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If you’re trying to live your life in a way that honors God, it’s only natural that you’d want a dating relationship that honors Him as well. To ensure God is an important part of your relationship with your partner, choose someone godly, try to embody God’s love in the way you treat each other, and make time to worship together each day. If you both put God first, you’ll strengthen your relationship with Him while building a deep connection as a couple.
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Choose a partner who values their relationship with God as much as you do. If you want God to be central in your relationship, you should choose someone who is passionate about following God. [1] X Expert Source Josh Spurlock, MA, LPC, CST
Licensed Professional Counselor Expert Interview. 13 January 2022. Before you start dating anyone, pray that God will help you find the right person. Don’t just get swept up in your emotions or physical attraction—look for a partner who displays godly qualities like patience, kindness, and humility. [2] X Research source- While it’s possible to continue to serve God if you’re dating a nonbeliever, it will be difficult to truly make God the center of your relationship.
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Date with the intention of getting married. Casual dating might be popular in the modern world, but if you’re trying to serve God, you should be looking for the partner God has chosen as your spouse. Only date someone if you see them as a potential life-long partner. That doesn’t mean that you have to marry the first person you date, of course, but do spend your time critically evaluating whether they’d be a good fit for you. [3] X Research source
- For instance, you might compare your values, your methods of worship, and your long-term goals to ensure you’re compatible.
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Avoid becoming physically intimate before marriage. When you’re dating someone you’re attracted to, it can be hard to resist the temptation to be close to them physically. However, God instructs His followers to wait until marriage to be physically intimate together. To help keep yourselves pure, set boundaries that you both feel are safe, honorable, and respectable. [4] X Research source
- For instance, you might agree that until you’re married, you’ll only kiss on the cheek.
- Try to avoid innocent-seeming activities that might tempt you to have impure thoughts, like sitting on each other's laps or giving each other massages.
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Embody the love described in 1 Cor 13:4-8. One of the most well-known passages in the Bible describes pure love, and it’s an excellent description of the way you should strive to treat your partner in a relationship. It describes love as patient, hopeful, trusting, and selfless. Try to live up to this example as you build a healthy, God-centered relationship. [5] X Research source
- The passage says: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
- Even if your faith follows a different holy text, you can still use this beautiful verse as a reminder of how to treat your partner.
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Rely on God and each other when times are difficult. Inevitably in a relationship, you’ll have to face struggles together. These might be arguments because you don’t see eye-to-eye on things, or you might have to overcome hardships and grief together as a couple. No matter what comes your way, don't turn against each other. Trust that God will care for you, and work together to find God's solution to any problem. [6] X Research source
- Remember, if you and your partner get married, you’ll have to take on difficult situations together throughout your life. If you have a hard time working together when you’re dating, you may have a hard time being on the same page later on, as well.
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Avoid situations where you and your partner might be tempted to sin. If you want God to be the center of your relationship, it’s a good idea for the two of you to avoid people, places, and situations where you might be tempted to do things you know displease God. You might already do this on your own, but it can be harder when you’re dating someone and the two of you are trying to plan things to do together. [7] X Research source
- For instance, you might choose not to attend a party if you suspect there will be drinking and drugs, or you might avoid going to clubs where people tend to dance suggestively. You might suggest another fun activity instead, like going to a baseball game or having a picnic.
- You may also want to avoid watching movies or TV shows that contain graphic sex, violence, or language. Instead, look for wholesome media that will enrich or educate you.
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Spend time with other godly couples. Group dating can help you avoid the temptation to be physical, but it is also a way to strengthen your identity in God, since you'll be surrounded by other people who are also seeking Him. Try to find another couple or a group of peers who are about your same age, and spend time together on a regular basis. [8] X Research source [9] X Expert Source Josh Spurlock, MA, LPC, CST
Licensed Professional Counselor Expert Interview. 13 January 2022.- You might choose to have a weekly group worship, do team-based service missions, or just hang out and do casual things like grilling, going out to eat, or playing sports.
