How Can I Help? 13 Comforting Ways to Cheer Up an Introvert

Co-authored by Nicolette Tura, MA

Last Updated: January 9, 2022 References

If you’ve got an introverted friend, they’re probably more quiet, reserved, and thoughtful than some of your more outgoing friends. They like doing certain things at their own pace, which is easy to support, but what do you do when they’re upset or down? Don’t worry. The good news is there are actually plenty of ways you can cheer them up. To help you out, we’ve put together a list of tips and strategies you can use to boost their mood without being too pushy.

1

Reach out by text, social media, or email.

Phone conversations can be really taxing for introverts. ^{[1]
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Expert Source

Nicolette Tura, MA
Empowerment Coach

Expert Interview} If you’re looking to cheer up an introverted person, the last thing you should do is call them up out of the blue. It could make your friend more anxious and they’re unlikely to answer. Instead, check-in by shooting them a text, a message through social media, or even an email. That way, they can respond on their own time. ^{[2]
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- You could try, “Hey, was just thinking about you. How are you doing?”
- You could also keep it a little more casual with, “Hey you. Whatcha up to?”
- An introverted person may really appreciate you giving them the time and space they need to respond to you.
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2

Send them a cute or funny photo.

Make their day with a random text message. Text them a picture of an adorable kitten or a funny meme that you know will strike a chord with their sense of humor. It’ll put a smile on their face and it may make your friend feel a little better. They may even feel more comfortable talking to and spending time with you, which can allow you to cheer them up even more! ^{[3]
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- For instance, if your friend is a Trekkie, you could send them a meme with Captain Picard that will make them laugh.
- You could also send a motivational meme or quote, or just tell your friend that you’re thinking of them.

3

Invite your friend to do something they enjoy.

Introverts often love mentally stimulating activities. Steer clear of inviting an introvert out to a crowded bar, concert, or party. Try coaxing them to come with you somewhere like a museum, an art gallery, a library, or a poetry reading. Choose an activity that is relatively quiet, mentally stimulating, and isn’t populated with a lot of energetic people. ^{[4]
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- Keep it simple and low-pressure with, “Hey, there’s this cool exhibit on medieval swords at the museum in town today, do you want to check it out?”
- You could also give them some introvert-friendly options and ask what they’d like to do. For instance, you could say, “There’s a poetry reading at the coffee shop across town and the library just opened up a new reading room. Do you want to check either of them out?”
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4

Check with them before you invite more people over.

They’ll appreciate you considering their feelings. If you’re hanging out with an introverted person or you’re making plans to go do something, always ask about inviting more people first. Introverts may need some time to mentally prepare to be around other people, so avoid trying to spring more people on them to cheer them up. It could seriously backfire. ^{[5]
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- You don’t have to make a big deal out of it either. Try something simple like, “Hey do you mind if we invite Jack and Sarah? No worries if not, just wanted to check with you first.”
- Keep in mind that for some people, having a bunch of friends over could really boost their mood. But for introverts, it could be overwhelming, especially if they’re already down or upset.

5

Make an effort to get into their hobbies.

Spend some time doing things they like to do. Introverts often have hobbies that are a little more quiet and solitary than other people, such as reading, playing music, writing poetry, or playing a board or video game. Rather than trying to get them to do something with you, get on their level. Ask your friend if you can try out their hobbies with them. They may love your eagerness to learn more about what they enjoy doing and it could really cheer them up to have a friend there with them. ^{[6]
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- For instance, if your introverted friend is super into playing RPG (role-playing games) video games, try playing it with them. Who knows, you might become an enthusiast yourself!
- If you aren’t sure what they’re into, try asking, “What do you like to do in your spare time? I’m down to check it out.”
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6

Talk to your friend about what’s bothering them.

Let them know they can share their feelings with you. Your introverted friend or loved one could be dealing with something difficult. Tell them that if they want to talk, they can trust you and you’re there for anything they need. If your friend feels comfortable discussing their feelings with you, give them your full attention. ^{[7]
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- It can be tough for an introverted person to reach out for help. Try asking your friend if they want to grab a cup of coffee or just sit and chat.

