How Fast Should You Reply to a Girl's Text? Dating Experts Weigh In

PDF download Download Article
PDF download Download Article

Your phone dings, and it’s a text from the girl you like—should you respond right away or wait to reply? On one hand, you don’t want to come across as too eager. But you definitely want to keep the conversation going. Timing your response the right way can show her you’re interested while making sure you come across as cool and confident. We know it’s easy to get nervous when you’re texting your crush. So let’s take the guesswork out of how fast you should respond to the girl you like. We’ve asked our team of dating experts for their pro tips on texting response time—here’s what they have to say.
This article is based on an interview with our professional dating coach, John Keegan, founder of The Awakened Lifestyle. Check out the full interview here.

How Long to Wait Before Texting Her

In modern dating, the 24-hour rule has replaced the 3-day rule. Instead of waiting the traditional 3 days to text a girl after a date, send a simple “thank you” text the next day. You can still wait 1-2 days to ask her on a second date, but you want to quickly acknowledge that you enjoyed her company.

1

Reply within 5 minutes when you’re texting your crush.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/2\/2c\/How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-1.jpg\/v4-460px-How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-1.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/2\/2c\/How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-1.jpg\/v4-728px-How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-1.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    A 5-minute response time is ideal, since it gives you time to think of an awesome reply that’ll show off your personality and get her attention . [1] But since you’re not keeping her waiting too long, responding after a few minutes still lets you keep the conversation flowing.
    • Keep up the conversation momentum by asking follow-up questions and sending texts that show you relate to what she says. [2]
    • For instance, if she mentions she’s chilling at home and watching a show you know, say something like, “Hey, that’s actually my ideal evening. But I’m so concerned about Tate’s character. Seriously, what is he thinking?”
    • Make her smile by bringing up something she’s said before. Try something like, “Oh, I checked out that band you mentioned. Their new EP is... surprising! Have you listened to it yet?”
    2. Advertisement
2

Respond to a girl after 10-15 minutes to play it cool.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/f\/f9\/How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-2.jpg\/v4-460px-How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/f\/f9\/How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-2.jpg\/v4-728px-How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    If you respond immediately, she might think you’re waiting by your phone for her to text. [3] When you see that next notification light up your screen, take a deep breath and step away from the phone. Put your phone on silent or “do not disturb” mode. Then, go for a walk, grab a snack, or put on your favorite playlist.
    • Once you feel really calm, go ahead and send her a reply. That confident energy will come through. You’ve got this! [4]
    • If you want to come across as super chill, use more statements than questions when you reply, and send messages that tell her something interesting about you. [5]
    • For instance, if she talks about going on a skiing trip, instead of saying, “How’d it go?” say something like, “I love skiing. I went skiing for three months in Colorado and then hurt myself, so now I’m sticking to ping pong instead. LOL” [6]
3

Answer within 1-3 hours to be polite.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/67\/How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-3.jpg\/v4-460px-How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-3.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/6\/67\/How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-3.jpg\/v4-728px-How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-3.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    You know that feeling when you say something and the other person takes just a bit too long to respond? We all know that’s not fun. Conversations have a natural momentum and natural rhythm when two people like each other. When you respond within a couple of hours, you prevent the conversation from totally going stale. If you leave a girl hanging for more than a few hours, it sends a signal that you’re not interested. [7]
    • Don’t be surprised if she doesn’t text back if you wait more than 3 hours to respond.
    • If you aren’t interested, be kind and let her know. Send a message like, “I think you’re super cool, but I’m not looking for anything right now.” [8]
    2. Advertisement
4

Answer as soon as you’re able to if you’re really interested.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/3\/3d\/How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-6.jpg\/v4-460px-How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-6.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/3\/3d\/How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-6.jpg\/v4-728px-How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-6.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Text her back immediately to send her the message that you’re super into her. [9] When you’re sensing positive vibes in the conversation, don’t feel like you have to follow rules or play games. Respond in a way that feels natural and reflects how you feel about her.
    • Playfulness, lots of compliments, and longer messages are good signs that she’s flirting with you. [10]
    • If you’re feeling moving the conversation from texting to IRL, ask her out! Keep it simple, and say something like, “Do you want to hang out sometime? Would dinner this weekend work?”
    • Respond right away if she sends you an invite or a question about a date you have planned.
5