- It can also help you strengthen your relationship if you find mentors within your church. For instance, you might sit down with a couple who’s been married for several years to ask them about some of the challenges they dealt with when they were dating. [10] X Research source
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Continue growing your own relationship with God. For God to be central in your dating relationship, He first has to be the center of your own life. Spend time each day praying, reading scripture, and listening for His calling in your life. This will help encourage your partner to focus on their spiritual growth, as well, which will benefit you as a couple. [11] X Research source
- Try setting aside a little time every morning for a devotional. By starting your day out with God as the focus, it will be easier to keep Him in mind all day.
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Attend worship services with each other. Even if you and your partner attend different churches, try to make an effort to go to church with each other, at least occasionally. Hearing God’s word and worshiping together will strengthen you as a couple, and it will be easier to make God the center of your relationship. [12] X Expert Source Josh Spurlock, MA, LPC, CST
Licensed Professional Counselor Expert Interview. 13 January 2022.- You can also attend other church events together, like dinners, informal prayer groups, or service-based activities.
- Take turns attending each other's churches if you're both part of different faith communities. [13]
X
Expert Source
Josh Spurlock, MA, LPC, CST
Licensed Professional Counselor Expert Interview. 13 January 2022.
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Study scripture together to grow closer to each other and God. By reading God’s word together, you can find direction as a couple, and it will strengthen the feeling that God is the center of your relationship. This intimate act will also help you feel closer to each other in a healthy, spiritual way. [14] X Research source [15] X Expert Source Josh Spurlock, MA, LPC, CST
Licensed Professional Counselor Expert Interview. 13 January 2022.- Try reading a daily devotional together, or take turns choosing passages that are meaningful to you.
- You could also join a Bible study together. [16]
X
Expert Source
Josh Spurlock, MA, LPC, CST
Licensed Professional Counselor Expert Interview. 13 January 2022.
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Pray with each other often. Prayer is one of the most important things you can do to build a relationship with God, and it should be a central part of your relationship. It can seem a little strange at first to pray together out loud, but if you practice doing it regularly, it will become a natural and beautiful part of your routine together. [17] X Research source
- Pray together whenever you get the chance, such as before meals, at the end of the day, or when you're on the phone.
- Remember to pray for your partner in your personal prayers, as well.
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Support each other as you serve God . People feel called to serve God in a variety of different ways. You might serve Him by being a mentor, helping people in crisis, or simply by living in a way that pleases Him. Not only should you pursue your own individual path toward serving God, but you should also encourage your partner to nourish their gifts and talents, so that they can use them to glorify God as well. [18] X Research source
- For instance, if you’re dating someone who sings beautifully, you might encourage them to join the choir, then attend any performances put on by their singing group.
- You can also look for opportunities to serve together, like going on mission trips, cooking meals for families in need, or teaching a class together.
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Community Q&A
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QuestionWhat does it mean to put God first in a relationship?This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.wikiHow Staff EditorStaff AnswerThis can mean different things for different people, but it basically means that you should not let your relationship lead you to compromise your beliefs, convictions, and dedication to your God. Continue to seek closeness to God in your relationship and avoid behaviors that are considered unholy or sinful in your faith.
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QuestionWhat does God say about relationships?This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.wikiHow Staff EditorStaff AnswerDifferent religious faiths have different beliefs about relationships. Consult with a religious leader in your community or read the holy texts of your faith if you have questions. Most faiths encourage couples to support each other and to practice their faith together.
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QuestionWhat are the 4 types of love in the Bible?This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.wikiHow Staff EditorStaff AnswerThe 4 types of love in the bible are Eros (sensual or romantic love), Storge (family love), Philia (brotherly love), and Agape (the godly love of humanity).
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Tips
Tips from our Readers
The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
- Pray often and read the Bible to grow closer to God. If you're dating someone who isn't Christian, help them accept Christ into their life to create a stronger and healthier relationship.
- Don't flirt to convert. If you know someone is not the right person for you, or who is not in line with God's way, don't wait for them to be who you want them to be.
