How to Cope with Blushing

Some people fear blushing as much as others fear getting in car accidents or snakes. But they don’t have to. Understanding why we blush and how to deal with it in social situations can actually help minimize how often you blush, making life just a little bit more pleasant, and social situations seem less daunting.

Method 1
Method 1 of 3:

Coping with Blushing in Social Situations

  1. Since most people blush because they feel embarrassed, calling attention to the blush can help you turn off the extra flow of blood to your face. Once you point it out, you will discover how others see it, which is indifference in many cases. When you see that others don’t mind your blush, your sense of embarrassment will decrease, helping the blush to go away more quickly.
    • If you tend to blush easily and want to minimize comments about this, you might say something the next time you blush, like, “Yes, my skin is turning red. It just does this when I get embarrassed or feel stressed.”
  2. If you feel your neck and cheeks getting that tell-tale blushing sensation, instead of getting embarrassed and running away, make a joke about it or chuckle about your change in skin tone. Coming up with a one-line explanation of your idiosyncrasy and sharing it before others have the chance to say anything about it can also minimize your embarrassment. [1]
    • Make a joke out of your red skin color, like, “Man, I just turned as red as the ketchup bottle!”
    • Laugh at the situation, saying something like, “Just thinking about that makes me turn red!”
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  3. Blushing can be embarrassing in its own right, and it can make you want to run away. In some cases, you can actually do this. If you are in a situation where you are not required to be present, grab a moment when no one is looking at you and duck out of the room or area. Once you are away from people, you can take a moment to calm yourself down and wait until the blush dies away before returning.
    • Visualize yourself without the blush to help turn your blushing reflex off.
  4. Although you can cope with a blushing situation by drawing attention to the blush so that people stop being curious or making fun of you, you can also choose to avoid drawing attention to your red face by distracting people to focus their attention somewhere else. You can do this by pointing to an interesting sight, or recruiting a companion to help you out in embarrassing situations.
    • You can set up a system with a companion where you signal them and they come up with a distraction that will last until your blush fades.
    • This signal to your friend can be opening your eyes wide, nodding your head, or even a phrase you both recognize, like “it’s hot today.”
  5. Studies show that your mood and emotions can be dictated by your facial expression, even if you feel a different way than what your face says. For example, if you make a concentrated effort to smile more, you are more likely to feel happier more often. [2]
    • If you are tempted to blush with embarrassed, put on a facial expression that is the opposite, such as a confident smile instead of a frown or furrowed brow.
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Method 2
Method 2 of 3:

Coping with Chronic Blushing

  1. Blushing is a normal physiological response to awkward situations. Although some people do suffer from chronic blushing—blushing frequently for unobvious reasons—recognizing that it is a normal part of the human physiology can be a way to help your stop trying to control it. [3]
    • Trying to force yourself to stop doing something can often backfire, causing no change or even an increase in symptoms. Letting go of this control often allows your body to relax.
    • Tell yourself that this is what your body does by adopting a personal mantra like, “This is just what my body does. I don’t like that I do this, but it’s just the way I am.”
  2. Another way to deal with frequent blushing that lacks a specific cause is to try to make yourself blush at specific times. Pick three times a day and try to make yourself blush for about 5 minutes at a time. Write down each time that you successfully make yourself blush. [4]
    • This exercise shows that you have more control over blushing than you thought you did, and helps you accept the uncertainty of blushing when you don’t mean to.
    • Try to blush a few times a day at home at first, but transition to blushing on command when out in public as well.
    • Keep a tally of the times you blush, both on command and when you blush without meaning to. It may be helpful to keep two lists for each type of blushing so you can see if your accidental blushing decreases.
  3. Take a look at your feelings about blushing by writing in a journal or talking to someone, like a trusted friend or a counselor. Ask yourself things like what blushing means to you, why you think that you blush, and what the consequences of blushing are in various contexts.
    • One therapy technique asks you to make a worst-case scenario so that you can see how things are not as bad as fear tells you they are. [5]
    • Exploring your motivations for specific actions helps you to prioritize your behaviors and change them for the better.
  4. Don’t beat yourself up when you blush. Listen to your self-talk the next time that you blush. It is likely negative talk, and if so, you should make an effort to transform this inner critic into a positive one. Punishing yourself with negative talk can make you get into a cycle of shame that makes you repeat the unwanted behavior. Forgiving yourself is the key to halting such behaviors. [6]
    • Instead, treat yourself like you would treat a friend who came to you with sadness over doing something they didn’t want to do. You would listen to them and remind them of their good qualities, wouldn’t you? Do this for yourself after (and during) blushing.
  5. Sometimes you can’t solve chronic blushing on your own, and that’s ok. A type of therapy called cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) can help patients understand why they blush, and train their minds to think differently about it. Some CBT therapists point to the root cause of chronic blushing as social anxiety, which they can treat patients for in regular sessions. [7]
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Method 3
Method 3 of 3:

