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What do Scorpio men want when it comes to love?
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Compared to other zodiac signs, Scorpio men have some of the most intense personalities—emotional, mysterious, and loyal. Relationships with them are passionate and intimate! That’s why dating a Scorpio man is often super rewarding, especially if you know how he thinks and understand his core personality traits. Read on for a complete guide to expressing love and affection for your Scorpio man, spotting the signs that he’s in love, and developing a strong long-term relationship with him.
Things You Should Know
- Scorpio men are brave, passionate, ambitious, and loyal. When a Scorpio man falls in love, he’ll likely become very protective and generous towards you.
- Find love with a Scorpio man by building up trust over time and being yourself around him. Scorpio guys value honesty, loyalty, and authenticity above all!
- Share your feelings with Scorpio to build a stronger connection, and avoid judgmental language to help navigate conflicts respectfully.
Steps
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Brave: Scorpio men have a ton of courage! To him, a challenge is just another opportunity—which is why Scorpio men tackle obstacles head-on and totally fearlessly. They’ll eagerly volunteer for tasks others might consider too hard or risky and always come to the rescue when a friend or loved one needs help.
- For instance, if a Scorpio guy has the choice between taking a huge risk on a new job that appeals more to them or playing it safe in their current, perfectly adequate job, he’ll likely choose high-risk (and high rewards) every time.
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Loyal: Trust and loyalty go hand-in-hand for a Scorpio man. As a fixed sign, he’s super driven and dedicated—which means once he commits to a relationship, he’ll never stray. Scorpio men develop strong attachments with their partners, and their feelings rarely change once formed. When a Scorpio man loves, he loves for a long time—maybe even the better part of his life. [1] X Research source
- Scorpio’s sense of loyalty means he tends to prefer long-term, committed relationships rather than brief flings.
- If you want to date a Scorpio, let him know that you’re also looking for a steady and committed relationship.
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Passionate: Scorpio men have super intense energy about them. While they may not always wear their feelings on their sleeves, Scorpio men certainly approach their romantic relationships with a ton of passion and emotional intensity. Their natural drive and determination often help them develop powerful connections with the people they care about.
- Scorpio men also tend to let their passions guide them through life. Every decision they make is fueled by intense emotion and intuition, even if they don’t show it to others.
- For example, though they may seem reserved, Scorpio men tend to get attached very quickly in relationships!
- Sometimes, Scorpios can be a little clingy. Don’t be afraid to ask your Scorpio for some space ; he’ll understand your need for alone time.
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Ambitious: When they set a goal for themselves, Scorpio men pursue it with single-minded determination. They don’t let anything stop them from achieving those goals and often have high expectations for themselves! Expect your Scorpio guy to be exceptionally ambitious, hardworking, and driven.
- In modern astrology, Scorpio is ruled by Pluto, the planet of transformation and rebirth, as well as power and control. Much of Scorpio’s intense ambition stems from their connection to Pluto; they want to evolve into powerful authority figures.
- For example, if you ask your Scorpio man about his career plans, he’ll definitely have them—and odds are, he wants to be the boss in whatever he does. He probably doesn’t like answering to anyone!
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Stubborn: When push comes to shove, Scorpio men stand their ground. It’s hard to get them to change their minds about anything! They like to do things their way and are often reluctant to compromise with others. That means it can be tough to disagree with a Scorpio man—because it’s pretty hard to convince him that he could be wrong.
- Scorpio’s stubbornness comes from the fact that they’re fixed signs. Fixed signs are the “stabilizers” of the zodiac; they tend to be the most dedicated and driven signs, but they’re also quite obstinate!
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Secretive: It takes a lot of trust for Scorpio to let anyone know what they’re thinking. With a calm, reserved, and quiet exterior, Scorpio men often come off as very mysterious and secretive. They often keep to themselves and don’t like to show any vulnerability. In Scorpio’s mind, if nobody knows what they’re thinking, that gives them an advantage in conversations.
- For instance, your Scorpio man might not initially give you many details about himself. In fact, he might change the subject or redirect by asking a question rather than answering one from you.
- As you get closer to him, your Scorpio guy won’t act so secretive around you anymore—but around other people, he’ll likely maintain the same mysterious, reserved personality.
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They’re protective: In ancient astrology, Scorpio is ruled by Mars, the planet of passion and aggression—which means Scorpio men are fiercely protective of the people they care about! When he’s in love, he’ll always watch your back and shield you from harm to the best of his ability. It’s his way of showing you how much he cares.