7

Have a meaningful conversation with your friend.

Introverts often aren’t the biggest fans of small talk. Avoid talking about the weather or the latest sports game or it could make them feel worse if they’re already down or upset. Instead, try asking questions about serious or heavy topics. They may enjoy the stimulating conversation and it could really brighten their mood. ^{[8]
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- For instance, you could ask, “What’s something really interesting you learned lately?” or “Do you think aliens are real?” or even “What do you think happens after we die?”
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8

Ask for their opinion but give them time to answer.

Introverts often need some time to think things through. Just because someone is introverted doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy talking or sharing their insight about something! They just may not be able to give you a perfect answer right away, so whenever you do ask an introvert what they think about something, make sure you tell your loved one that it’s totally cool if they need some time to think it over. They’ll really appreciate that you both value their insight and are considerate of their needs. ^{[9]
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- You could try, “Hey I was wondering if I could get your opinion on something, and you don’t have to get me an answer right now. Is that okay?”

9

Avoid interrupting your introverted friend.

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Expert Source

Nicolette Tura, MA
Empowerment Coach

Expert Interview} If you’ve managed to get your introverted friend talking, let them go! That means you’ve succeeded in boosting their mood and confidence. If you interrupt them, it could throw off their train of thought and they may shut back down again. ^{[11]
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10

Tell your friend they don’t have to talk if they don’t want to.

Relieve them of any sense of obligation. It’s normal for people to sometimes feel the need to fill the silence or try to talk to fill awkward pauses. It can actually make an introvert feel anxious if they think you’re expecting them to say something. Make it clear that they don’t have to say anything at all unless they want to. ^{[12]
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- You could try, “You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. It’s completely fine.”
- You could also keep it casual with, “It’s all good if you don’t want to say anything. I’m cool.”
- Sometimes the best way to be there for an introvert is to literally just be there. If they aren’t really interested in talking or doing something, just sit in the same room with them. That way, they know they have a companion there for them if they need anything.

11

Respect their need for alone time.

It can help your friend trust and feel comfortable around you. If they tell you that they could use some alone time, don’t try to force the issue. Just tell them that’s fine and give them the space they need. If they decline your invitation to go somewhere or do something, don’t make a big deal out of it. Tell them it’s no problem and don’t put any pressure on them. They may feel happier just by knowing that you understand them. ^{[13]
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- For instance, if your friend asks you to leave or turns down your invite, try something like, “Okay, no problem at all. Let me know if you need anything and if you change your mind, the offer still stands.”
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12

Bail them out of a social situation if they feel trapped.

Ask them if they’ve reached their limit and want to leave. Introverted people can have a limited amount of social interaction they can handle, and when they run out, they can easily start to feel overwhelmed or stressed out. If you notice that your introverted friend is starting to get upset or anxious, ask them if they’ve had enough and if they’re ready to go. They’ll appreciate your consideration and they may even see you as their hero! ^{[14]
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- Bailing an introvert out of a social situation when they’ve reached their limit is a surefire way to cheer them up.

13

Tell them you love them no matter what.

Just like anybody else, introverts want to feel cared for. Let them know that being introverted isn’t a problem and that there’s nothing wrong with them. Tell them you love and support them no matter how they’re feeling or what they need. It could really brighten their mood and cheer them up to know that you have their back. ^{[15]
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- Try saying, “I totally get that sometimes you’re just not up to do something. It doesn’t matter. I still love you and I’ll always love you.”
- You can also keep it really simple with, “Look, it’s okay, I love you.”
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Tips

Try asking them what you can do. If they need some kind of specific support, they’ll tell you. If they just want their space, that’s okay, too. Give them whatever they need.

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Warnings

Keep in mind that what could be considered fun for extroverted people, such as surprise parties, loud concerts, or karaoke could be really stressful and anxiety-inducing for an introvert. Don’t try to force them to do something they don’t want to do.

Thanks
Helpful 12 Not Helpful 4

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Expert Source

Nicolette Tura, MA
Empowerment Coach

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