Understanding Why You Blush

  1. Many therapists have found that the root cause of blushing is social anxiety. This is because they have found a direct correlation: treating patients for social anxiety makes them stop blushing. Some say that you keep blushing due to anxiety, and changing the way you think about your anxiety will make the blushing resolve as a byproduct. [8]
    • Cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) is a type of therapy that re-trains your mind to believe, to think, and to feel a different way about the things that trigger your social anxiety.
    • For example, if you avoid going into rooms with a high number of people in them, CBT shows you that going into that room isn’t as scary as you thought. It shows you that avoiding that room actually makes you more anxious.
    • CBT helps you take control of your anxieties instead of letting them control you.
  2. Although blushing is an action of your physical body, it occurs because of an emotional response. Chronic blushers do not always understand why they blush, and sometimes the reason can be traced to a traumatic experience years before that led to a reaction of blushing. [9]
    • Although you may not feel the same way as you used to about this situation, references to it or similar experiences can make your face flame up with a red-hot blush.
    • Understanding that you are having an emotional reaction rather than a logical one can help you understand your reason for blushing.
  3. Sometimes specific situations, comments, or experiences can make you blush. If you can recognize a blushing trigger before you blush, you may be able to avoid blushing altogether. Things like being put on the spot, feeling embarrassed, or fearing that you are going to blush can be triggers of blushing.
    • Write down when you blush and what caused it. After a few weeks or months, look at this list and recognize your blushing triggers.
  4. Humans are designed to blush. Blushing has been found to soften social blows because they invite compassion. They can also be interpreted as signs of being genuine, which recruits people to your side rather than alienates them. In fact, blushing tends to soothe betrayals and mistakes rather than make them worse. [10]
    • Once you see that blushing is actually a good thing, you can stop fearing that you will blush.
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      Tips

      • Try to face your fears rather than running away when you start to feel a blush rising in your cheeks. Remember that running away from a problem might be effective, but it doesn't usually solve anything. Also keep in mind that things aren't usually quite as bad as you think they are.
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      Warnings

      • If you use the strategy of humor or laughing to get rid of your blush, don’t make a joke at the expense of others. It can be tempting to do this because it can be an easy way out, but this defeats the purpose of blushing, which is a physiological response to encourage sympathy in others.
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      • Excessive blushing can be a sign of a medical condition unrelated to blushing. If you have symptoms that come along with a blush on your face, contact a doctor. If you blush without any visible trigger, evaluate your body for signs of these other conditions:
        • Rosacea symptoms include blushing, persistent redness, visible veins, and bumps and pimples. [11]
        • A red face can also be the result of drinking alcohol, a fever, reaction to medication, menopause, Cushing's disease, and carcinoid syndrome. [12]
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/shyness-is-nice/201309/fear-blushing
      2. ↑ http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/smile-it-could-make-you-happier/
      3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/shyness-is-nice/201309/fear-blushing
      4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/shyness-is-nice/201309/fear-blushing
      5. ↑ http://cogbtherapy.com/cbt-blog/5-steps-to-stop-worrying
      6. ↑ https://health.usnews.com/health-news/patient-advice/articles/2015/04/29/breaking-the-cycle-of-shame-a-future-beyond-our-own-blue-dresses
      7. ↑ https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/blushing-social-anxiety
      8. ↑ https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/blushing-social-anxiety
      9. ↑ https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/blushing-social-anxiety
      1. ↑ http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/02/health/02mind.html?_r=1
      2. ↑ http://www.rosacea.org/patients/allaboutrosacea.php
      3. ↑ http://www.healthline.com/health/skin-blushing-flushing

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