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One popular trend today is medium to long length hair for males. There are many young males who long to grow out their locks. But what happens when your parents are completely opposed to the long hair trend? There are many ways to help your parents see your side of the argument. It will just take a bit of planning and foresight.
Steps
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Prove that you are deserving. When you're able to prove to your parents that you are a mature, responsible and upstanding young man, they will be more likely to give you more leeway. Try not to break any rules and try to take on more responsibilities; this will allow your parents to see you in a different light. [1] X Research source
- Figure out small tasks that your parents would see as acting with responsibility. For example, add a chore like washing the dishes, or cleaning your room without having to be told to.
- Always keep your promise. Nothing shows a lack of maturity more than not doing what you said you would do. Always do what you've promised--and more.
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Explain the importance of individuality. As early as the 18th century, people started seeing their hair as a form of self-expression. [2] X Research source Explain to your parents that having long hair shows that you are not influenced by others, shows that you're confident enough to make important decisions, and explain that it would simply make you happier. [3] X Research source
- Give examples that support your argument such as afros, mohawks, and dreadlocks. These are just a few examples of how people have used their hairstyle as a way to express who they are.
- Explain that your uniqueness should not be hidden. When people try to change themselves to fit others' perspectives, it can be damaging to their self-esteem. [4] X Research source Your parents wouldn't want that to happen. Right?
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Show them pictures of famous people with long hair. Find well-known individuals with a "clean image" to help support your argument that there are many "good people" that have (or have had) long hair.
- Some respected Hollywood actors with long hair include Johnny Depp, Chris Hemsworth, Hugh Jackman and Cole and Dylan Sprouse.
- Don't limit your examples to modern celebrities. Try finding well-known people that your parents might know and respect. For example, singer David Bowie, former Beatle John Lennon or even the religious figure Jesus Christ.
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Find old pictures of your parents. The goal is to remind them of their own hair battles in order to gain some sympathy from them.Your dad probably had either an afro or long hair back in the 60s, 70s or early 80s when they were in style. Even your mom may have had a hairstyle that her parents thought was taboo.
- Even if you don't have pictures to support your argument, you can still make the case that your parents didn't always agree with their parents. The same argument can be made for clothes, cars, music and more. The goal is to make them remember how important these decisions can be.
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Respond to a religious-based argument. Your parents might argue that the Bible forbids men from wearing their hair long. You can counter that argument by using the Bible as well. Show your parents places where rules from the Bible are not followed in today's society. Additionally, you can use text that supports your rights as a child.
- For example, you can argue that the Bible states that women should wear headdresses as a sign of submission to their husbands. Most modern women don't do this, but they are not seen as being in opposition to the Bible.
- Additionally, Ephesians 6:4 says, "Do not exasperate your children." Parents should take the biblical advice and learn to pick their battles with their children. According to the Bible, parents should try not to apply too much control over minor issues in their children's lives.
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Respond to the claim that you'll be teased. Parents might worry that you'll be called a girl or gay because your hair is long. Respond to this by reminding your parents that you are mature enough to not believe these sexist stereotypes. Also, reassure your parents that you are strong enough and confident enough to handle teasing.
- Reassure your parents that you are able to assert yourself in the face of teasing. Show them that you are able to not only point out bullying, but to tell the aggressor to stop.
- Show your parents that you are mature enough to ignore bullying. By walking away or looking disinterested, you take away the bully's power and help stop the teasing.
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Respond to the argument that long hair isn't professional. Tell your parents that this is discriminatory and that there is no correlation between the length of someone's hair and their professionalism. [5] X Research source In addition, you can remind them that you're just a kid and that you can always cut your hair when it's time for you to move into the business world.
- You can use women's hair as an example. Straight hair is often seen as more professional on women but that doesn't determine her capabilities.
- Tattoos are also a great example of individuality, and their place in the business world is hotly debated. But remind your parents that there are doctors, teachers, and business people with tattoos. Their personal style is not a reflection of their abilities.
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Respond to the argument that people will judge your parents. Your parents may argue that people will think they are "bad parents" for allowing you to grow out your hair. But remind them that everyone will always have an opinion about parenting, and all that matters is if their children are safe, happy, and successful.
- Remind your parents that they should be confident in their parenting and able to stand up to criticism and bullying--just like you.
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Choose the right time. Never talk to your parents when they are angry or stressed--they'll be less likely to listen to your arguments, and even less likely to say yes to your requests. [6] X Research source Plan ahead of time and choose a time that allows for a conversation that isn't tense or rushed.
