Some people have a talent for making friends: they're the popular ones who always have friends to back them up when they're down. Unfortunately, not everyone is born with the knack. It comes with practice, however, and with these tips you'll have people begging to hang out with you.
Steps
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Get some confidence. You need to take a risk and just- put yourself out there. If you aren't that confident, just try put a smile on your face and be optimistic. Think that you can do anything- and that would show. Putting a smile on your face is an instant cure for depression and lack of self-confidence - after all, it is almost impossible to see a person smiling happily and feeling un-confident at the same time. Being optimistic improves your life all round, just think positively and try to always find a way to enjoy what you are doing. People like people who are confident and happy.
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Talk to someone and be friendly. What's not to like about someone who likes you? Try making people happy - but stand up for yourself if you need to. Pretend you are a kind of story detective and that everyone you see has some kind of tragic and dramatic story. Start asking subtle questions and get interested in them. Saying a simple 'hi!' immediately gives people an impression of you being friendly. [1] X Research sourceAdvertisement
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Hang out with a random group of people. Just ask a random group of people (that you want to know better) whether you can hang out with them. You don't need to fear rejection, because if you think about it, even the meanest people can't reject you. You can do this anywhere and chances are, the people in that group will start to like you a lot. If you decide that you don't really like them after all, just select another group and do the same. [2] X Research source
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Just do it. If you can't open your mouth and talk, just force yourself. It will become easier after a while and shyness gets you nowhere. People can't read your mind; only talking with them gives them understanding of what you think. [3] X Research source
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You are you and don't let that change. Be the best 'you' that you can be. Improve constantly whether in work, writing, good habits...Your friends are there to support you and make you even better and happier, not to change you.
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Look the part. You don't have to be pretty, thin or the next Kate Moss, but you must be approachable. People will never want to be your friend if you shuffle around with a face like you've just eaten a lemon, with snot dripping down your nose, bags under your eyes, obscenely long fingernails that are black with dirt.
- If you do have long fingernails and you refuse to cut them, wash them morning and night with soap and a nail brush. File them into a smooth shape, or they will look ugly and misshapen - and if there are rough edges, they will catch and either scratch someone (which stings like a paper cut), or catch on something solid and break. If you're particularly unlucky, both might happen.
- Obviously, wash your face every day with warm water and a little facial wash.
- Especially for girls, wash your hair at the very least twice a week. Washing it every day can remove it's natural oils though, so unless you splash out for special nourishing treatments, every other day should be sufficient.
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Be positive. No-one wants to hang around you if you grumble and moan every minute of the day, muttering about doom and gloom, and how the whole world is ganging up on you. Even if the world is all after you, no-one will be interested. Everyone's favourite subject is themselves. Remember that: ask about things they know about, inquire as to their favourite books/films/colours, but don't talk about yourself all the time. [4] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
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Be clever, but not obviously. You're probably in school if you're reading this article, so in class don't wave your hand for every question. People will call you a show off. If you get an A+, don't tell people unless they you ask, and don't go on about it. Just give them a modest smile, tell them your result and ask about theirs. Let them talk as much as they want, and nod. If they got a low grade, or seem disappointed, change the subject. If they need homework help and ask you, help them, but don't do it for them. That is another "taking advantage of you" sort of thing. Being intelligent will give you plenty to talk about.
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Be nice. Most people are drawn to people who are pleasant because those people make them feel happy and good. Try not to criticize or judge anyone, be reassuring and most people would want to tell you things. Complement people if you think they do something well, because - if you have something nice to say, why not say it? This may seem obvious, but it really works. A smile, helping someone with homework, or letting them borrow something really puts you in their good books. Don't take rubbish though - if they take advantage of you, they are not a good choice for a friend. Don't be mean though, just turn your efforts to other, friendlier people. [5] X Research source
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Be neutral. If you disagree with something, if it's something important - just voice it. Say it in a normal, cheerful way and don't make it personal. Don't attempt to argue, because that just ends two ways. The person feeling right and triumphant and the person feeling hurt and even more convinced that they're right. You lose in both ways, so just say your opinion and leave it. If the person argues, just say 'oh, okay' and move on to another subject.
- Don't be very opinionated. If someone likes dogs, and you've just said something like: "Dogs are so disgusting! I hate them - they're gross, lolloping pests that poo everywhere. People who like dogs are idiots!" Especially if the person is popular, often their friends will side with them and ignore you. If you do make this mistake, apologise and explain if you've maybe had a bad memory with a dog attack (but DON'T lie!!!) or tell them you don't know much about dogs, and that's why you don't like them much. Change the subject ASAP.
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Share a cookie or a loan and extra pencil. Ask to sit with someone nice at lunch. Be friendly and smile! Whatever you do, get out there and show the world that you're a nice person to be friends with!
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Be true to yourself. Don't make friends with popular people because they wear cool clothes and are popular. Do it because you like their character, and how they act toward everyone. Do they act mean towards others, but not towards you? People who are being picked on by these girls or boys could turn out to be really nice friends, so you may want to consider dropping out if they really aren't nice to anyone except for people in their club.Advertisement
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Tips
- Stand up for people who are being bullied/picked on. They will be extremely grateful to you, because no-one deserves to be made miserably because of one insecure person. Only pathetic people have to upset others to feel good.Thanks
- Join lots of clubs. You'll make friends everywhere.Thanks
- Try lots of things - horse riding, dancing, martial arts, football, book clubs and other things will give you a well rounded viewpoint. You can't say you hate something until you've tried it.Thanks
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Warnings
- Never be a bully. People will not like you, it isn't nice and makes your victim incredibly miserable.Thanks
- Don't do inappropriate things to get friends - that includes smoking, underage and excessive drinking, drugs and other things will damage your health, possibly forever. Is a couple of extra friends really worth ten years off your life? In ten years you could make hundreds of friends, one group won't make much difference.Thanks
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References
- ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/24/smarter-living/the-edit-how-to-make-friends.html
- ↑ https://greatist.com/happiness/how-to-make-keep-friends#keep-old-friends
- ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/24/smarter-living/the-edit-how-to-make-friends.html
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/making-good-friends.htm
- ↑ https://greatist.com/happiness/how-to-make-keep-friends#make-new-friends
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