Your love language is how you show your affection, so it makes sense that your hate language is how you show your frustration. What’s your hate language? Are you a cold-shoulder hater? A sneaky seeker of revenge? Or something else?
Answer these simple personality questions, and we’ll tell you your hate language and what it says about you.
Questions Overview
- I show up to the party anyway to make them uncomfortable.
- I block them on everything and cut them out of my life. Bye!
- I plan my own, better party and invite all the same people.
- I call them out online and expose them for the two-faced person they are.
- An icy chill that freezes me.
- A raging fire that hurts others around me.
- A strong wind that moves me against my will.
- A flood that dampens my senses.
- Ignore me.
- Call me names.
- Lie to me.
- Steal from me.
- I shove them out of line. Two can play at that game.
- I complain to a manager. That won't fly with me.
- I tell them that they’re rude. Sometimes you just have to say what's on your mind.
- I breathe down their neck. They can cut, but they won't be comfortable.
- I let it slide. I have bigger problems.
- Venting to a friend, or to a journal.
- Working out and sweating off my frustration.
- Meditating and realigning with what matters.
- Distracting myself with fun things like video games.
- Communication
- Trust
- Shared values
- Patience
- I struggle to say what's on my mind.
- I struggle to set boundaries and stick to them.
- I struggle to show physical affection.
- I struggle to remember important things, like big dates or their interests.
- Yeah. It doesn't take much to set me off.
- Sort of. I lose my cool now and then.
- Nope, nothing shakes me.
- Someone insulting me.
- Someone physically hurting me.
- Someone manipulating me.
- Yes. The cycle has to stop somewhere.
- Sort of, but sometimes you just have to get even.
- No. If you can't ever fight back, you'll just get taken advantage of forever.
- Step on their shoe. Now we're even.
- Give them a light shove away. Respect my personal space, man.
- Flag them down and demand an apology. They need to learn a lesson.
- Give them a mean look that'll haunt them for the rest of the day.
- Throw away the invitation. No, thank you.
- Show up and propose to my partner at their wedding.
- Rip up the invite and mail it back to send a message.
- Find their fiancé and tell them everything that's wrong with my enemy.
- Attend the wedding just to eat at the buffet. Hey, it's free food.
More Quizzes
Of course, criticism can be helpful when it's constructive and asked for. Next time you feel yourself getting frustrated with someone, say, \"Can I give you some feedback?\" Then, wrap your criticism in a compliment sandwich, like, \"I appreciate your enthusiasm, but I don't need your help right now, and it might just get in the way. But thank you for offering, that's very kind.\" That way, you can vent your anger in a helpful, polite way that's less likely to come off as rude.
For more info on controlling anger and hate, check out these resources:
- Anger Management Guide<\/a><\/li>
- All About Anger<\/a><\/li><\/ul>","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Criticize-Constructively"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Know-the-Difference-Between-Constructive-and-Non-Constructive-Criticism"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Criticize Constructively","id":15271,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Criticize-Constructively","relUrl":"\/Criticize-Constructively","image":"\/images\/thumb\/3\/35\/Criticize-Constructively-Step-11-Version-5.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Criticize-Constructively-Step-11-Version-5.jpg","alt":"How to Criticize Constructively"},{"title":"How to Know the Difference Between Constructive and Non Constructive Criticism","id":780717,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Know-the-Difference-Between-Constructive-and-Non-Constructive-Criticism","relUrl":"\/Know-the-Difference-Between-Constructive-and-Non-Constructive-Criticism","image":"\/images\/thumb\/9\/94\/Be-Noticed-Step-7.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Be-Noticed-Step-7.jpg","alt":"How to Know the Difference Between Constructive and Non Constructive Criticism"}],"minimum":0,"image":"","image_url":""},{"number":2,"text":"Your hate language is neglect.","meaning":"Neglect is the opposite of quality time. When you like someone, you might want to spend time with them. But when you're frustrated with someone, you tend to give them the cold shoulder. You ice them out and tend to ignore them, because you just can't stand to look at them. And honestly, we don't blame you. You're trying to control your frustration instead of taking it out on them, and that's a good impulse. The problems start when communication breaks down and the other person is left wondering what they did wrong.
It's okay to take a step back and cool your head, but next time you get angry with someone, try dropping a quick comment to explain your feelings. You might say, \"I love you, but I'm feeling overwhelmed and frustrated right now and need some time to myself.\" That way, you can get your distance and come back when you're ready without leaving the other person out to dry.
