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Having a sibling is something to be thankful for, even if they often get on your nerves. After all, you're a ready-made team and, even if it's not obvious at first, you share plenty in common. If nothing else, you probably spend a lot of time around your siblings, so make the most of it and find ways of having fun together. Work on building a closer relationship, figure out what you enjoy doing, and take turns picking out fun activities. Whether indoors or out, and no matter your ages, you can find plenty of ways to have some fun together.
Steps
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Play outside. There are plenty of outdoor playtime options. Play tag, catch, or make up an adventure. If you're a younger, ask your older sibling to teach you how to do cartwheels, throw a ball better, give you tips on kicking a soccer ball, or whatever else they might be good at.
- If you're older and are playing with a much younger sibling, try planning out a scavenger hunt by hiding little toys or other objects around the yard. Try having them look for certain flowers or leaves. Remember to keep an eye on them and don't hide anything in any potentially dangerous areas.
- Go on bike rides together, or for a walk or jog around the neighborhood, as long you have permission from a parent. If you're taking care of a younger sibling, make sure to keep an eye on them and don't leave them behind.
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Plan a special activity. Do special, unique activities to add diversity and interest to the time you spend together. Find a nearby hiking trail and plan a day to go exploring. If you don't have your own swimming pool, find a nearby recreation center or a beach.
- Try going to a museum together, especially if either of you have an interest in a particular subject. For example, if you're older and can drive, and your sibling loves science, take a trip to a museum of science within driving distance. If you love art and want to share that interest with your sibling, ask them to go to a nearby art museum.
- Go roller skating or ice skating together. If you skate but your sibling doesn't know how, try to teach them, or vice versa.
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Cook together. Cooking and baking together is a great way to have fun while working on cooperation skills. Make fun shaped snacks, such as cookies or sandwiches. Make sure you get a parent's permission, and supervision if necessary, to use the oven or stovetop.
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Make forts. Use blankets, boxes, or sticks and longs to build an awesome fort. Build it inside or outside, depending on the space and materials you have on hand. Tell ghost stories, play a board game, or just hang out and talk in your new special clubhouse.
- Consider asking a parent, relative, neighbor, or other handy adult to help build a more permanent fort or treehouse outside.
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Make arts and crafts. Get creative, and look up various crafts that you both might enjoy. Make a volcano , an art project for your parents, or anything else that interests you. Paint or draw, and think about working together on a project like a comic strip.
- You could try making sock puppets, candles out of broken crayons, modeling clay out of household items, or a miniature city out of boxes and cans.
- Make sure you have a parent's permission when doing arts and crafts and get help from them to avoid making a big mess.
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Enjoy music together. If you both like the same singers or bands, listen to them together and make each other playlists to discover more music. Go to shows together, even if you don't like the same music. Go to a show of your sibling's choice one month, and to one you choose the next month.
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Go shopping. Going to the mall or out shopping can be especially fun if you're around the same age or if one of you needs the fashion advice of the other. Try going to the mall with mutual friends if you're around the same age.
- Maybe you have great taste in clothes and your sibling has a date or special occasion. Without implying that they're unfashionable, offer to help them pick out an outfit.
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Catch a movie. If there's a movie coming out you're both interested in, go see it in theaters together. Plan out a weekend for a movie marathon where you watch your favorite film or television series from beginning to end.
- You definitely each need your own space and own social groups, but if you're around the same age, try to go to movies or other places with mutual friends.
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Keep in touch. The time might come when you or your sibling move away to college or across the country for a job. It can take a little more effort to keep your relationship up. However, with so many forms of communication at your disposal, you can still stay involved in each other's lives no matter the distance. [1] X Research source
- Try to text each other at least every few days. Share something funny about your day with them, send them a meme you saw on social media, or just say "Hey, thinking of you, hope you're having a great day!"
- Do your best to have a phone chat regularly. Try to schedule a date every week or two, or at least once a month. Ask your sibling about their schedule and try to find an hour or so that you're both free.
- Consider using Skype or another video chat service to talk face to face when you can.
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Understand how people and relationships change. Over the years, you and your sibling will develop different ideas of fun, interests, social groups, and priorities. You might become independent or mature at different rates, especially if there's an age difference. Accept that you might be really close at some points in life and might drift away during others. [2] X Research source
- If you feel like your older sibling is growing distant from you, try to understand that they have to be their own person. Have a little faith that the situation is temporary in the long run. Focus on the positives, and ask your older sibling for advice as you get older. [3] X Research source
- If you feel like your little sibling is becoming a shadow, try to take the time to remember that you care for them and that they look up to you. Set aside time to spend with them, even if you're not into the same things anymore. Share advice with them and try to include them in your life as much as you can. [4] X Research source
- As you become teenagers and young adults, try not to hold grudges about things you and your sibling did that annoyed each other you were younger.
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Find common ground. Look for things you both enjoy. Try to be grateful to have one or more siblings who have things in common with you, no matter how different you might be at first glance. Think about how great it is to be in it together, whether you're an older sibling sharing your wisdom or a younger sibling who can look up to a mentor. [5] X Research source
- Even if you think you and your sibling seem completely different, you'll find you share a lot in common if you look closer. Make it clear to each other that you're a team within your family unit and within the broader world because of your history together, your family values, and other circumstances and influences. [6] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
- Try saying, “Hey, it’s really cool to have someone else around who shares my genes, parents, and has gone through some of the same stuff as me!”