- For example, you might notice your Scorpio man walking you to and from your car on dates, always ensuring you get inside your home safely before he leaves.
- He’s the kind of guy who’ll defend you without reservation. He'll immediately jump into a conversation if he feels like someone is putting you down.
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They’ll confide in you: Scorpio men tend to be fairly guarded, but underneath that calm mask is a deep well of emotion. When he trusts and loves you, your Scorpio man will feel comfortable letting his guard down and telling you exactly how he feels. He’ll let you in on his secrets, hopes, and dreams, share details about his past, and turn to you when he needs a supportive ear.
- The more your Scorpio confides in you, the deeper your emotional connection with him will grow.
- He may come off as reserved at the start of your relationship, but when he lets his guard down, he’ll be downright chatty as long as it’s just the two of you!
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They’re enthusiastic: Scorpio isn’t the most expressive sign, but when a Scorpio guy is in love, he can’t help but be eager to spend time with you. In fact, he’ll enthusiastically let you know that he wants to see more of you and start going out of his way to see you whenever possible.
- For example, you might get frequent phone calls and texts from a Scorpio man in love. He’ll want to talk often because it helps him feel connected to you.
- He might also invite you out for coffee or dinner out of the blue, just because he can’t wait to see you any longer!
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They share their space: Scorpio men tend to be pretty private and secretive, which means personal space is super important to them. However, when they’re in love with you, you’ll become the one person they don’t mind sharing their space with. He’ll let you borrow his belongings, share food, and invite you to spend more time around his home.
- For example, if he’s in love, your Scorpio man might offer to let you borrow his sweater when you feel cold—and, instead of asking for it back right away, he might tell you to hang onto it as long as you like.
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They always support you: Scorpio men don’t do things halfway. He’s a very “do or die” kind of guy, so he's all in when he falls in love and commits to a relationship. That means he’ll be there to help and support you, no matter what you need. Despite their intense nature, Scorpio men are actually some of the most caring and giving zodiac signs!
- For instance, he might happily agree to pick you up from work or help you take care of a sick family member, even if it inconveniences him.
- If you’re having a stressful week, your Scorpio guy might even step up and tackle a few of your chores just because he doesn’t want you to worry.
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They’re sensual and seductive: Scorpio guys are pretty tactile and love physical affection. It might seem like he can’t keep his hands off you! Whether he’s sitting close enough for your legs to touch, cuddling with you, having a passionate makeout session, or outright seducing you, a Scorpio man will likely express his love through physical contact.
- Scorpio men tend to be fairly adventurous in the bedroom and may even enjoy intense things like BDSM.
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They get jealous easily: When they fall in love, Scorpio guys can be pretty possessive of their significant other. They want to know that you have eyes for them and nobody else. When a Scorpio guy is at his worst, he may seem brooding, have a hard time trusting others, and become jealous at the drop of a hat if he feels like someone is trying to win your attention. [2] X Expert Source Angel Eyedealism
Astrologer & Performance Artist Expert Interview. 8 December 2021.- For example, you might see him get upset if someone else flirts with you or become moody if you go hang out with other friends.
- Character flaws, horoscope-based or otherwise, should never excuse abusive behavior. If you think you might be in an abusive relationship with your partner, get help immediately.
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Be a little mysterious to intrigue your Scorpio man. The fastest way to a Scorpio man’s heart is to keep him guessing! Scorpio guys naturally have an air of mystery about them and enjoy being around people who match that energy. Maintain a sense of mystery by revealing details about yourself over time; be a bit vague at first, then reel him in with the promise of more.
- Scorpio men also love a little excitement and change, so surprise him with your spontaneous side. He’ll absolutely love going on adventures and exploring the mysteries of the world with a partner who understands his passions.
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Ask your Scorpio man about his special interests. Scorpios men have a natural thirst for understanding! They love to learn new things and cultivate knowledge about their favorite subjects. Bring up topics he enjoys and appeal to him by introducing new, fascinating subjects. He’ll appreciate having the chance to share his interests with you. [3] X Research source
- If your Scorpio is an astronomer, you might go with him to his favorite museum. Or if he's a hairdresser, you could ask him what he thinks about a popular hairstyle.
- Intellectual Scorpio men are often interested in deep questions, like the meaning of existence or what happens to a person after death.