- If your partner isn't Christian, teach them about God. Be persistent, but if they reject your efforts, pray and ask God whether you should proceed.
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References
- ↑ Josh Spurlock, MA, LPC, CST. Licensed Professional Counselor. Expert Interview. 13 January 2022.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-therapy/201412/laws-attraction-how-do-we-select-life-partner
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/communication-success/201903/do-people-choose-romantic-partners-similar-their-parent
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassion-matters/202206/3-reasons-why-someone-might-avoid-intimacy
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xHf0zlL9z0
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/high-octane-women/201106/the-seven-deadly-sins-self-saboteurs-and-what-can-be-done-stop-the
- ↑ https://candlewoodchurch.org/blog/quiet-time-make-time-to-spend-with-god-as-a-couple/
- ↑ Josh Spurlock, MA, LPC, CST. Licensed Professional Counselor. Expert Interview. 13 January 2022.
- ↑ https://candlewoodchurch.org/blog/quiet-time-make-time-to-spend-with-god-as-a-couple/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/talking-apes/202106/how-early-childhood-shapes-your-relationship-god
- ↑ Josh Spurlock, MA, LPC, CST. Licensed Professional Counselor. Expert Interview. 13 January 2022.
- ↑ Josh Spurlock, MA, LPC, CST. Licensed Professional Counselor. Expert Interview. 13 January 2022.
- ↑ https://bible.org/seriespage/mark-5-single-minded-devotion-god
- ↑ Josh Spurlock, MA, LPC, CST. Licensed Professional Counselor. Expert Interview. 13 January 2022.
- ↑ Josh Spurlock, MA, LPC, CST. Licensed Professional Counselor. Expert Interview. 13 January 2022.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-secular-life/201909/does-prayer-work
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/talking-apes/201808/why-do-people-believe-in-god
About This Article
Article Summary
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To have a God-centered dating relationship, start by finding a partner who values their relationship with God as much as you do. Try to avoid casual dating and only date someone if you view them as a potential life-long partner. When you start dating, avoid being physically intimate with each other since God wants you to wait until marriage before engaging in sexual activity. Instead, spend time praying together and reading scripture, as well as other fun activities, to strengthen your relationship with God and with each other. It also helps to spend time with other couples that prioritize God in their relationships. For more tips, including how to stay true to your individual journey while in a relationship, read on!
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Reader Success Stories
- "I'm a mature woman, dating a man close to my age. Though we are both Christians, I have adhered to my faith, whereas my boyfriend has lapsed in his practice. There is abundant love in this relationship and I have insisted on the relationship being sexually pure until marriage. This has caused tension, which time apart between dates has helped ameliorate. My boyfriend firmly believes that Christ brought us together, yet I am the one who practices my faith. I came to this site to ensure that God remains the principal focus here and that whatever happens, God will protect both of us." ..." more
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"I'm a mature woman, dating a man close to my age. Though we are both Christians, I have adhered to my faith, whereas my boyfriend has lapsed in his practice.
There is abundant love in this relationship and I have insisted on the relationship being sexually pure until marriage. This has caused tension, which time apart between dates has helped ameliorate.
My boyfriend firmly believes that Christ brought us together, yet I am the one who practices my faith. I came to this site to ensure that God remains the principal focus here and that whatever happens, God will protect both of us."
..."
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"All my life I've grown up in a Christian home. my mother always told me of the roles in a healthy relationship. By reading this article and watching this video, I'm meditating on the topic of relationships. I believe that the more a person rehearses God's word, the more it will become a part of them. I hope in the future, for a nice healthy marriage to share with an amazing man of God, and to also be an amazing woman of God to him."
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"This is really great advice. I pray that everyone seeking advice from this article will truly live by these words. God has a perfect plan for each of us. Love Him first and all else will fall into place! "
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"The warnings helped me, especially the one about not needing anyone to feel good about myself, but I need to put God's love first. And knowing that all I need is God in my relationship."
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"This helped in instructing me about how to keep a God-centered relationship. I married too quickly, and now divorcing. I am trying to re-center my life on God."
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