How to Make Out with Someone: French Kissing & More

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Learn how to have an epic make out session, even if you’ve never done it before
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When you really like someone, kissing might not be enough—you want to feel close and connected, and making out is the perfect way to do that. But if you’ve never made out with anyone before, don’t worry! Your mind might be racing, but the most important thing is to pay attention to your partner and to make sure they’re having a good time. If you want to know how to make out like you've done it a million times before, just follow these steps.

How to Make Out

  1. Pick a private spot to make out, and be sure to freshen up beforehand.
  2. Lean in close to your partner, and start out with a light, slow kiss on the lips.
  3. Slowly introduce tongue and start French kissing while using your hands to touch your partner’s body.
  4. Pull away if you need a breather or are ready to stop.
Part 1
Part 1 of 3:

Initiating the Make Out

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  1. If you sense a make-out coming on, put some effort into looking and smelling your best. Wipe your nose, brush your teeth, and splash some water on your face. Reapply deodorant so you’re smelling your best, and use a few sprays of perfume or cologne if you’d like to. [1]
    • Don’t forget to pop a breath mint or apply some lip balm!
    • When you feel and look your best , you’ll boost your confidence going into the make out session.
  2. No one wants to make out with an audience, especially for your first time. Get some privacy by planning a romantic picnic or a quiet movie night at home. [2]
    • Resist the urge to cut the lights completely. You might think that total darkness will ease your nerves and hide any slip-ups. For a first-timer, though, it'll actually make things a lot more difficult—you can't see where you're going, and you'll want to be able to gauge your partner's reaction. Save the full darkness for later sessions when you know each other better.
    • If you're alone in a bedroom or a basement, you can dim the lights a bit without being too obvious about it.
    • Set the mood, if you like. If you know that someone you like will be coming over solo later and that there's a good chance you'll be making out later, then you can make sure your room is neat and tidy, that there's no chance a parent, sibling, or roommate will interrupt, and that everything smells nice.
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  3. If you're already comfortable kissing someone regularly, move it into making out simply by continuing the kisses. If you haven't kissed this person much before, though, initiating a make-out session might take some extra maneuvering. Here are some ways to let the other person know you're interested: [3]
    • Find excuses to get close. Putting your body as near as possible to the other person's is a pretty strong hint. Sit close if you're on a couch or in a car, or hold hands and stand with your body completely against theirs. Make it extra obvious by staring deep into their eyes.
    • Reveal slightly more skin. If you're wearing a cardigan or jacket, take it off casually. You could also undo the top button of your shirt, roll up your sleeves, or pull up your hair, so that your neck and chest are more exposed.
    • Get handsy. Before you start kissing , make your intentions clear by using your hands to start closer contact. [4] Hold hands, offer a shoulder or foot rub, play with the other person's hair, or lightly trace your fingers over their face or throat.
  4. Are they incredibly eager to start kissing and pretty experienced when it comes to locking lips? Or is this their first time too, and are they acting even more nervous than you feel? If your partner is really ready to take it to the next level, relax and let them take the lead. But if you see that you're the one who is doing more of the hinting, touching, and talking, take a deep breath and muster up all of the confidence you have. [5]
    • If you aren’t sure whether or not your partner wants to kiss you, just ask. Say something like, “Can I kiss you right now?” If your partner is feeling nervous, asking for permission might just put them more at ease.
    EXPERT TIP

    John Keegan

    Dating Coach
    John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
    John Keegan
    Dating Coach

    Ease into the first kiss. Start with a casual touch, like holding hands. As comfort grows, progress to a gentle arm around the shoulder. Read their body language–sustained eye contact and corresponding touch are positive signs. If all feels right, lean in slowly and wait for their response.

