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Getting a girl can seem like the hardest thing in the world, especially if you have no idea where to start. Getting a girl in one night is an added challenge, as it doesn’t leave much time for you to get to know each other—but it can be done! Whether you’re looking for a one night stand or a long-term relationship, you can keep a few tips in mind to pick up a woman in a single evening.
Steps
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Brush your hair, wash your face, and put on deodorant. You want women to see you at your best, right? The first step is to nail those basic grooming habits, so don’t forget to spruce up a bit before you head out. [1] X Research source
- If you want to put on some cologne or perfume, keep it light. Too much smell can turn people off (or even give them a headache).
- If you normally wear makeup, feel free to put some on! Whatever makes you feel cool and comfortable.
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Wear clean, flattering clothes. [2] X Expert Source Alessandra Conti
Celebrity Matchmaker & Dating Coach Expert Interview. 23 April 2021. You don’t have to dress for a black tie event, especially if you’re heading out to a club or a bar. Go for simple clothes that make you look and feel good (and make sure they’re clean and wrinkle-free!) that fit in with where you’re going. [3] X Research source- If you are going somewhere super fancy (like a dinner party), feel free to dress up!
- For a masculine look, go for dark wash jeans, a basic T-shirt, and a structured jacket.
- For a more feminine look, try some high waisted jeans, a crop top, and some booties.
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Project open, confident body language. [4] X Expert Source Alessandra Conti
Celebrity Matchmaker & Dating Coach Expert Interview. 23 April 2021. Look around and try to make eye contact with others, then smile. Don’t cross your arms or legs; instead, keep your body open so you look more approachable. Put away your phone and take off your headphones so you don’t look too busy to chat. [5] X Research source- If you want something to do with your hands, grab a drink to sip on.
- Try to look at your phone as little as possible. If women think you’re absorbed in your technology, they’ll be less likely to come up and talk to you.
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Go to bars and clubs in your area. In general, people who visit these places are more likely to be open to a relationship (short-term or long-term). Start by heading to a local place that’s often frequented by people your own age, like a bar, a nightclub, or a houseparty. [6] X Research source
- Remember, you don’t have to drink alcohol if you don’t want to, even if you’re going to a club or a bar. Soda is perfectly fine!
- It will be much easier to approach a woman when you’re both in party mode. Approaching women on the street when they’re out and about can be tough, and it could make them feel uncomfortable.
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Look for a woman who seems open to being approached. If she is bouncing around and talking to other people, catches your eye and smiles, or has open body language, there’s a good chance she wouldn’t mind it if you came up and talked to her. Try catching her eye and smiling to see if she’s interested, and don’t take it personally if she isn’t. [7] X Research source
- Don’t assume that every woman you see is single or looking for a relationship. Just because she’s out at a bar or a nightclub doesn’t necessarily mean she’s looking for anything right now.
- If she has headphones on or is in the middle of something (like reading a book), she probably isn’t interested.
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Approach with light, positive conversation. Talk about something small, like the weather outside or the song that’s playing. The goal isn't to have a deep conversation—it's to evaluate her body language and whether she's receptive (and for her to check you out too). [8] X Research source
- Try saying something like, “I noticed you bobbing your head to the music. I love this song too!”
- Remember, women are just people! There’s no need to use a cheesy pickup line or flirt heavily right away.
- Make sure you respect her personal space, and don’t get too close too quickly.
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Ask her about herself. Now’s your chance to get to know her a little bit. Ask her name, what kind of night she’s having, and what she does for work. Pay attention to how she reacts to gauge whether or not she’s interested. [9] X Research source
- Try asking something like, “So are you here with your friends?”
- If she’s responding to all your questions and asking some of her own, that means she’s probably interested in continuing the conversation.
- If you’re getting short, one-word answers, it’s probably time to wrap it up and go somewhere else.
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Pay attention to her body language to see if she’s interested. There are a few things a woman might do to let you know that she’s into you, including touching you on the arm, making eye contact, and laughing at your jokes (even if they’re not that funny). If she’s mirroring your body language and leaning in to talk to you, you’re probably doing something right! [10] X Research source
- If she’s crossing her arms, not meeting your eyes, or is turning away from you, she’s probably not interested.
- These signs aren’t hard and fast rules, and all women are different. Look for open body language, but don’t rely on it 100%.
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Move on if she doesn’t seem into you. If the woman you’re talking to isn’t sending out signals, it’s best to wrap up the convo and go somewhere else. Trying to convince a woman to be into you probably won’t end well, and you might end up making her feel uncomfortable. [11] X Research source
- You can smile, say “Have a good evening, thanks for the chat,” and walk away.
- Some women have a hard time saying no, even when they don’t want to talk. Take it upon yourself to not make her feel uncomfortable.
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Give her a compliment or two. [12] X Expert Source Alessandra Conti
Celebrity Matchmaker & Dating Coach Expert Interview. 23 April 2021. Talk about her hair, her eyes, her outfit, her smile, or something similar. If she seems pleased, rather than awkward, this is a good sign! [13] X Research source- Try something like, “I really like your hair! It looks great pulled back like that.”
