How Much Money Should You Make before Dating?

Helping you budget for your dates as you look for love

Are you ready to dip your toes into the dating world but not sure if you're financially ready? Here's the good news: money isn't nearly as important as personality when it comes to finding a partner. Still, we've compiled info on how much dates cost and what income level your dates might be looking for. We’ve gathered all the info you’ll need to know so you can budget for your dates and find your perfect match. Let’s dive in!

This article is based on an interview with our licensed marriage and family therapist, Elvina Lui. Check out the full interview here.

Things You Should Know

  • There’s no minimum income to start dating. Focus on finding a partner who you have fun with and feel comfortable around—and who isn't overly focused on your salary.
  • Typically, a first date costs around $70. The average American spends about $700 per year on dates.
  • If you’re on a budget, try free dates, like hikes, nature walks, or picnics.
Section 1 of 5:

How much annual income do you need to date someone?

  1. Sure, it’s nice to have a little extra cash in your pocket so you can go out on fun dates or splurge on expensive dinners. But when you find the right partner, they won’t care how much money you have or how extravagant your lifestyle is. Focus on being yourself and putting your best foot forward to find a love match.
    • In fact, a study from 2021 reported that your income or career are the least important aspects of you when it comes to finding a partner. [1] Personality is number one!
    • If your date is hyper-focused on money and status, they may be more interested in what they can get from you than on making a real connection, and you deserve better!
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Section 2 of 5:

Cost of an Average Date

  1. This number can vary slightly on how old you are, what area you live in, and what kind of activity you’d like to do. But if you’re planning the traditional dinner-and-a-movie, then you can expect to spend around $70. [2]
    • Annually, Americans spend about $700 on dates. [3]
Section 3 of 5:

Dating on a Budget

  1. There are lots of things you can do on a date that don’t cost money at all! Go for a hike, walk around a park, visit your local library, or plan a game night together to go on free dates. [4] Bring along snacks and drinks to avoid spending money, and focus on getting to know your date more as you two chat.
    • You could also go on a bike ride or go window-shopping downtown.
  2. Your local neighborhood group will probably have tons of great ideas for going on low-budget dates. Join your local Nextdoor page or Facebook page and search for events happening near you that cost little to no money, like concerts in the park, community theater performances, or zoo and museum discount days. [5]
    • You could also search for events like block parties or discount movie theater days.
  3. Instead of planning an international vacation, set your sights a little closer to home. Rent a cute beach cottage and go away for the weekend, or set money aside to drive through your state and see the sights. [6]
    • These are great options when you’re celebrating something special, like an anniversary or birthday.
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Section 4 of 5:

Who should pay on a first date?

  1. Just like income requirements, there are no rules when it comes to who’s paying on the first date. Generally, though, if you asked the other person out, it’s polite to pay for their portion. However, you can also ask if they’d be comfortable splitting the bill, since some people prefer it. [7]
    • Say something like, “I had such a great time. I’d love to get this one, if that’s okay with you.”
    • If you want to split it, say, “Do you mind if we split this down the middle?”
Section 5 of 5:

When to Talk About Money in a Relationship

  1. Like most things in the dating world, there are no rules you need to follow when it comes to talking about money. But bringing up your income or financial habits too early could make things awkward, or even put a strain on your relationship. Once you two have defined the relationship and decided to become exclusive, bring up the money subject in a casual, matter-of-fact way. [8]
    • Say something like, “So, are you comfortable talking about money? I think it’s important to chat about it, just so we’re on the same page.”
    • Or, “Could we chat about our finances? I’d like to start planning for our future, which will be easier if we’re open about this kind of stuff.”
    • Then, you can both share your income, financial habits, and any debt you’re in.
    • Talking about money is important, especially as you start to plan your future together. It’s nice to know your partner’s financial status as you think about buying a house or having kids one day.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.thebalancemoney.com/millennials-spend-an-average-of-usd69-on-first-dates-5213660
      2. ↑ https://www.thebalancemoney.com/millennials-spend-an-average-of-usd69-on-first-dates-5213660
      3. ↑ https://www.lendingtree.com/personal/dating-survey/
      4. ↑ Elvina Lui, MFT. Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview
      5. ↑ Elvina Lui, MFT. Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview
      6. ↑ Elvina Lui, MFT. Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview
      7. ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/kimelsesser/2020/02/12/who-should-pay-for-dates-how-chivalry-contributes-to-the-gender-pay-gap/?sh=14a3cb3e3fa3
      8. ↑ https://www.npr.org/2021/08/16/1028081097/money-financial-intimacy-talk-relationship-advice

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