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He’s simply irresistible, and you can’t help yourself. You like him. The timing, however, isn’t right, or you know it simply isn’t meant to be. You have to hide your affection, and it’s only getting harder. Fortunately, there are plenty of tips to reduce the chance that he or others will be able to tell, allowing you to fully hide the fact that you totally like that guy.
Steps
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Keep conversation to a minimum. If you have to spend time around someone that you can’t let know you’re crushing on – avoid opportunities for emotional connection by keeping conversation short and boring.
- Reply to questions in short, direct sentences.
- Don’t ask unnecessary questions, especially about anything fun or otherwise off topic.
- Avoid conversations about topics that either of you will enjoy.
- As a general rule, don’t perk his interest by doing or saying intriguing or engaging things.
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Reduce your social and emotional availability. People get animated around those they’re into. When you feel your blood pressure rising or notice you’re nodding more than usual, calm yourself down by taking a deep breath and focusing on something other than the dangerously enjoyable conversation you were having. Otherwise stated, be boring.
- Monitor your own excitement. Don’t allow yourself to send the message you’re interested.
- Don’t open up to him. If you make yourself emotionally accessible – even about something seemingly innocuous – you won’t be able to hide your feelings about him for long.
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Unfriend, unfollow, and unsubscribe. Face it, people have only gotten better at monitoring the crushes they aren’t supposed to have with the rise of social media. Quit allowing yourself to dream about the possibility of romance with someone you can’t even admit you’re into. [1] X Trustworthy Source Science Direct Online archive of peer-reviewed research on scientific, technical and medical topics Go to source
- Unfriend or unfollow him on Facebook.
- Quit following his Instagram. If you’re into him, looking at his selfies will be torture.
- Repeat the equivalent for all the other social media platforms you both use. No need to see that snapchat of him having a blast. Way too cute to handle.
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Delete his phone number. Resist the temptation to text, email, or call your crush – even with totally non-romantic messages. Delete his number, and forget his email address too. If you can’t delete this information, make it harder on yourself to contact him. [2] X Research source
- If your crush is someone you need to keep in touch with for professional or other non-romantic reasons, re-label his number in your phone according.
- For instance, change the contact information to “Your Boss” or “Jenny’s Boyfriend.”
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Keep your body language neutral. Certain forms of body language will readily betray your interest by conveying your attraction to him, not to mention your openness to getting to know him better.
- Cross your arms.
- Take care not to openly present the front of your torso to him. You’re likely doing so without thinking.
- Hold something in front of your stomach.
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Watch your hand language too. As important as body language is, people express a lot with the hands, often without thinking about it. Make sure your hand language doesn’t make it obvious that you’re into him. [3] X Research source
- Avoid touching with the palm. If you have to spend time around your crush, and occasionally must engage in the horror of physical contact, do so coldly. Casual touches and physical contact are a big giveaway that you like them. [4] X Research source
- Touch only with your fingertips, as this is less likely to betray your interest.
- Quit rubbing your hands together. Rubbing your hands lets others know you’re nervous.
- Play it cool by doing perfectly boring and innocuous things with your hands.
- If you can’t control yourself, put your hands in your pockets or under the table.
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Drop the eye contact. When your gaze starts to lengthen beyond the normal duration of everyday conversation, he’ll pretty much immediately know that you’re interested. Actually, a lot about your eyes can give you up: your pupils, your blinking, and the direction of your gaze all indicate the way your feel.
- Make sure you’re only making professional, abrupt, and generally boring amounts of eye contact.
- If you must, furrow your brow a bit. This will make it seem like you’re thinking about what you’re talking about instead of his perfectly chiseled features.
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Be physically boring. If you allow yourself to relax around the person you’re into, your body is simply going to start sending messages. If you start to tilt your head when he speaks, or have your toes and shoulders constantly squared towards him, he and everybody else probably already know you’re dreaming about him.
- Check your phone constantly. He'll get the message that you’re not interested pretty quick if you’re looking at your phone more than his eyes.
- Don’t expose your neck. And definitely, definitely don’t start stroking your neck. Not only does this say “come touch me,” it literally releases pheromones.
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Admit that it isn’t going to happen. If you’re looking for ways hide the fact that you’re into him, you likely have a good reason you can’t admit your affection. Maybe it’s already been determined that he isn’t interested, or he’s off limits for one reason or another. If there’s a reason it simply can’t be, remind yourself of this. [5] X Research source
- Literally talk to yourself. Say, “[insert your name], this can’t happen. Think about something else.”
- You’ll likely wind up laughing at yourself – which is a good thing, because laughter is distracting.
- If it’s simply unrequited love, move on with your life. This can be a mighty challenge, but you’ll wind up happier sooner than you think.
- It's fine to still be his friend, but it's not a good idea to hang out in the friend zone hoping that something will happen someday.
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Choose to think about someone else you’re into. Admit it: there’s way more than one human you’re attracted to in this world, and likely even more than one you have emotional feelings for. Actively trying to transfer your affection may seem weird, but you can suppress your attraction to someone by thinking about someone else, especially someone you have an emotional bond with. [6] X Research source
- Reader Poll: We asked 647 wikiHow readers who’ve struggled with a crush, and only 7% have had luck with confiding in a trusted friend or mentor for support. [Take Poll] So, while this may not be a great strategy according to our readers, you could try meeting new people to move on.
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Embrace your own life. Recognize that you don’t control everything. You especially don’t control other people. To help yourself let go of any affection you can’t admit to, focus on other aspects of your life, particularly those you’re enjoying. [7] X Research source
- Remind yourself about the paths you’re walking in your individual life that have nothing to do with you crush.
- Recognize your own free will – and his. If you’re hiding your affection, respect the reason, whatever it is and whoever it has more to do with.
- Put energy and effort into things you can act on, improve, and enjoy.
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Community Q&A
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QuestionWhat would you do if they had a girlfriend or boyfriend? How would you cover it up when they talk about their love interest?Community AnswerIf your crush already has a girlfriend or boyfriend, you should respect their decision to be in that relationship. If they try to talk to you about it, avoid saying anything negative and offer to listen if they want to get something off of their chest. Allow them to do the talking - they will likely come to some realizations of their own.
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QuestionWhat do I do if I know they like me?Community AnswerIf you like them back, then you should definitely take this as an opportunity. Hang out with him often, and become closer. When you feel really connected, and don't want to wait for him to make the first move, take it upon yourself and ask him out!
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QuestionHow do I know that he doesn't know that I like him?Community AnswerIf he does not know you like him, he will probably show no signs of any increase in interest. They will not blush around you, start stuttering when they talk to you or won't bring up any topics about you liking them.
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References
- ↑ https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0747563214000545
- ↑ https://galadarling.com/article/unrequited-love/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/spycatcher/201001/body-language-the-hands
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/know-someone-attracted/
- ↑ https://galadarling.com/article/unrequited-love/
- ↑ http://www.sscnet.ucla.edu/comm/haselton/papers/downloads/Gonzaga_Haselton_et_al_2008_EHB.pdf
- ↑ https://galadarling.com/article/unrequited-love/
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