How to Know an INTJ Likes You

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People with an INTJ (introverted, intuitive, thinking, judging) personality type tend to be analytical and creative, so they can be amazing, thoughtful partners. If your idea of a romantic evening involves intelligent conversations and sharing interests, an INTJ might just be your perfect date. That said, INTJs tend to be reserved and appreciate their personal space, so sometimes it can be tough to tell whether they like you, even when they’re not trying to hide it. Don’t worry—to help you out, we’ve put together a list of 11 signs that an INTJ likes you as more than just a friend. [1]

1

They take interest in your interests.

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  1. Ever the observer, they’ll want to know and engage in your likes and dislikes, dreams and goals, and more. They might even use this to help inform how they interact with you and what they do for and with you, often putting your interests above their own.
    • They might binge your favorite TV show, even if it’s not normally up their alley.
    • If you recommend a book or podcast that you like, they might just check it out so that they can discuss it with you.
    • Do you like painting, playing a sport, or going hiking? If they know what hobbies you enjoy, don’t be surprised if they give those activities a try, too! [2]
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2

They show up where you are.

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  1. If they frequently pop up in the same places that you’re going, it may well be that they know you’re likely to be there. They’re not necessarily trying to be creepy about it — in fact, it’s probably a good sign that they’re trying to spend time with you in their own unique way.
3

They initiate physical contact with you.

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  1. So if they do allow hugs or are otherwise willing to be touchy-feely, it means that they trust you a lot — especially if they’re the ones to initiate the physical contact. [3] [4]
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4

They find subtle ways to make you happy.

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  1. Once they know your likes, goals, and other interests, they’ll use that information to put a smile on your face. In many cases, their gestures might be small and subtle, but this isn’t something that they’ll do for just anybody.
    • If they know you like something — such as your favorite dessert or snack — they might leave it for you at your desk or by your door.
    • They want to help you achieve your goals. This might take the shape of giving you their time and advice, including constructive criticism.
    • They go out of their way to do small favors for you, whether it’s taking care of you if you’re feeling sick or helping you tidy up your workspace.
    • They’ll often notice and try to help you with what you need, rather than just what you want. Sure, a set of cute sticky notes might not be romantic, but if they notice that you like to mark notable passages in your books, it shows that they’re paying attention and know what kinds of things you’ll actually use! [5] [6]
5

They go out of their way to talk with you.

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  1. It’s a good sign that they might be interested if they go out of their way to try to talk to you. The frequency and detail of their communication is key — if it’s detailed and consistent, they probably like and trust you a lot!
    • They’ll text you more often than they would typically text someone.
    • They’ll reply to your texts more quickly than they would reply to most texts.
    • It’s a pretty good sign if they feel comfortable enough with you to ramble about nothing in particular. [7]
    • Even if they're quiet, there's probably nothing wrong with that. They may simply need a little bit of time on their own or without talking to get their energy back.
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6

They want to spend time with you.

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  1. As introverts, they often need a lot of personal space to recharge, and they don’t often spend time on things or people they don’t value. So if they’re willing to spend a lot of time with you, they’re telling you that they think you’re worth their energy — especially if they initiate the idea of spending time together [8]
7

They’ll give you compliments.

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  1. Observant and creative, they tend to notice things that others might not, and they especially tend to admire others’ personalities and intelligence. Sure, anybody could tell you how pretty your eyes are, but how many people would make specific note of why they like your taste in books or movies? Or remark on your debate skills ? [9]
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8

They plan ahead.

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  1. INTJs tend to be long-term planners, so if they like you, they might take interest in both your and their own long-term plans and goals, often calculating how they mesh. Do you have similar academic or career goals? Do you see yourselves living in the same area?
    • They’ll sometimes even go out of their way to help you achieve your goals. You want to apply to your dream school or job? If they offer to help read over your application, they probably like you a lot.
    • Consider yourself extra lucky if they mention you in their own visions of the future! [10]
9

They open up emotionally with you.

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  1. So if they talk about their own feelings or invest in your emotional life, it might be a sign that they trust you more than most. In many cases, an INTJ won’t just see the sense in taking half measures, so if they feel safe enough to open up with you, they’ll really open up.
    • Do they discuss problems or fears with you?
    • Do they share their hopes and dreams?
    • Perhaps they get excited to share things that make them happy, as well. [11]
    • Reader Poll: We asked 992 wikiHow readers, and 50% of them agreed that the best way to help an introverted person feel more comfortable is by giving them time and space to open up . [Take Poll]
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10

They tell — or show — you directly.

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  1. While they aren’t always great at verbal communication, they often find it easier to be direct than to beat around the bush. This sometimes means they’ll tell you outright that they like you, but even if they don’t, they’ll often find ways to show you that they’re interested.
    • They might ask you to hang out one-on-one or do other date-like activities, even if they don’t expressly call it a date.
    • They might go out of their way to learn about and understand you and to show their appreciation for you. [12]
11

Ask them if you’re not sure!.

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  1. Especially because many of them struggle with dancing around subtle social cues. While they might need to take some time to process their feelings after you first ask, they will often appreciate being able to skip the subtle hints and guesswork that often come with flirting. [13]
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.bsu.edu/about/administrativeoffices/careercenter/tools-resources/personality-types
      2. ↑ https://www.myersbriggs.org/type-in-my-life/personality-type-and-relationships/
      3. ↑ https://www.joinonelove.org/learn/what-is-your-relationship-strength-based-on-your-myers-briggs-personality-type/
      4. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/personality-type-compatibility#personality-types
      5. ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/someone-likes-you/
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-attraction-doctor/202402/signs-that-show-whether-someone-is-interested-in-you
      7. ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/someone-likes-you/
      8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/let-their-words-do-the-talking/201607/5-nonverbal-clues-someone-is-interested-in-you
      9. ↑ https://www.personalitydata.org/16-types/intj
      1. ↑ https://www.personalitydata.org/16-types/intj
      2. ↑ https://www.joinonelove.org/learn/what-is-your-relationship-strength-based-on-your-myers-briggs-personality-type/
      3. ↑ https://www.personalitydata.org/16-types/intj-relationships
      4. ↑ https://www.personalitydata.org/16-types/intj-relationships

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