How to Flirt with a Guy over Text Long Distance

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Crushing on a guy who lives far away has its challenges, but flirting isn't one of them! Texting is a great way to get your flirt on, but where do you start? Don't worry, we'll walk you through a range of possibilities, starting with subtle options on the cute/funny side of the flirting spectrum. Then, we'll touch on some sexier stuff to get your guy's heart racing!

1

Good morning texts

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    Good morning texts are great if you want to be the first thing your guy thinks about that day. These texts can be as flirty or sweet as you like, so choose the “strength” that feels right for you and your guy. [1] Try options like:
    • "Morning, handsome! Hope you have a lovely day xx"
    • "Hey you, I dreamt about you all night."
    • "Let’s both call in sick so we can FaceTime all day. Good plan?" [2]
    • "I wish I was waking up next to you."
    • "My first thought this morning: what we’d be doing if we were together." [3]
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2

Silly one-liners

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    Get his heart racing and make him giggle at the same time! Plus, silly one-liners take all of 15 seconds to write, so you can send them easily during breaks at school or work. Your quips may be silly and nerdy, but he'll still feel special when he reads them! [4] Try options like:
    • "Can you ship yourself to me with nothing on but a cute bow-tie?"
    • "You are my favorite notification.”
    • "Roses are red, violets are blue. You can’t imagine how much I miss you.”
    • "If you were a fruit, you’d be a FINEapple!” [5]
    • "The miles between us = my mortal enemies. I shall prevail!”
3

Compliments

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    Everyone loves a compliment , especially a flirty one! If you haven't revealed your feelings yet, a compliment is a subtle way to do that. [6] For example, compliments about his eyes, sense of humor, or talents work great if he's a new crush. If you want to be less subtle, or if you're texting your boyfriend, compliment him on his scent, voice, or looks. [7] Try options like:
    • "Judging by the clip you just sent, you killed it at last night's game! Teach me to shoot a three pointer one day?" [8]
    • "Your green eyes make me melt. I could get lost in them."
    • "I love the way your voice sounds when you laugh."
    • "You have the best sense of humor! No one ever makes me giggle this hard."
    • "You’re literally the hottest guy I’ve ever seen. No contest."
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4

Games

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    This is an easy way to get to know each other while getting your flirt on. Any either/or questions are fair game! Start with weird or silly stuff and then crank it up a notch with flirty questions. Keep the questions light and fun; avoid religion and politics, which aren’t particularly flirty topics. [9] Try questions like:
    • "Hold hands or lock arms?"
    • "Bath or shower?"
    • "Fast or slow?"
    • "Eyes open or closed?"
    • "Good listener or good kisser?"
5

Cute selfies

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    Pictures don’t have to be provocative or revealing to make an impression. Plus, if you haven’t known him that long, sending cute selfies can help you test the waters before graduating to sexier stuff! If you want to feel closer to him, send pics of your surroundings and everyday stuff, too. [10] In your selfies, you can be:
    • Smiling, winking, or blowing him a kiss.
      • Optional text: “My face every time you message me.”
    • Sitting on a couch with an empty space next to you.
      • With text like: “That space is reserved for you.”
    • Trying on a cute new outfit.
      • Optional text: “Okay, be honest: is this cute?”
    • Making a funny or silly face.
      • With text like: “I challenge you to a funny face duel. En garde!”
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6

Memes

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    Meme sharing is a lowkey way to let him know he's on your mind. There’s no shortage of hilarious memes out there to choose from, so dive in! Any meme topic is good as long as it’s funny and light. For example, send memes about:
    • Being in a long distance relationship
    • Shared interests like books, movies, or TV shows [11]
    • Adorable animals
    • Pop culture references
    • Absurd news headlines [12]
7

Emojis

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  1. Emojis are really cute and you can say a lot with them. Don't underestimate the power of a properly placed emoji! You can use emojis to communicate all sorts of cute, sweet, and sassy messages without having to type any words at all. [13] Try out some of these ideas:
    • Try this after one-liners or memes so he knows you're being silly: 🙃
    • Respond to his flirty texts or selfies with: 🔥 😍 🎯 🌶
    • These pair well with flirty and sassy remarks: 😉 😈
    • Respond with sweet or romantic emojis like: 💕 😍 💋
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8

Romantic texts

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    Aim for more romantic stuff if you’re in a relationship with him. If you haven't revealed your feelings yet, skip the romantic texts and stick with lighthearted options like memes for now. However, if he's your boyfriend, or if you’ve already shared your feelings and you know he feels the same way, romantic flirting can be a fun and sweet way to feel closer. [14] Try messages like:
    • "Suddenly, all the love songs are about you."
    • "You’re the only guy for me in the whole wide world."
    • ”I see your face every time I close my eyes."
    • "Happiness is having someone to think about. I’m very happy."
    • "You are my favorite daydream." [15]
9

Goodnight texts

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    A flirty message right before bed is a perfect way to end the day. An innocent “goodnight” text is a great way to let your guy know you’re thinking of him. Since you're both in bed, though, "goodnight” texts are also great opportunities to transition into sexier territory! [16] Try messages like:
    • "Sweet dreams xoxo"
    • "Goodnight! Can’t wait to chat with you more tomorrow."
    • "Since you’re always on my mind, I expect to have awesome dreams tonight!"
    • "I love that you’re my last thought before I fall asleep."
    • "This bed is awfully lonely without you..."
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10

Naughty texts

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    Sexting is definitely fun, but err on the side of caution. If you’re in a relationship and trust him, give it a go! The naughtiness level is up to you, but it’s a good idea to start slow and test the waters. If he responds enthusiastically, take it up a notch; if he seems meh, cool it for now. A few openers to get you started:
    • "In the mood to have some fun?" [17]
    • "I am feeling a little naughty right now. Just sayin’.”
    • "If you were here right now, we'd be doing a lot less talking..." [18]
    • "I am imagining your hands all over my body right now." [19]
11

Nudes and videos

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    Sending a nude may seem like a good idea in the heat of the moment, but once you send it, you can’t get it back. Make sure you trust him before sharing intimate photos or videos. Even if he’s trustworthy, he could lose his phone or his friends/parents might see as they’re walking by, so keep the risks in mind and do what feels right for you.
    • To test the waters, open with something like, "I’ll show you mine if you show me yours..."
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Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How do I keep a guy interested over text?
    Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
    Marriage & Family Therapist
    Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).
    Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
    Marriage & Family Therapist
    Expert Answer
    Give him a nice compliment so he knows that you're interested in him.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-digitally/201806/why-do-we-flirt-text
      2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-digitally/201806/why-do-we-flirt-text
      3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/flirting
      4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/social-lights/202401/9-surefire-ways-to-nurture-a-long-distance-relationship
      5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/flirting
      6. ↑ Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC. Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview. 7 August 2019.
      7. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evidence-based-living/202109/the-psychology-compliments-nice-word-goes-long-way
      8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-the-name-love/202103/what-makes-good-flirt
      9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-the-name-love/202103/what-makes-good-flirt
      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-the-name-love/202103/what-makes-good-flirt
      2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-psychology-relationships/202010/the-science-flirting-deciphering-subtle-signals
      3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/joyful-parenting/201512/5-texts-you-should-send-your-partner-every-day
      4. ↑ https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2451958822000768
      5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/hide-and-seek/201606/these-are-the-7-types-love
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/joyful-parenting/201512/5-texts-you-should-send-your-partner-every-day
      7. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/joyful-parenting/201512/5-texts-you-should-send-your-partner-every-day
      8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/myths-desire/201906/the-science-sexting-in-committed-relationships
      9. ↑ https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-do-people-sext-and-who-is-likely-to-do-it/
      10. ↑ https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-do-people-sext-and-who-is-likely-to-do-it/

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