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/0\/00\/How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-5.jpg\/v4-460px-How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-5.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/0\/00\/How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-5.jpg\/v4-728px-How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-5.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Instead of waiting the traditional 3 days to text a girl after a date, send a simple “thank you” text the next day. You can still wait 1-2 days to ask her on a second date, but you want to quickly acknowledge that you enjoyed her company. [11]
    • Want to really impress her? Show her you’re looking out for her by sending a text right after the date that says, “Thanks for such a fun night. Did you get home safely?”
    • Mention a highlight or fun shared memory from the date. You could say something like, “I had such a great time Friday! Still laughing about the wild conversation we overheard!”
    • You could also try a classic message like, “Thanks for an awesome night. We should do this again sometime.”
    • Reader Poll: We asked 394 wikiHow readers, and 50% of them agreed that they decide how long to wait between the first and second dates based on the level of connection and chemistry they feel on the first date . [Take Poll]
    2. Advertisement
6

Reply within 1 hour if you’ve been dating for a while.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/c\/c6\/How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-4.jpg\/v4-460px-How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-4.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/c\/c6\/How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-4.jpg\/v4-728px-How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-4.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    When a girl you’re dating texts you, respond quickly so that she doesn’t feel hurt or ignored. [12] It’s normal to get busy during the day, but, as a general rule, try to respond within 1 hour to check-in type texts like “How’s your day going?”
    • If texting gets to be too much, let her know. Say something like, “I love talking to you, but I’m less of a texter. Could I give you a call after work, instead?”
    • Respond immediately to time-sensitive texts from a girl you’re dating. If she needs to know what time you’ll be meeting up later, or which restaurant you’re going to, you don’t want to leave her waiting.
7

Mirror her response time for a tried-and-true strategy.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/5\/53\/How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-7.jpg\/v4-460px-How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-7.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/5\/53\/How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-7.jpg\/v4-728px-How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-7.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Dating and flirting are all about matching effort and energy levels. [13] If she’s sending you lightning-fast responses, that’s a great sign she’s into you. Try sending quicker replies to show her you’re on the same page. But if she tends to wait 20-30 minutes to respond, don’t stress about getting back to her right away.
    • If you get nervous while texting her, try to imagine you’re just texting a friend. [14]
    2. Advertisement
8

Let her know if you’ll be too busy to respond for a while.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/9\/9e\/How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-8.jpg\/v4-460px-How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-8.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/9\/9e\/How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-8.jpg\/v4-728px-How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-8.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    We all get busy, and it's normal if you can't respond immediately! Give her a solid reason and be honest about why you can’t reply right away, so you don’t seem like you’re avoiding her. Then, let her know that you want to continue the conversation later. [15]
    • “Ugh! I want to keep talking to you, but I’m getting up really early for practice tomorrow. Talk tomorrow? :)”
    • “I can’t wait to continue this convo. I’m going out with friends, but we’ll catch up later?”
    • “Just got to work, so I’m going to have to put my phone away. I’ll text you after my shift!”
9

Wait until she texts again if she sent an “I’m busy” text.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/4\/45\/How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-9.jpg\/v4-460px-How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-9.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/4\/45\/How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-9.jpg\/v4-728px-How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-9.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Give her time before you follow up if she says she’ll text you later . Giving her space can make you seem even more attractive, since it shows her that you’re confident and you’ve got your own busy schedule. Plus, when you hold off on sending messages when she tells you she’s busy, it lets her know you respect her time and respect her boundaries. [16]
    • If you’ve just started seeing each other, give her 1-2 days to follow up with you. [17]
    • If you know each other well, try texting her the next day with a message like, “Hey! How was your dinner last night?”
    2. Advertisement
10