  5. [6] Slowly bring your face toward the other person's, maintaining eye contact until you're a few inches away. Then close your eyes and start a kiss. If they seem interested, you're probably clear to move on to making out; if you run into hesitation, though, it might be best to try another time. If it's your very first kiss, then you may be a little nervous, but take a deep breath and let your lips touch your partner's at a slight angle. This will make it easier for you to use your tongues when you're both ready. [7]
    • Even though you’re planning to make out soon, stick to just using your lips for now. Going in with your tongue too quickly can be a little jarring, and it’s better to start out with light pecks than it is to jump in too early.
    • Take a deep breath, smile a little, and slowly lean in toward your partner. You don't have to get it right the first time and remember: they may be just as nervous as you are!
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Part 2
Part 2 of 3:

Making Out

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  1. As you begin making out, start French kissing your partner by using your tongue. With your lips pressed against theirs, lightly push the tip of your tongue into their mouth. If they seem open to it, slowly push your tongue in and out of their mouth, moving your lips at the same time. [8]
    • If your partner closes their mouth suddenly or pulls away, they may not want to make out right now, which is fine. You can simply hold hands or cuddle instead, and save making out for another day.
  2. Keep things interesting by changing up how you kiss . Don't alternate techniques too often, but do it often enough to shift gears as soon as you feel the other person losing interest. Try playing around with these variables: [9]
    • Pressure: Alternate between soft, gentle kisses and harder, more insistent ones.
    • Speed: Slow kisses are a good start to making out, and they're nice for taking a subtle breather in the middle. To convey more passion, though, you can speed up to quicker and deeper lip work.
    • Tongue: Try French kissing, or gently touching your partner's tongue with your tongue, to heighten the intensity. More than anything else, keep your tongue in motion—don't let it just sit in your partner's mouth. Make small darting movements, or sweep it around your partner's tongue in smooth, circular motions.
  3. As you keep going, try kissing your partner in other areas. If it seems like your partner likes being kissed in a certain spot, make a mental note to revisit. Some popular areas include: [10]
    • Jaw
    • Earlobes
    • Throat
    • Neck
    • Collarbones
    • Shoulders
    • Inside of the wrist, or palms
  4. Passion deserves a little time and respect, and you should never waste the first time! Make sure to keep your hands active and to keep touching your partner's body so you really connect. Here are some special touches you can try: [11]
    • Hold onto their head, and slowly and lightly move your hands to the back of their head. Rub your hands through their hair and down their shirt, or pull yourself closer to them letting their hands wrap around your back a little more to make it steamy and sexy.
    • Wrap your arms firmly but gently around them and rub up and down their back.
    • Cup their face between your hands, gently sweeping your thumbs over their cheekbones.
  5. A light nibble (not a harsh bite) can turn your partner on and enhance the feelings of making out. As you close your mouth, gently bite your partner’s bottom lip with your front teeth. Let go quickly, and don’t aim to hurt them or draw blood—you want to tease them, not cause pain. [12]
    • If a nibble sounds like too much for your first make out session, save it for when you and your partner are more comfortable with each other.
  6. If you don’t know if your partner’s into the make out session (or you just want to double check), pull away and ask them how they’re doing. Making out can be intense, and it’s totally okay if your partner wants to pause or even stop. Or, they might give you some subtle directions, like to keep doing what you’re doing or to touch them elsewhere. [13]
    • If this is your partner’s first time making out too, they’ll probably appreciate a quick check-in.
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Part 3
Part 3 of 3:

Winding Down

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  1. Don't think that you have to be passionately locking lips or kissing the entire time you're together. It's okay to take a break, laugh together a little bit, get a glass of water, or just make yourself more comfortable. This doesn't mean you should stop and talk about how hard the math homework was, or switch the subject to something else decidedly un-sexy. But if you're starting to feel like you need a breather, don't sweat it. Chances are, so does your partner. [14]
    • Pull away and smile, run your fingers through the other person's hair, and keep your hands on the person's body.
    • You can even take a break by whispering something sexy in your partner's ear. The feel of your hot breath on their ear will turn up the heat for sure.
  2. [15] Remember, they may be just as nervous as you are! Your compliments will not only be a confidence booster, but they will probably also encourage more kissing. Say things like:
    • “I love it when you ___”
    • “You’re so good at this.”
    • “I love making out with you.”
    • “You’re such a good kisser.”
    • "That felt great"
    • If your partner isn’t good at kissing, be patient. Continue to use the techniques that you’ve learned and give your partner time to follow your lead.
  3. When you're ready to say goodbye, keep things positive so that it's more likely you'll be kissing again soon. You may be feeling a mixture of emotions, but focus on the ones that make you feel amazing about what just happened. Here are some things to try before you say goodbye for the night: [16]
    • Let your partner know you had a good time. Say what you feel, and don't worry about sounding too elegant or aloof.
    • End with one more kiss. Make this one quick, light, and gentle, especially if your making out was heavy and intense toward the end.
    • Leave your partner wanting more. Tell them that you can't wait to hang out again and make it clear that you mean you can't wait to make out again too. The second time will always be even better than the first.
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Join the Discussion...