- She might even compliment you back, which is a great sign.
- Don’t overdo it with compliments. Stick to one or two so you don’t seem overeager.
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Break the touch barrier. As you two talk, try brushing some lint from her sleeve or placing a hand on her shoulder as you laugh. Find an excuse to gently touch her arm or her shoulder (nothing more than that) to see if she’s okay with it. If she doesn’t pull away or she touches you back, it’s a good sign that she’s into you. [14] X Research source
- If she pulls back or looks uncomfortable, don’t push it.
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Invite her to leave with you if you’d like to hook up with her. You can suggest going back to your place or just somewhere a little more private. Make sure you do this when you’re sure she’s into you and after you’ve had a nice conversation for a little while. [15] X Research source
- Some women are hesitant to go home with someone they’ve just met (which is totally normal). She might suggest going back to her place or just exchanging numbers instead.
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Ask to exchange numbers if you’re interested in something more serious. Taking someone home the first time you meet them doesn’t make you seem very interested in a relationship. If you’d like to actually go on a date, suggest exchanging numbers to talk about when you can meet up next. [16] X Research source
- If she’s only interested in hooking up, she might ask you to come home with her instead of exchanging numbers. You can decide if you’d like to do that or not.
- Make sure to ask for her number rather than just her Instagram or Snapchat.
- Reader Poll: We asked 632 wikiHow readers and only 9% recommend following and engaging with their social media accounts as a good way to connect with women. [Take Poll]
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Accept rejection if it happens. Even if you’ve been getting good vibes all night, it doesn’t mean that a woman is into you. If you propose taking her home or exchanging numbers and she says no, don’t get offended! Count it as a lesson learned and thank her for a fun and interesting conversation. [17] X Research source
- Getting angry or coercing a woman into spending more time with you will never work, and it will only make her feel uncomfortable.
Expert Q&A
Search
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QuestionHow tell if a girl is flirting with you?Alessandra Conti is a Celebrity Matchmaker, Dating Coach, and Co-Founder of Matchmakers In The City, a personal Matchmaking firm headquartered in Los Angeles, California. Alessandra is a Matchmaker behind MTV's, “Are You The One”, and is the go-to Celebrity Matchmaker for shows like NBC's Access Hollywood, and CBS's Face The Truth. Her dating and relationship advice has been featured on Forbes, Elite Daily, The New Yorker, The LA Times, and Fox News. For nearly 10 years, Alessandra has worked with clients ranging from celebrities to young professionals and leads a team of matchmakers responsible for hundreds of marriages through their knowledge of interpersonal relationships, body language, and lie detection. She holds a BA in Communications from American University and is a Matchmaking Institute Certified Matchmaker (CMM).So for some females flirting is like giggling excessively and, playing with her hair, that's for some people, but for other females, flirting can be being sarcastic and being witty, or just laughing and having a great time. Another indicator that a female is flirting with you is through verbally affirming, so verbally complimenting the guy.
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Tips
- It's okay to be picky! If something doesn't feel right, it probably would be unsatisfying to pursue.Thanks
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Warnings
- Don't push a girl who seems agitated, awkward, or upset.Thanks
References
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vzq1Yxw6Kyc&feature=youtu.be&t=67
- ↑ Alessandra Conti. Celebrity Matchmaker & Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 23 April 2021.
- ↑ https://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/article/what-to-wear-on-a-first-date
- ↑ Alessandra Conti. Celebrity Matchmaker & Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 23 April 2021.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201305/how-get-guys-or-gals-attention
- ↑ https://www.businessinsider.com/dating-coach-says-best-places-to-pick-up-women-2012-8
- ↑ http://www.stopstreetharassment.org/resources/male-allies/how-to-talk-to-women/
- ↑ http://www.stopstreetharassment.org/resources/male-allies/how-to-talk-to-women/
- ↑ https://www.gq.com/story/how-to-talk-to-women
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/let-their-words-do-the-talking/201607/5-ways-tell-someone-likes-you
- ↑ http://www.stopstreetharassment.org/resources/male-allies/how-to-talk-to-women/
- ↑ Alessandra Conti. Celebrity Matchmaker & Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 23 April 2021.
- ↑ https://time.com/59786/how-to-flirt-backed-by-scientific-research/
- ↑ https://time.com/59786/how-to-flirt-backed-by-scientific-research/
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqzKlR9smTE&feature=youtu.be&t=150
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201105/just-asking-it-part-i
- ↑ http://www.stopstreetharassment.org/resources/male-allies/how-to-talk-to-women/
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- "This girl in my science class always looked at me, and after reading this I gained the confidence to make my move. I started talking to her and we became friends. We texted, and hung out a couple times. I decided to ask her out. This article was very helpful." ..." more
"This girl in my science class always looked at me, and after reading this I gained the confidence to make my move. I started talking to her and we became friends. We texted, and hung out a couple times. I decided to ask her out. This article was very helpful."
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