Why Do Some People Kiss with Their Eyes Open?

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What it means when someone keeps their eyes open during a smooch
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You’re enjoying a passionate kiss with your boo, when you decide to sneak a quick peek at them. But to your surprise, they’re staring right back at you! While it might not be the norm, there are some people out there who like to keep their eyes open while they kiss. You may be asking yourself: what does this mean? And why would my partner kiss like this? We’ve compiled all the info you need to know about people who kiss with their eyes open (and why you might want to try it out yourself).

Things You Should Know

  • Some people might kiss with their eyes open because they’re nervous or they’re trying not to bump into you.
  • Others might kiss with their eyes open because they’re a visual person or they’ve just gotten into the habit.
  • There is no evidence to suggest that people who kiss with their eyes open are untrustworthy or narcissistic.
Section 1 of 5:

What does kissing with your eyes open mean?

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  1. While some have theorized that kissing with your eyes open is a “power move” or a way to avoid vulnerability, those are just theories. In reality, people who kiss with their eyes open aren’t the norm, but they aren’t super weird, either. There are lots of reasons why someone might keep their eyes open while kissing. [1]
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Section 2 of 5:

Why Some People Kiss with Their Eyes Open

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  1. If the person you’re kissing doesn’t have a ton of experience or it’s their first time kissing you, their anxiety might be getting the better of them. Maybe they normally kiss with their eyes closed, but since they’re frazzled, they’re keeping their eyes open. It happens!
  2. Not everyone has the best spatial awareness, especially with their eyes closed. It could be that the person you’re kissing opened their eyes briefly to make sure you weren’t about to bonk noses or run into each other’s foreheads.
  3. Some people love the feel of a kiss, but others prefer to see it, too. If your kissing partner has mentioned before that they’re a visual learner, this could be a part of it.
    • Many people close their eyes to kiss because it blocks out visual stimuli, meaning they can focus on their partner more. [2] For some people, though, they don’t mind that visual stimuli and don’t find it distracting.
  4. Making eye contact with your partner is a great way to build intimacy and strengthen your bond. In fact, some relationship experts even recommend kissing with your eyes open to deepen your connection. Your partner may have heard about this tactic and is trying it out for themselves.
  5. There are no rules when it comes to kissing other people, as long as it’s consensual! It could just be that your partner got into the habit and found that they prefer it. [3]
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Section 3 of 5:

Kissing with Your Eyes Open to Build Intimacy

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  1. Kissing with your eyes closed makes you focus on what your lips are doing. But when you keep your eyes open, you’re forced to look at your partner and think about them. Ask your partner to kiss you with their eyes open, then make eye contact with them as they do. See what changes about your kiss and if you feel anything different than you usually do. [4]
  2. When we close our eyes while kissing our partner, we’re shutting off the visual part of our brain. When we keep our eyes open, we’re leaving ourselves open to vulnerability. [5] As you kiss your partner, stop and think about what’s running through your mind, like:
    • “What is my partner thinking right now?”
    • “What is my partner seeing right now?”
    • “What do I see in my partner’s eyes?”
  3. Many couples kiss with their eyes open to build sexual intimacy . And while it may feel awkward at first (and you may need to take a step back and pause every once in a while), keep kissing your partner with your eyes open as things progress toward having sex. After that, what happens is up to you.
    • Many people report that they keep their eyes open during sex. [6]
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Section 4 of 5:

Are people who kiss with their eyes open untrustworthy?

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  1. While popular TV shows and songs may have us believing that keeping your eyes open during a kiss means you have ulterior motives, there’s no evidence to support this statement. [7] Similarly, there’s nothing out there that suggests someone who kisses with their eyes open is a narcissist or a sociopath. If you’re concerned about why your partner keeps their eyes open to kiss or if it bothers you, have an open and honest conversation with them about it.
    • Say something like, “I’ve noticed that you tend to keep your eyes open when we’re kissing. Is there any particular reason why?”
Section 5 of 5:

Is it weird to kiss with your eyes open?

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  1. While most people kiss with their eyes closed, there are no rules saying that you can’t keep your eyes open. As long as you and your partner are both comfortable, then you can kiss each other however you want to. [8]
    • If you’re worried your partner is uncomfortable, bring it up by saying something like, “I’ve realized that I like to kiss you with my eyes open. How do you feel about that?”
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      References

      1. ↑ https://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/kissing-eyes-open/
      2. ↑ https://pure.royalholloway.ac.uk/en/publications/out-of-touch-visual-load-induces-inattentional-numbness
      3. ↑ https://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/kissing-eyes-open/
      4. ↑ https://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/kissing-eyes-open/
      5. ↑ https://www.sciencefocus.com/the-human-body/why-do-we-close-our-eyes-when-we-kiss/
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-the-name-love/201901/do-you-make-love-your-eyes-closed
      7. ↑ https://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/kissing-eyes-open/
      8. ↑ https://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/kissing-eyes-open/

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