For more info on controlling anger and hate, check out these resources:- Anger Management Guide<\/a><\/li>
- All About Anger<\/a><\/li><\/ul>","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Ignore-Insults"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Ignore-Someone"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Ignore Insults","id":110282,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Ignore-Insults","relUrl":"\/Ignore-Insults","image":"\/images\/thumb\/d\/d7\/Ignore-Insults-Step-20.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Ignore-Insults-Step-20.jpg","alt":"How to Ignore Insults"},{"title":"How to Ignore Someone","id":23751,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Ignore-Someone","relUrl":"\/Ignore-Someone","image":"\/images\/thumb\/7\/7b\/Ignore-Someone-Step-13-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Ignore-Someone-Step-13-Version-2.jpg","alt":"How to Ignore Someone"}],"minimum":0,"image":"","image_url":""},{"number":3,"text":"Your hate language is selfishness.","meaning":"Selfishness is the opposite of gift-giving. When you like someone, you might show it by showering them with gifts. But when you're frustrated with them, you cut them off and start prioritizing yourself while also kind of showing off. Maybe you go on a cool adventure without them, or get yourself a gift that they've always wanted. And hey, we get it. Sometimes a little self-care is just what you need to cool your jets and get a level head. The problems start when self-care turns into other-hate.
Next time you're frustrated, feel free to treat yourself, but then do your best to think 3 nice things about the other person. That way, you can help yourself while also starting to heal the relationship, and you can come back when you're ready with a clear mind.
For more info on controlling anger and hate, check out these resources:- Anger Management Guide<\/a><\/li>
- All About Anger<\/a><\/li><\/ul>","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Stop-Being-Selfish"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Know-if-You-Are-Being-Selfish"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Stop Being Selfish","id":22419,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Stop-Being-Selfish","relUrl":"\/Stop-Being-Selfish","image":"\/images\/thumb\/5\/52\/Stop-Being-Selfish-Step-28-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Stop-Being-Selfish-Step-28-Version-2.jpg","alt":"How to Stop Being Selfish"},{"title":"How to Know if You Are Being Selfish","id":9072078,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Know-if-You-Are-Being-Selfish","relUrl":"\/Know-if-You-Are-Being-Selfish","image":"\/images\/thumb\/5\/5e\/Make-Yourself-Happy-Step-6.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Make-Yourself-Happy-Step-6.jpg","alt":"How to Know if You Are Being Selfish"}],"minimum":0,"image":"","image_url":""},{"number":4,"text":"Your hate language is sabotage.","meaning":"Sabotage is the opposite of acts of service. When you like someone, you might want to show it by doing nice things for them. But when you're frustrated with someone, that's when you start plotting their downfall. You don't go too crazy and try to hurt them, but you might try to make things hard. Like, if they're trying to plan a fun outing, you might try to be a wet blanket or ruin their plans. And honestly, we get it! When you're heated, it feels good to make other people feel the same, even if it's not the healthiest response.
Next time you feel frustrated, instead of sabotaging them, wash your hands of the situation and take a step back. Say, \"Sorry, but I'm feeling overwhelmed right now and don't think I'll be very helpful. I'll let you know when I'm feeling better.\" That way, you can get some distance without blowing things up completely.
For more info on controlling anger and hate, check out these resources:- Anger Management Guide<\/a><\/li>
- All About Anger<\/a><\/li><\/ul>","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Avoid-Self-Sabotage-when-You-Feel-Unloved"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Kind"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Avoid Self Sabotage when You Feel Unloved","id":8273169,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Avoid-Self-Sabotage-when-You-Feel-Unloved","relUrl":"\/Avoid-Self-Sabotage-when-You-Feel-Unloved","image":"\/images\/thumb\/c\/cf\/Avoid-Self-Sabotage-when-You-Feel-Unloved-Step-15.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Avoid-Self-Sabotage-when-You-Feel-Unloved-Step-15.jpg","alt":"How to Avoid Self Sabotage when You Feel Unloved"},{"title":"How to Be Kind","id":181088,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Kind","relUrl":"\/Be-Kind","image":"\/images\/thumb\/7\/77\/Be-Kind-Step-24.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Be-Kind-Step-24.jpg","alt":"How to Be Kind"}],"minimum":0,"image":"","image_url":""},{"number":5,"text":"Your hate language is resentment.","meaning":"Resentment is the opposite of physical touch. When you like someone, you might want to touch them with a hug or by holding hands. But when you're frustrated, you tend to simmer and stew on it until your emotional pot boils over and you lash out. You might say something you don't mean, or do something dramatic you regret. We get it, and everyone does it! It's natural to want to hold grudges, even if it's not right.