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Have intellectual discussions and debates with your Scorpio man. As deep and cerebral signs, Scorpio men appreciate partners with a sharp intellect and confident opinions. They don’t necessarily need to agree with you—as long as you can agree to disagree, they’ll enjoy a debate! Ask your Scorpio about his opinions, listen to him, then share your own thought (whether you agree or not).
- For example, you might say, "So I noticed you're part of our school's environmental club. What got you into that?"
- Avoid discussing controversial topics until you've gotten to know him and understand his feelings enough to avoid upsetting him.
- Scorpios tend to hold strong opinions, so don’t be offended if he's a passionate debater. He's not trying to offend you—just explaining his perspective.
- Reader Poll: We asked 441 wikiHow readers who've dated Scorpio men, and only 8% of them agreed that the best way to attract them is by being intelligent and analytical. [Take Poll] While Scorpio men may enjoy deep, philosophical conversations, they’re even more attracted to people who aren’t afraid to be themselves. Don’t try to change yourself just to make him like you. Odds are, he likes you just the way you are!
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Build up the trust between you and your Scorpio gradually. Scorpio men can be a little paranoid when it comes to relationships; they don’t lower their guard for just anyone! At the same time, trust is everything to them, which is probably why they don’t give it easily. Show him that he can trust you by being open, honest, and loyal. At the end of the day, that’s all he really wants.
- Scorpio isn’t the kind of sign that responds well to even a hint of disloyalty, so avoid flirting with other people to test his commitment or trying to play the field. He wants to know that you’re his and nobody else’s.
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Let your Scorpio guy take the lead in the relationship. Scorpio men tend to be assertive and a bit domineering; at their core, they don’t like feeling powerless. As he comes to trust you, your Scorpio will likely relinquish some control when it’s just the two of you—but never all of it. Show Scorpio you understand his needs by letting him set the pace of your relationship and following his lead. [4] X Research source
- Essentially, letting him take the lead means not telling your Scorpio man what to do or trying to rush him into anything he isn’t ready for. Allow him to make his own decisions and take the initiative so he feels in control of the situation.
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Show off your strong, confident side around him. Just because your Scorpio man likes to take the lead, doesn’t mean he wants to date someone who’s totally passive. He’s attracted to confidence and strength, so don’t be afraid to show him what a force of nature you can be! Being with a Scorpio man means striking a balance between letting him run the show and not letting him control you.
- For example, don’t be afraid to assert your opinions or stand up for yourself if he asks you to do something you don’t like doing.
- Setting your own boundaries is something a Scorpio guy can (and should) definitely respect; he just doesn’t like it when people try to control him or make choices for him.
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Be your genuine self around him. Scorpio men are attracted to people who are comfortable with being genuine, allowing others to see their true selves . In a Scorpio’s mind, it’s a huge sign that you’re trustworthy and solid. [5] X Expert Source Angel Eyedealism
Astrologer & Performance Artist Expert Interview. 8 December 2021. Be honest with your Scorpio man, and he’ll return that honesty with you.- Try not to mask your emotions around a Scorpio, especially about important topics. He’ll want to know what you really think about everything—not what you think he wants to hear.
- Similarly, steer clear of making things up about yourself or being disingenuous. As an extremely intuitive water sign, Scorpio has an uncanny ability to read people.
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Plan fun and exciting outdoor dates with your Scorpio guy. Scorpios often love spending time outside, especially with the people they care about. Spend an afternoon or a weekend on a romantic outdoor getaway with your Scorpio whenever possible. As a water sign, Scorpio is naturally drawn to activities with aquatic themes!
- For example, your Scorpio will likely really enjoy water sports! Show him a great time by inviting him to try wakeboarding, fishing, sailing, or water skiing with you.
Esther Perel, PsychotherapistEmbrace adventure and trying new things. "Breaking routine and stepping out of what feels comfortable connects you to curiosity and discovery. So, ask yourselves, what is something new you can do together?"
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Support your Scorpio’s many goals and ambitions. As fixed signs, Scorpio men are super ambitious and love to feel like their partner has their back. Ask your Scorpio about his goals in life and the best way for you to support him . When he accomplishes one of his endeavors, congratulate him enthusiastically so he can see how much you care!
- It’s definitely not your job to be his personal cheerleader, but partners in happy and healthy relationships are often one another’s greatest supporters!
- Furthermore, ambitious Scorpios typically don’t mesh well with people who hold them back from their dreams.
- Be sure to give your Scorpio space while he's working on important projects. When it comes to passion projects, they often need alone time.
