Fighting with a friend

03/31/25 12:08pm

I have 2 friends called D and B. I first met D and then became friends with B. I don't want to be friends with D anymore but I don't know how to say it to her because she always makes a fight. Though she is kind I'm tired of fighting. I can't be ME because she is always critical. I don't what to do.
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wikiHow Editorial Team

03/31/25 12:09pm

It can be really tough when a friend is critical of you, especially if you feel like you can't be yourself around her. If your friend makes you feel bad about yourself, then it might be worth addressing it with her. You could talk to her one-on-one and give a few examples of things she's said that were hurtful. She may not realize how her words are affecting you, and may be willing to work on things.

If she's not receptive to the conversation or continues to criticize you, it's okay to end the friendship. You can either tell her directly that you think you've grown apart, or just stop reaching out or making plans with her. Try not to put your other friend in the middle, though—it's okay if they still want to be friends with both of you. Avoid talking badly about the girl you're not getting along with and don't put your other friend in a situation in which she has to choose sides.

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Jessica George, MA, CHt
Certified Professional Master Life Coach

03/31/25 1:05pm

There are a few different ways to go about things if you’re fighting with a friend. First, if things are just feeling a little off in your relationship, try not to make assumptions about their feelings. You might suspect or think you understand, but you don’t know until you actually ask them. Go to the source, be kind, and ask if something’s wrong, or if they feel like they have something to discuss with you. If they ask why, simply say that you’re worried because you’re seeing their behavior change a bit, and you want to make sure they’re okay. Avoid being defensive at all costs.

If your friend did something overtly offensive or hurtful to you, try not to jump to conclusions about why they did it. You won’t know the truth until you hear their explanation, but you do need to be ready to hear it, and you need to be ready to talk about how it made you feel. They might not be aware that they hurt you, so you could be calling attention to something they didn’t even realize they did. You can also try giving them the floor to discuss their feelings. Listen first, then explain to them why their behavior hurt you and that you want them to be cognizant of this behavior in the future.

Unfortunately, it can be hard to end friendships gracefully since there are so many emotions involved. However, if something terrible has happened that warrants you having to end the relationship, it’s okay to quietly slip out and stop contacting or connecting with them. If you see them in social situations, simply smile and say hello, but do not engage. Big friend groups always have a few people in them who do not like one another, and this is perfectly okay. Just make sure not to say anything derogatory about them, and always stay classy.

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Trace_Ace693

04/01/25 1:17pm

I've tried talking to her and she was being rude and angry. Every year we have a fight for petty little things that D causes. I don't want to be best friends anymore but I told her we could still be on friends but she declined the offer and ever since she keeps on giving me and my best friend V side eyes and glaring at us.

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Nemesis0410

04/03/25 6:44am

Honestly, I don't like saying this, but she might be a lost cause. Might be best to ignore her, and if she keeps being mean, don't be afraid to call her out, and don't hold anything back.

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