How to Capture the Interest of a Nerdy Girl

Co-authored by Connell Barrett

Last Updated: June 30, 2024 References

If you have a crush on the nerdy girl at school or at work, you're probably wondering how to capture her attention. You might have been dreaming of being part of a nerdy super-team for years, but the main thing to remember is that winning her over is pretty much the same thing as it would be for any girl. And we're here for you every step of the way with our tips on how to get noticed by the nerdy girl of your dreams!

1

Check out her clothing and accessories.

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Her style choices can help you understand her interests. Some nerdy girls wear clothing with their favorite music, TV show, or reading series. They also may decorate their backpack, phone case, or locker with stickers or cut-outs from their nerdtastic favorites. Pay attention to your crush’s outfit so you can figure out what kind of shows, movies, cartoons, or music she enjoys. ^{[1]
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- For example, she may have a Harry Potter T-shirt and a Dr. Who pin on her bag.

2

Introduce yourself.

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The easiest way to get to know her is to simply say “hello.” Wave to her from across the hall, and politely introduce yourself. You can ask her how her day is going and if she’s read any good books lately. Start with kind small talk to break the ice and get to know each other better. ^{[2]
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- Reader Poll: We asked 799 wikiHow readers who've captured the attention of an introverted girl, and 74% of them agreed that the best way to show you're interested is by getting to know her as a friend first. [Take Poll]

3

Chat with her about the things she likes.

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Strike up a conversation so you can start building a friendship. Discuss things you know she likes based on your observations. Avoid asking simple “yes” or “no” questions so you can keep the conversation going. Talk to her in between classes, after school, or before work, for instance. ^{[3]
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- You can also research some of her interests to have more things to talk about. Read about the characters, history, or background information.
- For example, if she really likes Dr. Who, learn about a Tardis and who the current "Time Lord" is.

4

Join similar clubs as your crush to spend time together.

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Get involved if you share a common interest. A great way to get to know your crush further is to spend time together doing activities you both enjoy. Perhaps she is part of a local Dungeons and Dragons club, and you are also an avid player. Join the club as well, and play D&D with her and the other club members. This way, you can organically get to know her. ^{[4]
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- Other club ideas include video games, tabletop games, and book clubs.

Quiz

wikiHow Quiz: Does She Like Me?

Some girls can feel like a total mystery. How can you figure out if she likes you just as a friend or if she wants something more? Take this quiz to find out!

1 of 12

How do her friends treat you?

They told me that she likes me.

They giggle and laugh with her when I walk into the room.

They’ve mentioned her in conversation.

They haven’t done anything out of the ordinary (or I don't know them).

5

Wear flattering, attractive clothes so you look your best.

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Impress her with your confidence and unique style. You can wear things like graphic T-shirts and dark denim, for instance. Always choose garments that fit your form well and are not too tight or too baggy. Pick clothing you genuinely love so you feel confident! ^{[5]
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- You can also wear things like flannel shirts, sweaters, and beanies.

6

Let her know what nerdy things you're into.

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Demonstrating your passion for nerdy topics may get her interested in you. The easiest way to capture a nerdy girl's interest is to demonstrate that you are genuinely interested in nerdy things too. Don’t be afraid to show her your individuality and weirdness! As you converse, mention some of the nerdy things you really enjoy. You can ask her if she watched the latest Star Wars movie, for instance. ^{[6]
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- It’s okay if you have an extensive Pokemon collection or if you want to learn to speak Elvish. In fact, she may really like you for your authentic self, nerdy or not.
- You can also ask her if she likes reading manga or watching anime.

7

Compliment her regarding her intelligence.

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Let her know you value her brain. Say something like, “Wow, you’re so good at math,” or “I’m impressed you can read so fast!” Complimenting her intelligence will boost her confidence and make her think you are polite and sweet. Nerdy girls like guys they can trust, and compliments will make her feel good. ^{[7]
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Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.} ^{[8]
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- You can also mention how cool it is that she likes to play video games or dress up in cosplays.

8

Tell nerdy jokes to make her laugh and smile.

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Getting her to giggle is a great way to get her interested. Throughout your conversations, say silly comments or ask her funny questions to encourage smiles and laughs. Pay attention to what she thinks is funny so you'll be able to make her laugh next time. ^{[9]
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Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.}
- You can say a joke like, "How many ears does Mr. Spock have? Three: the right ear, the left ear, and the final front ear." ^{[10]
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9

Show kindness.

