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Dating a shorter guy can make some women feel a little insecure. If you're one of those women, you may need to examine your priorities when dating a shorter guy. You may also need to focus on what you do like about him (his personality and good looks), rather than what you may not like about him (his height).
Steps
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Skip the filter. When trying to date online, don't filter out guys based on height. You might be filtering out someone who's actually perfect for you just because he's a few inches shorter than you'd like. In fact, try not to specifically mention a height you want in your profile, as it can turn some people off. [1] X Research source
- For instance, if you mention your height or you say, "Only tall guys!" many guys may figure you don't want to date them and move on, even great guys.
- The same is also true in real life. Don't dismiss a guy who's striking up a conversation with you just because he's an inch or two shorter.
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Check your insecurities. That is, many women feel like they need to be with a taller guy because they feel insecure about their own size. Having a taller guy makes them feel smaller, and subsequently, more feminine. However, how you feel about yourself shouldn't be based on how your body relates to your guy's body. You need to feel secure in your own body to feel secure in a relationship with a shorter guy. [2] X Research source
- Start by thinking about why you're finding it hard to be with a shorter guy. Does he make you feel too large? Are you embarrassed to be taller? Spend some time exploring your feelings.
- Try to change your thinking. Being shorter than a guy doesn't make you more feminine. It doesn't make you a giant to be taller than your boyfriend. Only you can decide if you feel feminine (if that's what you want) or unfeminine.
- Spend some time affirming yourself in the mirror. You could say, "I love the soft wave of my hair." Building your confidence this way can help you get over some of your insecurities.
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Play it cool on a date. That is, maybe you shouldn't wear your tallest heels if you're going on a first date with a short guy. That doesn't mean you should slouch--own your height. However, there's no need to draw attention to the height difference by adding more inches. Also, try to skip any comments about the height difference unless he brings it up with a joke.
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Don't crack jokes about his height. Just like you probably don't like people cracking jokes because you're tall, he probably doesn't like hearing jokes about how short he is. Try to skip the wisecracks, particularly when you're first starting out. [3] X Research source
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Work on your bias. If you've mostly dated guys who are taller than you, it may take you some time to adjust, and that's okay. You can even date other guys while you're adjusting, as long as you all agree you're not exclusive. Give yourself the time you need to get to know him and adjust your feelings about his height. [4] X Research source
- Remind yourself that him being shorter than you doesn’t change anything, vise verse.
EXPERT TIPDating CoachCher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.Does height matter? When you're in a committed relationship, height doesn't matter because you've already passed each other's tests. If you're about to start dating someone shorter than you, height still doesn't matter because once you get to know him better, you might fall for his personality.
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Focus on what you like about him. That is, if you're concerned about the height difference, you're somewhat focused on the externals. Instead, think about what you like about him as a person, such as his charm, his wit, his intelligence, or his compassion. You can't build a relationship on height alone, but you can build a relationship on personality. [5] X Research source
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Notice how easy it is to kiss him. If you have a guy who's significantly taller than you, you really have to strain to kiss him. With a shorter guy, you're more likely to be closer in height, making kissing easier. Pay attention when you're saying goodnight to him, and appreciate the fact that you can kiss him without pulling a muscle.
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Look at the data. Height really does open some doors, so guys who are shorter have to work harder to get ahead. That turns out to be a bonus for you because studies have shown that shorter guys usually do more of the housework than taller guys.
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Appreciate how he increases your height. While at first being taller than your boyfriend may make you feel tall and out of place, try to look at it another way. That is, most models are on the taller side, so standing next to him makes you look more like a model, not tall and gangly.
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Observe other happy couples. While a short guy with a tall girl isn't as common as the opposite (a short girl and tall guy), you'll find many happy couples in the world who are similar in heights to you and your guy. Once you've observed a few couples (whether ones you know, a couple in public, or even celebrities), you'll likely find that they don't care at all about the height difference. Rather, they just care about loving each other. [6] X Research source
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Decide you won't let others get you down about your height. That is, when you're trying to meet guys or when you're going out with a shorter guy, you shouldn't feel you need to hide your height. Most people find confidence sexy, so don't try to slouch or hunch over, as that will just make you appear like you're ashamed of it. Instead, stand up straight, look people in the eye, and flash a big smile. [7] X Research source
- Of course, once you're dating someone, you may decide you want to even out your heights a bit, but that is totally up to you.
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Skip the heels. If you don't want to emphasize your height difference, you can stick to flats most of the time rather than wearing heels. As a bonus, you're feet likely won't hurt as much! [8] X Research source If you want to wear heels, try a shorter pair, rather than the 4- to 5-inch variety.
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Practice "the lean." One way to even out your height differences, particularly when you're wearing heels, is to lean a little bit to the side by sticking out a hip. Obviously, you need something to lean on, such as your boyfriend. You don't want to slouch. Rather, you just want to look casual, putting you at a more even height with your boyfriend. [9] X Research source
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References
- ↑ https://www.glamour.com/story/what-short-guys-and-tall-girls
- ↑ https://verilymag.com/2015/09/dating-a-man-who-is-shorter-than-you-relationships-romance-height-difference-taller-woman
- ↑ https://www.doctornerdlove.com/2015/03/5-dating-tips-for-short-men/
- ↑ https://shortofheight.com/dating-short-guys/
- ↑ https://www.glamour.com/story/true-dating-confession-my-boyf-1
- ↑ https://shortofheight.com/dating-short-guys/
- ↑ https://www.doctornerdlove.com/2015/03/5-dating-tips-for-short-men/
- ↑ https://www.glamour.com/story/true-dating-confession-my-boyf-1
- ↑ https://www.glamour.com/story/true-dating-confession-my-boyf-1
About This Article
Article Summary
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If you are a tall girl who is dating a short guy, do your best not to be insecure about your height by reminding yourself that being taller than a guy doesn't mean you're too big or any less feminine. You should also focus on the positives of dating a shorter guy, such as how easy it is to kiss him without having to strain to reach him. Additionally, remind yourself of all the things you like about him that have nothing to do with his height, such as his charm, wit, intelligence, or compassion. If you still feel awkward about your height difference, you can make yourself seem shorter by skipping the heels and practicing "the lean," where you stick out your hip and lean a little to the side. For more tips from our co-author, like how to work on your height bias, scroll down!
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Reader Success Stories
- "This made me feel better about being taller than my crush. I'm not crazy tall, but I've always felt like a giant, plus all the "couple goals" are tall guy-short girl. There isn't much positive and cute representation for the other way around." ..." more
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"This made me feel better about being taller than my crush. I'm not crazy tall, but I've always felt like a giant, plus all the "couple goals" are tall guy-short girl. There isn't much positive and cute representation for the other way around."
..."
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"I recently met someone online. I was so happy that he is a good guy, until I spotted him and realized he is actually shorter than me. When I went home I was so stressed, but now I am happy."
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"Helped me decide to go on and date a taller girl."
