This article was co-authored by John Keegan
and by wikiHow staff writer, Caroline Heiderscheit
. John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
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When you like a guy, inviting him to hang out at your house could be totally intimidating. Sometimes, just asking is way too much pressure; you may need a specific reason for your invite. Whether you ask him to help solve a problem or offer to share extra baked goods, you can come off as just a friend asking a friend. But, you also get what you really want: time alone with the boy you like at your place. For all of the very best ways to subtly invite a boy over, read on.
Steps
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This invite reads as nothing more than a super sweet, friendly offer. Almost everyone loves meeting cute pets, so you don't have to worry about coming across as too eager. You’ll probably have tons of opportunities to segue into the invitation, too. If he mentions liking dogs or cats, that could be your moment. You could even ask him if he likes animals, then make your offer afterward. [1] X Research source
- “My kitten is still small enough to fit in my two hands. She’s insanely cute. You want to come by and see her today?”
- “I taught my dog to speak on command. What, you don’t believe me? I’m serious—come see for yourself!”
- “My cat never likes new people. You think you could prove me wrong?”
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This boosts his ego and gives him a solid excuse to visit. This is the perfect, subtle ask because he feels like he's doing you a favor, and you aren't really putting yourself out there at all. All you’re asking for is help with your assignment (which works for high school or college), and that's something you could very well actually need. [2] X Research source
- “Didn’t you set the curve on the last CS final? Please help me. I’ll reward you with freshly baked cookies!”
- “I’ve spent an hour just staring at this worksheet. What about you? Think our combined brainpower could figure this out?”
- “Technically, no, you have nothing to gain from helping me with this paper. On the other hand, won’t tutoring make you smarter? It’s like I'm doing you the favor..."
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By giving him a chance to enjoy something he loves, this invite reads as just a favor. You'll get to hang out with him at your place, he'll get to do one of his favorite things (and enjoy your awesome company), and it won't be so intimidating for you to ask. Listen out for things he likes that you could suggest doing at your place. [3] X Research source
- “No way, you’re into Zelda ? You know I have the new game, right? You could come play me some time if you want!”
- “I swear I’ve got a signed copy of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone . I would’ve mentioned it earlier if I knew you were a fan! Come by and see it?"
- “Didn’t you mention that you love Monopoly? I’ve got the one where the game counts the money for you. Play me sometime?”
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When you're scared, his first instinct may be to come help. Explain to your crush that you just watched a horror film; this works especially well if it’s a movie he suggested to you. Let him know you’re feeling a bit afraid, and he might offer to come by. Or, you could outright ask him to come comfort you. This one is great because it can also be a funny and sweet bonding experience for you two.
- “You didn’t tell me that Hereditary would give me nightmares for the rest of my life. I’m terrified. And I’m home alone…”
- “Thanks a lot, Final Destination ! I’m officially scared. I should’ve watched this when someone else was home.”
- “Okay, I just finished The Ring , and I’m absolutely unwell. You live so close. Would you come over and help me check the house for bad guys?”
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Borrowing and lending set up the perfect hangout opportunity. Eventually, the exchange will have to happen, and you can make sure it happens at your place. This sets up a perfect, stress-free ask, because you avoid directly saying that you want to hang out. You’ve made your invite about something else completely, so there's no chance that it comes across as desperate.
- “Hey, you still have my raincoat right? It’s supposed to shower this week. Would you stop by this afternoon with it?”
- “Ah! I still have your helmet. Sorry about that. I didn’t mean to leave your head unprotected all this time. Want to swing by and grab it?”
- “Thought I’d forget that you have my baking dish, huh? Nice try, buddy. Could you drop it off at my place this Sunday?”
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When you offer him a treat, your invite sounds like simple generosity. If you've got some food at your house that you know he loves, mention it. Some guys will ask to come grab some themselves, or others might wait for you to invite them. Either way, it's a win-win. Plus, this helps you come across as a thoughtful, sweet person too.
- “I ordered way too much Thai food. I was going to put it away, but then I remembered that it was your fav! Want to come snag the rest?”
- “I’m making your favorite, strawberry milkshakes. Be here in ten, and there might just be one with your name on it.”
- “My roommate just baked chocolate chip cookies. Bet you wish you were me right now…”
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Challenges are low-risk invites that are also fun and flirty. Do the two of you ever joke about who is better at certain activities? Challenging him to a showdown at your place is an effective, low-stakes way to invite him over. Plus, this way, your fun activity is already planned out. As long as you can do the activity at your house, you’re good to go! [4] X Research source
- “You’re all talk. If you really think you’re a faster swimmer than me, you’ll have to prove it. Today, after school. Come to my house for a race!”
- “It’s time to put this to the test. Let’s see who’s better at Sonic once and for all. You’re playing me at my apartment this Friday.”
- “The fact that you think you’re better at Catan is baffling to me. I won’t believe you until you come play me in my dorm!”
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By asking him to fix something, your invite sounds like a simple favor. This works especially well if you know he’s got skills in a particular area, like with home projects or tech. Because you're looking for a helpful favor, this won't read like you're desperate to hang out with him. You could even offer him a little treat for his time and effort, making the hangout last even longer.
- “Oof, you know how you told me not to put too much weight on my new shelf? Well, I did. Everything is everywhere. Any chance you’d come help me out?”
- “I have a proposition for you. If you help me get this virus off my computer, I’ll repay you with a home-cooked (microwaved) meal. What do you think?”
- “I think my dryer just, like, stopped working? Would you come look at it, please? I’d be forever in your debt!”
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When something interesting happens at your place, you can invite him over right away. You may have something funny or something really cool happen at your place now and again. This makes for a prime opportunity to invite your crush over in a silly, subtle way. This strategy may take a little luck or if you're crafty, a little planning, but it's a great excuse when you have the opportunity to use it.
- “My little sister is doing a fashion show for me right now, and it’s genuinely the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. You’ve gotta see this!”
- “I’m about to get to the final stage in Super Smash Brothers ! I know you love the game. Want me to pause it so you can come see?”
- “There’s a bird in my living room, I repeat, a bird in my living room. We’re trying to get it out now. Come quickly if you want to witness the madness!”
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Sometimes, a logistical perk can be the perfect sly excuse. If there’s ever a reason that he could save time or energy by stopping at your house, that’s an opportunity you could definitely take. This is the ultimate low-pressure method because it’s for his benefit and sounds like a friendly, well-meaning offer. This works better if you know each other well enough to be aware of one another's schedules.
- "So if we’re going to the gym at five, wanna come by my house after class? I live so close. It makes sense.”
- “You have a few hours to kill between your games, right? If it’s easier, you could kick back at my place in between them. I know it’d be a long drive back to your place.”
- “I know your car is in the shop, so I could drive you to the study group if you want. We could hang at my house beforehand and pull together our notes.”
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There’s absolutely nothing wrong with just being direct. Coming up with a specific cause or excuse for inviting someone over can definitely remove the pressure of asking, and that's great. But if you’re not stressed about it, why not just say what you want without beating around the bush? Confidence and boldness are attractive qualities, so he may love that you were transparent.
- “I was thinking, I’d like to hang out with you at my place sometime. What do you think about Saturday night?”
- “What are you doing right now? And can I convince you to ditch those plans and come to my place instead?”
- “Want to come over tonight around 8?”