13 Subtle Ways a Virgo Man Tests You (And the Best Ways to Respond)

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A list of every test a Virgo man uses to make sure you're his ideal partner
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Do you want to get inside your Virgo man’s head and understand how (and why) he tests you in a relationship? We’re here to help! An analytical and detail-oriented Virgo guy will test you because he’s trying to see if you’re compatible as a couple; he really just wants to know he’s settling down with the right person. Read on for a complete explanation of all the ways Virgo men will test you—and how to pass those tests with flying colors.

This article is based on an interview with our psychic astrologer, Stina Garbis, owner of Psychic Stina. Check out the full interview here.

Things You Should Know

  • Be prepared to answer a lot of questions honestly and thoughtfully. Honesty is important to a Virgo; the more truthful you are, the more he’ll trust you.
  • Do your best to be consistent and reliable. Down-to-earth Virgo wants a partner who can give him stability and peace of mind.
  • Use your emotional intelligence to communicate clearly while also setting boundaries. Virgo wants a partner who knows how to express himself.
1

He’ll ask you lots of personal questions.

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    In fact, it might feel a little like an interrogation! He’ll ask a lot of carefully-constructed personal questions in a row and analyze your responses and body language because he’s looking for the truth. Those questions could be about your past, relationships, hopes, and dreams, or even about what you’d do in a hypothetical situation. [1]
    • Give him an honest and thoughtful answer when he asks you questions. Don’t try to give the answer you think he’s looking for or change yourself to please him.
    • Remember: Virgo isn’t looking for perfection here. He just wants an ideal partner for him. Being true to yourself is the best way to show him you’re that ideal partner!
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2

He’ll evaluate your overall compatibility.

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    Early in the relationship, he’ll start to tell you about his life, values, and expectations in order to study your reactions. From that, he’ll be able to tell how much you have in common. A careful and detail-oriented Virgo cares about compatibility ; he doesn’t want to invest in a relationship with many incompatible aspects. [2]
    • Don’t sweat too hard about this: Virgo isn’t looking for an exact clone. He just wants to know that the most important things—like your core ideals, for example—complement his.
3

He’ll take note of how well you communicate.

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    Your Virgo wants to know that you have emotional intelligence . It’s important to a Virgo man that his partner can understand, control, and communicate their emotions, even in the face of a challenge or disappointment. He wants to see that you can communicate your feelings while being empathetic of his, and he’ll do this by observing your conversational skills. [3]
    • Talk to him about sensitive topics calmly and empathetically without getting defensive or shutting down.
    • If you feel like you could improve on this front, then do some research and look for ways to hone your communication skills .
    • Virgo is ruled by Mercury, the planet of communication. Therefore, good communication is one of his biggest desires in a relationship!
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4

He’ll test your ability to set boundaries.

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    This goes hand-in-hand with good communication skills; if you know how you feel and what you need from him, you should be able to verbalize it. A Virgo man may reflect on your conversations to see if you have ever set boundaries with him. If so, he’ll take it as a positive sign of your emotional maturity. [4]
    • The answer here is simple: set boundaries with your Virgo and be willing to say “no” when you need to. Respectfully explain to him what you need without letting yourself feel guilty for having boundaries.
    • For example, you can ask for space by saying, “I’d like to be alone right now. Can I call you tomorrow?”
    • Don’t be afraid to say “no,” either. Your comfort matters, and he’ll respect that. He doesn’t want to walk on eggshells with you, so your ability to communicate your needs will make him love you more!
5

He’ll observe your intellect and creativity.

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    Do you think outside the box ? Can you come up with a resourceful answer to any challenge? Those are valuable skills to a Virgo. [5] To test you, your Virgo might give you a task or a role in a project that requires creative thinking to accomplish, so he can better understand the way your mind works.
    • Pass the test by showing your Virgo what you can do! Accept his challenge and work on it to the best of your ability.
    • Don’t be afraid to take a calculated risk with your solution. Virgo may not be the biggest daredevil, but he appreciates someone willing to throw caution to the wind and try something new.
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6

He’ll check to make sure you’re consistent.

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    He wants to know that you mean what you say and will honor your commitments. [6] He also wants to know that you’re really being yourself—not pretending to be someone you think he’ll like. That’s why your Virgo will study everything you do and say carefully so he can see evidence of your consistency.
    • The easiest way to pass this test is to be yourself. Don’t put on a front because you’re afraid he won’t care for you as you are; your Virgo values truth and sincerity most of all.
    • Follow through on your promises and plans as well. Show your Virgo that you’re someone he can always count on; he’ll want to know that you’ll be a reliable partner in the future.
7

He’ll want you to commit to the relationship.

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    If there’s one sign that doesn’t want to waste time once they develop feelings for someone, it’s Virgo. He’s not the type to keep things casual when he knows he wants to be with you; he’ll ask you to commit to a relationship and want you to commit, so he knows you’re not leading him on. [7]
    • Passing this test is pretty simple: if you feel the same and want to be with him, say so! Knowing you’re on the same page will mean a lot to him.
    • If you’re not as committed to the relationship as he is, it’s a good indicator that it might be time to move on anyway.
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8

He’ll test how much you care for him.

