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Not all men are unfaithful. A monogamous relationship can be fulfilling and life-changing. However, an unfaithful relationship can cause someone to feel insecure and spiteful about themselves and their relationships. It is important to learn to recognize a healthy relationship and to find a man who will not cheat.
Steps
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Recognize sincerity. Being sincere means expressing oneself openly and without pretense. Look for this key personality trait when searching for a faithful man. Try and observe sincere actions in a man before getting in a serious relationship with him. Look for things like:
- Doing things without looking for a reward or recognition. For example, has he helped someone with something, not been rewarded, and been okay with that? Or has he shown resentment?
- Standing up for his own beliefs. For example, has he stated he likes a person but then talks negatively when s/he is not around? Or, is he sincere and sticks up for that person?
- Not acting against his stated values. For example, if he has remarked he does not like drunk people, does he avoid getting drunk himself?
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Look for honesty. You want a man who exemplifies honesty in his everyday life; this will, hopefully, translate into his love life. Watch, listen, and learn about how honest of a person he is before you commit yourself to a relationship. A man may lie to get into a relationship with you so it is important to look for a honest partner. Consider:
- Do his actions match his words? Pay attention to the things he does, rather than the things he says. Does he say he loves to work out but he never seems to be at the gym, doing sports, or exercising? Look for inconsistencies in what he says and what he seems to do. [1] X Research source
- Trust your own judgement. If you feel like he is lying to you, ask him about it. If he falters or tries to make excuses, he may be dishonest. It is better to voice your concerns then to let them fester. [2] X Research source
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Identify openness and non-defensiveness. When meeting a potential partner, be sure to talk to him at length. [3] X Research source See how open he is with his feelings, opinions, and responses. If he is defensive about his views or gets angry easily when you ask him questions, this might be a red flag in a relationship.
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Watch for signs of respect. It's said you can tell a lot about a person by how he treats wait staff. [4] X Research source Observe how he treats other people such as waiters, service people, neighbors, and strangers. [5] X Research source If he is rude or dismissing what is important, perhaps this may be a red flag on how he will treat you in a future relationship.
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Have something in common. The more time you spend in your man's company, the less temptation he will have to be unfaithful. When looking for a partner, try to find someone who shares your interests. That way, you can spend quality time together doing something you both enjoy. Consider looking:
- At the gym
- At a sporting event
- At a church or community event
- At school/college
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Ask about relationship status. Do not be duped by a man who is already in a relationship who is cheating with you on someone else. When you are interested in entering a relationship, be sure to ask about his relationship status. He may try and hide the fact he is still married or that he has another girlfriend. Be upfront and ask if you two are exclusive. Look for red flags of a man already in a relationship. Watch for:
- Him getting defensive or reluctant to show you where he lives.
- Not letting you use or see his phone.
- Leaving to take or make phone calls when you are out with him.
- Canceling plans unexpectedly.
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Avoid hotel bars. More than 35% of men polled reported that they give into the temptation to cheat while away on business trips. [6] X Research source When looking for a man, avoid places where a lonely traveling man might hang out, like a hotel bar or restaurant.
- Alternatively, if you enter a relationship with a man who travels frequently, be wary of him cheating! Make sure you talk to him about your concerns.
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Avoid dating known cheaters. The old adage of “once a cheater, always a cheater” may be true. Studies have shown that men who have cheated, and not have faced serious consequences of their actions, are more likely to cheat again. If you know, or find out, that your man has cheated, consider looking elsewhere for a faithful relationship.
- You can determine if he has cheated on his previous relationships by discreetly looking into his past. Ask mutual friends of his ex-girlfriends to see why they broke up.
- It's always a good idea to gather information before you get too serious into a relationship! It might save you a broken heart in the long run.
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Observe your man around attractive women. This is a good way to observe how faithful he will be to you. Appreciating beauty is one thing, undressing with his eyes or ogling is definitely another! Be wary if he:
- Stares at women for an unnatural or creepy amount of time.
- Makes flirtatious comments to other women only to pass it off as a joke or insincere later.
- Jokes with you or his friends about “how hot” other women are.
- Tells you that you should change to look like other women.
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Make your intentions clear. Some men might take advantage of you if you do not state your intentions clearly in a relationship. When you've met a man you want to have a relationship with, consider sitting down and having a conversation like:
- ”We are going to be an exclusive couple, right? I'm not interested in sleeping with another man. What about you?”
- ”My last boyfriend cheated on me and it made me really angry.”
- ”Have you ever been cheated on? How'd it make you feel?”
- You can also be direct and ask, “Have you ever cheated on a partner?”
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Keep things sexy. When polled, 92% of unfaithful men said they cheated on their wives or girlfriends because of a lack of emotional connection. Once you are in a relationship, try and keep the emotional spark alive. Consider:
- Talking to your partner about what makes him unhappy or unfulfilled.
- Surprising your partner with a sexy night in or a nice date.
- Tell your partner how much you appreciate him. Give specific examples like: “I really appreciate how sexy you make me feel.”
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Recognize evasiveness or defensiveness. There are some behavioral signs that your man might be cheating on you. Watch for evasiveness when you are asking direct questions on where he has been. [7] X Research source Also, see if he gets defensive when holding a conversation. If he says things like this, you may be in trouble:
- ”It's none of your business who I'm texting/calling”
- ”Why do you want to see my phone?”
- ”I'm an adult. I do not need to tell you where I was.”
- ”Where were YOU last night?”
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Know that you deserve to be happy. You deserve to be with someone who is faithful and makes you happy. It can be a confidence drain if you have been cheated on in the past. Consider seeking a counselor or therapist to build confidence and self-worth before looking for a new relationship. Try these ways to build self confidence :
- Cultivate a positive attitude by avoiding negative thoughts or actions.
- Practice daily affirmations such as “I am a strong woman who deserves a man who will treat me with respect.”
- Surround yourself with a strong network of friends.
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References
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/samantha-daniels/how-to-tell-if-the-man-yo_b_806803.html
- ↑ http://www.forbes.com/2006/11/03/detecting-lies-trust-tech_06trust_cx_ee_1103lies.html
- ↑ http://www.professional-counselling.com/your-husband-or-wife-is-cheating.html
- ↑ http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/money/companies/management/2006-04-14-ceos-waiter-rule_x.htm
- ↑ http://www.psychalive.org/seven-qualities-of-an-ideal-partner/
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/22/why-people-cheat_n_2483371.html
- ↑ http://www.abuseandrelationships.org/Content/Behaviors/subtle_control.html
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