How to Flirt With Your Crush (for Girls)

Co-authored by Cher Gopman

Last Updated: March 29, 2024

Whether you want more than a friendship with a person you like or you just met someone cute, this article will instruct you how to make the first move and start a relationship.

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Don't play hard to get and flirt with other people to get their attention. It'll only make them think you're unavailable. A little chat or smile with another person would be good enough. This will make them a little jealous and - most likely - want you more.
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2
Get to know them if you don't already. Have conversations about things you two have in common. Look them in the eyes and smile when you talk. If they smile and make eye contact with you, this may be a sign that they're interested in you. Ask them some casual questions, just to know them better. However, don't ask too many! They will probably feel uncomfortable. You don't have to just focus on them - talk a little about yourself as well! If they like you, they might start listening to your favorite band or have an interest in your hobbies to get your attention.
- Reader Poll: We asked 630 wikiHow readers how they would approach an introverted person to show you’re interested, and 74% said they would get to know them as a friend first. [Take Poll]
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3
Flirt! Start off mildly and work your way up. For those who are beginners at flirting, make eye contact for a second and smile, then look away slowly. Don't stare for too long, as it will make things really awkward. Try making a little physical contact. Brush by them when you can and let your arm linger for a little bit. You could playfully pat their back and - if you're ready - start to hug them! However, be sure you know them well enough and that it won't be awkward if you hug them.
- Making the first move may be different for everyone. Maybe one person wants to just hang out or go on a date. Perhaps another person wants to "become official". This step will focus on choice two. Dress up, but don't try too hard.
- Approach them and give them a smile. Ask them if they want to hang out after school, or go catch a movie. If they agree, tell them, "Okay, see ya" and give them a smile or a hug, then walk off. If they politely decline, then they probably just want to be friends. Don't get discouraged, because there are many fish in the sea!
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Tell them you had a great time and that you would like to do it again. If they look like they had a good time, then this is a good sign. Now face them and look them in the eyes, and say "I really like you, and I was wondering if we could be more than friends." Smile at them and be confident. Try not to be shy. If they say yes, then you just made a move. If they say no, then just be friends. Don't push them into anything!
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Some girls may skip this step, but others may want to try it. When you're about to leave, give them a quick, soft kiss on the cheek and walk off, not looking back. If you're already dating them and you've already kissed before, move onto the mouth if you two are ready. If neither of you are ready, don't push it. Give them a hug.

Expert Q&A

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Question

How do I attract him after a first date?

Alessandra Conti
Celebrity Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Alessandra Conti is a Celebrity Matchmaker, Dating Coach, and Co-Founder of Matchmakers In The City, a personal Matchmaking firm headquartered in Los Angeles, California. Alessandra is a Matchmaker behind MTV's, “Are You The One”, and is the go-to Celebrity Matchmaker for shows like NBC's Access Hollywood, and CBS's Face The Truth. Her dating and relationship advice has been featured on Forbes, Elite Daily, The New Yorker, The LA Times, and Fox News. For nearly 10 years, Alessandra has worked with clients ranging from celebrities to young professionals and leads a team of matchmakers responsible for hundreds of marriages through their knowledge of interpersonal relationships, body language, and lie detection. She holds a BA in Communications from American University and is a Matchmaking Institute Certified Matchmaker (CMM).

Alessandra Conti

Celebrity Matchmaker & Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Flirting is key, and it's such a lost art. It's important to continue flirting when you're going on dates. Everyone has different flirting styles—for some, it involves giggling excessively and playing with your hair; for other people, it involves being sarcastic and witty. Injecting flirting into your interactions with the guy you're excited about is so important!

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Tips

Be yourself in every way. Show your unique individual! Let them see who you are. If you change yourself for your crush, they'll be liking the wrong person. Let your personality shine.

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Laugh at their jokes - even the corny or stupid ones. However, don't laugh at every single one. They might get annoyed.

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Start more conversations. If there is something you guys have in common, like a sport.

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Warnings

If they say yes, don't go overboard. Still be casual and don't be all lovey-gooey yet. Keep talking to them, smile, and give them hugs every day. When you're both ready, you two can take it to the next step!

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If they say no, then it's a no. It's not the end of the world. There are more fish in the sea. It may hurt to be rejected, but now you're not wasting your time with someone who isn't into you. You never know if there is someone who will really be interested in you. They may be waiting around the corner!

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