Is It Disrespectful to Kiss in Front of Your Parents?

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When you first start dating someone, it can feel like there’s an unwritten rule book of what’s okay to do and what’s not. Take kissing in front of your parents, for example: is it okay to kiss your partner hello, or will that make them uncomfortable? Can you hug your partner around your parents, or is that too much? In this article, we’ve answered your questions about public displays of affection (PDA) so you can decide what to do with your partner and when.

Question 1 of 6:

Can you kiss in front of your parents?

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    Most parents won’t mind if you give your partner a quick kiss on the cheek or a hello kiss on the lips. However, some parents don’t even want you to do that, so you may want to check in with them first. When you’re with your family, there’s no need to make out or get handsy with your partner—parents tend to get a little uncomfortable around that stuff (and for good reason!). [1]
    • Some parents might be okay with you kissing your partner on the cheek, but not on the lips. If you’re confused at all, you can just ask your parents what they’re comfortable with before your date comes over.
    • A good rule of thumb is not to do anything you wouldn’t want to see your parents do in front of you. A quick smooch on the lips? Fine! An intense makeout session? Gross!
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Question 2 of 6:

Is it okay to kiss in front of your partner’s parents?

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    Your partner knows their parents better than you do, so they should have a pretty good understanding of what’s okay to do in front of them. When you’re around your partner’s parents, try following your partner’s lead—if they go in for a quick peck on the lips, feel free to kiss them back briefly. [2]
    • On the flip side, if your partner keeps their distance from you in front of their parents, don’t be offended! They probably know that their parents wouldn’t want to see you two kissing, and that’s okay.
Question 3 of 6:

Is hugging too much PDA?

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    Hugs don’t usually make people uncomfortable as long as you keep your hands above your partner’s waist (no wandering down below, please!). Feel free to give your partner a hug, even if you’re around your friends or family members. It’s a sweet gesture that tells your partner you like them without going overboard. [3]
    • On the other hand, if your parents are really strict and you know they want you to keep your distance from your date, a hug might be too much. If you’re concerned, check in with your parents about what’s okay and what isn’t.
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Question 4 of 6:

Is PDA rude?

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    For the most part, you can hold your partner’s hand or give them a hug when you’re in public. You can usually do things like this in front of your friends or your parents, unless they’ve explicitly told you not to. Above all, try to keep things respectful, and don’t do anything you wouldn’t want to see another couple doing in public. [4]
    • Keep in mind, though, that if your parents are pretty strict (or you aren’t supposed to be dating right now), they may not appreciate even the smallest forms of PDA.
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    Yes, it’s true: no one wants to see you and your partner making out in front of them. Even your friends might get a little uncomfortable if you start going to town with your partner in public. Keep your PDA to a minimum when you’re out and about to avoid any awkward situations. [5]
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Question 5 of 6:

Why do people kiss in front of others?

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    It’s always nice to get a little spontaneous affection from your partner! If you’re out and about and your partner gives you a quick kiss on the mouth or the cheek, it’s to show that they enjoy being with you and that they’re having a good time. [6]
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    This isn’t as common, but it definitely still happens. If you’ve ever walked into school super early in the morning and seen a couple making out in the hallway, you’ve probably witnessed this firsthand. Some people might engage in PDA simply so they can show everyone who their partner is and what they’re doing together. When people like this kiss in public, they might take it a little too far, which can make the people around them feel uncomfortable. [7]
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Question 6 of 6:

Why does my partner kiss me in front of their friends?

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    When your partner kisses you around their buddies, it’s actually a good sign! They’re showing that they don’t mind showing you affection around their closest friends, and they want people to see that you’re together. A quick peck on the lips or some hand holding around your partner’s friends is a nice way to show off your relationship status without being too overbearing. [8]
    • On the flip side, if your partner doesn’t want to engage in PDA around their friends, that’s okay too! Not everyone is comfortable kissing in front of their pals, so just follow your partner’s lead on this one. [9]

Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How do you deal with public displays of affection with your partner?
    Michelle Jacoby
    Matchmaker & Dating Coach
    Michelle Jacoby is a Matchmaker, Dating Coach, and the Founder and CEO of DC Matchmaking, a privately owned, boutique matchmaking company based in Washington, DC, Maryland, and Virginia. She is also the Co-Founder of The Matchmakers Alliance, an international industry organization for matchmakers. With over 12 years of experience, Michelle specializes in one-on-one matchmaking and group coaching to help singles find healthy, lasting relationships. She has been featured in several media publications such as The Washington Post, Self, and NPR. Michelle holds a BA in Psychology from George Washington University. She is also a Certified Matchmaker from The Matchmakers Institute as well as a Certified Body Language Expert from The Body Language Institute.
    Michelle Jacoby
    Matchmaker & Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    Most people will feel comfortable with showing public display of affection. However, if you are uncomfortable with public display of affection communicate with your partner. It is important to discuss with your partner what public affection you're comfortable with and what you’re not.
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      Tips

      • If you’re uncomfortable with PDA, talk to your partner about what you’re okay with and what you’re not. That way, the next time you two go in public, they’ll know what they can do with you and what they should avoid.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.teenvogue.com/story/tips-meeting-parents
      2. ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/2019/12/17/fashion/weddings/tips-for-meeting-the-parents.html
      3. ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/2019/12/17/fashion/weddings/tips-for-meeting-the-parents.html
      4. ↑ https://www.gq.com/story/guide-to-pda
      5. ↑ Michelle Jacoby. Matchmaker & Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 7 September 2021.
      6. ↑ https://www.gq.com/story/guide-to-pda
      7. ↑ https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00224499.2016.1242111?scroll=top&needAccess=true&journalCode=hjsr20
      8. ↑ Michelle Jacoby. Matchmaker & Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 7 September 2021.
      9. ↑ Michelle Jacoby. Matchmaker & Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 7 September 2021.

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