- In addition to genes and upbringing, think about activities you and your sibling both enjoy. Maybe you both love a sport, a television show, or to sing. Narrow down some areas of common interest or activities that you both would have fun doing.
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Take turns choosing activities. Siblings often spend lots of time together, and sometimes not all of it can be spent on doing things you both love to do. It's considerate, fair, and often necessary to play a game that your sibling loves, but isn't your favorite. Keep track of who chooses each game or activity, and take turns choosing to make sure you each get to do what you like to do. [7] X Research source
- Your sibling might love playing hide and seek, but you might find it boring. On the other hand, you might love playing video games, but your sibling isn't so great at your favorite game. To compromise, spend an hour or so playing hiding seek, then the next hour playing the video game. Consider playing a video game that your sibling is better at playing to make things more fun for everyone.
- Definitely go for things you both like to do first. If there are only a couple activities you both enjoy, playtime can get pretty boring. Just make sure you both have equal chances to choose the activities.
- If you're older by several years, give your younger sibling the choice of what games to play. Ask them, "What are some of your favorite games? What do you think we could do that's really fun?" Allow them to make more selections, as long as the activities are safe.
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Be yourselves. While it's great to look for common ground, try to remember that you're each individuals and allow each other to be good at different things. Try not to force your sibling to be the person that you want them to be. Give each other space when necessary, and respect each other's talents. [8] X Research source
- If they're really good at something, do your best to show your interest and support, and try not to be jealous.
- It's great if you both enjoy a sport or activity, but don't, for example, start playing basketball just because your sibling plays and you're jealous of the attention they get for it. Play because you like it, or perhaps because you actually want to spend more time with your sibling.
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Work on trusting each other. Try to avoid being a tattletale. Do go to parent(s), or a teacher about every little disagreement. Try to get to know the difference between little and serious issues.
- If your sibling hit you or was otherwise violent, you shouldn't hesitate to tell a parent or trusted adult.
- If your sibling used your hair gel without asking, you can probably talk to them about it without tattling, especially if it's the first offense. Try saying, "It bothers me when you use my stuff without asking. I really need my own space and for both of us to respect each other's belongings."
- If your sibling tattles on your for something silly, tell them, "It hurt my feelings that you tattled on me, especially over such a little thing. I want us to be close and to be able to trust each other, but that won't happen I can't tell you anything without you going to mom and dad."
- Developing trust in each other early will lay the foundation for having fun together while growing up, and help you continue to enjoy each other's company into your teen and adult years.
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Avoid using other sibling relationships as models. Try not to look at your friends’ relationships with their siblings and think they're better than yours. Remember, even with your closest friends, there are often less attractive aspects of their relationship that you don't see.
- Every relationship, including the one between you and your sibling, is unique and has positive and negative aspects. Everyone has their own way of communicating and showing affection.
- Thinking someone else's sibling relationship is better can undervalue your own, creating a negative mindset and causing you to assign blame. Focus on the fact that relationships are unique instead of thinking in terms of better or worse.
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Community Q&A
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QuestionHow do you have fun with your sibling when they have anger issues?Community AnswerAsk if they want to talk about why they're angry or upset. Tell them that they can trust you and that everything will be okay. Give them space if they need it, but let them know that you're there for them. As a parent for help, and if they try to hurt you, don't ever hesitate to tell a parent or other nearby trusted adult.
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QuestionMy brother is going off to college in a week and has always and still is glued to his electronics. I want to have fun with him before he leaves!Community AnswerBe honest with him and tell him that you're sad about him leaving. Remind him that he'll always have his electronics, but the two of you have limited time together. Try to find ways to incorporate electronics into a common activity for you both to enjoy. For example, does he play video games a lot? Try to play video games together.
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QuestionWhat types of movie should we watch? I'm a girl that's 11 and my brother is 23Community AnswerMovies should be age appropriate for you but still entertaining for your brother. That can include all kinds of movies, from superhero movies to romantic comedies. The best way to choose one is to talk to your brother about it. Ask him to have an open mind if he doesn't like the same movies that you do. Check out what's playing in theaters or what's online to stream, and find something that you'll both enjoy.
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Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you'd like to learn more about having fun with your siblings, check out our in-depth interview with Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC .
References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200703/can-grown-siblings-learn-get-along
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200703/can-grown-siblings-learn-get-along
- ↑ http://pbskids.org/itsmylife/advice/sibling_problems2.html#a
- ↑ http://pbskids.org/itsmylife/advice/sibling_problems6.html#c
- ↑ http://www.pbs.org/parents/expert-tips-advice/2015/08/turning-sibling-rivalry-sibling-revelry/
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3956653/
- ↑ http://www.pbs.org/parents/expert-tips-advice/2015/08/turning-sibling-rivalry-sibling-revelry
- ↑ https://www.mottchildren.org/posts/your-child/sibling-rivalry
About This Article
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Reader Success Stories
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"Learned that we are all different, but we can find common ground."
