s your excuse?
    • Insult: Your head is so big, it needs its own zipcode.
      • Comeback: I love my big head! It makes me who I am.
    • Insult: Your head is so big, it’s like a planet.
      • Comeback: Well, at least I’m not orbiting around your ego!
    • Insult: Is that a watermelon on your neck?
      • Comeback: No, it’s actually just my head—but thanks for the compliment!
    • Insult: Your head is so big, it’s like a balloon.
      • Comeback: Well, at least I’m not deflated by your rudeness!
    • Insult: Your head is the reason they invented the widescreen format.
      • Comeback: Did you just Google that? Your originality is truly inspiring.
    • Insult: Your head is so big, it’s got its own gravity.
      • Comeback: That’s why everybody is drawn to me!
    • Insult: You’ve got a ginormous head, you know that?
      • Comeback: That’s because I’ve got a lot of brainpower!
    • Insult: You don’t have a forehead—you have a fivehead!
      • Comeback: It’s actually a sixhead, thank you very much!
    • Insult: Your head is bigger than the sun.
      • Comeback: Big head, big brains. You wouldn’t get it.
    • Insult: Your head is gigantic!
      • Comeback: And yet I’m still better looking than you!
    • Insult: You’ve got the biggest head I’ve ever seen!
      • Comeback: And you’ve got the biggest mouth I’ve ever seen!
Section 11 of 11:

How to Joke Around without Hurting Anyone’s Feelings

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  1. Hey, not everyone likes to have it pointed out how big their head is. And that’s understandable! These jokes are funny, but not if the person you’re telling them to is sensitive about their appearance. If you don’t know the person you’re making fun of well, or if you suspect they wouldn’t appreciate a joke at their expense, zip it.
  2. 2
    Target yourself in addition to (or instead of) others. Self-deprecating humor is a great way to joke around while ensuring you’re not hurting anyone’s feelings. Or, if you want to rib some of your good buddies, even the score by also making fun of yourself: it’ll show them you’re all on the same level, and that you’re not punching down so much as punching across. [2]
  3. 3
    If you want to dish it, be sure you can take it. Jokes at other people’s expense may or may not get you into hot water, but nobody wants to hear cracks from someone who can’t gracefully receive them in return. If you’re prepared to dish it out, be ready for a taste of your own medicine.
  4. Keep an eye out for how people are taking your jokes: even if nobody says, “Hey, knock it off,” their body language can tell you a lot about whether they’re really enjoying what you’re saying or if they’re silently tolerating it.
    • Does their smile seem genuine? You can tell if a smile is genuine if it reaches the eyes: a real smile engages the whole face, including the eyes, while a fake smile usually only engages the mouth muscles.
    • Is their posture open and relaxed? A person who’s genuinely having a good time will likely display a more relaxed, loose posture with their arms out or by their sides, while a person who’s uncomfortable will likely seem more physically closed off, with arms crossed, shoulders hunched, and body turned away from you. [3]
    • If someone does seem offended or voices discomfort, be gracious and empathetic, and back off immediately. Apologize sincerely, and let them know you won’t make the same jokes in the future: “I’m so sorry, I was messing around, but I took it too far. I won’t make these jokes anymore.”
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.hbs.edu/faculty/Pages/item.aspx?num=51589
      2. ↑ https://www.backstage.com/magazine/article/tips-help-standup-comedians-to-be-funny-without-being-offensive-72261/
      3. ↑ https://socialcommunication.truman.edu/attitudes-emotions/expressing-emotion/discomfort/

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