It's okay to take a step back and cool your head, but next time you get angry with someone, try dropping a quick comment to explain your feelings. You might say, \"I love you, but I'm feeling overwhelmed and frustrated right now and need some time to myself.\" That way, you can get your distance and come back when you're ready without leaving the other person out to dry.
For more info on controlling anger and hate, check out these resources:- Anger Management Guide<\/a><\/li>
- All About Anger<\/a>","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Control-Anger"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Release-Anger"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Control Anger","id":241783,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Control-Anger","relUrl":"\/Control-Anger","image":"\/images\/thumb\/7\/7a\/241783-18.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-241783-18.jpg","alt":"How to Control Anger"},{"title":"How to Release Anger","id":73065,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Release-Anger","relUrl":"\/Release-Anger","image":"\/images\/thumb\/0\/03\/Release-Anger-Step-21-Version-3.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Release-Anger-Step-21-Version-3.jpg","alt":"How to Release Anger"}],"minimum":0,"image":"","image_url":""}]" class="quiz_results_data"/>
<\/picture>","alt":"Are They Your True Friend Quiz"},{"title":"Are They a Good Friend Quiz","id":14580345,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Relationships\/Friend-Quiz","relUrl":"\/Relationships\/Friend-Quiz","image":"
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- All About Anger<\/a>","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Control-Anger"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Release-Anger"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Control Anger","id":241783,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Control-Anger","relUrl":"\/Control-Anger","image":"\/images\/thumb\/7\/7a\/241783-18.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-241783-18.jpg","alt":"How to Control Anger"},{"title":"How to Release Anger","id":73065,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Release-Anger","relUrl":"\/Release-Anger","image":"\/images\/thumb\/0\/03\/Release-Anger-Step-21-Version-3.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Release-Anger-Step-21-Version-3.jpg","alt":"How to Release Anger"}],"minimum":0,"image":"","image_url":""}]" class="quiz_results_data"/>
- All About Anger<\/a><\/li><\/ul>","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Avoid-Self-Sabotage-when-You-Feel-Unloved"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Kind"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Avoid Self Sabotage when You Feel Unloved","id":8273169,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Avoid-Self-Sabotage-when-You-Feel-Unloved","relUrl":"\/Avoid-Self-Sabotage-when-You-Feel-Unloved","image":"\/images\/thumb\/c\/cf\/Avoid-Self-Sabotage-when-You-Feel-Unloved-Step-15.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Avoid-Self-Sabotage-when-You-Feel-Unloved-Step-15.jpg","alt":"How to Avoid Self Sabotage when You Feel Unloved"},{"title":"How to Be Kind","id":181088,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Be-Kind","relUrl":"\/Be-Kind","image":"\/images\/thumb\/7\/77\/Be-Kind-Step-24.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Be-Kind-Step-24.jpg","alt":"How to Be Kind"}],"minimum":0,"image":"","image_url":""},{"number":5,"text":"Your hate language is resentment.","meaning":"Resentment is the opposite of physical touch. When you like someone, you might want to touch them with a hug or by holding hands. But when you're frustrated, you tend to simmer and stew on it until your emotional pot boils over and you lash out. You might say something you don't mean, or do something dramatic you regret. We get it, and everyone does it! It's natural to want to hold grudges, even if it's not right.
- All About Anger<\/a><\/li><\/ul>","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Stop-Being-Selfish"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Know-if-You-Are-Being-Selfish"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Stop Being Selfish","id":22419,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Stop-Being-Selfish","relUrl":"\/Stop-Being-Selfish","image":"\/images\/thumb\/5\/52\/Stop-Being-Selfish-Step-28-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Stop-Being-Selfish-Step-28-Version-2.jpg","alt":"How to Stop Being Selfish"},{"title":"How to Know if You Are Being Selfish","id":9072078,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Know-if-You-Are-Being-Selfish","relUrl":"\/Know-if-You-Are-Being-Selfish","image":"\/images\/thumb\/5\/5e\/Make-Yourself-Happy-Step-6.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Make-Yourself-Happy-Step-6.jpg","alt":"How to Know if You Are Being Selfish"}],"minimum":0,"image":"","image_url":""},{"number":4,"text":"Your hate language is sabotage.","meaning":"Sabotage is the opposite of acts of service. When you like someone, you might want to show it by doing nice things for them. But when you're frustrated with someone, that's when you start plotting their downfall. You don't go too crazy and try to hurt them, but you might try to make things hard. Like, if they're trying to plan a fun outing, you might try to be a wet blanket or ruin their plans. And honestly, we get it! When you're heated, it feels good to make other people feel the same, even if it's not the healthiest response.
