How to Create Chemistry with a Girl over Text

Co-authored by John Keegan

Last Updated: May 30, 2024 Fact Checked

Good chemistry is a huge part of being compatible with someone, but can you build it over text? Absolutely! Texting offers so many ways to get to know someone and flirt. If you're crushing on a girl and want to up the tension, all you have to do is take an interest in her and lay on the charm. Luckily, this article has plenty of tips to help you do both.

1

Text her interesting conversation starters.

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This will catch her interest more than "Hey" or "What's up?" Add specific details about your plans that day or what you're up to at that moment. It will increase your chances of getting a reply and help you establish a fun rapport in the beginning of your text conversation. ^{[1]
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- Instead of saying "Good morning," text, "I just made the best breakfast of my life. Also, good morning 🙂"
- You might also try, "I had the strangest interaction with a customer at work today" or "You're never gonna guess what I just saw on my walk..." Both include details that will intrigue her and encourage her to reply.

2

Use her name in conversation.

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This makes your texts seem more flirtatious and personal to her. Everyone, including cute girls, loves the sound (and sight) of their own name. Every now and then, address her by name in your texts. She'll automatically feel like the two of you are a little closer and more comfortable with each other, which is necessary to strengthen your chemistry. ^{[2]
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- You might say, "Hey Jenni! What've you been up to?"
- Avoid overdoing this. Using her name in every text won't feel natural. Instead, try addressing her by name once per conversation.

3

Give her some flirty compliments.

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This helps you take things in a more romantically charged direction. Think about what you like about her and be specific. You might like her bold fashion sense, her witty sense of humor, or her cute freckles. Receiving compliments that seem unique to her will make her feel special. You'll make her blush and she'll want to get closer to such an observant, charming person like yourself. ^{[3]
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- Say something like, "You've got a really nice smile" or "You look so cute in that picture 😊 Was that at the pumpkin patch?"
- If you're comfortable, let her know how attractive she is to you. You might text, "You're gorgeous. You know that don't you?" or "You're so pretty."

4

Tease her a little bit.

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This is another way to get a little more flirty. Teasing a girl can be a fun way to get her attention. ^{[4]
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Research source} Just make sure you tease her about something harmless, like her cute laugh or her over-the-top love of Harry Styles. She'll enjoy the attention and will tease you right back, which will create a fun back and forth between the two of you. ^{[5]
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- Say something like, "What do I have to do to get you to like me as much as you like makeup tutorials..." or "I watched that movie you recommended and now I'm obsessed. What have you done to me?!"
- Avoid teasing her about things that might feel a little more personal, like her looks or her intelligence. Focus on having fun and being flirty.

5

Come up with some inside jokes.

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Playful banter can really up the chemistry. All you need to start an inside joke with someone is a shared interest or experience together. That might look like making fun of a reality TV show that you both love to hate or exchanging funny memes. Joking back and forth like this will establish a stronger connection between the two of you. ^{[6]
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- Maybe you both like watching cooking videos on YouTube. Send her a funny text like, "I just tried the recipe from that YouTube video you showed me. First question: what made you think I could handle this challenge!?"
- Perhaps you both think SpongeBob SquarePants memes are hilarious. Text her a funny one with a caption like, "I've found it. The best SpongeBob meme. Unless you've got a better one..."

6

Show an interest in her passions.

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Part of building chemistry is getting to know someone better. Show her that you'd like to know more about her by taking an interest in what she likes to do. You might try asking questions about her hobbies and goals or bringing up an interest of hers in conversation. She'll be flattered that you want to get to know her more and she'll likely try to get closer to you in response. ^{[7]
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- Text her something like, "That view you posted on Instagram was amazing! Can you tell me your favorite hiking spot or is that a secret?"
- Alternatively, follow up on something that she mentioned in an earlier conversation. Try, "After you mentioned that album I went ahead and checked it out. It was awesome. Thanks for the recommendation!"
- Be open about your passions, too, so that she can get to know you better. You'll get closer by talking about both of your interests.

7

Use emojis to make your texts extra flirty.

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Opt for 1-2 per conversation so that they feel special. Emojis are a fantastic way to make a flirty text even flirtier (😉, for example). Next time you're texting back and forth, try adding a flirtatious emoji to up the romantic tension. She'll know exactly what it means and will probably respond with a flirty text of her own. ^{[8]
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- Flirty emojis you might try include 😈, 👀, and 😏.
- Just remember to use them sparingly (1-2 per conversation). Overdoing it might make you look too eager, which could turn her off.

8

Be a little sexually suggestive if you're comfortable.

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Include some innuendo in your messages to turn up the heat. Just make sure you match her comfort level and don't go too far (now is not the time to send an unsolicited picture). To gauge her interest, start out with a subtle reference or remark. If she's into it, she'll respond with some suggestive texts of her own. ^{[9]
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- You could try, "I really liked that picture you posted. You're too cute 😏" or "I can't get you off my mind. Wish I was with you now..."
- You might also try texting her later in the evening (anytime after 5:00 pm). She'll likely be off work and open to getting a little flirtier.
- If she responds with a cordial text without any suggestive details, don't fret. Texting like this just might not be her thing. Hold off on any more suggestive texts and focus on getting to know each other better.

9

Be the first to end the conversation.

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Leave the conversation on a high note to make her want you more. Part of building chemistry is the push and pull of attraction. ^{[10]
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Research source} Even if you want to text all day, every day, leave her wanting more to establish this dynamic. After you've been texting for a few hours, tell her that you've got to go. Don't forget to let her know that you're looking forward to talking again soon. Since the conversation was going well, she'll miss you and be excited to talk again.
- Say something like, "I've gotta go, but keep me posted on that art project you're working on!" or "I've got to head out for the night, but it was so fun catching up. Talk to you tomorrow 🙂"
- If you keep a text conversation going for too long, it might get a little boring. So, keep it light and playful. This can make the sparks you were feeling earlier start to fizzle out. ^{[11]
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- Keep texting if there’s a constant conversation going on. You don't necessarily have to finish it off with a “goodnight” text, because that might end a whole conversation.

10

Ask her to meet in person.

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Chemistry can only go so far over text. To take things to the next level, ask your crush out on a date. Rather than simply asking if she wants to go out sometime, include concrete plans in your ask. This helps you come across as more confident and direct, which helps boost the tension between the two of you. She'll be into the fact that you took action and planned something. ^{[12]
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- You might say, "There's a 7:30 pm showing of Dune this Friday. Want to go together?" or "What are you up to on Saturday night? If you're free I can make us a reservation at this new restaurant."
EXPERT TIP

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Successful relationships are built on in-person interactions. Texting can be a great way to connect, but it can really hinder your ability to develop real-life communication skills. That's why transitioning to an in-person date is so important!

11

Tell her that you're looking forward to seeing her.

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This heightens the anticipation between the two of you. After you ask her out, send a follow-up text a day before your date to show that you're excited to see her. It'll give you a chance to bond over how much you want to hang out with each other, which is a surefire way to increase the tension. ^{[13]
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- Text her, "Can't wait to check out that restaurant tomorrow. Excited to see you, too" or "Looking forward to seeing that movie with you. So glad we'll have each other if it gets too scary 😉"

12

Proofread your texts before you send them.

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An unfortunate typo can kill the sparks. Sometimes they can't be avoided, but if you send a bunch in a row, your crush may struggle to take you seriously. Think of your texts like well-crafted love letters of the 21st century and read them over before you hit send. She'll be impressed by your way with words and will want to keep on texting.
- Everyone misses the occasional typo (thank you, AutoCorrect). If you send a text and realize that you misspelled something, don't sweat it. Just try to avoid them as best you can.

13

Keep your messages pretty short and to the point.

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This leaves her wanting more out of your texts. Sending her super long texts or double texting frequently shows her that you're always available to her, which might turn her off. Try sending messages that give her only the information she needs to know, with no extra filler. It will help you establish the push and pull dynamic that will strengthen your chemistry, and she'll be super intrigued by your air of mystery. ^{[14]
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- Let's say you're out with friends. Instead of giving her the night's full itinerary, say something like, "I'm hanging with some old buddies. It's been a great night." This will leave her curious about what you're doing.
- Maybe she just asked you what you're up to. Instead of sending her a super long winded text about the basketball game you're watching, keep it brief. Text her, "Oh you know, just yelling at my TV about sports. Usual Saturday."

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Question

How do you build attraction over text?

Kristina Mirgorodskaya
Dating Expert
Kristina Mirgorodskaya is a Dating Coach and the Marketing Director of Amiccio, a New York City social app that helps singles make new connections. Amiccio connects singles by hosting parties, socials, beginners salsa, bachata, and tango classes, and speed dating events. With over four years of experience, Kristina specializes in leveraging people skills, cultivating welcoming environments, and intercultural communication. Her expertise allows her to easily bring people together. Kristina earned a degree in business from Baruch College.

Kristina Mirgorodskaya

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Expert Answer

Space out your conversations a little bit! This is a better way to build attraction than texting all of the time, especially when you first meet. The frequency of your texts will depend on the dynamic and stage of your relationship.

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How to Create Chemistry with a Girl over Text

Steps

Text her interesting conversation starters.

Use her name in conversation.

Give her some flirty compliments.

Tease her a little bit.

Come up with some inside jokes.

Show an interest in her passions.

Use emojis to make your texts extra flirty.

Be a little sexually suggestive if you're comfortable.

Be the first to end the conversation.

Ask her to meet in person.

Tell her that you're looking forward to seeing her.

Proofread your texts before you send them.

Keep your messages pretty short and to the point.

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