How to Date a Younger Girl

Co-authored by Kristina Mirgorodskaya

Last Updated: October 8, 2024 References

Dating a younger woman can be a lot of fun! She's likely to be vibrant and full of energy, and she might even make you feel like a younger version of yourself. You might be wondering whether you'll have trouble connecting or if there's anything you need to watch out for, but fear not, we're here to help! Even if you're quite a few years older, that age gap doesn't have to stop the two of you from having a blast as you get to know each other. It might even blossom into true love!

1

Empower her in the relationship.

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Listen to her, ask her opinion, and compromise. When there's a big age gap in a relationship, the older person can sometimes be perceived as more powerful. There's nothing necessarily wrong with that, but if you want the relationship to be balanced, try to be mindful of that dynamic. Keep things healthy by respecting what your girlfriend has to say, and don't try to make all of the decisions in the relationship. ^{[1]
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- For instance, instead of deciding where and when you'll go on a date, you might ask her what she'd like to do.
- Of course, figure out what works for you—she might enjoy having you take charge a little more. Just communicate openly about your expectations.

2

Focus on what you have in common.

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Don't worry as much about the differences. If there's a big age gap between the two of you, you may have grown up watching different TV shows, listening to different music, or using different technology. When things like that come up, just laugh them off. The really important things are your shared values—like how you both love trying new things or you're both committed to social justice. ^{[2]
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- Differences in your core values will be harder to overcome, which is why it's so important to get to each other on a deeper level early on.

3

Be honest with her about who you are.

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Younger women can sometimes idealize their older partners. It's okay to be yourself, though. It might be flattering to be seen as this mature person who has it all together. However, if that's not really the case, you run the risk of the relationship falling flat as the two of you get to know each other better. ^{[3]
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- If you're not financially well-to-do, don't take her to the most expensive restaurants or bars every time you go out.

4

Get to know her for who she really is.

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Spend time learning her thoughts, feelings, and flaws. You might want to date a younger woman because she's fun and gorgeous, but remember that she's more than just a pretty face. Find out what makes her unique! What are her hopes and dreams? What makes her sad? What events have impacted her life the most? Your relationship will be richer for it. ^{[4]
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- No matter how cute she is, your girlfriend probably doesn't want to be seen as simply arm candy, so this is really important!
- Let her know you’re interested in learning more about her by asking about her hobbies, likes, and dislikes.

5

Act your age.

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She's into you for your maturity. If a younger woman is dating someone older, it's usually because she finds other people her age immature and unreliable. The best way to keep her interested is to show her that you're above that. Don't act jealous or flighty, and handle disagreements with a cool head. That way, she'll know you have what she's looking for. ^{[5]
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- You're human, so you don't have to be perfect—just keep in mind that she'll appreciate if you're able to use your wisdom and experience to navigate the relationship.
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John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Treat your emotional intelligence as a strength. If she's really the right fit for you, she'll value your maturity and emotional depth (even if there is an age gap).

6

Let her experience things for herself.

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Yep, even if you've already been there and done that. Part of being young means learning and making your own mistakes. That goes for your girlfriend, so don't try to talk her into or out of the decisions you think would be best for her. She needs a chance to learn things on her own, and it's only fair that you give her the space to do that. ^{[6]
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- For instance, you might feel like it's a bad idea for her to drop out of school to become a yoga instructor, but if she's really passionate about it, that might actually be the best path for her!
- If you really think you have some perspective that could help her, say something like, "I'll never tell you what to do, but can I share my thoughts on that situation?"

7

Talk openly about whether you want the same things.

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You might be in a different stage of life than she is. That's natural when there's a gap between your ages, but it doesn't mean things can't work out. Be honest with her about what you're looking for, and listen when she says what she wants. Then, figure out how the two of you can plan a new path together. ^{[7]
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- For instance, you might be ready to settle down and start a family, but she might want to finish college and spend a few years traveling. Ask yourself if you'd be willing to wait for that.
- Or, she might be the one who wants a family, and you might feel like you're too old for sleepless nights with a new baby. Are either of you willing to change your mind?

8

Tell her if you want a committed relationship.

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Otherwise, she might assume it's a casual thing. She might be a few years younger than you, but that doesn't mean she's afraid of commitment. In fact, she may be attracted to your maturity and stability, so she might be thinking long-term. If the two of you are really hitting it off, make a point of mentioning that you'd like to see her exclusively. That way, she'll know you only have eyes for her. ^{[8]
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- Try saying something like, "I know you probably have a lot of options, but I love our time together. I'm not seeing anyone else, are you?"

9

Ignore what other people say.

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It's really none of their business. Some people might make comments about your age difference when you and your girlfriend are out together. Or you might face criticism from friends and family—on your side, hers, or even both. If you really like her, don't let that stop you. Just do your thing and enjoy each other's company. ^{[9]
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- If she gets upset about it, try saying something like, "Hey, that doesn't matter. People will have their opinions and that's fine, but I enjoy being with you."

10

Try to keep up with her.

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Dating someone younger can help you feel more energized. There's a good chance she'll be at least somewhat adventurous and spontaneous, and she may also be more active than you. Use that to your advantage—it's the perfect excuse to shake things up and maybe even get out of your comfort zone. ^{[10]
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- For instance, maybe you've always wanted to take up hiking. Ask her if she'd be willing to join you!

11

Don't put off meeting her parents.

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Disarm the situation by acting at ease. If there's a big age difference between you, you might actually be closer to her parents' age than hers. And even if that's not the case, they might still be a little unsure about the age gap. However, meeting the parents is a big milestone in any relationship, so when you know you're getting serious, go ahead and make the leap. ^{[11]
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- Try making a joke about it by saying something like, "We might have watched different Saturday morning cartoons, but your daughter and I have a lot in common!"
- Over time, if you show that you're committed and you treat their daughter well, her parents will probably come around.

12

Take good care of yourself.

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Maybe that's because you feel inspired to stay in good form while you're together, or maybe it's because her youthful energy gives you a boost. Whatever it is, make the most of it by eating a healthy diet, getting exercise, and avoiding unhealthy habits like drinking excessively or smoking. ^{[12]
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Pay attention to her body language at all times. If she looks uncomfortable, stop whatever you're doing and ask something like, "Are you okay?" or "Is this okay with you?"
Try to be patient with her. Rushing things might give her the wrong impression or even push her away.

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How to Date a Younger Girl

Steps

Empower her in the relationship.

Focus on what you have in common.

Be honest with her about who you are.

Get to know her for who she really is.

Act your age.

Let her experience things for herself.

Talk openly about whether you want the same things.

Tell her if you want a committed relationship.

Ignore what other people say.

Try to keep up with her.

Don't put off meeting her parents.

Take good care of yourself.

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