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Make plenty of time for physical intimacy. Did you know that physical touch is Scorpio’s primary love language? These water signs are super sensual and seductive—and for Scorpio, physical intimacy also builds emotional intimacy in the relationship . True intimacy takes time, so spend lots of quality time with him and gradually engage in more physical intimacy. [6] X Expert Source Jessica Lanyadoo
Astrologer & Psychic Medium Expert Interview. 12 November 2019.- There’s no need to rush having sex with your Scorpio until you’re both ready; there are plenty of ways to build physical intimacy in the meantime.
- Affectionate gestures like hugs, kisses, and cuddles on the couch are great ways to build intimacy and show love to your Scorpio man.
- Look for ways to create more emotional intimacy as well! For example, having deep conversations with him can go a long way toward building that connection.
- Scorpios are usually very open about their sexual interests. Don’t be afraid to explore your sexuality while dating a Scorpio man!
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Be patient with him to draw out his sensitive side. Scorpios tend to be elusive when it comes to their true emotions. However, if you take the time to make your Scorpio man feel safe, he may open up to you gradually! Let him come to you and get accustomed to vulnerability at his own pace, and listen to him as he reveals more of himself to help him feel loved.
- Try not to push your Scorpio to reveal more than he’s comfortable with. It may damage the trust between you; plus, because he can be very stubborn, he’s unlikely to bend before he’s ready.
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Reassure your Scorpio man about how much you care. Even a strong-willed Scorpio needs a little comfort sometimes. Underneath his confident exterior, your Scorpio guy may be fairly unsure and cautious when it comes to relationships, which is why reassurance can be incredibly comforting for him! He needs someone he can trust, so reassure him that your feelings for him are a constant he can rely on in the future.
- For example, say something like, “I’m always here for you, in the good times and the bad. You’ve got me in your corner!” or “You know you can tell me anything, right? I care for you deeply, and that won’t change.”
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Respect his privacy when he needs a little space. As possessive as they can sometimes be, Scorpio men are also quite independent. They’re often very secretive and may need alone time to reflect, work through their emotions, or recharge and do a few solo activities. When your Scorpio guy needs space, give it to him! Let him go off and come back to you on his own.
- Protesting or crowding a Scorpio guy who wants some privacy may just end up making him uncomfortable. Scorpio is typically an introverted sign, so alone time is important to them.
- Remember, Scorpio’s independent nature isn’t a reflection of you or your relationship. If he’s with you, he likely loves spending time with you—but that doesn’t change his need for privacy either.
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Be honest about your feelings and let yourself be vulnerable. Say you date your Scorpio guy and realize you’re falling in love with him—how can you express it? As far as Scorpio is concerned, honesty is the best policy. He’d much rather you speak your mind than bottle your feelings up, so if you want him to know how much you love him, be brave and tell him that.
- Because Scorpio can be slow to express his feelings, he may actually be waiting for you to make the first move. Telling him how you feel might pave the way for him to return the sentiment!
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Check if your sign is compatible with Scorpio according to astrology. Two committed people can form a healthy relationship regardless of their astrology signs—but, according to astrology, some signs partner better with Scorpio than others. For example, earth and water signs like Cancer , Virgo , Capricorn , and Pisces are thought to click best with Scorpio, while air and fire signs like Aquarius and Sagittarius may not understand Scorpio as well.
- Even if your signs don’t match up, astrology can be a helpful indicator of areas you might be able to work on together. You can still have a loving, fulfilling relationship with your partner!
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Share your feelings and perspective rather than ignoring him. If your Scorpio knows what's on your mind, he’s much more likely to calm down and agree to a compromise with you. Remember: although Scorpios are intuitive, they’re not psychic! Ignoring him when you’re upset will likely only lead to more conflict, so let him know what’s on your mind, and listen when he opens up to you.
- For example, you could say, "When you said that you don't like my dog, it hurt my feelings. My dog means a lot to me, and I guess hearing that made me feel offended."
- Sharing your emotions during a conflict can be tough, but ultimately, it’s the only way to move past the problem in a healthy way—and your Scorpio will definitely appreciate it in the long run!
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Steer clear of judgmental or critical language during arguments. Though they have a cool outer shell, Scorpios are sensitive at heart. Harsh criticism can hurt your Scorpio man’s feelings and damage the trust that you share. Focus on sharing your perspective rather than making him feel like you’re judging him; if you offer him advice, use constructive words rather than critical ones.