Reply with one message at a time.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/0\/06\/How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-10.jpg\/v4-460px-How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-10.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/0\/06\/How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-10.jpg\/v4-728px-How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-10.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    It’s so tempting to send follow-up texts when you’re trying to keep a conversation going, but give her time to ask you questions and flirt back. However, you can break the no-double-text rule if she’s a double texter. Then, it’s okay to send multiple messages if you two are in the middle of a fun back-and-forth. [18]
11

Move on if she often takes a long time to reply or ghosts you.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/7\/73\/How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-11.jpg\/v4-460px-How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-11.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/7\/73\/How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-11.jpg\/v4-728px-How-Fast-Should-You-Reply-to-a-Girl%27s-Text-Step-11.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Even though it’s tough to find out that someone else might not be interested in you, keep in mind that ghosting says more about the other person than it does about you. You can find someone else who’ll put in the energy to reply to your texts! [19]
    2. Advertisement

Improve Your Texting Game with this Expert Series

Are you not sure what to text girls, or do you find yourself getting ghosted? We’ve put together this series of expert articles to help you text easily and confidently.
1
Text a Girl You Just Met
2
Flirt Through Text Messages
3
How to Know When and How Often to Text After a First Date
4
What Does It Mean When a Girl Says She's Sorry for the Late Reply? (and How to Respond)
5
How to Respond when a Girl Says She Likes You over Text
6
Persuade a Girl over Text

Expert Q&A

Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
      Advertisement

      Video

      Tips

      Submit a Tip
      All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
      Submit
      Thanks for submitting a tip for review!

      You Might Also Like

      Virtual Truth or Dare Questions to Keep Things Interesting
      How to
      Respond to a "How Was Your Day?" Text
      10 Ways to Keep a Girl Interested over Text
      How to
      Make a Guy Horny over Text
      The Best Messages to Send that’ll Make Him Smile
      11 Texts to Tell a Girl She's Beautiful
      How to
      Talk to a Girl by Texting
      12 Ways to Make Him Miss You Like Crazy over Text (with Examples)
      How to
      Prank Someone over Text
      How to Reply to “What Are You Doing?” over Text: Creative Answers to Sound Fun & Flirty
      13 Things to Do When a Girl Doesn't Reply to Your Texts
      The Best Flirtatious Texts that’ll Keep You on His Mind
      How to
      Make a Girl's Hormones Rise over Text
      "Message Blocking is Active:" What to Do if You Can't Send Texts
      Advertisement

      References

      1. ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a56567/what-his-texting-time-really-means/
      2. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 19 August 2021.
      3. ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a56567/what-his-texting-time-really-means/
      4. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 19 August 2021.
      5. ↑ Mark Rosenfeld. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 11 June 2021.
      6. ↑ Mark Rosenfeld. Dating & Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 11 June 2021.
      7. ↑ Imad Jbara. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 22 September 2021.
      8. ↑ https://verilymag.com/2017/09/how-to-let-a-guy-down-easy-how-to-reject-a-guy
      9. ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a56567/what-his-texting-time-really-means/
      1. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 25 May 2021.
      2. ↑ https://bestlifeonline.com/text-after-first-date/
      3. ↑ https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/releases/how-smartphones-affect-relationships.html
      4. ↑ Imad Jbara. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 22 September 2021.
      5. ↑ https://www.nicknotas.com/blog/8-basic-rules-for-texting-a-girl-you-like/
      6. ↑ https://www.vice.com/en/article/884yda/social-distance-stop-texting-covid-19-pandemic
      7. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 19 August 2021.
      8. ↑ https://textgod.com/texting-rules-for-guys/
      9. ↑ https://www.nicknotas.com/blog/8-basic-rules-for-texting-a-girl-you-like
      10. ↑ Imad Jbara. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 22 September 2021.

      About This Article

      In other languages
      Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 233,446 times.

      Is this article up to date?

      Advertisement