Who Is ESFJ Most Compatible With?

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Learn about the personality traits and love styles of ESFJs

Co-authored by Sophie Burkholder, BA Reviewed by Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW

Last Updated: October 30, 2024 Fact Checked

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ESFJ Compatibility

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ESFJs in Romantic Relationships

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ESFJ Personality Traits

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ESFJ Friendships, Parenting & Careers

ESFJs are defined by the attention and generosity they freely give to others. After all, they are known as the ‘Caregiver’ or ‘Consul.' But ESFJs want to feel that same care returned to them by a supportive and empathetic partner. So what kind of personalities can do that? To answer that question, we've assembled a complete guide to ESFJ compatibility, behaviors, and personality traits.

ESFJ Romantic Compatibility

ESFJs are highly compatible with ESFPs, ISFJs, ISTPs, and ENFJs. ESFJs are also somewhat compatible with ISTJs, INFJs, ESTJs, ESTPs, ENFPs, and other ESFJs. However, they have low compatibility with unemotional and spontaneous ENTPs, INTJs, ENTJs, INFPs, and INTPs.

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Who are ESFJs compatible with?

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An ESFJ’s best matches are ESFPs, ISFJs, ISFPs, ISTPs, and ENFJs. These personalities have similar outlooks and values to an ESFJ. Although they may still have conflicts, they communicate easily due to a mutual understanding of how each other thinks. ^{[1]
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- ISFPs (Introverted Sensing Feeling Perceiving) are highly compatible with ESFJs because they balance their emotional openness with self-sufficiency and practicality. ^{[2]
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- ISTPs (Introverted Sensing Thinking Perceiving) are a top match for ESFJs because their grounded perspective pairs well with the ESFJ’s overly generous nature. ^{[3]
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- ESFPs (Extraverted Sensing Feeling Perceiving) are very similar to ESFJs. Both personalities are friendly and enjoy stability, but the ESFP prefers going with the flow more than the ESFJ.
- ISFJs (Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging) match the kindness and generosity of ESFJs, although they like to spend more time alone.
- ENFJs (Extraverted Intuitive Feeling Judging) appreciate emotional openness, stability, and socializing the same way ESFJs do. ^{[4]
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ESFJs may be compatible with ISTJs, INFJs, ESTJs, ESTPs, ENFPs, and other ESFJs. Some of these personalities, like the INFJ, may be too similar – causing codependency or communication breakdowns. Others, like the ESTP, have similar traits but core values that clash with the ESFJ, like a more analytical or flexible approach to life. ^{[5]
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- ISTJs (Introverted Sensing Thinking Judging) can build dependable relationships with ESFJs, but they need more alone time than ESFJs may understand.
- INFJs (Introverted Intuitive Feeling Judging) have the same tendency as ESFJs to over-give and neglect their own needs, which can cause problems in their relationship.
- ESTJs (Extraverted Sensing Thinking Judging) share a love of stability and order with ESFJs. The emotional ESFJ may help balance out the more logical ESTJ. Still, conflict may happen if the ESTJ can’t fulfill the ESFJ’s emotional needs.
- ESTPs (Extraverted Sensing Thinking Perceiving) share the traditional values of the ESFJ, but their extremely practical approach to life may clash with the emotional and feeling ESFJ.
- ENFPs (Extraverted Intuitive Feeling Perceiving) are extremely social and prone to emotional sensitivity, like the ESFJ. While these two personalities mutually understand each other well, the ENFP’s preference for flexibility over organization may clash with the ESFJ. ^{[6]
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- ESFJs may be compatible since they understand each other’s need for socializing, emotional validation, and structure. While they share the same rigid values, they may struggle to step outside the comfort zone of their relationship and listen to others’ perspectives.
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ESFJs have low compatibility with ENTPs, INTJs, ENTJs, INFPs, and INTPs. These personalities have very different values and perspectives than the ESFJ. However, personalities that seem incompatible can still succeed with time, effort, and healthy communication. ^{[7]
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- ENTPs (Extraverted Intuitive Thinking Perceiving) prioritize creativity and spontaneity, clashing with an ESFJ’s love of routine and structure.
- INTJs (Introverted Intuitive Thinking Judging) enjoy logic and problem-solving. While they appreciate clarity and structure, they don’t relate to the emotional ESFJ. ^{[8]
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- ENTJs (Extraverted Intuitive Thinking Judging) tend to overlook emotions, so they may not fulfill the needs of or communicate well with ESFJs.
- INFPs (Introverted Intuitive Feeling Perceiving) are deeply emotional like ESFJs, but dislike socializing as much as the extraverted ESFJ. ^{[9]
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- INTPs (Introverted Intuitive Thinking Perceiving) struggle to connect with the ESFJ because they are overwhelmed by their emotional expression and don’t understand their desire for socialization and connection. ^{[10]
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