- To make discussions easier, try pairing each constructive comment with a compliment to make Scorpio feel more at ease.
- For example, you could say, "When we were talking with my friend, she said she felt like you were a little standoffish. I know you didn't mean it because you have such a good heart, but sometimes you can seem a little aloof."
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Ask him to respect your boundaries (and do the same for him). Scorpio men and women like to be dominant in their relationships, especially when arguing. If your Scorpio guy is too domineering or assertive for your liking, remind them that you value your independence as much as they do. From there, focus on building a more balanced relationship.
- Arguments aren’t about winning, so don’t try to win every disagreement with your Scorpio. Focus more on understanding his perspective and coming to a compromise than shutting him down.
- For example, you might say, "I know you want to spend the entire weekend together, but I need some “me time” tonight. I'd appreciate it if you could respect that and go out with friends tonight instead."
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Tell your Scorpio man if you feel like he’s being too possessive. Scorpios are fiercely protective when they’re in love, especially when they feel concerned, jealous, or insecure. However, if that possessive behavior makes you feel smothered, telling your Scorpio you need more personal space and independence is more than okay.
- Be gentle and respectful when pointing this tendency out to your Scorpio. His heart is usually in the right place; he might not even realize he’s smothering you.
- For example, you could say, "I know you're worried about me taking the night bus home, but I promise you I'm safe. This is something I've done many times before. How about I call you when I get home?"
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Learn How to Attract a Scorpio Man with this Expert Series
Scorpio men are private, mysterious, and occasionally intimidating. We've put together this expert series to help you understand Scorpio behavior and attract the Scorpio man of your dreams.
1
Know if a Scorpio Man Likes You
2
How to Flirt with a Scorpio Man over Text (with Examples)
3
Scorpio Man Compatibility: Which Sign Is the Best Match for Scorpio?
4
Text a Scorpio Man
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11 Ways to Turn on a Scorpio Man through Text
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Common Signs a Scorpio Man is Playing You (& What to Do About It)
Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow do you handle a Scorpio?Jessica Lanyadoo is an astrologer with over 20 years of consulting experience. She is the author of Astrology for Real Relationships: Understanding You, Me, and How We All Get Along and is the host of the popular astrology and advice show, Ghost of a Podcast. Lanyadoo co-hosted TLC’s digital astrology show Stargazing and writes weekly and monthly horoscopes that help you heal.Scorpios are generally misunderstood because they're very emotional and they can get attached quite easily. This doesn't mean that they're insincere, or melodramatic. It means that when they experience emotions, their emotions are intense. Try to compliment a Scorpio. They tend to really value compliments. It's also extremely important that you give a Scorpio their privacy. They tend to be quite private.
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Tips
- Scorpio men love to feel special. Give them extra attention every once and a while, especially if he's having a bad day.Thanks
- Scorpio has a tendency to take everything personally. Avoid intentionally angering them.Thanks
- Remember: not every Scorpio is alike. There is more to a person's identity than their zodiac sign. While you might use the typical Scorpio characteristics as guidelines while dating your Scorpio, get to know him and adjust how you treat him based on his personality.Thanks
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References
- ↑ http://www.astrology-zodiac-signs.com/man/scorpio/
- ↑ Angel Eyedealism. Astrologer & Performance Artist. Expert Interview. 8 December 2021.
- ↑ http://www.astrology-zodiac-signs.com/zodiac-signs/scorpio/
- ↑ https://cafeastrology.com/articles/scorpiomanlove.html
- ↑ Angel Eyedealism. Astrologer & Performance Artist. Expert Interview. 8 December 2021.
- ↑ Jessica Lanyadoo. Astrologer & Psychic Medium. Expert Interview. 12 November 2019.
About This Article
Article Summary
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Loving a Scorpio man involves understanding his passionate side, engaging in intellectual debate, and communicating if he is being too dominant. Go into the relationship knowing that your Scorpio man will be a passionate partner. They will have strong emotions about the relationship and expect you to be passionate in return. Scorpio men also love to discuss intellectual issues and they tend to be opinionated. Engage in debates with them and don’t be afraid to share your opinion too, as they will love your passion. If your Scorpio man is being too dominant or possessive in the relationship, make sure that you tell him how you feel. Try to be kind when you tell him how you feel, because although Scorpios can seem cool on the outside, they are quite sensitive at heart. For more advice on loving a Scorpio man, like how to support him in achieving his goals, read on.
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