I learned the average age for a first kiss is 15...
WikiRiverDancer770
68
WikiRiverDancer770
I'm 25 and haven't had my first kiss yet. I can't help but feel like I'm behind :( I feel hopless about my love life. Am I just doomed to be alon... Read More
3
Eddy Baller
Dating Coach
For your first kiss, take it easy and build up to the moment. Start with a little bit of light physical contact. You might start by massaging her... Read More
WikiRiverDancer770
68
WikiRiverDancer770
I'm 25 and haven't had my first kiss yet. I can't help but feel like I'm behind :( I feel hopless about my love life. Am I just doomed to be alon... Read More
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  • Question
    How do I make my boyfriend a better kisser?
    Hannah Madden
    Community Answer
    Like most things, kissing just takes practice. If your partner isn't the best kisser yet, give him some time! The more you two kiss each other, the better you'll both get.
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      The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
      • Be confident when you're kissing him. If he backs away, he might just be thinking of how advanced and good you are at being intimate, and how he wants to one-up that. Remind him that you love him while you're kissing, and stroke his chest and head, too.
      • If your lips are dry or cracked beforehand, run the bristles of your toothbrush over your lips in circular motions to remove any dried skin and give yourself incredibly soft lips. Make sure you apply Chapstick or lip balm right after this.
      • There is nothing sexy about a lack of oxygen! Make sure that you and your partner get plenty of air while making out.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://dermnetnz.org/topics/fragrances-and-perfumes
      2. ↑ https://utopia.org/guide/picnic-date-ideas/
      3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201111/why-we-kiss-and-how-do-it-right
      4. ↑ Imad Jbara. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
      5. ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/body-language-101/
      6. ↑ Imad Jbara. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
      7. ↑ https://www.aarp.org/home-family/sex-intimacy/info-2014/how-to-kiss-castleman.html
      8. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/relationships/social-connection/relationship-help
      9. ↑ https://www.aarp.org/home-family/sex-intimacy/info-2014/how-to-kiss-castleman.html
      1. ↑ https://www.npr.org/2011/02/11/133686008/The-Science-Of-Kissing
      2. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/subversive_power_of_the_kiss
      3. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fs0PJKT28o
      4. ↑ https://www.aarp.org/home-family/sex-intimacy/info-2014/how-to-kiss-castleman.html
      5. ↑ https://www.bmcc.cuny.edu/news/why-we-kiss/
      6. ↑ Imad Jbara. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
      7. ↑ https://www.apa.org/pubs/highlights/spotlight/issue-135

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      To make out for the first time, choose a private location, such as a movie night at home or an outdoor area that’s deserted. You should also indicate to your partner that you’re interested by moving your body close to their’s, or unbuttoning the top of your shirt or cardigan. Once you feel ready to start, lean in towards the other person, make eye contact, and start a kiss. As you kiss, vary how you do so to keep your partner excited, like slow or fast, or with tongues or dry. Additionally, change the areas you kiss by focusing on the throat, earlobes, or jaw. While you’re kissing, run your hands over your partner’s body, including their lower back or back of the head, which shows passion. Remember that it’s perfectly fine to take a breather to get a glass of water or laugh with your partner before starting again. For tips on how to end the make out session, read on!

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