How to Focus in Life

Co-authored by Rahti Gorfien, PCC and Christopher M. Osborne, PhD

Last Updated: November 18, 2021 Approved

When you start to lose sight of what matters in your life, it's usually a sign that it's time to eliminate the distractions and get focused again. Luckily, there are plenty of ways to get back on track and stay focused on what's important to you. Our how-to guide will help you remember to be mindful so you can get back to pursuing your goals.

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Often people lose focus because they are working too hard or not hard enough. When you understand what led you to act a certain way and lose focus, you can react accordingly. Keep in mind why you aren't focused throughout reading this article. You know you best. If you analyze yourself, you can use the steps below according to how you think. ^{[1]
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lifehack.org/articles/productivity/how-organize-your-life-10-habits-really-organized-people.html} You can't be clear on what you're doing unless you organize your thoughts. Think through what your goals are. Be very clear and deliberate in titling what is a goal to you. Think about the big picture when you organize your thoughts. Decide where you want to go physically, mentally, or even emotionally. But try to have a solid and tangible goal such as working or living in a particular place. Make sure that this goal is reasonable, however.

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Research source} If you want to work in a particular place, know why. Is it for money, happiness, or even for others? You can't focus unless you know exactly why you do what you do. If you said yes to a task or goal because you were afraid of disappointing or hurting someone, rethink your goal. Doing something because you want to avoid hurting another drains your energy. In some regards, you have to do what is best for you and not others.
Don't put the weight all on yourself to get somewhere. Absolutely focus on what you want to do and understand why, however know that you can't do everything. There are some jobs that others will volunteer to do and it's your job to let them do it . If there are tasks on your to do list that keep you from doing what you feel you really need to do, then let others know you need a hand. If they realize you trust them and think they're capable, others will step up and help you. If they aren't doing a good job at a task, then take a short amount of time to help them out with it. Just be sure not to criticize them but rather coach. They're helping you, not the other way around. ^{[4]
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Understand what it most important to you reaching your ultimate goal. Every day set aside some time for yourself to jot down everything that's important for you to accomplish. Always stop and question why you're doing something and double check that it's an important thing for you to do. Never lose track of why you're doing a specific thing or else you will lose focus. ^{[5]
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If you overwork yourself, you will eventually get tired and lose focus. Non-productive time is absolutely okay. In fact, you may find that non-productive moments in your life are priceless. Don't be afraid to go out with friends for a night or two. Don't make it a habit, but absolutely give yourself a break occasionally. ^{[6]
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Research source} Creativity and focus demand you give yourself some breathing time. You can't let your creative juices flow if you're constantly working.
When you're taking the occasional break, tell your friend or family member what task you're finding difficult. Not only may you get some good ideas from them, but talking about it could also make the task at hand much easier for you to work around because you're in a creative atmosphere. Work is often a recited, repetitive task. Talking instills more freedom. By talking, you are giving yourself the freedom to converse your thoughts on a project and quite possibly come up with brand new and interesting ideas.
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Research source} Even though you want to distract yourself occasionally, don't make a habit of it. Keep a mindset in which you focus on your goals without burning yourself out. An underlying focus you should always have is maintaining or finding happiness. Finding a balance between work and distractions is ideal. Every day make sure you remember your motives to do what you do.

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How can I focus on my goals instead of a love life?

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You are not alone when it comes to this predicament. The desire for a loving companion in life is normal, but there are times in life when other goals should supersede that desire; in fact, working on your life goals can actually help you progress towards a fulfilling love life. When you have developed yourself as a person and gotten to know yourself better, you will find it much easier to find a partner since you will have more of yourself to offer to someone else. If you have a positive mindset and take care of yourself, you will naturally attract people who are on the same positive trajectory as you. You don't want just anyone -- you want a person who is also goal-oriented and positive, just like yourself.

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How can I focus better on conversations?

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It's possible that the real issue is a lack of interest in the conversation material or even the person you're conversing with. Try to come up with topics that you enjoy talking about and steer the conversation in that direction. You might also have issues listening rather than talking, in which case you should practice focusing on what other people are saying more than what you want to say.

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I want to achieve a lot of goals simultaneously. Often it's very tough for me to make a selection among my goals. How can I manage this challenge?

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One simple way is to determine the end date of those goals. Decide by when do you want to complete those goals. If the goals are more about learning concepts or how to do something without a given deadline then consider spending a portion of your free time pursuing one goal each month. A month should be long enough to decide whether to continue after or move on to something else.

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Focusing on something takes time. Don't get discouraged if you don't succeed right away. ^{[8]
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Be sure to find a visual aid that works for you. Whether it be a calendar, planner, or even a diagram of a sort, have something that will help you remember what you should do and maybe even why.

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