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    Virgo is an extremely caring and nurturing zodiac sign, but he doesn’t want to be the only one in the relationship with those abilities. He’ll start looking for signs that you care about him and are as invested in the relationship as he is. If he finds them, he’ll know you’re the right person for him! [8]
    • Show your Virgo guy just how much you care by opening up to him and telling him about your feelings.
    • For example, “Could we talk? I’ve got something on my mind, and hearing your thoughts always makes me feel better.”
    • One of Virgo’s primary love languages is acts of service. He loves to pitch in and help! He’ll also love it if you do the same for him. Do nice things for him simply because they’ll make his life easier or make him smile.
9

He’ll make sure you’re self-sufficient.

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    Your Virgo guy has an independent streak and wants a partner who enjoys having their own life too. For Virgo, the key is a healthy balance: he still wants to feel close and connected to you, but he doesn’t want you to lean on each other for everything. He’ll also examine your behavior to see if you have an independent streak. [9]
    • Prove to your Virgo that you can be an independent person with your own life. Maintain solo hobbies and interests outside the relationship, and spend some time with your friends.
    • Show him you support his independence, too! Encourage him to spend time with his friend and explore activities that he might want to do alone.
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10

He’ll offer constructive criticism.

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    Don’t be surprised if your Virgo starts giving you constructive criticism without being asked; Virgos have a judgmental streak and tend to criticize other people as a way of getting them to improve themselves. He’ll be watching to see how you handle his criticism and what you do with it.
    • To pass this test, let him give you advice. Consider his words thoughtfully rather than getting defensive and ask yourself how you might use his advice to improve yourself.
    • Remember: Virgos don’t criticize to make you feel bad. They look for weaknesses and critique them because they want to act as a mirror, helping you see those flaws and fix them to become your best self.
11

He’ll look at the way you treat others.

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    This sign makes helping others (both friends and family and through charitable work) a priority and adores anyone who can treat the people around them with compassion and generosity. Virgo will simply pay careful attention to your interactions with other people to test you. He may also invite you to do volunteer work with him. [10]
    • Passing his test is easy: show him that you’ll go out of your way to help and care for him, your friends, and your family. If he asks you about volunteer work, answer him with an enthusiastic yes.
    • Better yet, start volunteer work —like serving at a soup kitchen, tutoring students, or helping at the animal shelter—before he even asks about it. He’ll have nothing but admiration for you!
    • It’s important for Virgo to share compatible values with his significant other. He wants to know you’re passionate and dedicated to the same ideals in life.
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12

He’ll want to see your loyalty.

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    To a Virgo, loyalty doesn’t mean tolerating or overlooking negative aspects of a relationship. It means being truthful with one another and offering unconditional support. Honesty is everything to Virgo. He’ll remember everything you tell him in order to determine how honest you’ve been—and, therefore, whether he can trust you.
    • Once again, there’s no trick to passing this test. Just tell him the truth! Be honest about who you are, how you feel, and what you want—from the relationship, from life, and everything in between.
    • Be supportive of him , especially when he’s dealing with a challenge or something stressful. Ask him how you can help him, and express appreciation when he is supportive of you, too.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 215 wikiHow readers about dating a Virgo man, and 84% of them agreed that the best way to build a strong foundation of trust with him is by being open and honest about your feelings . [Take Poll]
13

He’ll ask for your ambitions and life plans.

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    Hardworking and driven, Virgo guys have lofty career goals but tend to be family-oriented. If you ask your Virgo what he sees in his future, odds are he’ll have it planned out already—including what he wants for his career, relationships, and family life. He’ll test you by asking what plans you have for your life as well.
    • For example, you might say, “I’ve got a five-year plan to get promoted to management staff at my company,” or “I plan to be a fully freelance artist by next year.”
    • Talk about personal goals too. For example, “I’ve always wanted to have a family and be a parent,” or “I want to find a long-term partner I can settle down with!”
    • Passing Virgo’s test is all about showing him you’ve carefully considered what you want out of life.
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Connect & Flirt with a Virgo Man with this Expert Series

Virgo men are loyal, driven, and slow to open up. These expert articles will help you attract and date the Virgo of your dreams.
1
Flirt with a Virgo Man
2
Flirt with a Virgo Man over Text
3
Know if a Virgo Man Is Pushing You Away
4
Reconnect with a Virgo Man
5
Make a Virgo Man Miss You
6
Attract a Virgo Man on Social Media

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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/in-practice/201305/21-first-date-questions
      2. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/relationships/want-to-be-close-to-someone-ask-these-36-questions
      3. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/emotional-intelligence-eq.htm
      4. ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/great-self-care-setting-healthy-boundaries/
      5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/slightly-blighty/201802/why-intelligent-partner-can-be-so-attractive
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/couples-thrive/202304/hi-im-a-healthy-relationship
      7. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/maybe-its-just-me/201008/what-do-we-owe-our-partners-obligation-in-relationships
      8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/maybe-its-just-me/201008/what-do-we-owe-our-partners-obligation-in-relationships
      9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/out-the-darkness/201303/self-sufficiency-essential-aspect-well-being
      1. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/healthy-living/volunteering-and-its-surprising-benefits.htm

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