- All About Anger<\/a><\/li><\/ul>","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Ignore-Insults"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Ignore-Someone"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Ignore Insults","id":110282,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Ignore-Insults","relUrl":"\/Ignore-Insults","image":"\/images\/thumb\/d\/d7\/Ignore-Insults-Step-20.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Ignore-Insults-Step-20.jpg","alt":"How to Ignore Insults"},{"title":"How to Ignore Someone","id":23751,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Ignore-Someone","relUrl":"\/Ignore-Someone","image":"\/images\/thumb\/7\/7b\/Ignore-Someone-Step-13-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Ignore-Someone-Step-13-Version-2.jpg","alt":"How to Ignore Someone"}],"minimum":0,"image":"","image_url":""},{"number":3,"text":"Your hate language is selfishness.","meaning":"Selfishness is the opposite of gift-giving. When you like someone, you might show it by showering them with gifts. But when you're frustrated with them, you cut them off and start prioritizing yourself while also kind of showing off. Maybe you go on a cool adventure without them, or get yourself a gift that they've always wanted. And hey, we get it. Sometimes a little self-care is just what you need to cool your jets and get a level head. The problems start when self-care turns into other-hate.
- All About Anger<\/a><\/li><\/ul>","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Criticize-Constructively"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Know-the-Difference-Between-Constructive-and-Non-Constructive-Criticism"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Criticize Constructively","id":15271,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Criticize-Constructively","relUrl":"\/Criticize-Constructively","image":"\/images\/thumb\/3\/35\/Criticize-Constructively-Step-11-Version-5.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Criticize-Constructively-Step-11-Version-5.jpg","alt":"How to Criticize Constructively"},{"title":"How to Know the Difference Between Constructive and Non Constructive Criticism","id":780717,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Know-the-Difference-Between-Constructive-and-Non-Constructive-Criticism","relUrl":"\/Know-the-Difference-Between-Constructive-and-Non-Constructive-Criticism","image":"\/images\/thumb\/9\/94\/Be-Noticed-Step-7.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Be-Noticed-Step-7.jpg","alt":"How to Know the Difference Between Constructive and Non Constructive Criticism"}],"minimum":0,"image":"","image_url":""},{"number":2,"text":"Your hate language is neglect.","meaning":"Neglect is the opposite of quality time. When you like someone, you might want to spend time with them. But when you're frustrated with someone, you tend to give them the cold shoulder. You ice them out and tend to ignore them, because you just can't stand to look at them. And honestly, we don't blame you. You're trying to control your frustration instead of taking it out on them, and that's a good impulse. The problems start when communication breaks down and the other person is left wondering what they did wrong.
What are the five hate languages?
What is a hate language?
Hate languages are the opposite of love languages. The idea is that when you dislike someone, you’ll act a certain kind of way toward them, and the way you act can be categorized into one of five behaviors.
What are the hate languages?
- Criticism or words of discouragement: Saying negative things to bring someone down.
- Neglect or alienation: Avoiding someone and cutting them off.
- Selfishness or lack of recognition: Flaunting your own positives in front of them to make them feel bad, and ignoring their accomplishments.
- Sabotage or injustice: Trying to ruin things for the other person.
- Resentment:
Letting your hate simmer and build without saying anything.
What is a love language?
A love language is how you show affection to people you like. It’s an idea created by Gary Chapman to help people understand why and how they think and act in their relationships.
What are the love languages?
- Words of affirmation: Giving compliments or praise.
- Quality time: Spending time with someone to bond.
- Gifts: Giving someone presents to show them appreciation.
- Acts of service: Doing someone favors to express your love.
- Physical touch:
Wanting to touch someone you love, like through hugs, caressing, or hand-holding.
Are love and hate languages real? Yes and no! Love and hate languages aren’t certified psychological practices, but that doesn’t make them fake. They’re all real things that people do, and understanding what they are can help you understand how you interact with others. But you don’t have just one love or hate language! People are complicated, and we all show our love and hate in many different ways depending on the situation.
Want to learn more?
For more information about love and hate languages, check out these resources: