How to Deal with Classmates

It's unavoidable to meet classmates that don't click well with you. Classmates of all different personalities and types will be in your class each year. Sometimes, they can get very frivolous and annoying. You may feel as if it's impossible to stay with these people in the same class for the whole school year. There are a few common types of classmates many people find annoying. You can learn to cope with these people in a few easy ways.

Section 1 of 6:

The Chatty Classmates

  1. 1
    Identify signs that you know a chatty classmate. Chatty means that someone is talkative. There are a few main signs of chatty or talkative classmates. Chatty classmates are very common in all grade levels, so don't expect chatty classmates to decrease as you grow older/move onto middle school or high school.
    • Constant chatting in class about unrelated topics
    • Whispering in other classmates' ears
    • Distracting other classmates because of their chatter
  2. 2
    Understand why chatty classmates exist. Introverts are less likely to become chatty classmates than extroverts. Extroverts crave social interaction, so they are most likely to chat in many situations, including inappropriate situations like class times. Some are naturally chatty and have been chatty since middle or elementary school. Others may want to make more friends, so they desperately try to make contact with other peers.
    • Extroverted people are more likely to chat in class than introverted or more studious classmates.
    • People who get distracted easily may chat with others instead of doing their own work.
    • Some classmates might just want attention from their peers, so they keep distracting others by chatting and talking.
    • People who have star signs such as Aries, Gemini, Leo, and Libra, Sagittarius are natural extroverts, so it's possible that the chatty classmate is one of these star signs.
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  3. 3
    Ignore the chatty classmate. If a chatty classmate talks during class, ignore them. They will likely realize that you are not interested in chatting during class, so they will stop pestering you. If they continue to do this, talk to them after class about their chatter. Tell them that talking during class distracts you and that you want to pay attention to the important material. Then, say that you guys can talk more outside of class and during breaks, lunch, study hall/extended care, and after-school clubs.
    • This works the most for kids that want attention. They will realize that they aren't getting the attention they want from you (since you are ignoring them), so they will eventually cease to talk.
  4. 4
    Talk to a teacher if the classmate continues to talk during class. Really chatty classmates can be difficult to ignore. If they continue to chat and talk during class, you should talk to a teacher about this. The student could be moved to the very front of the room (where the teacher can easily see if they are chatting or not) or a corner of the room (where there are no students for the student to talk to).
    • Don't make it sound like you are tattle-telling or dibba-dobbing. You are just making an honest complaint, but you aren't doing this to get the chatty person in trouble. Don't say something like, "David is so noisy!" or "Charlotte always talks during class!" or "Daniel was talking about video games for the 50th time already, Mrs. Brown."
    • Use neutral language while talking about this, like, "I cannot concentrate in class when David starts chatting." or "Charlotte sometimes distracts me from my work and studies." or "I love video games, so it's hard for me to stop talking with Daniel when he talks about video games in class."
  5. 5
    Talk to the chatty person after class. If you are best friends with the person, it will be difficult to stop talking with them. Practice self-control, and whenever you feel the urge to talk to the person or reply to them during class, think to yourself, "I need to concentrate on this assignment" or "I have to carefully listen to these instructions. I don't want to miss out on crucial details." or "I should continue working on this group project. I want to get this project done with my teammates."
    • After class, like during break/recess, lunch, after-school clubs, and extended care/study hall is the time to continue happily conversing with your buddies.
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Section 2 of 6:

The Distracting Classmates

  1. 1
    Identify signs that you know a distracting classmate. Distracting classmates can be very annoying while you're busy jotting down notes or typing up a descriptive essay in class. There are a couple of signs of a distracting classmate that you can look out for.
    • Tapping on a classmate's shoulder, whispering to them, passing paper notes, making funny faces, and doing other things to distract someone
    • Blurting out topics unrelated to the class being taught (e.g. telling a funny joke or saying something random)
    • Chatting during class (like talkative classmates)
  2. 2
    Understand why distracting classmates exist. Most of the time, classmates that love distracting people crave attention. They want everyone to listen to them, so they try to distract them from the main topic. Some of them want to make friends this way, since they think that being funny will let them gain popularity. There are many reasons why someone is distracting.
    • Kids that want attention, like spoiled or neglected children may distract others. Spoiled kids want attention everywhere (even if they have lots of it at home), so they constantly try to distract others. Neglected kids don't get any attention at home (since their needs aren't being taken care of), so they may crave attention at school.
    • Kids with conditions like ADHD may get distracted more easily. They find it hard to focus on one task at a time. Some kids with ADHD are hyperactive, and some are more inattentive. [1]
    • People who get distracted easily may chat with others instead of doing their own work.
    • Some classmates might just want attention from their peers, so they keep distracting others by chatting and talking.
  3. 3
    Ignore the distracting classmate. If a distracting classmate talks or does something provocative during class, ignore them. They will likely realize that you are not interested in paying attention to their distractions during class, so they will stop pestering you. If they continue to do this, talk to them after class about their chatter. Tell them that talking during class distracts you and that you want to pay attention to the important material. Then, say that you guys can talk and do fun things outside of class and during breaks, lunch, study hall/extended care, and after-school clubs.
    • It can be tough to not get distracted by something really interesting that the distracting kid's talking about, but try your best to ignore them. If they're showing you a hilarious meme, ignore them. If they want to talk about how annoying the teacher is, don't talk to them. If the person's tapping on your shoulder, gesture for them to stop.
    • This works the most for kids that want attention. They will realize that they aren't getting the attention they want from you (since you are ignoring them), so they will eventually cease to distract you.
  4. 4
    Talk to a teacher if the classmate continues to distract you during class. Really distracting classmates can be difficult to ignore. If they continue to distract and talk during class, you should talk to a teacher about this. The student could be moved to the very front of the room (where the teacher can easily see if they are chatting or not) or a corner of the room (where there are no students for the student to talk to).
    • Don't make it sound like you are tattle-telling. You are just making an honest complaint, but you aren't doing this to get the chatty person in trouble. Don't say something like, "David is super annoying!" or "Charlotte always makes funny faces during class!" or "Daniel was talking about video games for the 50th time already, Mrs. Brown."
    • Use neutral language while talking about this, like, "I cannot concentrate in class when David starts making funny faces." or "Charlotte sometimes distracts me from my work and studies." or "I love video games, so it's hard for me to stop talking with Daniel when he talks about video games in class."
    • If the student has a condition like ADHD, the teacher could help the student with their needs by making sure that the curriculum/classroom is modified or that the student has their ADHD medications.
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Section 3 of 6:

The Classmate who Gossips

  1. 1
    Identify signs that you know a classmate who gossips. Gossiping consists of spreading rumors about someone. Gossiping can be mean and unethical, so it's best not to follow the person who gossips. Gossiping can start in late elementary school (ages 9-11) and may go on until middle school and high school. There are some main signs of gossipy students. These include:
    • Talking behind a friend's back
    • Spreading rumors (unproven statements about someone)
    • Having friendship problems because of mean gossip
    • Being generally unlikable (especially to the person that they're gossiping about)
  2. 2
    Understand why gossipy classmates exist. There are a variety of reasons why someone enjoys gossiping. Younger kids (younger than 8 years old) usually don't gossip, as they don't have good lying skills yet. They also don't do mean things for fun, which is something older kids do more. Older kids in late elementary school may start to gossip to attract other mean kids or to ruin someone's reputation. They may do this to get revenge on someone, which is passive-aggressive.
    • Kids that want attention may gossip to earn more friends. This is not the case, as most kids do not like people who spread harmful and mean information to other people.
    • They may want to get revenge on a particular person they hate, so they gossip about that one person. This is passive-aggressive behavior, and it's best not to gossip for this purpose.
    • Some kids think that they are powerful when they gossip, since they are the ones giving information (although false, mean, and untrue) to all of their other classmates. [2]
  3. 3
    Avoid people who gossip. Avoid doesn't just mean ignoring. These people are challenging to ignore, so you should not meet them in the first place. If you know that the gossipy girls in your class hang out on the slide in your school playground, go to a different play structure or the blacktop to play sports. If the person who gossips has a locker near you, wait until they have gotten all of their stuff out of their locker before you get to yours.
    • It is easy to get attracted to juicy gossip, but this can be harmful to the people who are being gossiped about. It's best not to spread harmful rumors that will damage a person's reputation, since they may end up with no friends and damaged emotional health.
  4. 4
    Deal with being the subject of gossip. Sometimes, it's not someone else that is being gossiped about- it's you. You may feel nervous, scared, or angry if you are the subject of cruel gossip. Gossip can be hard to deal with, but there are ways to fix it. Fixing gossip about yourself is similar to reducing gossip about others.
    • Be wary of what you tell others. To prevent gossip in the first place, don't overshare. Don't talk about who you have a crush on to untrustworthy friends or your uncle's criminal records in school. Do not talk about personal info, like your passwords, family members' ages (unless you have permission to share), bank accounts, and other personal info. All of these are targets of gossip, so you don't want to share these pieces of personal/sensitive information with the whole school. [3]
    • Ignore the gossip. If there is minimal gossip, you can just ignore it. Understand that what the people are saying isn't true, and you know yourself better than them.
    • Tell a trusted adult. Gossip can spread like wildfire, and the content they gossip about could get meaner and crueler. If the gossip is spreading or is getting to "bullying territory", tell a teacher, counselor, guardian, or parent immediately.
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Section 4 of 6:

The Smart/Know-it-All Classmates

  1. 1
    Identify signs that you know a classmate that is a know-it-all. Know-it-alls are especially annoying since they are smarter than you. They may use smarter tactics to get you to do something, or they may do all of your roles in a group project, thinking that you are incapable of doing these things yourself. Not all smart people are know-it-alls, and even if the classmate is just smart, they can be annoying to deal with sometimes. Some signs of a smart person or a know-it-all include:
    • Raising their hand every single time the teacher asks a question (smart people and know-it-alls)
    • Participating the most in class discussions, such as raising their hand every time and giving out the most ideas [4] (smart people and know-it-alls)
    • Doing classwork the fastest so they have plenty of time to do other classwork and even homework in class (smart people and know-it-alls)
    • Bragging about their outstanding assignment grades and test scores (know-it-alls)
    • Thinking that everyone else is stupid or thinking that they are the smartest, so they have to "baby" the other students (know-it-alls)
  2. 2
    Understand why smart and know-it-all classmates exist. There is no actual way to measure someone's intelligence. Yes, there are IQ tests and other ways to measure someone's supposed intelligence quotient, but their accuracy can vary depending on a range of factors. Every person is proficient in at least one thing, and it doesn't have to be limited to school academics. One person could be a competitive basketball player, while the other may participate in piano competitions. Another could be a science geek, whereas another person may be the best at socializing and being outgoing. Know-it-alls are basically narcissistic smart people. Since they know that they are smart, they use it to their advantage.
    • Stereotypical "smart" people may just be proficient in one school subject (e.g. a science geek, a person that's amazing at algebra, a U.S. history buff, a grammarian, a Spanish genius, a tech wiz), but have no talents outside of the academics. In reality, smart people are of all different types, so there's no one model of a smart person. They are not necessarily all know-it-alls, but it can be annoying to see that smart people know most answers to questions.
    • Some know-it-alls are also excellent in academics, but they are also narcissistic. They believe that they are the smartest, so they are supposedly at a higher level than the "non-smart" people or that they have more rights and power than "dumb" people. Know-it-alls are very challenging people to deal with, so don't feel guilty for feeling like you're going to explode when a know-it-all undermines a person's intelligence or keeps raising their hand every time.
    • People with star signs like Aquarius, Scorpio, and Capricorn are often intelligent, so it's possible your smart or know-it-all classmate's one of these star signs. [5]
  3. 3
    Refrain from believing what a know-it-all says. Know-it-alls distort their world into making everyone more stupid than they are themselves. They usually bully people into thinking they are more stupid than them, which is untrue. Basically, you shouldn't let a know-it-all's mean attitude get to you. Do not listen to narcissistic people's comments, since they are harmful and untrue.
    • When they make a mean comment, say encouraging words to yourself, like "I am great at basketball." or "I'm proficient in computer science!" or "I am amazing the way I am." or "I love helping others."
  4. 4
    Learn from "smart" people. If the classmate in your class is just a "smart" person and not a know-it-all, you may find it useful to learn from them. You can see how they memorize science formulas in a snap, understand algebra so easily, code complex programs, or read books so quickly. Ask them for advice, and don't feel ashamed if you feel as if your question is "stupid". Every question is valid, and you have a reason for asking the question. The smart person is likely to help you, so don't think that all smart people are mean/selfish. This can be beneficial in boosting your grades if your grades are less than average.
    • If they recommend studying more, really study. Study with notes you've taken in class for 15-30 minutes daily so that you don't forget the information.
    • Use videos from channels like Khan Academy, OverSimplified, Crash Course, and Professor Dave Explains to learn subjects like science, history, math, and language arts.
    • You can also get a study buddy to study with you. Tell your parents to hire a tutor to help you if you're really struggling.
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Section 5 of 6:

The Class Clown

  1. 1
    Identify signs that you know a classmate that is a class clown. Class clowns can be very interesting. They love telling jokes and doing comical/absurd things for laughter and joy. The humor varies - some class clowns enjoy telling jokes, while others play pranks, do absurd things, make funny faces, or start cool trends at school. There are a few signs that identify someone as a class clown.
    • Having a sense of humor (e.g. dark humor, potty humor, absurdist humor, self-deprecating humor, slapstick humor, etc.) [6]
    • Telling jokes
    • Playing pranks (e.g. putting toothpaste in cookies, digging a hole and covering it up for someone to fall into, jump-scaring people, playing Rick Astley's song in class, taking someone's pencil, etc.)
    • Doing absurd things (e.g. pretending to chew on a pencil, suddenly saying, "Andy's coming!" and falling down, dancing in their seat, slipping weirdly on the floor, running super slowly/acting as if they are in outer space in PE, etc.)
    • Answering a question in a funny way in class (e.g. showing the weirdness/impracticality of a math problem, making up a funny sentence for grammar class, saying the answer in a strange accent, or saying the wrong answer on purpose)
    • Loving to make other classmates laugh during class (which oftentimes gets them in trouble)
  2. 2
    Understand why class clowns exist. Class clowns can be really fun if you're in the mood for a funny joke during a boring class, but sometimes they can be annoying if you're trying to concentrate. Class clowns are usually energetic, bubbly, or extroverted. They love telling jokes and doing comical/absurd things for laughter and joy. They usually don't have any bad intentions, unless they're purposefully distracting you for you to get a bad grade on an assignment.
    • Most class clowns have no bad intentions - they just want to make people smile! They may have a natural sense of humor, or maybe they learned it from their family.
    • Some class clowns want to get attention, like chatty or distracting classmates.
  3. 3
    Laugh with other classmates if it is appropriate. Sometimes, the teacher is very lenient, so they allow kids to laugh at jokes during class. Maybe the last week of school is nearing, so teachers want students to relax, or maybe it's the first week of school, so the teacher doesn't expect everyone to know the rules yet. Maybe the teacher was a class clown in their childhood, so they get used to the laughter/uproar in class.
    • Laugh along if it's appropriate. If the teacher's strict or if there's a lot of material to cover, it's best not to. If no one else's laughing, try to stifle your laughter by thinking of the material covered in class or something boring.
  4. 4
    Ignore the class clown. Strict teachers may think the class clown is trying to gain attention, so they may tell others to ignore the class clown. They may not have a sense of humor, or they may have had class clowns in their class many times, so they don't think it is funny anymore. In this case, it's best to ignore the class clown, as you may get in trouble for disrupting the class if you laugh or do anything provocative. Don't become the class clown yourself or talk with the class clown. Try to ignore the jokester even if they have made the most hilarious joke ever.
    • Stifle your laughter by biting your lip and thinking of the subject being learned, not the joke.
    • You can laugh as loudly as you want during breaks, lunchtime, and extended care/study hall. Try to think of other things until then. Then, you can laugh happily with your friends as loudly as you want outside!
  5. 5
    Let the teacher deal with the class clown. Class clowns are perpetually funny, so it can be next to impossible to concentrate when the class clown's showing you a funny video or doing other funny things. Class clowns are really tough to deal with, so you should tell the teacher if they are affecting your academic progress at school. Tell the teacher about the situation and how you are being affected by the class clown.
    • Say that you are being affected by the class clown, not that the class clown's affecting you. This makes it seem as if you're being neutral and not blaming the class clown. You don't want to sound like you hate the class clown or you're a tattletale, since this can hurt the class clown's feelings.
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Section 6 of 6:

The Competitive Classmates

  1. 1
    Identify signs that you know a classmate that is competitive. Many people detest competitive classmates since they inflict massive stress on them. Competitive kids want to be the best or beat someone in their class all the time. From being faster than Sally in PE to typing the longest essay in the whole class, competitive pupils find anything to be a competition. This can really be annoying and stressful to the other classmates, as the competitive kid may mock the other kids for not being better than them. Some kids may only be competitive in one school subject, whereas others rush to be the best at every single subject. Some signs of a competitive kid include:
    • Rushing through their work to be the fastest (which may lead to many silly mistakes)
    • Bragging about their accomplishments if they successfully beat someone in doing something (or if they beat the whole class in doing something)
    • Being a sore loser/not willing to accept that they aren't the best if they did not beat someone in doing something (e.g. if they did not beat their classmate Aarav in writing the longest essay or if they did not beat Nathan in shooting the most hoops)
    • Feeling unhappy and stressed if they don't accomplish their goals of beating someone
    • Constantly comparing others' progress to their own progress
    • Writing the fastest, writing the longest essay, or writing the neatest in language arts class
    • Solving the most math problems on a math worksheet
    • Trying to run the fastest in PE class, doing the most warm-ups in a minute, shooting the most hoops in basketball, getting the ball in the most times in soccer, getting the ball the most in football, throwing the ball to the other side many times in volleyball, and doing other competitive moves in PE
  2. 2
    Understand why competitive classmates exist. Competitive people may make you very stressed, so you may wonder why competitive people aren't stressed when they constantly compare themselves to others. There are multiple reasons why students are competitive. They may find everything to really be a competition, or they may be a perfectionist. They may have grown up in a competitive family, where everyone competed for everything. Or they may just be extra studious and are more ambitious than others.
    • Competitive people find everything to be a competition, so they work extra hard to beat at least someone in their class.
    • The person may have grown up in a competitive environment, where siblings competed with them in doing the most/best work (e.g. 13-year-old Edward's 18-year-old brother competes with Edward in sports, or maybe Sally's twin sister Samantha competes with Sally in academics)
    • Some competitive people are perfectionists, so they expect themselves to fill very high yet unrealistic standards. This leads to stress for themselves and stress for you (since they make fun of you to make themselves feel better)
    • Star signs like Capricorn are naturally ambitious, [7] so it's possible that the competitive person in your class is a Capricorn.
  3. 3
    Do not hold yourself up to a competitive person's standards. Competitive people set very high standards, like finishing an assignment in only 5 minutes, running the fastest in two weeks, or doing tens and even hundreds of math problems in one sitting. This makes them extremely stressed out when they don't achieve these goals, leading to them getting angry and stressed. Not everything is a competition or a race, and understand that you don't have to "win" every single time.
    • Do things at your own pace, and understand that doing things the fastest isn't necessarily beneficial. People who rush through their math homework may make a lot of silly mistakes, and people who overexert themselves and run the fastest may obtain an injury.
    • Do not care if the person types the fastest in the typing website's leaderboard, and don't rush through your work if you find out that Raina is already on problem #20, the last problem on the math assessment when you are only on #13. This will add unnecessary stress to you.
  4. 4
    Refrain from letting their remarks affect you. Competitive people may insult and lie to others to make themselves feel better. They might say mean things, like, "You're cheating!" even if you have done the work honestly, "That's unfair!", "I still type faster than you!", "I did all of the work for the project though!", "No, you counted the points wrong!", "You're stupid!", etc. Many competitive people can be sore losers since they are so unwilling to lose. They hold very high standards, and think that it is unacceptable to not reach their impossibly high standards.
    • Say something like, "No, I didn't cheat.", "This game was perfectly fair. I played honestly and I did not cheat.", "Well, the teacher has recorded the points and checked to see if the sums are right. The players on our teams have also checked, so the points are accurate", "I'm sorry, but if you're going to insult me, I will walk away.", etc.
    • Tell a teacher if the competitive student repeatedly bullies you. Bullying is not ok in any situation, so you should talk to your teacher about this.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/adhd.html
      2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/let-their-words-do-the-talking/202106/why-people-gossip
      3. ↑ https://lifestyle.allwomenstalk.com/when-people-gossip-about-you-do-these-things/
      4. ↑ https://www.psychmechanics.com/characteristics-of-a-know-it-all-personality/
      5. ↑ https://www.readersdigest.ca/health/healthy-living/intelligent-zodiac-sign/#:~:text=The%20smartest%20zodiac%20sign%20is,by%20cognitive%20ability%20and%20IQ .
      6. ↑ https://www.huffpost.com/entry/there-are-nine-different-types-of-humour-which-one-are-you_n_61087612e4b0999d2084fbd7
      7. ↑ https://www.allure.com/story/capricorn-zodiac-sign-personality-traits

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