- Plan ahead of time by choosing both a time and place that will make you relaxed and comfortable.
- It also helps to plan what you will say ahead of time. Choose your arguments, research your topics, and even write out a script to prepare yourself. [7] X Research source
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Don't get emotional. Although it may be a topic about which you're passionate, avoid getting angry or begging. Try to speak in a level tone without raising your voice, and make sure you present your arguments--by stating the facts, you're able to avoid emotional appeals.
- Avoid raising your voice, whining, interrupting, storming off, and slamming doors. [8] X Research source
- If your emotions start to get the best of you, take a deep breath and take a small break from the conversation. Come back to it only when you are composed and ready to continue. [9] X Research source
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Use "I" statements. I statements help you to make an assertive statement without the receiving party becoming defensive and closed off. Listen to your parents' argument, describe how you feel, how the decision affects you, and how you hope for it to change.
- For example, you can start the conversation by saying "I feel that I'm mature enough to grow out my hair."
- Follow it up with "I feel like a child when I'm not allowed to make decisions about my personal style."
- Lastly say something like, "I would like to grow my hair out to prove to you that I am still a responsible and mature individual."
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Be willing to compromise. Be willing to "meet in the middle." Not only does compromising show that you are mature, but it can keep both parties happy. [10] X Research source Promise that you won't grow your hair any longer than shoulder length, or agree that you won't add any wild colors or styles.
- Promise that you'll get your hair cut every once in a while, trim dead ends, keep your hair looking nice, etc.
- Remind them, that long hair can always be cut, so it's not like you're trying to make a permanent change.
- Use your long hair as a bargaining method. For example, tell your parents that you will cut your hair if your behavior worsens or you become irresponsible.
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Be prepared for a no. If your parents say no, politely ask what it would take to change their answer into a yes. Avoid being annoying but be persistent. You can also ask for a "delayed response," meaning asking your parents to revisit the answer later. [11] X Research source If you receive a no, you have two options: obey your parents and cut your hair or disobey them and grow your hair out anyway.
- Following your parents' wishes could work to your advantage in the end. You could use it as an argument to show how well-behaved and mature you have been--even when you didn't get your way.
- Following your parents' wishes could also result in no change at all. They may prefer the way you look with haircuts and continue to require them.
- If you choose to disobey your parents, they may look at it as a sign of rebellion and punish you for it.
- It's not very likely that your parents will see your long hair and instantly fall in love with it.
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Tips
- Keep your hair well groomed while growing it out. It will help your parents realize that the style isn't as bad as they think and show it won't cause hygiene issues.Thanks
- Use your manners when asking. Don't get angry, name call or yell if they say no. Use your manners, stay calm and continue to be polite.Thanks
- If your parents continue to say no to the idea, you'll just have to give up. Sometimes parents are firm on their beliefs.Thanks
Tips from our Readers
The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
- Respectfully accept when your parents say no. Since you’ve put the idea into their mind, they may eventually say yes after thinking about it for a while.
- If your parents say no, try to find out if any of your family members who your parents liked had long hair, and use them as an example.
- Tell your parents you’re just doing an experiment, and explain that if you don't like it you’re prepared to cut it off.
- Try showing them pictures of what hairstyle you are going for, so they can see whether or not they think it's appropriate.
- Try tying your hair up during the “awkward” growing out phase, since it will likely be uneven.
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Warnings
- Avoid begging your parents. It will have the opposite effect and may even get you in trouble.Thanks
- If you choose to disobey your parents and grow your hair out, be prepared for disciplinary consequences to follow.Thanks
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Things You'll Need
- Communication skills
- Understanding parents
- Old pictures of your parents
- Research
References
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/hanaan-rosenthal/advice-for-teens_b_2037523.html
- ↑ https://www.kent.edu/museum/event/hair-rise-individuality-1790-1840
- ↑ http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/5-reasons-your-individuality-is-important
- ↑ http://selfesteem.dove.us/Articles/Written/celebrate-uniqueness.aspx
- ↑ http://workplace.stackexchange.com/questions/1751/whats-the-correlation-between-guys-with-longer-hair-and-professionalism
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/hanaan-rosenthal/advice-for-teens_b_2037523.html
- ↑ http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/conditions/time-talk-talking-your-parents
- ↑ http://www.teenissues.co.uk/copingwithstrictparents.html
- ↑ http://www.insperity.com/blog/9-crucial-rules-to-remember-when-having-difficult-conversations-with-employees/
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