How to Bring the Honeymoon Phase Back

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If you’re a little nervous that you aren’t feeling the same sparks from when you first started dating, what can you do to bring them back? It’s perfectly normal for the honeymoon phase to fade after a few months or years, but that doesn’t mean all the romance is gone. You can still do a lot to have fun and make happy memories together and keep the feeling of your honeymoon phase going. Scroll down for a list of exciting ways to keep the romance alive in your relationship!

This article is based on an interview with our dating coach, John Keegan. Check out the full interview here.

1

Do something nice for your partner every day.

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    You could give them a compliment to start their morning good note, send them words of encouragement throughout a busy day, or do a chore for them without you asking. Staying involved in your partner’s life in little ways each day can help you deepen your connection again. [1]
    • Do something based on your partner’s love language. If their love language is acts of service, try cooking them a meal or running an errand they’ve been putting off. [2]
    • You could make a point to give them a big hug or cuddle them when you’re together.
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2

Go out on regular date nights.

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    Just because you’ve been with each other for a while doesn’t mean you have to stop going on dates. Try to plan a night every couple of weeks where you can do something exciting as a couple so you can bond and have fun together. Some date ideas could be: [3]
    • Going out for dinner
    • Seeing a new movie or play
    • Taking a walk through the park
    • If you want to save some money, have a date night at home! Plan a fun movie night or cook a delicious dinner together.
3

Try new activities together.

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    Doing something new with your partner actually sparks the same part of your brain when you first fell for them. Rather than falling into a routine with your partner, look for exciting opportunities that you can do together. Break your comfort zone and do something you normally wouldn’t do so you can grow and make fun, new memories. Some things you might try include: [4]
    • Playing a new board game
    • Visiting a local museum
    • Trying an intramural sport
    • Taking a dance class together
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4

Surprise your partner with a gift.

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    If you see something small that reminds you of your partner, consider getting it for them. It could be something they’ve mentioned in the past, their favorite drink from the coffee shop, or anything you see that makes you think of them. You don’t have to expect anything in return—just try to make your partner smile so they know that you still care. [5]
    • Bring home a bouquet of flowers for your spouse when they’re having a rough day.
    • Get them something they pointed out last time they were at the store to show that you’re paying attention to them.
5

Write each other love letters.

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    Even if you tell your partner how you feel in person, it will make them feel butterflies when you leave them a romantic note . Put all of your feelings down on paper and hide the letter some place where your partner will find it. You could even read it aloud to them to share a special moment together. [6]
    • Hide notes in places where your partner will find them. You could put them by their keys so they see your note before they leave, or you could pack it in their lunchbox so they have a surprise when they eat.
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6

Prioritize time for intimacy.

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    It’s normal for your sex life to slow down the longer you’re in a relationship, but you can still make time to be close and intimate with each other. If your intimacy doesn’t feel as spontaneous as it used to, try to mix it up and initiate when you’re in the mood so you can deepen your bond. [7]
    • Initiate sex at spontaneous times so you can keep your partner on their toes and reignite your romance.
    • Try using new positions or toys in the bedroom if you want to experiment with something new.
7

Plan a vacation (or staycation) together.

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    If you and your partner have had a small trip you’ve wanted to take, schedule a time where you can both get away and spend the time together. [8] That way, you break the routine of everyday life and can come back feeling refreshed and even closer to your partner. [9]
    • Take a camping trip out to a state park and explore nature together.
    • Drive up the coast for the weekend and check out a beach town.
    • Even if you can’t get out, plan a relaxing weekend at home with a movie marathon or go explore a part of town you haven’t been to before.
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8

Give each other space.

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    Even though you may share every moment with your partner, you should still have time to focus on your own interests and other relationships. Plan a few nights where you do something on your own or hang out with other friends. Your partner will love seeing you pursuing what you love and make them admire you more. [10]
9

Communicate with each other openly.

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    Opening up to your partner about what you need from the relationship is an important part of your relationship, so find a quiet time to talk with each other. [11] By keeping an open dialogue with each other, you won’t allow tension to build up and you can easily talk through issues as they come up.
    • Use “I” statements to talk about how you’re feeling so it never sounds like you’re blaming your partner for what you need.
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10

Check in with each other’s feelings.

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    Even if you feel like you’re not connecting as well as you were before, your partner may feel differently. Ask your partner about their emotions and be sure to listen to everything they have to say so you can respond to it. [12]
    • Don’t forget to open up about how you’re feeling too and let your partner know if there’s anything that they can do to help out.
11

Remind yourself of what you love about your partner.

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    Think about what traits you really value and what made you fall for them in the first place. Just remembering the good times you’ve had helps look forward to all the amazing experiences you’ll have in the future. [13]
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What Is a “Honeymoon Phase”?


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      References

      1. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 29 June 2021.
      2. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/ideas-for-keeping-romance-alive-year-round#how-to-prevent-fizzle
      3. ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-the-honeymoon-phase/
      4. ↑ Luis Congdon. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 13 September 2021.
      5. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/ideas-for-keeping-romance-alive-year-round
      6. ↑ Maya Diamond, MA. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview.
      7. ↑ https://www.abc.net.au/everyday/what-happens-when-your-relationship-loses-the-sexual-spark/10929576
      8. ↑ Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC. Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview. 18 September 2019.
      9. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/ideas-for-keeping-romance-alive-year-round
      1. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 29 June 2021.
      2. ↑ Mary Church, PhD. Research & Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 6 August 2021.
      3. ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-the-honeymoon-phase/
      4. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 29 June 2021.

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