How to Kiss in Public

Co-authored by Stefanie Safran

Last Updated: August 30, 2024

Kissing in public can be fun, but it can make some people uncomfortable. In most places, you're not likely to encounter anything more than a dirty look for too much public affection. Learning what's at stake before kissing in public will ensure you feel happy and comfortable showing some PDA.

Part 1

Part 1 of 2:

Kissing in Public

Download Article

1
Keep it clean. If you want to kiss your partner in public, you can. That doesn't mean you can let that kiss progress into a make out session. When going in for a public kiss, use some discretion.
- Kissing in public is fine as long as you don't overdo it. Don't use any tongue, and don't put your hands under your partner's clothes. Anything more than a closed mouth kiss may start to make people uncomfortable.
2
Be aware of your surroundings. Kissing in public isn't always acceptable. Even if you think no one is paying attention to you, it may not be a good time to start kissing.
- For example, just because you're in a dark movie theater, doesn't mean it's okay to start making out. You may be able to get away with a quick kiss on the cheek, but don't push it because you think no one can see you.
- Avoid kissing in places with large crowds, such as restaurants or grocery stores. An exception to this rule is nightclubs. It's common to see people kissing and dancing at nightclubs. If you're out and you feel like kissing, you're probably in the clear. ^{[1]
  X
  Research source}
Advertisement
3
Be aware of social customs. In some countries, kissing in public is a serious offense. In most Western countries if someone disapproves of your kiss, you should only have to worry about a dirty look or two. But, in places such as India, kissing in public could land you in a lot of trouble. ^{[2]
X
Research source}
- If you plan on traveling with your partner, research some of the customs before you leave. Look for laws regarding all types of public affection. Don't limit your research to just kissing. For example, in China, holding hands is also prohibited between couples. ^{[3]
  X
  Research source}
- Also take into account how comfortable you are with the other person. For instance, kissing at the end of the first date nowadays can feel a bit premature and inappropriate. ^{[4]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Stefanie Safran
  Dating Coach & Matchmaker
  
  Expert Interview. 8 May 2020.}
4
Make sure it's consensual. No matter where you are, respect other people's boundaries. Don't force a kiss on someone who does not want to kiss you. Nobody appreciates unwelcome physical advances.
- Don't use public affection as an ego boost. Kissing in public should be about sharing a kiss with someone you enjoy spending time with. Don't use it as a way to communicate to the rest of the world that your partner is "taken."

Part 2

Part 2 of 2:

Discussing PDA with Your Partner

Download Article

1
Find out what makes them uncomfortable. If your partner pulls away when you try to kiss in public, ask them about it. Be sensitive to their feelings, and respect their opinion. Don't make them feel like they have to kiss you in public.
- Just because your partner doesn't want to kiss you in public does not mean they are ashamed of you. It could be something as simple as not wanting to kiss in a certain location. For example, they may not want to kiss close to where they work, or in front of their friends.
- If you still want to show affection to your partner, things like hugging them, sitting closer to them, or even touching their hands in public might be more comfortable for them. ^{[5]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Stefanie Safran
  Dating Coach & Matchmaker
  
  Expert Interview. 8 May 2020.}
2
Listen. There could be any number of reasons why your partner doesn't want to kiss in public. Some reasons could be difficult to talk about. Maybe they didn't get a lot of affection in previous relationships, or maybe they feel that it's a private matter.
- When they finish speaking, reply with, "I understand why you feel this way." Then, let your partner know your side of the issue. Don't negate their feelings, but try to find out the underlying reasons of the problem.
- Make sure to maintain eye contact to show that you're staying present and engaged with what they're saying. ^{[6]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Stefanie Safran
  Dating Coach & Matchmaker
  
  Expert Interview. 8 May 2020.}
3
Try to reach an understanding. Ask what your partner is comfortable doing in public. Assure them that you aren't trying to make out with them in the middle of a large crowd.
- If you reach a compromise and you both decide it's okay to hold hands, and kiss on the cheek, respect those boundaries. Don't break your partner's trust by doing anything more than what they're comfortable doing.
4
Don't let it get in the way of private intimacy. When you're alone, let loose. Don't let the issue of public affection get in the way of actually engaging each other.
- In the privacy of your home, you should feel comfortable being affectionate. Tickle each other. Wrestle around and kiss. Keep things playful. After a while, some of that affection may spill out into the outside world.