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Being thoughtful will make you more attractive to almost anyone. To get your crush interested, do small, kind gestures to show her you care. Hold the door open for her when possible, and ask her how she is or how her day is going. Let her borrow a comic book or video game you know she’ll really like. ^{[11]
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- Avoid doing overly romantic gestures until after you go on a date or 2. For example, give her a single rose after your first date.

10

Follow her on social media to stay in touch.

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Ask her if she uses social media like Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter. Then, follow or friend her on whatever option she prefers. You can keep up to date with her posts and photos, and you can send her a direct message to keep the conversation going. ^{[12]
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- For example, add your crush on Facebook, then DM her asking how her big test went.

11

Text her to be friendly and to make her smile.

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Ask for her phone number. Do this after you’ve spent some time together and know her fairly well, so this doesn’t seem awkward or unexpected. Then, shoot her a text when you want to say hello. ^{[13]
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Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.} ^{[14]
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Research source}
- You can say something like, “Hey Lindsay, I hope you’re having a great day.” or “What did you think of the ending of The Hobbit ?”
- In addition, you can call her to hang out again.
- Be mindful not to send too many texts. Keep the conversation going, but refrain from texting her again if she doesn’t text back. Wait a few days and then try again.

12

Ask her to go on a date when you feel comfortable.

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Make your move when the time is right. ^{[15]
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Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.} When you are ready to take your friendship to the next level, ask your crush if she wants to go to a movie or play a game together. Spending time together may make her like you more, and she may grow interested in you over time. Simply say something like, “Hey, Lisa, do you want to see the new Marvel movie this weekend?” ^{[16]
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- You can also play video games, read books together in the park, or take a walk and talk about your favorite series.
- If she is busy, request another time that may work.

13

Be respectful if she doesn’t seem interested.

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Your crush may shy and selective when it comes to dating, and that’s okay. If she's just quiet or shy but she seems interested in getting to know you better, keep being her friend. Over time, she may develop feelings for you. If she tells you she's not interested, though, respect what she says and give her space. ^{[17]
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Expert Q&A

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Question

How can I tell if a nerdy girl likes me?

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Connell Barrett is a Relationship Expert and the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation in New York City. Connell has over five years of experience as an international coach who helps men connect with women by unlocking their best, true, most confident selves. He is the author of the Amazon bestseller “Dating Sucks but You Don’t,” and has appeared on Good Morning America, the "Today" show, Access Hollywood, and in Best Life, Cosmopolitan, and The Oprah Magazine. In 2019 he was named Datezie.com's “New York City’s Best Male Dating Coach."

Connell Barrett

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Pay attention to her body language when you're holding a conversation with her. If she's making eye contact, leaning closer, or copying your posture, she may have a crush on you.

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Question

My crush is nerdy, and she likes books. How would I talk to her?

Community Answer

Ask her to recommend books for you and always ask her about the books she is reading. Start reading her genre, and read the series she is into. Then, casually make a reference to the book around her, or rave about how good it is. That will stimulate conversation!

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Question

I'm an eleven-year-old bookworm of a boy. How do I get an eleven-year-old science-nerdy girl to like me?

Community Answer

Start reading more science-related books. A good way to start a conversation is by asking her to confirm a science fact. If you are at the same school, get help from her occasionally or get reviews from her for your science project. Suggest a book group for her to join with you or offer to take her to a great science museum or documentary.

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Tips

Don’t take it personally if your nerdy crush expresses interest in a fictional character. If she is in love with Bruce Wayne, smile and laugh rather than taking offense. Remind yourself that they are not real and this doesn’t necessarily mean she isn’t interested in you too. ^{[18]
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How to Capture the Interest of a Nerdy Girl

Steps

Check out her clothing and accessories.

Introduce yourself.

Chat with her about the things she likes.

Join similar clubs as your crush to spend time together.

wikiHow Quiz: Does She Like Me?

How do her friends treat you?

Wear flattering, attractive clothes so you look your best.

Let her know what nerdy things you're into.

Compliment her regarding her intelligence.

Tell nerdy jokes to make her laugh and smile.

Show kindness.

Follow her on social media to stay in touch.

Text her to be friendly and to make her smile.

Ask her to go on a date when you feel comfortable.

Be respectful if she doesn’t seem interested.

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